Broken things
by Kindle-the-Stars
Summary: The Winter Soldier is recognised as being Bucky Barnes by a computer programmer when he visits the Smithsonian. "If I decrypt the files for you, will you let me go?" Katherine asked carefully, not wanting to anger her kidnapper. Barnes simply tilted his head slightly as he stared at her, his gaze eerily blank and cold; eventually, after a long moment, he gave a single, sharp nod.
1. The Smithsonian

**Bucky/OC, rated M for violence and sexual situations. Set directly after CATWS, will contain elements of Civil War but AU. Several chapters already written, aiming to update every week.**

* * *

The man stood in front of the memorial to Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, staring intently up at the large picture of … _himself_.

His mission was to find out about his past, find out who he was. He had always just been the asset, the soldier. He had never questioned his orders, getting a job done with cold determination and no hesitation - but then the man on the bridge had looked at him in recognition and called him by a name that had struck a chord deep in his mind.

 _Bucky_.

His name was Bucky.

Reading the memorial, it appeared that he had been a Sergeant in WWII, a member of the Howling Commandos and best friend of Steve Rogers, Captain America … the man on the bridge.

Staring fiercely at the exhibit, his head pounded as he desperately strained to remember _something_ about this past life, but the only memory he could force to mind was the terrifying sensation of falling, Steve Rogers' hand still outstretched towards him as he plummeted down into a cold abyss.

He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw tightly as the memory was swiftly followed by another, this one much more recent, from just a few days ago - Steve Rogers falling from the exploding helicarrrier while he hung from a beam and watched him splash into the river, only to then make the impulsive decision to dive down after him.

Still trying to remember, he read the memorial once more. Upon rereading that he'd been a prisoner at a Hydra camp an old memory unfurled like a cold, clammy tentacle in his mind - being strapped to a table while a man loomed over him, injecting him over and over as pain wracked his body.

 _Armin Zola,_ a voice from a long forgotten corner of his mind whispered, making him clench his fists in his jacket pockets while his head throbbed in pain.

A small movement beside him caught his attention; a young woman was stood a few feet away from him, also looking curiously at the memorial above them. She glanced at him beside her, smiled absently when she caught his eyes, and then paused. Her gaze travelled between him and the large photo on the memorial once, twice, her lips parting in growing recognition and shock.

She had recognised him, he realised instantly.

Acting on instinct, Bucky seized her upper arm in an iron grip and propelled her swiftly towards the side of the exhibit, where there was a door that was marked staff only. "Hey!" she said in indignant surprise, trying fruitlessly to pull her arm free as he forced her into a thankfully empty corridor. "You -"

He cut her off with his metal hand, which was hidden by a pair of gloves that he had scavenged, covering her nose and mouth. She was fearful now, struggling desperately against him as he dragged her along towards an emergency exit. By the time they emerged in an alleyway towards the back of the museum she had gone completely limp in his grip, passing out from lack of air.

Bucky glanced down towards the mouth of the alley, noting that the line of sight was mostly blocked by a car parked half way down. Nevertheless, he put the woman down behind a dumpster to shield her from view before squatting down beside her and patting down her body, checking for weapons - nothing, it appeared that she wasn't with either Hydra or SHIELD.

He grabbed the messenger bag that was slung diagonally across her body and sat back on his heels as he rifled through it, still trying to ascertain if she was a threat to him. Inside he found a phone, purse, a passport, a hairbrush, a glasses case, a folded leaflet on tourist attractions in DC and a sleek, modern laptop computer in a separate case that also contained a charging cable, hard drive and several professional documents.

The ID in her purse identified her as Katherine Summers, twenty-five years old and British, her passport stamped for US arrival just over a week ago. He was able deduce from a student card that she was studying computer science at Imperial University in London.

Shifting his gaze to the unconscious woman herself, he scrutinised her carefully. She didn't look like much of a threat; she was diminutive, long dark hair spilling haphazardly over her pale face after he had carelessly deposited her on the dirty alley floor, but the fact that she had seen him, recognised him, made her dangerous.

Bucky considered simply leaving her, but he knew that would leave a trail; she would doubtless tell the authorities, which would leave leads for Hydra and the man, Steve, to follow.

The solution was obvious.

Reaching out, he wrapped his gloved, metal hand tightly around her neck and then paused, hesitating.

It was easy, simple - it was what the soldier would have done if a mission was compromised

But he didn't have orders to kill; he hadn't killed the scientists when he had briefly returned to the Ideal Federal Savings Bank after the incident on the helicarriers a few days ago, nor did he now want to kill an innocent woman.

Nevertheless, she still posed a risk to him if he left her here.

A decision made, he released her throat. He slung her bag over his shoulder and hauled her limp arm around his neck, picking her up with one arm circled around her back and his metal arm beneath her knees. Carrying her easily, he headed towards the car that was parked half way down the alley.

* * *

Katherine regained consciousness slowly; dazed and confused, she groaned and blinked her eyes open, then she immediately tensed at what she saw.

She was in a car that was travelling at speed, strapped securely into the front seat.

The man from the museum was driving, his dark cap pulled down low over his eyes to shield his face. He had grabbed her from the Captain America exhibit, covering her nose and mouth with a hand that had felt unusually hard and unyielding as she had struggled until she had passed out from lack of air.

Panicked, her breath was coming in sharp bursts and her heart raced as she shrank back as far away from him as she could in the front seat - it didn't help that the man seemed determined to ignore her, not even acknowledging that she was now awake.

Her eyes flicked down to the gun she could see shoved into the waistband of his dirty jeans - if she could just get it …

"Don't," the man rasped without even turning to look at her, no doubt guessing her intentions.

Her breathes still coming quickly, she looked at her kidnapper. He looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties, with untrimmed brown hair hanging limply to his collar and thick stubble coating his jaw. She noticed that there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead and that the pupils of his pale blue eyes were dilated, making her wonder if he was on something. His gloved hands were clenched tightly on the steering wheel - and there, in the small sliver between his jacket sleeve and his glove on his left hand, she saw a flash of metal.

Katherine's lips parted around a gasp, her eyes fixed on the metal - the news over the past few days had been full of the events of SHIELD, Hydra, Captain America and a metal-armed assassin that no-one seemed to know anything about, the media coverage making her immediately question her choice to take her sabbatical from her Phd in America. "You're … you're the man that's been on the news," she said softly, her voice catching in fear as she thought of the blurry footage she had seen of the man dressed in dark tactical gear, the metal arm glinting in the sun as he reloaded a rifle.

The man didn't reply, his gaze fixed rigidly on the road ahead.

"And at the museum …" she whispered, remembering what had initially caught her attention about him back at the exhibit, how he was _identical_ to the man in the memorial. "You're … you're _him_ , aren't you?" she asked dazedly, wondering how on earth it could be possible. "Sergeant Barnes."

Again, he didn't reply - however as she said the name his hands clenched so tightly on the wheel that it actually bent slightly under the pressure.

"How …" she started to ask, but then trailed off uncertainty at the dangerous expression on his face, her heart still pounding in fear.

The news had called him the Winter Soldier, a Hydra assassin. How had Captain America's best friend since childhood, comrade in arms who had supposedly died in action in WWII, become an assassin for a Nazi organisation seventy years later?

More importantly, to her mind, why had he now kidnapped her?

There was a very long silence, during which Katherine managed to get her breathing and heart rate somewhat under control as she looked helplessly around her. They were out of the city, heading north on the interstate in what was quite clearly a stolen car, if the lack of key in the ignition and mass of wires dangling down from beneath the steering wheel was any indication.

Eventually she worked up the courage to ask her kidnapper another question. "Where are we going?" she asked quietly, her voice cracking ever so slightly once more.

Still, he didn't even look in her direction.

Feeling utterly bewildered and overwhelmed, she blinked back the tears that were pricking fiercely in her eyes. " _Please_ ," she whispered past the vicious lump that was forming in her throat. "I … I don't know who you think I am, but -"

"Katherine Summers," the man said, interrupting her and making her blink in shock. His gaze still fixed on the road ahead. "Twenty five years old, originally from Oxford, England. You work with computers," he said emotionlessly, essentially summing up her life in a few short, clipped sentences.

He must have looked through her purse, she realised, slowly exhaling a deep breath. She bit her lip to suppress the tears as she looked out of the passenger window. She was on a sabbatical from her Phd, intending to fulfil a lifelong dream of travelling across the America's while she wrote the computer code she was working on. There was no one to report her missing - with her mother long since deceased, her father practically estranged, interested only in his new wife and the child they were expecting, and a small circle of friends that were anticipating her being unreachable at times while she was travelling, it could be weeks before someone became alerted to her peril.

"What … what do you want with me?" she asked fearfully, not having the courage to look at him, staring instead at the cars that passed on the road as she nervously laced her fingers.

There was a pause, and for a moment she thought he might not reply. "You recognised me," he said simply, making her turn to look at him - that sounded like a confirmation of her suspicions, that he was indeed Sergeant Barnes from the exhibit. "I couldn't leave that trail for Hydra to follow."

"I won't tell," she whispered, her voice catching once more.

"I don't believe you," he replied instantly, his tone grim and final.

She pressed her lips together, looking down into her lap and twisting her shaking hands. "So what are you going to do with me?" she wanted to know, fearing what he had planned for her.

Once again, he didn't reply - she quietly resigned herself to not knowing her fate for quite some time. She curled up tightly in her seat, staring blankly at the road ahead.

Several long hours passed in silence, during which they drove through Baltimore and Philadelphia without once stopping, heading North. Eventually, once the sun had gone down and cars on the interstate had started turning on their headlights, she once more worked up the courage to ask another question. "Are we going to New York?" she wanted to know as they passed a sign for the city, glancing at her silent kidnapper.

There was an almost imperceptible head shake; she assumed that was all the response she was going to get from him.

He kept on driving, skirting the edges of New York and heading into a residential area some way outside of the city itself. He pulled up on a curb on a quiet street, under the shadow of a streetlight with a blown bulb.

They sat silently for several minutes; the man - Sergeant Barnes - was staring intently at a plain, non-descript house just down the street. "Where are we?" she whispered, wondering what they were waiting for.

Another pause, and then, "This was a Hydra safe house," he replied emotionlessly, still staring at the house from beneath the rim of his cap, tense and alert.

"Hydra?" she repeated, her voice coming out as a faint squeak - the news had been full of horror stories about the Nazi organisation, why had he bought her here?

He didn't reply, and there was silence for another few minutes.

"Why -" she started to ask, but he shot her a dangerous, warning look to indicate that his patience with her questions was running thin. She obligingly bit her tongue, clenching her trembling hands into fists in an effort to stop the shaking that had started again.

They sat and watched the house for well over an hour; there was no lights on and no one was coming or going. Even the street itself was quiet, the only people they saw being a dog walker and a middle aged couple, probably on their way back from an evening at the pub.

Abruptly, Sergeant Barnes reached for something in the back seat and then opened the driver's door. "Follow me, quietly," he ordered as he got out of the car, closing the door behind him with an almost silent snick.

Katherine scrambled to obey, unfastening her seatbelt and clambering out of the car, not quite managing to close the door as quietly as he had. He was waiting for her at the front of the car. He had his gun drawn and lowered by his side, though she was somewhat relieved to note that he also had her messenger bag slung over one shoulder since she had thought it had been left behind at the museum. He immediately grabbed her upper arm in a bruising grip, in almost the exact same place he'd grasped her before in the museum, and marched her towards the house, his eyes flicking warily from side to side as they walked.

He swiftly opened the door by simply grasping the handle in his metal hand and twisting until the lock broke, pushing her before him into the house and closing the door behind them.

The house was dark and silent, looking more like a deserted and neglected suburban home than the Nazi refuge it apparently was. Sergeant Barnes didn't turn on any lights in the hall and Katherine followed him down the corridor towards a disused, dusty kitchen, where he flicked on the light, which was a single bare bulb. He put her bag down on the table and moved to check that the backdoor and windows of the house were secure.

Hesitantly, she crossed to the table to look in her bag, wanting to make sure all her belongings were accounted for. He didn't stop her, seemingly not even paying any attention to her as he examined the lock on the backdoor. She looked inside the bag, breathing a quick sigh of relief when she saw that her computer bag was still inside - that bag was her life at the moment, containing the code she was working on for her Phd.

There wasn't much in the bag, just things for a day trip to a few of the museums in DC and then the library; the rest of the possessions she'd bought with her were in a suitcase in the room of the hotel she was staying at, a room that was paid up for a week. She wondered what they would do with it when she didn't check out at the end of the week, if they would report it to the police or just dismiss it as nothing.

She wondered if she would even be alive at that point.

Her hand closed around her phone within the bag and she hesitated, wondering if he would notice if she slipped it into her pocket. She could use it to contact someone, anyone - but the thought was immediately pushed from her mind as the phone was suddenly seized from her hand and ruthlessly crushed in a metal hand.

She looked up to find the metal-armed assassin towering threateningly over her - Sergeant Barnes was glaring at her as he slowly opened his fist and dropped the mangled phone onto the dusty table beside them with a faint thud.

"I wasn't …" she started to say defensively, but then quickly quailed and fearfully lowered her eyes under the wake of his furious stare.

Heart pounding, she exhaled another shaky breath and kept very still as he resumed checking that the kitchen was secure, not wanting to give him any reason to damage anything else, such as herself or her computer.

There was another long silence and she eventually worked up the nerve to peek up at him once more. He had stopped moving and was now stood on the opposite side of the table. His jaw was clenched and his gaze was fixed on the crushed remains of the phone on the table between them. He caught her looking at him and frowned deeply. "Wait here," he ordered brusquely, and then vanished through the kitchen door.

Katherine exhaled a deep, shaking breath, sat down at the table and waited. Seconds dragged into minutes and still he didn't return. She briefly stood up to listen at the door to the kitchen, but could hear no movement in the rest of the house. She thought about making a break for it, of just sprinting down the corridor and out onto the street - but she feared what his reaction would be if he caught her, given that he had crushed her phone simply because she'd touched it.

She had been on her own in the kitchen for what felt like over an hour when her stomach rumbled, making her think back to when her last meal was - the croissant she had snagged from the breakfast bar at the hotel earlier that morning before she headed out to explore the museums, and now it was well into the night.

She tapped her fingers on the table, waited another few minutes, and the stood up to investigate the cupboards of the kitchen, finding several packets of mre food. She bit her lip, wondering if he would mind her eating, but another stomach rumble made the decision for her. Leaving two packets on the counter, she tried the tap at the sink and grimaced as the water spluttered and came out brown from the pipes. She left the water running to clear it, and soon enough the water was running clear.

She busied herself filling and heating a saucepan of water, adding the mre packets to the water; she was so occupied with what she was doing that she didn't notice Sergeant Barnes returning and standing in the kitchen doorway to watch her.

* * *

Bucky stood in the kitchen doorway of the Hydra safehouse, his head tilted ever so slightly to one side as he watched the young woman move around the kitchen. She was tense and fearful, moving with slightly hunched shoulders as if she expected a blow, but still something about her movements tugged on a long-forgotten memory in his mind.

An older woman stood with her back to him in a very different kitchen, her dark hair curled and wearing a long, floral dress with an apron around her waist, humming as she stirred a pot on the stove.

 _His mother?_

It was only the briefest flash of a memory, but nevertheless his lips parted at the intensity of it.

He must have made some noise or movement, since the woman tensed even further and looked in his direction, appearing for all the world like a spooked animal. She swallowed nervously, glancing between him and the pot of boiling water. "I … I hope you don't mind, I'm making food," she said, sounding hesitant, like she was asking for his permission.

He didn't reply, simply looking intently at her to see if any other memories surfaced.

The woman, Katherine, seemed uncomfortable with his intense scrutiny, her eyes regularly darting to him as she once more moved cautiously around the kitchen. She plated up two portions of food with visibly shaking hands and sat down at the table, keeping her eyes lowered. One plate was in front of her, the other opposite, apparently meant for him.

It was his turn to hesitate, unsure of what to make of this offering, before he slowly crossed the kitchen, sat down opposite her and picked up his fork.

He stared down at the plate of food, trying to remember the last time he had eaten anything.

He'd been given food as the soldier, of course, but it had always been on metal trays, hardly solid and flavourless mush to accompany the cocktail of what was no doubt mood suppressant drugs and other supplements they had plugged him with. He suspected the withdrawal from the drugs was the reason he'd spent the past few days retching, sweating and shaking in the back alleys of DC after not returning to his handlers at Hydra before finally having the strength to go to the museum exhibit that he had found a damp, tattered flyer for.

Certainly he thought that this may well be the first meal he had shared in company in what was likely seventy years, if what the memorial had said was indeed true.

Slowly, he took a bite of the food and chewed carefully. With the first mouthful he became aware of just how hungry he was and quickly took another bite, then another, wolfing down the food.

It hit his empty stomach and immediately nauseated him.

"Are you alright?" the woman, Katherine, asked him, looking at him in some concern.

He didn't reply, his empty stomach roiling - roughly pushing the plate away, he lurched to the sink and vomited, followed by dry retching as his stomach continued to heave.

Feeling weakened, he slumped down on the floor, leaning his back against the kitchen cabinets and closing his eyes. He felt exhausted, not even remembering the last time he had slept - truly slept.

He became aware of the young woman moving around the room, followed by the sound of the tap running. He sensed her slowly approaching and crouching down in front of him, but he kept his head tilted back and his eyes closed.

"Sergeant Barnes?" she said softly.

He didn't respond at first, then remembered that that was his name - she was talking to him.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was kneeling down on the dirty kitchen floor a few feet away, holding a mug of water out to him with a look of concern on her face. He took the mug and sipped the water slowly, making sure his stomach would not recoil again before he took another mouthful.

Katherine was biting her lip, still kneeling down so that she was on his level. "You should probably go to a hospital," she suggested quietly, sounding like she didn't expect him to like the idea.

"No," he replied, his voice rusty; they couldn't go to a hospital, he'd be found instantly.

There was another very long silence between them as he drank the water. He managed the whole mug without his stomach protesting again and felt much stronger for it, though he knew he would have to eat properly soon.

He was aware of Katherine staring at him from where she was crouched a few feet away. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and she seemed like she was mustering the courage to speak once more. "Please ..." she said eventually from where she knelt, her voice very soft and hesitant. "I have questions."

Of course she did, he had kidnapped her from a museum in broad daylight and scarcely given her a word of explanation.

His eyes flicked up to her and she took this as permission to speak.

She took a deep breath. "You are Sergeant James Barnes, aren't you?" she wanted to know.

He looked at her, a deep frown creasing his brow. That was the name that had been beside his picture in the museum and it did indeed seem familiar, somehow. "I don't know," he admitted honestly.

Katherine blinked at him, tilting her head slightly to one side.

"I don't remember him," he continued, the words coming out with difficulty since he was not accustomed to conversation. "Barnes," he added, as if he was speaking about someone else and not himself. He closed his eyes once more and leant his head back on the cabinet. "I don't remember anything except what they made me."

"They?" she repeated hesitantly. "Hydra?"

He nodded, keeping his eyes closed as the nausea rose again at the very mention of the name.

There was another pause, then she spoke carefully once more. "It said on the news that - that Hydra was a Nazi group that were trying to kill millions of people with those helicarriers," she said with quiet fear.

He gave a small movement, like a shrug. He didn't actually know what the helicarriers were for, his mission had been to kill the man - _Steve_ , his supposed best friend.

"You're ... you're an assassin," she continued, her voice a scant and fearful whisper.

He opened his eyes and gave her a sharp, suspicious look that made her visibly flinch back. "How did you know that?" he wanted to know in a dangerously quiet tone, his fingertips just brushing the hilt of the knife he had in his boot.

"It was on the news," she said quickly, clearly spooked by his sudden tension and wanting to explain herself. "They've been talking about nothing but the attack and the files for days."

Bucky blinked at her and frowned - he knew that files contained information, he'd often been sent to retrieve them, killing people to get them. "Files?" he questioned intently, staring at her.

"The Hydra and SHIELD files that Black Widow released on the internet," she said simply. He was still looking at her blankly, unable to believe that all of that information was potentially there for the taking; she tilted her head once more, frowning slightly at him. "You didn't know?"

He got up swiftly, startling her and making her flich back once more. "Show me," he ordered simply, one hand braced on the kitchen counter for support as he reached down and pulled her roughly to her feet.

* * *

Several minutes later Katherine found herself sat with her laptop at the kitchen table with Sergeant Barnes hovering over her shoulder. It had taken them some time to get set up, with Katherine having to hunt around the Hydra safehouse for a router to connect to the internet, something that had felt strangely mundane.

It didn't take her long to find the files, not with how high profile the Black Widow's data leak had been, but hit a snag when she found that they had been ring-fenced, probably by some government department. The government couldn't actually remove them from the internet, but they had made them near impossible to access to a lay-person.

Katherine, however, was not a lay-person - she was working towards her Phd in computer science. She adjusted her reading glasses and set to work, her fingers moving with lightning speed.

Typing deftly on the keyboard, she bypassed the data stream and found a back channel into the files. "We aren't the first ones here, not by a long shot," she said, her gaze fixed on the screen. "There's digital fingerprints all over this." She exhaled a long breath and briefly bit her lips, not having anticipated just how much data there would be. "There's more here than I thought, it's millions of pages and most of it is encrypted."

"Can you decrypt them?" Barnes wanted to know, shifting to lean impatiently further over her shoulder, his breath stirring her hair.

"I - I can try," she said, pecking at the keyboard and then reaching for her external hard drive; it was small, portable and expensive, but had the capacity to hold all the data files they were loading without even taking up half of the space. "My computer won't have the space for that many files so I'll need to download them on to my external hard drive first before I can run any decryption programs," she bit her lip and glanced up at the man towering over her. "It won't be quick though, it's a lot of files," she warned.

His jaw was clenched as he stared at the screen. "Do it," he ordered.

She plugged in her hard drive and typed away at the keyboard. A progress bar appeared as the download started.

There was yet another long silence as they both watched the progress bar move at a snail's pace. Barnes was clearly impatient, shifting on his feet. "What's taking so long?" he wanted to know after several long, tense minutes.

"I told you it would take a while, it -" she was cut off as the computer let out a warning beep and the progress bar suddenly flashed red. Recognising immediately what was happening, she leapt into action, pulling up a different data stream to see where the problem was.

"What's going on?" he asked sharply, his suspicion evident.

"My code is attacking the data files," she said simply, typing furiously away and frowning at the computer.

" _Your_ code?" he repeated, sounding more than a little confused.

"I'm working on a computer code to prevent systems from being hacked, but it shouldn't have activated unless …" she trailed off slowly.

"Unless _what_?" he seethed, his frustration at not knowing what was going on evident.

"Unless there is a threat to the computer," she finished, not even raising her gaze from the screen as she pulled up her own code schematics and canvased around the feed. "Hold on … _shit_ ," she said, abruptly renewing her furious typing.

" _What_?" Barnes hissed sharply, his patience clearly running thin.

"There's a virus, it's like it's … barbed," she explained, still focused on the computer. "It's subtle, most people wouldn't even notice it's there, but has embedded spikes into my system."

There was a pause, and then, "What does that mean?" he wanted to know, his hand clenched tightly on the back of her chair.

"I'm not sure yet," she said, grimacing slightly as she worked. "It must be intended to track those who take an interest. This isn't a secure server so they'll have a pin on us, that's for definite though."

The metal hand on the back of her chair tightened further, splintering the wood. "We have to go," he said firmly, though his gaze was also locked on the screen with an almost hungry expression. "Stop the download."

"Do you want these files or not?" she argued, surprising herself. "It's not the files that have the virus so I can still download them. The virus is in the host site, but I can remove the spikes as I leave." She glanced up at him, meeting and holding his eyes. "If you want these files then I need them on the hard drive to be able to decrypt them."

There was a brief silence as he looked at the screen, his jaw clenched. "How long until the download is complete?" he wanted to know; clearly he was desperate to get these files.

She pulled the progress bar back up. "A couple of minutes," she said. "It's the size of the data files, that's the problem."

He jerked his head in a nod. "Be ready to leave the moment it's done," he commanded simply.

Following his orders, Katherine dashed to the bathroom she had seen when she was looking for the router; by the time she got back Sergeant Barnes had wiped down the kitchen to remove their fingerprints and had two plain, black bags ready and waiting by his feet, as well as a large assault rifle slung over his shoulder as he watched the progress bar intently.

Finally, several tense and silent minutes later, the download was complete. "Done," she said, exhaling a sigh of relief.

Barnes grabbed her upper arm once more. "Let's go," he said, his impatience obvious.

"Wait," she said as he reached out to close the laptop. "I need to remove the spikes or they will be able to track the computer."

A muscle ticked in his jaw, but nevertheless he jerked his head in a nod and released her to sit back down once more. Clearly on edge, he crossed to the window, his gun at the ready. Evidently he was expecting an attack of some sort imminently, something that rather worried her.

It only took her a few minutes to clear the spikes from the computer and disconnect from the internet, wiping all digital traces that they had ever been there from her laptop. Confident that they had the files on the hard drive and now couldn't be tracked, she pulled off her glasses and closed the laptop. "Done," she said, slipping both the computer and the hard drive back into her messenger bag, which she then slung diagonally across her body.

"Come on," Barnes said tersely, taking her by the arm and propelling her out of the room.

They moved silently down the corridor towards the front door, then he pulled her to an abrupt halt. There was a brief, tense pause. "Wait here," he commanded quietly, then slipped off down the corridor with his gun poised and ready.

It felt eerily silent in the dark without him and Katherine found herself trembling once more, her heart pounding as she waited, clinging nervously to her bag. Suddenly there were noises ahead, a distinct scuffling sound followed by a muffled thud.

She instinctively took a step forward, half thinking to investigate and make sure Sergeant Barnes was alright, but she was abruptly grabbed from behind. Her assailant viciously twisted her right arm behind her back and she cried out in pain as unbearable strain was put on her shoulder. The cold barrell of a gun was pressed tightly under her chin, forcing her head up.

" _Drop it!"_ the man holding her shouted down the corridor, and she saw Barnes at the far end with his gun pointed at them both. She whimpered as her arm was pulled even tighter back, her shoulder threatening to dislocate under the strain. "Drop it, or I'll shoot her."

A deafening gunshot rang through the house.

Katherine felt something white-hot whizz past her cheek and a split second later her face and torso were drenched in hot, gushing blood. She screamed and staggered as the man released her and collapsed to the ground. Looking down, she saw that half of his head had been blown away - she kept screaming.

Barnes seized her arm once more, the same one that the man had held her by, turning her scream to a gasp of pain as he wrenched it to get her moving. He dragged her forcefully along, out of the house and towards the car. She was vaguely aware of him using his metal arm to shield them both from gunfire, firing several more shots himself in turn that made the guns fall eerily silent.

He shoved her brutally into the car and climbed in himself, twisting one of the wires he had hotwired earlier to start the ignition before roaring down the road at full speed with Katherine gasping and trembling in the front seat.

There was absolute silence in the car as they drove for hours, the blood of the man Sergeant Barnes had killed drying into sticky, brown streaks on her skin, hair and clothing. Katherine huddled in the front seat, her tears leaving tracks in the blood that was splattered all over her face as they drove into the darkness.

* * *

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	2. On the road

They drove silently for several hours, putting a few hundred miles between them and the Hydra safehouse. The clock read 3:26 in the morning when they finally pulled up at a scummy, run-down motel. With it's featureless, blocky structure, several cracked windows and neon sign that was flickering weakly, it looked like the kind of place you'd expect to see cordoned off by police tape on a crime drama.

Sergeant Barnes parked the stolen car in a shadowy corner and glanced at Katherine for the first time since leaving the Hydra house. "Wait here," he ordered quietly, then slipped out of the car with his cap down low and one of the bags he had taken from the safehouse in hand, leaving her wide eyed and trembling in the front seat.

A small, logical part of her recognised that she was in shock - unsurprisingly, since she had been kidnapped, assaulted and seen a man's head blown apart in the past few hours. She looked down at her shaking hands, lit by the flickering red light of the motel sign, and saw that they were splattered with the man's blood. She suppressed a whimper and clenched them into fists, feeling her nails dig into her palms.

Sergeant Barnes returned scarcely two minutes later, a room key in his hand. He retrieved the other bags from the back, including her messenger bag, then came around the passenger side door. He opened it and looked in at her with a slight frown; she turned and met his gaze blankly, her breathing shallow.

When she made no move to get out of the car he wordlessly reached in and tugged her forcibly from the front seat. His hands automatically steadied her as she stumbled to find her feet and his gaze flicked down the length of her body. His frown deepened further. After a moments pause, he shrugged off his jacket to put it around her shoulders - she suspected that this was more to do with the fact that she was covered in dried blood than out of any concern for her wellbeing.

With his hand wrapped once more around her upper arm, not seeming to notice her wince of pain from her fiercely aching shoulder, he lead her over to a room near where they were parked, at the far end of the complex.

The room was small and sparse, containing a poorly made double bed and a table with two chairs, upon which was a rather sad looking kettle, chipped mugs and the kind of tea and coffee selection you'd expect to see in a cheap motel. Sergeant Barnes locked the door of the room behind them and marched her over to the cramped ensuite that contained a sink, toilet and tiny shower cubicle.

He deposited her unceremoniously in the bathroom. "Clean yourself up," he told her curtly, then left the room, closing the door firmly behind him.

Katherine froze in horror as her gaze met her own in the cracked, spotted mirror that hung above the sink. The torso of her entire left side was drenched in blood, which had dried a rusty brown on her skin and clothing, matting in her hair. She looked like the victim in a horror movie, the sight of herself making her panic bubble and rise uncontrollably all over again. Feeling like she was about to collapse, she exhaled a long, shaking breath and slowly lowered herself down to the floor until she was huddled in a small ball against the bathroom wall with her forehead resting on her drawn up knees.

Her breath hitched in a great, gasping sob, quickly followed by another and another as she started to cry uncontrollably. She tightened her arms around her knees, shuddering violently as she curled up on the dirty bathroom floor and simply tried to breathe through her fear.

She didn't know how long she had sat there trembling for when the bathroom door opened and Sergeant Barnes walked in once more. She slowly raised her bloody, tear-streaked face to look warily at him, keeping her arms locked protectively around her knees. He stared down at her for a long moment, his expression disapproving, then crossed the small space to the shower cubicle. Reaching in, he turned on the water and then paused - he ran his hand briefly beneath the spray, seemingly curious about it for some reason.

He approached her and crouched down, looking at her intently with his steely, grey-blue eyes. She stared blankly back at him, feeling strangely detached from the situation - _shock_ , her mind whispered again. After a long moment, he reached out and took one of her feet in his hands with surprising gentleness - there was a faint buzz as he slowly unzipped her black, knee high boot.

He'd taken off his gloves, she noticed bewilderedly as he removed her boot and sock and then reached for her other foot. She could see his metal hand for the first time and her gaze was fixed on it. It was an extraordinary prosthetic, shiny chrome plates that interlocked and flowed together to mimic the movement and flexibility of a real hand.

With her boots and socks removed, he stood up and then reached down to pick her up like one would a child, with his hands beneath her armpits. She staggered on her feet and whimpered slightly as her aching shoulder was jostled once again, something that he didn't fail to notice this time.

He pulled the jacket he had covered her with off and dropped it carelessly to the floor before reaching out and examining her shoulder, his flesh hand moving over it and digging into the muscle slightly. "Just a strain," he said softly as she winced in pain from his examination, apparently to himself.

Seemingly satisfied that she wasn't seriously injured, his hands moved to unbutton her shirt.

Cold terror flooded her, making her freeze in abject fear while he started to undress her.

Utterly petrified and knowing that struggling or fighting would be futile against a metal armed, Nazi assassin, she stood silent, limp and unresisting. Her breaths were coming sharply as her bloodstained shirt was pulled from her arms and dropped to join the jacket on the floor, her arms automatically coming up to cover herself. His metal fingers flicked the button of her jeans undone, an icy knuckle brushing the bare skin of her stomach as he did so. He pushed her jeans down over her hips with almost clinical detachment, bending down to pull the material first from one leg, then the other, so that she was left in just her bra and knickers.

Katherine closed her eyes, letting out another gasping sob as she hunched over to try and cover herself and shivered violently.

She felt his flesh hand move to her upper arm once more, the same place he had grabbed her several times to move her, and his fingers lightly trailed over the skin there. She flinched and shuddered violently, not wanting him to touch her. "Please don't," she whispered with her eyes clenched tightly closed, fearing the worst.

There was a pause, and then the hand was removed from her arm. "I'm not going to hurt you," Sergeant Barnes said quietly, his voice a low rasp in the small bathroom.

Katherine cautiously opened her eyes, raising them up to meet his; he was frowning deeply at her once more, looking troubled. Looking down to where his hand had touched her upper arm, she saw that he had been examining the scale of purple and blue bruises on her arm that were vaguely the shape of fingerprints, evidence of the several times she had been grabbed there in the past few hours.

Barnes took her elbow with much more care than he had shown previously and guided her over to the shower cubicle. He pushed her beneath the hot spray, the water immediately running brown as the blood started to wash off her skin and hair. She froze at her first glimpse of the rusty red water, automatically flinching at the sight and trying to back out of the shower. He didn't let her, threading his flesh hand tightly though the hair at the base of her skull and holding her head forcibly beneath the running water to rinse out the blood while her fingers scrabbled for purchase on the glass of the cubicle.

"I … I can manage," she said shakily once she was able to catch her breath and recover from the sight of the bloody water, the hot, pounding spray helping to rouse her from the shock-induced stupor she had been in since leaving the Hydra house.

Barnes immediately released her hair, allowing her to straighten up beneath the water. He gave her a single, curt nod and left the bathroom once more, closing the door behind him to give her privacy and leaving her standing alone beneath the hot spray in just her underwear.

Katherine stood beneath the hot water for several long minutes, letting the blood simply wash off as she tried to take deep, calming breaths to control her gradually diminishing panic. Once the water ran clear she picked up the small, hard bar of soap that sat on the ledge, the only toiletry provided by the motel, and tried her best to work it into a lather, rubbing it over her body and in her hair.

Satisfied that she was as clean as she was going to get, she turned off the water, rung out her long, dripping hair and got out of the shower. There was a single, rough towel hung up on the door. She hesitated, wondering what clothes she could put on; her jeans weren't too bad, with only a few blood splatters that were nearly impossible to see on the dark material, but her shirt was no doubt ruined with bloodstains.

Eventually, she left on her damp underwear, finger combed her hair and put her jeans and Sergeant Barnes' jacket back on, zipping it up securely to cover herself. Absently, she noticed that the dark jacket smelt of stale cigarette smoke and wrinkled her nose, assuming he had stolen it before going to the museum.

She headed out of the bathroom, finding Sergeant Barnes stood beside the bed, examining several guns that he had laid out there. He looked up at her as she entered and gave a small nod, seemingly satisfied that she was now clean. Wordlessly, he moved passed her and went into the bathroom himself, closing the door behind him; moments later, she heard the shower running once more.

Katherine busied herself with brushing her hair properly, grateful that she kept a hairbrush in her bag, and setting up her computer on the small table. She plugged it in to charge, assuming he'd want to see the files she'd downloaded onto her hard drive back at the safehouse.

Several minutes later the water turned off and Barnes emerged from the bathroom wearing the same clothes he had been in before but with damp, dripping hair hanging around his collar.

He looked at her sat there at the table in front of her computer and she swallowed under the wake of his gaze. "So what happens now?" she wanted to know, nervously twisting her fingers together.

"You said you could decrypt the files," Barnes said simply, nodding towards the computer.

Katherine chewed her lip for a moment. "... If I do, will you let me go?" she asked carefully, not wanting to anger her kidnapper.

Barnes tilted his head slightly as he stared at her, his gaze eerily blank and cold; eventually, after a very long moment, he gave a single, sharp nod.

She took a deep breath and turned to the computer, switching it on and plugging in her external hard drive. She had several decryption programs on her computer and systematically tried each of them. As she'd suspected, she couldn't simply decrypt the files with generic programs, not without being connected to the internet, which she didn't want to risk after being tracked before. She would have to use good, old-fashioned brute force computing. With that in mind, she searched the data streams of the file banks and deduced that the decryption had a seven-figure access key. She set up a BFC program that would systematically generate and test each possibility.

With that set up and running in the background, she bit her lip and turned to face Barnes. "I've set up a decryption program, it's now a case of waiting."

"How long?" he wanted to know, coming over to pull out the other rickety chair and sit at the table with her to look at the screen - the motel room felt rather small with the two of them crammed into it, his broad shouldered bulk taking up far too much of the limited space.

"Honestly? With only one computer it could be days, weeks even," she said with a grimace, wondering how this would work - would she have to stay with him until the files decrypted? Even with the program checking over one hundred possibilities per second, running even when the computer was not in use, it could well take weeks. "This program is running every possible combination of seven digit letters and numbers to try and find the decryption key. That's …" she frowned, doing some maths in her head. "That's well over seventy billion combinations."

He looked slightly staggered by this. "It can do all that?" he asked, sounding slightly surprised.

"Yeah, it's really not that complicated, just your basic number crunching algorithm, nothing tricky about it but very time consuming," she said, going into explanation mode without realising it. "We call it BFC, brute force computing, because eventually it will always work - well, assuming whatever you're trying to hack isn't rewriting itself as you work or protected with biometric tech, like retinal scans, but luckily this isn't."

Barnes looked completely bewildered by what she was saying, his gaze fixed on the decryption program, watching as the numerous, tiny green numbers within the window flashed and changed with lightning speed. Katherine got the distinct impression that he did not know much about computers or how they worked, which was no doubt why he needed her to decrypt the files for him.

She wondered how that was possible, given how prolific computers had been for years now, but then there seemed to be rather a lot that he didn't know - in fact, back at the Hydra safehouse he'd even said that he didn't remember who Sergeant James Barnes was, that he didn't remember anything except what Hydra had made him.

She didn't know how, but she had deduced that he had somehow lost all memory of the man he'd once been before coming a Hydra assassin.

With him looking intently at the screen instead of her, she tucked a lock of damp hair behind her ear and worked up the courage to ask a question she had been wondering for a few hours now. "Hey, um, so what do I call you?" she wanted to know since he hadn't exactly introduced himself when he'd taken her from the museum.

Barnes blinked slowly as he raised his gaze up from the computer to her, seeming rather thrown by the question. "They used to call me the Asset," he said in an emotionless voice. "Or Soldier."

Katherine's brow furrowed in mild horror. "I'm not calling you either of those," she said firmly, unable to believe how … _dehumanising_ that was, that he'd not even been given the dignity of a name. "What about Sergeant Barnes?"

He immediately shook his head, a scowl tugging at his mouth.

"James then?" she suggested cautiously, tilting her head at him.

"The man on the bridge …" he said slowly, looking like he was thinking deeply about this. "Steve Rogers ... He called me Bucky."

"The museum exhibit called you Bucky too," she said softly, thinking back to the memorial she had seen - strange to think that was only a few hours ago, so much had happened in that time. "Is that what you want me to call you?"

He visibly hesitated and then gave a small nod, though didn't look entirely convinced; he turned back to the computer with heavy lines of contemplation marring his brow, his jaw clenched tightly.

There was a brief silence as they both watched the decryption program plugging away, then Katherine sighed and yawned, growing aware of just how exhausted she was. "There's no point in watching it really," she said absently, rubbing one eye with the heel of her hand and nodding to the laptop screen, noting that the small clock in the corner read 5:17 in the morning. "Like I said, it could take days and it will tell us when it's done."

Barnes - Bucky, she reminded herself - nodded at her words, looking resigned and weary. "Get some sleep," he ordered her, still not raising his gaze from the screen that he was frowning at, giving no indication that he intended to stop watching the program.

Following this advice, Katherine went to the bathroom to use the toilet and rinse her mouth, not having a toothbrush or toothpaste, before returning and getting into the double bed on the side that wasn't covered with guns. It wasn't exactly comfortable, what with her aching shoulder, the rough sheets and her damp clothing, not to mention the man who had kidnapped her being sat less than six feet away.

Barnes was still sat staring intently at the computer screen, the green digits on the screen casting a sinister light on his face in the dark room. He had reclined back in his chair and drawn a knife from somewhere, which he was expertly flipping and twirling between his fingers seemingly absent-mindedly as he watched the decryption program with an almost hungry expression.

Nevertheless, she was tired enough that she was asleep within minutes.

It felt like no time at all had passed when she was being shaken awake by a single hand on her shoulder. Bucky was standing over her and she couldn't suppress a slight flinch as she woke, despite now believing that he wouldn't hurt her. "We need to get going, you can sleep more in the car," he said tersely, his whole demeanor tense and watchful.

Yawning and shaking off sleep, she sat up and looked at the small alarm clock on the bedside table - it read 7:03, meaning that she had been asleep for less than two hours. Looking around the room, she saw that he had packed everything up, except for her computer, which still had green digits flashing across the screen. Sleepily, she headed to the bathroom. She was surprised to find her bloodstained shirt was gone, a large, plain, black man's t-shirt having been left in its place, no doubt taken from the Hydra safehouse; she winced in pain as her shoulder protested when she pulled the shirt on. Her bra and knickers were both still damp from having worn them in the shower the night before, but there wasn't a lot she could do about that.

Katherine packed up her computer and Barnes insisted in wiping down the entire room before they left to avoid leaving fingerprints. The sun hadn't even risen when they left the room scant minutes after she had woken up, leaving the room key on the table to avoid going to the reception. Katherine followed him to the stolen car, keeping her head down per his instructions, and they were soon on the road again.

She curled up in the front seat and dozed for a couple of hours, unknowingly sleeping through refueling the car, but then woke up properly a few hours before midday. Conversation did not seem to be on the cards, and so she pulled her computer from her bag at her feet and perched it on her knees, putting on her reading glasses once more.

Bucky gave her a sharp look as she opened it, no doubt thinking about the files. "Nothing yet," she said, answering his unasked question as she checked the decryption program. "I told you it would take a while."

He gave a single nod to show his understanding and returned his gaze to the road.

She pulled up her coding program and started to type sections of code as they drove. It was a project that she was working on for her Phd in computer science, one that had grown legs and become far bigger than she had expected. Her professor at Imperial had suggested that she take a sabbatical to focus on writing it, getting it finished so it could be potentially marketed as well as being used for her qualification.

The code she was working on was designed to prevent hacks and viruses - ideally, a system protected by this code would not only be shielded from attackers, but would also be able to trace viruses and hacks back to their source, sending mutated versions of their own malware to cripple their systems.

They drove like that for several hours, silence reigning between them. Eventually, in the middle of the afternoon, she pulled off her glasses, closed the laptop to save the battery life and stretched as best she could in the front seat. She rotated her shoulder in it's socket, feeling like the aching was easing up. "Can we stop?" she asked, feeling rather hungry since they hadn't eaten anything since the mre food the night before and needing to use the bathroom.

Bucky glanced at her and nodded once. "Next services," he agreed brusquely, rather to her surprise since she hadn't expected him to agree so easily.

Several minutes later they pulled into a fairly standard services, one that had a petrol station and shop. Bucky reached into the back of the car and grabbed one of the bags he had taken from the Hydra safehouse. He opened it and passed her a wad of cash, at least a hundred dollars. "Cash only. Keep your head down to avoid cameras," he told her and she nodded absently, staring down at the huge handful of cash with slightly wide eyes. She reached out for the handle to open the car door, but was stopped by a hand wrapping firmly around her wrist. She quickly turned to look at him. "If you try to run or talk to anyone, I'll be very displeased," he added in a low, stern voice, his jaw set into a rigid line.

Katherine swallowed hard and nodded her understanding, reminded anew of just how dangerous this man was. Strange, but she hadn't even thought about trying to run while they were at the service station, having resigned herself to staying with him until the files decrypted.

 _Must be Stockholm Syndrome_ , she thought somewhat bitterly to herself as he slowly released her wrist and she got out of the stolen car.

She went inside to use the bathroom while he refulled the car, his cap pulled down low. She looked in the mirror as she washed her hands - the same long brown hair, hazel eyes and pale skin stared back at her, but it seemed to her that there was some indelible change in her features, something beyond the lack of make up and the nondescript black t-shirt that she now wore.

She perused the shop next, checking where the cameras were and making sure to keep her head down as she did so. Thinking back to how Bucky had vomited at the mre food the night before and wondering when the last time he had properly eaten was, she put some bottles of water, a few sandwiches and some bags of nuts in her basket, hoping he would be able to stomach the plain food easier. After a moment's hesitation, she also added a portable car charger that would be compatible with her laptop, meaning she would be able to work in the car without draining her laptop battery.

She paid for her items whilst keeping her head down as instructed, not even making conversation with the cashier, and headed out of the shop.

There was no sign of Bucky anywhere, the car no longer at the petrol pump.

Abruptly, she felt a flash of fear - her laptop and hard drive with the files was in the car, had he just taken them and left her here?

"Hey baby," a rough, American voice said to one side of her, making her jump.

Glancing over, she saw four grimy looking men, truckers, most likely, sat at a table with fast food wrappers and staring at her. She ignored them, continuing to scan the services for Bucky as she tried to control her growing panic; not seeing him, she started to walk back towards the shop, thinking she might have missed him coming in.

"Don't be like that, we just wanna talk to you," the trucker's voice said, alarmingly close behind her now - he grabbed her wrist in his thick, meaty hand, pulling her to a halt.

"Let go of my arm," she said coolly, glaring at him as best she could and trying to tug her wrist free.

"So she does talk!" one of the other men, who had followed his companion, said with a snicker. "How about you give us a smile now too?"

Katherine tugged harder at her arm, having absolutely no patience to deal with redneck truckers. Her injured shoulder twinged in pain at the movement, fueling her anger. "I _said_ , let go -"

Bucky suddenly appeared behind the men like he had simply materialised there, his cap pulled down low. He gripped the shoulder of the man holding her wrist in what she knew was his metal hand despite the glove. "The lady told you to let go," he said low, dangerous voice, a hint of Brooklyn drawl breaking through - without even waiting for a response, he shoved hard at the man, sending him sprawling on the floor and skidding several meters.

"Hey asshole -" one of the other truckers started to say, sending a punch in Bucky's direction. He dodged it with easy grace, then put all three of the men still standing to the ground with a series of quick, controlled punches that he made look effortless.

As the last man fell he sent a wild haymaker towards Bucky's face which caught on the brim of his cap, sending it tumbling to the floor. Katherine darted to pick it up and glanced at the camera she had spotted whilst in the shop, wondering if it would have caught their faces. Bucky seized it from her hand and jammed it back on his head - but she suspected it was too late.

Bucky took her by the arm once more, though with more care than he had done the previous day now that he was aware of the bruises he had left, and marched her outside and around the corner of the building, where the car was waiting out of sight. "I told you not to speak to anyone," he said in a quiet snarl, the anger in his tone belayed by the gentleness of his grip on her arm.

"That wasn't my fault," Katherine protested as they approached the car, unable to believe he was apparently blaming her for being harrassed by those truckers. "They -"

"I don't think you understand," Bucky interrupted furiously, wrenching the passenger side door open for her and practically shoving her towards it, his eyes darting warily around. "The camera's will have gotten a clear view of my face during that fight. Hydra can sweep wirelessly accessible cameras for facial recognition and trust me when I say that gas stations within a days driving distance of the New York safehouse they tracked us to will be one of the first places they'd be looking."

"W-what does that mean?" Katherine asked fearfully, stood in the car doorway and looking cautiously up at Bucky as he towered over her.

His jaw clenched tightly and he didn't reply, simply giving her a firm push to get her into the car and stalking around to the drivers side, getting in and slamming the door behind him with unnecessary force. He viciously twisted one of the wires hanging beneath the steering wheel to start the car and thundered back out onto the road. He seemed tense and angry, his eyes constantly darting to check the rearview mirror and driving as fast as he could without causing suspicion, weaving his way between the traffic expertly.

It was less than thirty minutes later that the first police car appeared in the rearview mirror; it hung several cars back, seemingly waiting for something. "We're being followed," Bucky said grimly, his whole body tense.

Katherine looked in the mirror as well. "It's the police," she said hesitantly, not sounding entirely convinced of this herself, not after discovering that Nazi's had iniltrated the highest levels of government intelligence agencies.

"I assure you, it's not," he said, his tone foreboding. He then turned to look at her as he drove, something that looked like regret abruptly replacing the anger in his light eyes, making them appear more blue than grey. "I'm sorry," he added simply in a soft voice, much to her confusion.

She blinked at him, neither expecting nor understanding this apology. "For what?"

"They will have seen the footage of you with me at the gas station, you're marked," he said ominously, jerking the steering wheel to take the next exit - the police car followed at a slight distance.

"What does that mean?" she wanted to know, staring at him.

Bucky, however, did not reply.

The police car was joined by two others, gradually gaining on them; he seemed to be purposefully heading to more deserted country roads in an attempt to avoid innocent bystanders being hurt in what looked like an inevitable confrontation.

"Get down into the footwell, as small as you can," he ordered her once the police cars were right behind them; she unclipped her seatbelt and scrambled to do as he said. Meanwhile, he one handedly reached into the back seat and pulled out a gun from one of the black bags, clicking off the safety as he handed it down to her. She fumbled with it, never having held a gun in her life before. "Anyone comes through that door that isn't me, shoot them," he said simply, pulling out and deftly loading a much larger gun of his own with one hand still on the wheel.

And with that, he suddenly pulled on the handbrake and jerked the wheel, sending the car skidding at speed and turning so that it was sideways on - putting her on the furthest side from the attackers.

She heard the squeal of the breaks on the police cars and suddenly gunfire was raging all around them. She squeaked in fear as she curled up into a ball in the footwell, not having the courage to watch what was going on.

An explosion rang out, deafening her, and she instinctively looked up - Bucky had done something that had caused one of the police cars to be tossed on its side, it's windows shattered and flames licking all over it's length.

More gunshots boomed and the car shook as bullets plugged the sides of it; Katherine screamed as glass shattered above her and ducked back down, curling up as tight as she could.

Suddenly there was silence, followed by a last frantic burst of gunfire that was abruptly cut off, then silence once more for several painfully long heartbeats.

The passenger door was ripped open and Katherine wildly pointed the gun she had been given up towards it - she was met with Bucky looming over her. He plucked the gun from her nerveless fingers and hauled her roughly out of the bullet-ridden car.

"Move," he growled, his voice terse and pained.

"You're hurt -" Katherine started to say, noting the circular bloodstains that looked suspiciously like they might have been caused by bullets that dotted his clothing.

"We'll deal with that later, right now we need to find a new car," Bucky said dismissively, opening the door to the back seat to grab their bags. He looped her messenger bag containing her computer diagonally over her uninjured shoulder and picked up the other two black Hydra bags before grabbing her elbow to drag her along. She caught a glimpse of the burning police car, the other cars riddled with bullets, and several corpses of men in uniform scattered around the road. Bile rose in her throat, but Bucky kept a firm grip on her, propelling her over to the side of the road.

They ran into the trees and jogged for well over a mile; Katherine found herself exceedingly glad for the gym membership she had taken out, able to keep pace fairly easily despite her panting breaths.

After running for several minutes, they came to a secluded house that had a dark blue toyota parked out front. Bucky told her to wait in the bushes, leaving her with the bags while he crept towards the house. She watched as he twisted the doorknob until it broke and then slipped inside the house. Moments later, he emerged with a set of keys in his hands.

He jerked his head towards her and she jogged to join him at the car, bringing the bags with her. He was clearly in pain, if the numerous bloodstains, sweat on his forehead and slightly laboured breathing was any indication.

"I can drive," she offered hesitantly, wondering when exactly she had gone from being terrified of her kidnapper to actively helping him - probably somewhere around the time that she had found out he was fleeing a rogue Nazi organisation that had somehow erased his memories and he'd shot a man to save her life.

He looked at her briefly, seemingly questioning her motives, and then nodded before handing her the keys; she was rather surprised that he apparently trusted her enough for this.

Seconds later, they were in the car and speeding off down the driveway with a spray of gravel to rejoin the main road.

Bucky tilted his head back against the passenger seat, his breathing coming faintly laboured as he looked up at the roof of the car. He then turned his head to look at her, his eyes glassy. "Whatever happens, don't go to a hospital," he told her, clearly in pain. "As long as I'm still breathing, you keep driving. Understand?" he asked in a tone that brooked no argument, despite how weak he sounded.

Katherine nodded shakily, still trying to figure out driving on the other side of the road than she was used to.

"Good girl," Bucky rumbled, then closed his eyes and apparently passed out right there on the front seat.

Not knowing where they were supposed to be going, she simply drove. She rejoined the interstate and sat in the fast lane, wanting to put as much distance between them and the Hydra attack as she could. From the road signs, she was able to deduce that they were somewhere in Iowa, heading up to Minnesota.

She drove in absolute silence for few hours, the car thankfully having a nearly full tank when they'd stolen it, while Bucky lay disturbingly still on the front seat beside her. His only movement was the faint rise and fall of his chest with shallow breaths. The bloodstains that she strongly suspected had been caused by bullets didn't get any bigger, so he didn't seem to be in any danger of bleeding out.

Eventually, just as night was falling, he stirred slightly; he opened his eyes and looked at her, his expression eerily blank. "Я готов отвечать," he said in a low rasp, speaking in Russian and making her jump since she hadn't realised he was awake.

Katherine glanced warily at him as she drove. "I … I don't speak Russian, Bucky" she said hesitantly, unsure of what to make of this new development.

There was a pause, and then he frowned at her, his head still resting against the back of the seat. " … Katya?" he said, barely audible.

She shot another look his way at this Russian version of her name, grateful that the road wasn't busy and so she didn't need to keep her eyes on it constantly. Before she could question this new moniker, Bucky shook his head slowly as if to clear it and pulled himself up with a faint grimace of pain so that he was sitting up straight. "Where are we?" he asked in a gravelly voice, sounding like he was surfacing from being underwater.

"Close to Bemidji," she replied, having been reading the road signs. She glanced cautiously at him again, noting that he still looked pale and sweaty in the headlights of passing cars. "How do you feel?"

He didn't answer her question, groaning slightly as he touched one of the injuries on his torso. "Find us somewhere to stop," he commanded instead of replying to her, looking in the mirror to check if they were being followed.

After a dozen or so miles she passed signs for another motel. She slowed down as she approached the junction, glancing at Bucky; he nodded his approval and she pulled off the road and into the car park of the motel, which looked only slightly less grimy than the one they had stopped in earlier that morning - she was starting to suspect that all motels on the American interstate were somewhat dodgy.

"I'll be back in a second," she said to Bucky once she had parked the car, unclipping her seatbelt and moving to open the drivers door.

He immediately seized her wrist in his gloved metal hand once more, stopping her and giving her a deeply suspicious look.

"I'm just going to get us a room," she explained in a hopefully calming voice; still, he didn't let go of her and so she elaborated. "You can't go in, Bucky. You're covered in blood, they'll call the police," she told him softly, pointing out the obvious; he looked down at himself, seemingly realising this for the first time.

Slowly, one finger at a time, he released her wrist and reluctantly nodded his head.

She took the wad of money that she still had from the services and headed out of the car, aware of his eyes drilling into her back as she crossed the dark car park. The motel reception was just as grimy as its exterior. A balding, overweight, middle aged man sat behind the glass, smoking a cigarette and leafing through what was clearly a pornagraphic magazine. His watery gaze flicked up to her and then indolently ran its way up and down her body. "What can I do for you, baby?" he asked suggestively, closing the magazine so that the cover picture of a topless woman with a plastic smile was facing up.

"I want a room, two people," she said simply, keeping her head down and purposefully avoiding eye contact with the man.

"You want the hourly rate, or are you here for the night?" the man asked with a waggle of his eyebrows - this was a sleazy place, he obviously thought she was there for some kind of clandestine meeting.

"For the night," she replied coldly, still not looking at him.

He rang it up and she gave him the cash, taking the room key. "You have fun now," he called lasciviously after her as she headed out of the reception, snickering to himself and opening his magazine once more.

Bucky was waiting for her by the car, the bags ready by his feet. He glanced at the number on the roomkey and grasped her elbow once more. "Come on," he said, guiding her across the car park - clearly he had some kind of need to be in control of a situation, if the way he kept physically moving her about was any indication.

Once they were in the room, which was much the same as the last one, he locked the door and closed the curtains. He then rummaged one of the black bags and pulled out what looked like a first aid kit before closing himself in the bathroom without a word.

Katherine, meanwhile, got out her laptop once more and plugged it in to charge. She checked on the progress of the decryption, but was unsurprised that nothing had come up yet.

Sitting down at her computer, she opened one of the packs of sandwiches she'd bought back at the services and took a big bite, savouring it since it was the first food she's eaten all day. The sandwich was demolished in minutes and she opened one of the bottles of water to wash it down.

The bathroom door opened. She glanced up and immediately froze with the bottle halfway to her mouth, her lips parted as she stared.

Bucky was standing in the doorway, his broad shoulders taking up almost the entire width of the doorframe; he was shirtless and wearing only his dirty jeans that were slung low on his narrow hips. Despite his sculpted, muscled physique and two bloody injuries marring his torso - one high on his left collarbone, near where metal met skin, and one on the bicep of his flesh arm - it was the metal limb that caught her attention, fully revealed to her for the first time.

The arm was shiny chrome, made up of strips of interlocking plates that travelled all the way up and over his shoulder, metal meeting flesh with a ridge of red scar tissue. The size and shape of it mirrored the muscles on his flesh arm and there was a single, red star emblazoned on his metal bicep.

"I need you to dig some bullets out," Bucky told her bluntly, still standing in the bathroom doorway, a small set of tweezers held loosely at his side.

"I-I don't know how …" Katherine started to say, but was cut off as he simply held the tweezers out to her - clearly she had no choice in the matter.

Wordlessly, she put the water bottle down, got up and followed him back into the small bathroom. He'd run a shallow sink of water that was stained pink with blood, the twisted remains of two bullets already in the water, evidently from the wounds on his torso and arm. He sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, his back to her. She could see that there were three more bullet holes, another one high on his right shoulder, one below his metal left arm and another down near his waist.

 _How the hell was he walking around after having been shot so many times?_ she wondered bewilderedly, not having realised how badly he'd been injured since he'd still been up and running.

Hesitantly, she placed her hand on his flesh shoulder to brace herself as she bent down to examine the bullet wounds. He shuddered slightly at the touch, then seemed to force himself to stay still with great effort. The bare skin of his shoulder felt like a furnace beneath her hand and the blood around the wounds was dried and crusted.

There was a long silence as she carefully used the tweezers to dig around in the bullet wound on his shoulder, trying not to feel squeamish as a fresh trickle of blood ran down his back towards the waistline of his jeans as a result. "How … how did you lose your arm?" she eventually worked up the courage to ask, her eyes continually darting to the metal limb right in front of her.

For a long moment she thought he wasn't going reply, then he slowly started to speak. "I remember falling, I don't know where from though," he said, his voice curiously blank. He took in a deep, shuddering breath as she managed to get the bullet she was digging for and then exhaled it. "It was a long drop."

"That would have been when you were presumed dead," Katherine said, dropping the bullet into the sink of shallow water and kneeling down to move on to the second bullet beneath his metal arm. "The exhibit said you fell from a train."

Another brief silence, during which she cautiously moved the hand from his shoulder down to brace herself on his flesh arm instead, feeling his firm muscles beneath her fingers. "And the metal arm?" she wanted to know, morbidly curious.

Bucky hesitated before he spoke. "I remember I woke up in the middle of the procedure, killing one of the surgeons," he said very quietly, staring at the bathroom wall. "They often did work on it, making improvements." He shrugged slightly. "I was never lucid enough to take an interest."

"When you say lucid enough …" Katherine said slowly, thinking back to how he had been sweating with dilated pupils when he had taken her from the museum "When we met I thought you seemed like you were in the middle of some kind of come down."

He nodded, confirming this. "I was constantly hooked up to something," he said blankly, like he was giving a report without sounding particularly interested. "I don't know what it was they were giving me, probably mood suppressors, things to keep me compliant …" He shrugged slightly once more and her attention was caught by the way the metal plates of his arm shifted at the movement. "After the helicarriers in DC, when I didn't return to my handlers, I spent several days sweating, shaking and wretching in back alleyways and abandoned buildings as the drugs wore off. And all the while the memories …" he trailed off, his dull gaze fixed on the ceramic white tiles opposite though she had the distinct impression that he wasn't actually looking at them.

Katherine chewed her lip briefly, finally manage to dislodge the second bullet, which she dropped into the sink as well. "What do you remember?"

"Pain …" he said in a dull, grim voice, still staring at the wall with a vacant expression. "Cold …"

"But what … what about from before?" she wanted to know, wondering if he remembered anything from WWII - surely he had _some_ memories, no matter what Hydra had done to him.

"The man …" Bucky said slowly as she knelt down on the tiled floor and used the tweezers to dig around for the final bullet " _Steve_ , Captain America ... said that I was his friend. The museum said that I was a Sergeant, a hero, but I don't … ." He trailed off as she got the final bullet, dropping it in the sink with the others.

She grabbed some of the gauze and rubbing alcohol that he had left out ready and started disinfecting the wounds. The wounds were surprisingly small, as if they were already closing up; she doubted they would even need bandaging once they were disinfected, the small trickles of blood that had come out with her digging around stopping almost instantly. She wondered why that was, but decided that considering the man before her was actually well over _ninety_ and that they lived in a world of super soldiers, gods and hulks, she wasn't going to question it too closely.

"I _feel_ that it's true, the evidence is there and it makes sense, like puzzle pieces, but I just don't … _remember_ ," he continued, sounding helpless and frustrated, his blank gaze fixed on the tiles as he shook his head slightly, appearing completely lost. "None of it."

"Do you remember anything from the 1940s?" she asked softly up at him, thinking that it was terribly sad that he didn't seem to have any memories at all. "Little things?"

Bucky shifted so that he was suddenly looking down at her properly, his previously-vacant gaze abruptly focusing and making her blink up at him. He stared intently into her face, a crease between his eyes, looking like he was thinking hard; there was a long silence and then he frowned slightly. "Women had curled hair …" he said eventually. "And they wore red lipstick."

"Well that's something," she said encouragingly, looking up at him and sitting back on here heels as she wadded up the used gauze in her hand. "You're all done," she added, giving him a small smile.

Bucky nodded his thanks to her and stood up, reaching for his shirt and pulling it over his head with nary a wince of pain, his muscles flexing as he did so. "Let's go," he said simply, nodding towards the door.

Katherine blinked at him, getting to her feet. "We're leaving already?" she asked, rather surprised by this.

"I want to get as far away from here as possible," he replied, gathering up the twisted bullets from the sink and draining the water.

"Huh," she said quietly, thinking to herself that she really should have rented the room by the hour. She followed him from the bathroom and watched him gather their things from where she had left them in the small motel room. "Are we driving through the night?" she asked, since it was already well into the evening and darkness had long since fallen.

He nodded, getting started on wiping down the room to avoid leaving fingerprints. "You can get some sleep in the car."

"What about you?" she asked, grasping her elbows as she looked at him with her head slightly tilted. She was worried about him - less than an hour ago he had been passed out in the front seat of the car and riddled with bullet holes, now he was walking around as if nothing had happened. "Are you alright to drive?"

"I'm fine," he replied brusquely, dismissing her concern without even looking at her.

She sighed in exasperation. "If you're not going to rest then you should at least eat something," she said in a concerned voice, crossing the room and picking up the food she'd bought him from the services. "I - I got you these when we stopped," she said as she held out the sandwiches and nuts, growing suddenly hesitant about her offering when he simply stared at her. "You didn't eat anything last night, so I thought these would be easier on your stomach."

He stepped closer and took the offered food slowly, warily; he stared down at it for a long moment, then raised his gaze to her face, seemingly searching for some hidden motive. "Thank you," he said eventually, still sounding slightly bewildered and unsure. He opened one of the packs of sandwiches and then paused, looking up at her once more. "Have you eaten?" he wanted to know.

Katherine gave him a small smile at his concern. "I ate while you were in the bathroom," she explained, also passing him a bottle of water that he took with a nod. She watched as he ate and noted with satisfaction that this food didn't seem to aggravate his stomach, that he was able to keep it down without vomiting again.

Several minutes later Bucky had finished eating, the room was wiped down and their bags were all stowed in the car. Once again, they left the roomkey in the room instead of going back to the reception and soon they were back on the interstate, driving in the darkness.

After a long silence, Katherine turned to look at him and said something that she had been thinking about since before the Hydra attack. "You said back there that I was marked," she reminded him, referring to how he had apologised to her as they had left the petrol station.

He glanced briefly at her, his hands clenching on the wheel. "They'll have seen the footage of us together at the truck stop, of me helping you. They'll have run facial recognition scans by now, they'll have every piece of information there is to have on you," he explained simply.

"W-what does that mean?" she wanted to know, fear at what the Nazi organisation had on her making her stomach clench.

Bucky's face was largely in shadow, lit only with the headlights of passing cars as he kept his gaze fixed on the road, though she could see that his expression was grim. "It means that the safest place for you is now with me."

* * *

 **Not long now until Infinity War …**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies!**


	3. Across the border

Katherine stirred in the front seat of the car and blinked herself slowly awake. She sat up straight, Bucky's musty smelling jacket falling off her torso and into her lap as she did so - strange since she was certain she'd put it in the back with the bags and didn't remember covering herself with it. The heating had been turned on and was blasting from the vents in the car, making the small space warm and cosy. Looking out of the window, she saw that they were no longer on the interstate, instead driving on a smaller road through beautiful countryside.

"Where are we?" she asked Bucky with a small yawn, looking curiously out at the passing landscape through the window; the sun was just rising, turning the sky a multitude of of pastel purples and pinks in the morning light.

"Canada," he said simply as he drove, his gaze on the road - he looked even more tired than before, she noticed, with dark shadows that looked like bruises under his eyes and heavy lines near his mouth. "You've been out for about five hours."

" _Canada_?" she repeated incredulously, looking around her once more with no small amount of surprise and noting a Canadian flag on the bumper of a truck going the other direction. "How on earth did you get across the border?"

Bucky looked at her and raised a single eyebrow ever so slightly beneath the brim of his cap. "You really want to know?" he asked, sounding … well, still grim and intense, but possibly the most light hearted she had yet heard him speak.

"You know, I'm not actually sure I do," she replied honestly, wondering how it had been possible for them to cross the border, knowing it was highly illegal, or why he now seemed marginally more relaxed than he had before. "Do you know where we are going?" she added, since so far it seemed as if they had been driving fairly randomly.

He reached into his pocket as he drove and handed her a colourful, folded leaflet. She unfolded it curiously and saw that it was on Canadian cabin holidays, the cover containing a photograph of a picture-perfect, charming, rustic wooden cabin framed by Alpine woods and mountains. "Picked it up in one of the gas stations we stopped at while you were sleeping," he said plainly, his eyes on the road once more. "Many of them will be empty this time of year."

Katherine folded the leaflet and put it in her lap, turning to gaze out at the beautiful countryside once more. Canada had been on her itinerary of places to visit during her sabbatical, largely for the beautiful scenery; strange that her path had now led her here anyway, in a way she never would have expected. "I always wanted to go to Canada," she said softly to herself, vaguely aware of Bucky turning his head at that comment to silently look at her as he drove.

* * *

They drove for an entire day, heading deeper into Canada and stopping only to refuel the stolen car, with Katherine buying more gas station food for them to eat on the go. They paid in cash to avoid leaving a trail; Bucky had planned ahead and stolen a large quantity of Canadian dollars as well as American ones from the Hydra safe house in New York, which had been very well stocked with money and weapons. He was feeling slightly less on edge now after having secretly crossed the border, knowing that their trail was getting harder and harder for anyone to follow. Additionally, there were fewer Hydra bases in Canada and so any response team sent after them if they were caught on camera again would take far longer to reach them, which would allow them opportunity to get away.

And, apparently, Katherine had always wanted to go to Canada; a small part of her must have been happy then, he supposed, despite the less than ideal circumstances she found herself in.

It was strange, but she no longer seemed to be particularly fearful of him. When he had first taken her from the museum she had trembled in panic, her breathing bordering on hyperventilating as she'd away from him as far as the car would allow, with even her elevated heart rate just audible to him with his enhanced hearing.

Now, however, she was calm and quiet. She had her laptop balanced on her knees, plugged into the cigarette lighter with a new cable that she had bought yesterday, and she busied herself with typing on the keyboard, working on her code and occasionally looking up to glance at the changing scenery as they drove.

He hadn't had a particular plan for her when he had taken her from the museum in DC, thinking only that he couldn't leave her to tell others where he had been. As they had driven to the Hydra safehouse he had decided that he could use her to establish some false leads - he'd planned to go to Grand Central Station in New York and buy several tickets in different directions before simply leaving her there, letting her see him heading towards a train. She would then no doubt go to the authorities and they would hopefully follow false leads while he slipped away, stole another car and drove North.

That plan had halted in its tracks though the moment she had mentioned the leaked Hydra and SHIELD files; he realised that he needed her to access and decrypt them for him.

Even now though, he was still thinking about letting her go - from comments that she had made he'd deduced that the decryption program that she had set up was now running without her doing anything and so he was contemplating simply stealing her laptop and going off on his own.

The complication in that plan was that the cameras at the gas station back in America had captured their faces; Bucky seen her being held by the wrist by a large, grimy trucker and had acted on some long forgotten instinct to help a woman in distress when he'd intervened.

And in doing so he had sealed her fate - the cameras had seen them together, Hydra would have her marked as an associate of his and it was now his responsibility to keep her safe.

"Do you want me to drive?" Katherine asked casually later that afternoon when they had stopped at another gas station. He shook his head in response and handed her the cap that he had just bought her to help her keep her face hidden, one emblazoned with a maple leaf. He then automatically opened the car door for her, the chivalrous gesture obviously surprising her almost as much as it surprised him.

She was looking curiously at him as he walked around the car and climbed in himself, the new cap already on her head with her long dark dark hair spilling out from beneath it. Reading her curious look, he decided to elaborate on his answer to her question beyond a head shake; it seemed that the art of conversation was gradually coming back to him. "I don't remember ever being this … lazy," he admitted as he started the engine once more, heading on to the road again. "The monotony of driving is pleasant."

And it was - it gave him a chance to think, to plan, an occupation for his body while his mind moved at rapid-fire pace. He was getting flashes of memory more and more regularly now without having to painfully strain his mind in an attempt to grasp them and suspected that more memories would follow the longer he was away from Hydra, with their drugs and their damned machines. The memories were nothing major, nothing about Steve, the Howling Commandos or even the man Bucky Barnes had once been; rather they were small things, things that he would never have even thought of as the soldier - a feeling of absolute indignation that a chocolate bar apparently cost _over a dollar_ and holding a door open for a woman.

He also found that he enjoyed her company on the drive - how she pointed out parts of the landscape to him, commenting on their beauty, how she would hum thoughtfully as she worked, how her fingers would tap with lightning speed on the keyboard and how she would tuck one particular lock of hair back behind her ear, only for it to fall forwards once more a few minutes later.

The only interactions he could remember were with the Hydra doctors, scientists or strike teams he worked with - and she was so very, very different to all of them.

He had thought that she was one of his handlers for a long moment when he had first regained consciousness after passing out in the front seat of the car the previous day, but she had looked at him with concern and called him by name when she spoke, the word _Bucky_ piercing through the fog that had clouded his brain and making him remember that he was no longer with Hydra.

And she had helped him, not only with the bullets the night before; she had bought him water and food that he could actually stomach, sandwiches and nuts, from the first gas station they had stopped at. There was no reason why she would have done that beyond simple kindness and kindness was not something that he was accustomed to - truly, she didn't deserve to be mixed up in all of this.

They stopped that night in another motel, this one rather nicer than the others they had been to so far. Bucky would have preferred to keep driving through the night, feeling more comfortable and safer on the move, but recognised that exhaustion was well and truly catching up with him. The hour or two he had been unconscious and bleeding in the front seat of the car after Hydra had tracked them from the gas station was hardly adequate. He hadn't slept in nearly a week now, not having slept at all whilst in DC in fear of being found by Hydra or SHIELD, and he thought that they had covered enough distance to be safe for a few hours.

Katherine used the bathroom first while he checked and secured the room, showering once more and eventually emerging fully dressed aside from her bare feet with loose, dripping hair.

Bucky went in the bathroom after, stripping down and stepping into the small shower cubicle. He ran his hands over the injuries on his torso, noting that they had already nearly closed before he turned on the shower. He sighed as the hot water ran over his shoulders and turned the heat up higher, savouring the warmth. He had vague memories of washing after missions as the soldier, but that was had always been in painfully icy jets of water, not this scalding warmth that seemed determined to burn away the intense feeling of being cold that still lingered deep within him even now.

He stayed in the shower for only a few minutes before regretfully turning off the water; he would have liked to stay in longer, but knew that they would be vulnerable if they were attacked now. He roughly dried his long hair with a towel and dressed in the same clothes, absently noting that they would have to get more clothing soon since what he wore was bloodstained and starting to smell; he'd already burned the shirt Katherine had originally been wearing after it had been coated in blood, leaving her in a men's black shirt instead that was far too large for her.

Katherine was sat at her computer, picking at some food they had bought from the last gas station while she worked. He crossed to check the curtains and the door once more, wanting to make sure the room was secure as it could be before he slept.

"You should get some rest," Katherine said, echoing his previous thoughts. She was blinking up at him from behind the black-framed glasses that she only wore when she was working, the lenses making her hazel eyes look even bigger. She had a look of mild concern on her face, another thing that he was not used to, and her head was tilted ever so slightly to the side. "Since the Smithsonian all you've had is an hour or two while unconscious and bleeding. I'm just going to do some work on my code, so you may as well take the bed," she said with a faint shrug.

He was glad to hear that she intended to stay awake for a while; he could catch an hour or twos rest, trusting her not to run away and to wake him if anything happened. "Wake me in a few hours so you can sleep," he told her by way of agreement and she nodded in response.

Bucky headed to the double bed that dominated most of the small motel room. He lay down fully dressed on one side, above the covers, and forced himself to close his eyes, breathe deeply and try to empty his mind. The bed was far softer and more comfortable than he was used to, previously having slept on a hard, narrow cot in a cell in the times he had been awake between missions. In contrast, this felt like laying on a cloud and he had the uncomfortable sensation that he was going to fall right through.

His body, however, was exhausted enough to sleep despite the feeling of floating and he quickly slipped into dark oblivion to the soothing sound of fingers tapping on a keyboard.

After a while, the sense of being cold to his very core gradually crept up on him, locking his muscles and making him shake. He couldn't breath, hadn't taken a breath in _so long,_ and now he was gasping as air filled his frozen lungs once more. Then came the voice, the words that he dreaded even as the soldier.

" _Желание_ …"

* * *

Katherine sat at the small table in the hotel room, a half drunk cup of tea that she had made from the room facilities at her side. She was alternating between typing lines of code into her laptop and watching the sleeping man on the other side of the room, quietly fascinated by watching him sleep.

He was lying almost completely still on his back, his only movements being his chest rising and falling with his slow breathes in and out. He was rather interesting as he slept, his face easily the most relaxed that she had seen it so far and not half hidden by his cap. At leisure to look at him, she curiously trailed her gaze over his features; his long, dark hair was drying into uncombed tangles around his face, his jaw was chiseled and lined with thick stubble, his straight brows were ever so slightly furrowed even in sleep and his mouth was turned down at the corners.

Katherine was contemplating waking him soon, since he had asked to be woken and she wanted to go to sleep herself, but she also wanted to let him sleep for just a bit longer since he seemed so exhausted. It was a little before midnight and he'd been asleep for about two hours when all of a sudden his head thrashed to one side.

She looked up swiftly from her computer as he thrashed again, noting that he was now laying with locked, rigid limbs instead of relaxed, almost unnatural stillness. She worriedly bit her lip, thinking that he must be having a nightmare of some sort, and his thrashing turned to great, gasping breaths, as if he had been starved of air and only just allowed to breath. She hesitated, wondering if she should wake him - then her decision was abruptly made for her when he started screaming, positively _roaring_ , in what sounded like terrible pain, his hands clenched into fists in the sheets and his whole body rigid and arching from the bed.

Without thinking, she ran to the bed and quickly grabbed both of his shoulders to shake him, thinking to wake him before his loud nightmare drew unwanted attention to them since the walls of the motel room were no doubt very thin. "Hey, hey wake up -"

He exploded into movement and in a lightning flash she found herself slammed down to the floor of the motel room beside the bed. Quicker than she could even comprehend, both her wrists were ruthlessly pinned to the floor above her head with his metal hand, making her aching shoulder explode in pain once more, and a knife was pressed into the sensitive skin of her throat.

She felt a sharp, painful pinch at the skin there and forced herself to stay very still.

Bucky was straddling her hips, holding a knife that he had pulled from God knows where to her throat. He was staring down at her for several long seconds with frighteningly blank, dark eyes, as if he wasn't truly seeing her, his chest still heaving with each breath.

"B-Bucky?" she whispered softly when he showed no sign of releasing her, hoping to rouse him from this state.

He blinked twice at the sound of his name and his eyes seemed to clear. He abruptly dropped the knife from nerveless fingers and scrambled off her, looking absolutely horrified at what he'd done. He backed all the way to the wall on the other side of the room and slumped against it, his wide, wild eyes fixed on her.

Free of his restraining weight, she sat up slowly and touched her viciously stinging throat; her violently shaking fingers came away red and bloody.

" _Katya_ …" Bucky rasped at her, his expression tortured.

"It's …"

The word _fine_ stuck in her throat - it was absolutely _not_ fine, he could have killed her easily.

But it still wasn't his fault, not completely - she had no idea what his nightmare had been about, but considering he had somehow been brainwashed into being a Nazi assassin and that he had been absolutely screaming in pain, she was willing to bet that it was horrific. He'd been in the midst of that nightmare when she had foolishly woken him, really it was no wonder he had reacted the way he had - they were both at fault in her eyes.

There was a long, tense silence between them as she sat on the floor, still staring down at her blood covered fingers, then Bucky wearily got to his feet. Raising her gaze, Katherine watched him move around the room and retrieve the first aid kit from one of the bags.

He approached her slowly, cautiously, as one might approach a spooked animal; she stared up at him, once again feeling strangely detached from the situation. He carefully reached down and, when she didn't flinch back, lifted her up easily with his hands beneath her armpits once more to sit her down on the edge of the bed. Bucky knelt down on the floor in front of her to tend to the injury he'd caused, using his metal fingers to gently tilt her chin upwards so that he could get a better look at it. It didn't feel deep, but it was stinging fiercely and she could feel a warm ribbon of blood trickling down her collarbone.

The silence continued as he painstakingly cleaned, disinfected and then dressed the wound, his eyes fixed on her throat and his hands surprisingly gentle. Finished with her throat, he then took her hand and carefully wiped the blood from her trembling fingers. Katherine took slow, deep breaths and looked down into his face as he worked noting that his brow was deeply furrowed, with lines of obvious regret and reproach around his mouth.

His work done, he sat back on his heels and finally raised his gaze to meet her eyes once more. Their gazes met and held for a long moment before he took a deep, shuddering breath. "I'm sorry," he said simply, still knelt before her, the regret evident in his tone.

"It … wasn't your fault," Katherine said quietly after a moments thought, shaking her head slightly at him; her voice still quavered, showing how terrified she'd been. "I shouldn't have woken you like that, it was stupid of me."

Bucky's eyes lowered to the bandage around her throat once more and lingered there for several long seconds. His jaw visibly clenched and his lips were pressed into a thin, white line. He abruptly stood, picking up the first aid kit and putting it back in the bag with sharp, jerking movements. He then braced both hands on the table where her computer sat, standing with his back to her.

There was silence again for several painfully long seconds. "Get some rest," he ordered eventually, his voice clipped; he was not looking at her, his metal arm conspicuous with his hands still braced on the wood.

Katherine bit her lip, letting it drag through her teeth. "You - you should probably sleep more too," she suggested softly, having seen how exhausted he was over the past few days; two hours was nowhere near enough to make up for the sleep he must have lost.

"No," he said firmly, still not looking at her.

She took a breath, looking at the tense, broad expanse of his back. "You only slept for about two hours or so, you need -"

" _No_ ," he said, his voice sharp and icy as he turned to glare fiercely at her, making her flinch back ever so slightly. His jaw clenched again, no doubt spotting that involuntary movement and feeling responsible for it. "I can't trust myself, I don't want to hurt you," he added in a softer, self-reproaching voice.

She looked at him, not sure what to say; he sighed and crossed the room to pick up the knife he had dropped on the floor, seemingly instinctively flipping it expertly between his fingers as he did so. He then sat down in the chair beside the curtained window, the knife still in his hands. He met her gaze once more, clearly thinking hard and looking visibly upset. "Sleep, Katya."

Warily, with her neck still stinging and her shoulder aching, she followed his orders and got into the bed fully clothed, slipping beneath the covers. She curled up on her side, facing the assassin on the other side of the room. She watched as he sat rigid and still, the only movement the knife that was still being flipped and spun between his fingers with easy, dangerous grace while he stared blankly at her computer, clearly lost in thought.

She knew that sleep would not come easily that night.

* * *

However she must have slept eventually since she was woken by Bucky very gently shaking her shoulder. "Katya ... Katherine," he said softly as she blinked up at him; she immediately noticed that he seemed marginally calmer now, the knife no doubt hidden about his person once more. She glanced around the room; it was still dark outside the curtains but the clock on the bedside table read 6:07 in the morning. The bags, including her computer, had already been packed and were ready to go by the door.

"We should leave soon," Bucky said in a gravelly voice, releasing her shoulder. She sat up in bed and raised a hand to her neck, touching the bandage there. "You'll want to change the dressing, the first aid kit is in the bathroom," he added quietly; he no longer seemed tense and watchful, but rather looked exhausted and resigned, his wintery eyes lingering on the bandage on her throat.

Katherine headed through to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror, noting her tangled hair, tired eyes and too-pale skin.

The white bandage on her throat was stained with a blossom of red seeping through the gauze. Carefully, she unwound it and tilted her head back to look at the cut on her throat for the first time - the cut was not particularly deep, nor was it long, possibly an inch and a half in length, but it stood out vividly against her pale skin. She touched it lightly, noting that it had already scabbed over.

As she did so, she noticed the faint shadow of bruises on both her wrists - they were indistinct in shape, but she knew that they were from Bucky's hands when he had pinned her to the floor after his nightmare.

She sighed deeply, hoping that the sleeves of his jacket would cover them since she didn't want to give him another reason to reproach himself, and rebandaged her neck. She then rolled her injured shoulder in its socket to try and relieve some of the aching pain, making a mental note to buy some kind of painkillers at the next services they stopped at. She could tell that Bucky was blaming himself for hurting her, but despite how frightened she had been she did not hold it against him; she should not have tried to wake him like that, in her mind they were both culpable and shared the blame.

Finished in the bathroom, she headed out into the bedroom once more. Within minutes the room was wiped down and Bucky gruffly insisted on carrying their bags to the car once more, including her own; they were on the road long before the sun had come up.

Silence reigned in the car between them as the sun rose on the Canadian countryside. Bucky was driving with his gloved hands clenched tightly on the steering wheel, tired and clearly on edge. Katherine wanted to say something, to tell him again that it wasn't his fault, but his tense jaw and exhausted look gave her the impression that nothing she said would convince him.

It was the middle of the morning when he finally broke the long silence, just after they had driven past a used car garage. "We need to change cars, this isn't going to be suitable for the mountain roads," he said tersely, glancing back at the garage in the mirror as he drove.

He pulled up at the side of the road about a mile or so away from the garage and gave her a long, inscrutable look before he eventually spoke. "I want to speak to you about what happened earlier," he said brusquely, the corners of his mouth pulled downwards as his eyes flicked briefly to the gauze on her throat.

"It wasn't your -"

"Do _not_ try to tell me it wasn't my fault, Katya," he interrupted sternly, biting out the words, and she immediately fell silent at his harsh, unyielding tone.

He took a deep breath before speaking again and she got the impression that he had been thinking hard about what he wanted to say while he was driving. "I wasn't lying when I said that you're marked. Hydra has seen your face and they will be looking for you ... I can keep you safe from them," he said seriously, his voice gravelly and his eyes fixed intently on her face as he spoke about the danger she was in. "... That said, I expect I'll be gone at least an hour getting another car." He abruptly tossed the car keys so that they landed haphazardly in her lap. "It's your choice whether or not you're still here when I get back," he concluded in a heavy voice, sounding resigned.

Katherine blinked at him several times, then looked down at the keys in confusion and tried to make sense of what he was saying; it almost sounded like he was … giving her an opportunity to leave.

Bucky got out of the car and grabbed both of the Hydra bags from the backseat, leaving her own messenger bag there. He gave her another lingering look, his grey-blue eyes unreadable beneath the brim of his cap, before turning around and walking down the road back towards the used car garage with the bags slung over his shoulder.

Her heart pounding, Katherine waited for several long minutes until he was out of sight in the mirror before shifting over to the driver's side and putting the key in the ignition.

She knew that she should leave - drive off, find a town and go to the police. They would help her; hell, she could probably be back home in England within twenty-four hours, leaving the metal armed assassin behind her forever. That would be the sensible, logical thing to do.

She bit her lip fiercely, her frozen fingers poised to turn the key and start the engine.

But still she hesitated - she couldn't help but feel the uttermost sympathy for the fallen WWII hero who had somehow become an assassin, losing his memories in the process. She could plainly see how lost he was in the wake of what had happened in DC. Despite him kidnapping her and even holding a knife to her throat, she still wanted to help him.

She groaned and rested her forehead on the steering wheel, thinking hard.

Then there was also the fact that Hydra had seen her face back at the truck stop and now knew her to be an associate of his; Bucky seemed to think she was genuinely in danger from them, and she was inclined to believe him given how quickly Hydra had managed to find them after their faces were caught on camera at the gas station. Would she be safe from them, even back in England?

She sighed deeply and tilted her head back against the driver's seat of the car, closing her eyes defeatedly - somehow, despite having been given the choice, she knew full well that she wasn't going anywhere.

 _I definitely have Stockholm Syndrome,_ she thought to herself with no small amount of bitterness as she opened her eyes and half-heartedly thumped the steering wheel with one fist _. Sympathising with my kidnapper - check; wanting to help them - check; not wanting to leave them despite being given the opportunity - check._

"Dammit," she muttered to herself as she slid back over to the passenger side, desperately hoping that she wouldn't regret this decision to stay with him. She tossed the car keys on to the driver's seat and turned on the radio for something to listen to.

After several long, lonely minutes of listening to the radio, Katherine reached into the back seat for her bag, intending to do some work on her code. She immediately noticed that her messenger bag was far too light and quickly wrenched it onto her lap to rifle through it. Sure enough, her computer bag complete with the external hard drive and charger was missing.

She let out a huff and shoved her bag down by her feet in abject annoyance. She was not exactly surprised that Bucky had stolen it, he'd probably long since realised that the decryption program she had set up was now running without her doing anything. He must have packed it into one of the Hydra bags before she had woken up, taking it in case she had decided to leave since he no doubt still wanted those files - he'd even insisted on carrying the bags from the motel that morning so that she didn't notice.

With nothing to do, she put her feet up on the dashboard and occupied herself by looking out at the beautiful scenery around her from beneath the brim of her cap. After a few minutes she wound down the window to appreciate the cold breeze and the sound of birds in the trees. They were in wooded countryside and the distant Canadian Rockies were just visible on the horizon.

It was perhaps half an hour later that a rusty red truck rumbled up the road behind her, alarming her when it started to slow down. She pulled her feet down from the dashboard and hunkered down in her seat, her cap low over her eyes. She cautiously watched it's approach in the mirror - only to sigh in relief when she saw it was Bucky driving.

He parked just behind her and got out of the car, approaching the passenger side where she sat; if he was surprised to see her still there, he gave no indication. He bent down to rest his forearms against the open window frame, looking in at her with an unreadable expression from beneath the brim of his cap. His eyes glanced towards the radio, which was still playing softly in the stolen car and jerked his chin slightly. "You like music?" he asked with a hint of a Brooklyn drawl breaking through, surprising her a little with the question.

"Yeah," she replied hesitantly, slightly thrown - in that moment she had seen the smallest flash of the charming man he likely was seventy years ago.

He tapped his gloved, metal fingers on the window ledge of the car, making a faint clicking, and nodded his head thoughtfully. "We can't just ditch this car here, it will be obvious where we got the replacement," he said musingly, then nodded his head towards the truck. "Follow me, drive close."

Katherine slid over to the driver's side once more and started the car, meanwhile Bucky returned to the truck he had bought and pulled around her so that he was leading. They drove in convoy for nearly two hours, only passing a dozen or so cars. They were heading closer and closer to the Rockies and the weather was starting to turn, grey clouds that looked like they might be laden with snow looming threateningly above them.

Eventually, shortly after midday, Bucky pulled up the truck just off the road in a deserted stretch of alpine forest; Katherine parked the stolen car just behind him and they both got out of their cars.

"I'll wipe down the car, we don't want to leave fingerprints," Bucky said, nodding towards the stolen car that she had been driving. He got to work while she moved her bag over to their new, though clearly second-hand, truck. It was a pick-up truck that had only a small front cabin, so the bags went on the seat beside her in the front. The Hydra bags were already there and she looked inside; sure enough, her laptop bag was in one of them tucked securely between guns, ammo, the first aid kit and numerous wads of cash.

 _Sneaky man,_ she thought to herself with a small amount of exasperation, shaking her head slightly.

She waited for Bucky to finish wiping down the car and then move it further into the trees so that it couldn't be seen from the road, busying herself by looking out at the forest around her. The scent of pine needles was heavy in the cold air and tiny flakes of snow were just beginning to fall on the frozen ground. She wrapped Bucky's jacket closer around herself for warmth, shaded her eyes and looked up; the high peaks of the Canadian Rockies were visible between the tall trees above them and she could just make out some kind of bird of prey drifting in lazy circles high in the clouds.

This was what she had wanted to see in deciding to travel across the America's, it was utterly beautiful.

"Katya," Bucky said softly, calling her attention away from the beautiful landscape. He was stood beside the pick-up truck, holding the passenger door open and waiting for her. Giving the scenery one last look, she tripped over to the new truck and got in beside the bags.

They headed down the road, leaving the stolen car hidden and abandoned in the woods behind them. She was surprised when Bucky reached over and flicked on the heating, followed by the radio, turning it down low so that it was soft background noise; she appreciated this, knowing he must have done it purely because she'd said she liked music. The station, however, was playing heavy metal, not to her liking. "May I?" she asked, reaching forward; he nodded and she changed the station, searching through until she found a station playing classic rock, which she thought would be more to his taste.

They drove wordlessly for several minutes, listening to the music, until Bucky broke the silence. "I gotta admit, I was surprised to find you still there when I came back," he said in a deceptively neutral tone, keeping his eyes fixed on the road. "I had thought you might have taken the car and gone."

"I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't cross my mind," she admitted honestly to him, purposefully keeping her tone light to match his.

He glanced at her as he drove. "Why didn't you?" he wanted to know, sounding genuinely curious.

Katherine shrugged slightly, not entirely sure how she could explain herself to him. "You said it yourself, the safest place for me is with you," she said, twisting her fingers in her lap and giving only part of the reason that she had decided to stay with him. She then gave him a mock glare, her brows drawn together over her eyes. "Then there's the fact that you _stole_ my laptop, there was no way I was leaving without that," she added sternly, conveying her displeasure at this.

One corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly as he drove, like the ghost of a smile. "I do still need those files," he pointed out to her, utterly unrepentant of his attempted theft.

"Well you wouldn't have gotten very far with it," she pointed out to him with no small amount of smug satisfaction, leaning back in the seat and casually crossing her legs as she smirked at him. "That laptop is password protected, you wouldn't even have been able to open it without me."

There was a brief pause, then Bucky snorted slightly at having been foiled thus. "Guess you're stuck with me until the files decrypt then," he said simply, still facing the road; he was nearly impossible to read, but she suspected he might just be glad of her continued presence.

"Guess so," she agreed quietly, giving him a small smile and suddenly, inexplicably, feeling rather shy.

There was another silence between them for several miles as they drove through alpine forest, then Katherine asked the question that she had been wondering about for some time. "I have a question for you," she said, looking at him as he glanced curiously at her. "Why do you call me Katya? Most people call me Kat or Kathy if they shorten my name."

Bucky blinked in surprise, as if he had only just realised what he had been calling her. "It's ... a Russian variant," he explained, a faint crease appearing between his brows as he thought about it. "Just … suits you, I suppose," he continued with a slight shrug, then glanced at her. "Do you mind?"

She shook her head; she would never admit it to anyone, but she rather liked the way his rough, rasping voice lilted over the pronunciation of the shortened name. _Stupid Stockholm Syndrome_ , she thought bitterly to herself. "Why a Russian variant though?" she wanted to know.

There was a pause, then he spoke. "I think in Russian," he told her, frowning slightly. "Sometimes," he added somewhat jerkily, a deep scowl pulling at his mouth. "When I'm … _him_."

"Him?" she repeated, blinking at him and thinking of what she had learned about him so far so that she could puzzle out his meaning. She had noticed how his moods seemed to oscillate wildly; at times he had been downright aggressive and dangerous, such as when he had first taken her from the museum, at other times pensive and thoughtful, sitting still and speaking quietly about his memories while she dug bullets out of his skin. "The … the soldier?"

He nodded, his frown lingering as he stared out at the road ahead. "It's … it's like I've got two different personalities in my head, talking in two different languages," he told her, a hint of frustration breaking through in his voice as he shifted gear with more force than was needed. "All I ever knew was the soldier, the mission, my orders ... but now there's someone else there too." He glanced at her, his gloved metal hand tight on the steering wheel while his flesh hand lingered on the gear stick between them. "James Barnes," he elaborated for her, then shook his head sharply before turning to face the road with a visibly pained expression. "I'm _trying_ to remember things about who he was - who _I_ am - but it _hurts_ -"

He abruptly cut himself off, pressing his lips together and looking unexpectedly vulnerable and haunted.

Acting on instinct, Katherine reached out and lightly squeezed his hand on the gear stick, wanting to provide some small reassurance. To her surprise, he turned his hand and briefly squeezed her fingers back, like he was grateful for the touch; it was his flesh hand, and even through the gloves she could feel its strength. He released her hand scant seconds later and returned his own to the steering wheel, but not before casting a quick, inscrutable look her way.

Recognising that he no longer wanted to talk about his past or memories, Katherine turned the radio up ever so slightly and settled back in her seat as they drove in companionable silence, heading deeper into the mountains of the Canadian Rockies.

* * *

 **Hoping to go see Infinity War this weekend …**

 **Leave a review my lovelies!**


	4. The cabin

The roads had turned mountainous by the middle of the afternoon and snow was falling in earnest, laying in great banks at the sides of the road. They drove through the occasional small town, the wipers on to clear the snow from the windscreen, but largely they were driving through snowy forests and ravines. Bucky seemed to be looking for something, his mouth set into a thin line and his eyes roving watchfully over the forest.

"What are you looking for?" Katherine asked after a while; he'd mentioned cabins yesterday, but she was wondering how on earth he knew where they were going or if he had a particular destination in mind.

"This area is full of cabins," he explained over the soft sound of the wipers and the radio that was still playing. "I'm looking for roads that look like they haven't been used recently, the more secluded the better."

It was only a few minutes later that he took a turning onto a road that was half hidden by trees and hadn't been cleared of snow, driving carefully through snow that was several inches deep; he'd been right to buy the new pick-up truck, their old stolen toyota would have struggled with these roads and weather conditions.

They drove along the isolated road, which was little more than a snowy, single lane track, for about twenty minutes before they eventually reached a small clearing that contained a secluded, lakeside cabin.

Katherine's lips parted as she stared at it in surprise. The wooden, single story cabin was picture perfect, made out of sawn logs with a peaked, snow-covered roof and a wrap around porch that was wreathed with icicles. The snow on the ground surrounding it was untouched aside from a few animal prints. The cabin was set right on the shores of the frozen lake and framed by alpine forest and high, rocky mountains.

"Stay here," Bucky said warningly, getting out of the truck and closing the door behind him, though he left the key in the ignition and engine running so that the heating was still blasting.

She watched as he headed cautiously towards the cabin, his gun poised and ready, no doubt intending to see if it was occupied - even she could tell that it wasn't though, if the uncleared road and snow drifted up against the door was any indication. He checked the windows, rubbing frost off them with his fist, and walked around the perimeter of the cabin before breaking the lock of the front door with a single twist of his metal hand. He vanished inside the cabin for a few minutes before emerging at the door once more and jerking his head for her to come and join him.

She got out of the truck, the falling snow dusting her clothing and her breath smoking in the freezing air as she got the bags out from the front seat. She wasn't dressed for the northern wilds of Canada in January, wearing just jeans, a man's black t-shirt and Bucky's jacket. She wondered vaguely what had happened to the coat she'd had back in DC, assuming it had been left behind somewhere.

Bucky met her half way between the truck and the cabin, taking the two Hydra bags from her. He led her inside and she looked around curiously, rubbing her chilled hands to warm them. It was dark and cold inside the cabin, with all of the furniture covered in dust sheets. "I'll get the generator going," Bucky muttered as he put the bags down and vanished back into the snow.

Katherine, meanwhile, took off a few of the dust sheets that covered an intricately carved dining table and a large sofa. The cabin's interior was rustic-chic and quaint, complete with a huge open fireplace that had a rolled up shag rug in front of it.

She heard a faint murmur as the generator started and a moment later Bucky appeared in the doorway again, stomping snow off his boots and flicking on the electric lights. He bent down to retrieve a large roll of cash and another gun from the Hydra bag by his feet. "You'll be safe here for a few hours, don't leave the cabin," he told her simply, tucking the gun into the waistband of his jeans as he straightened up.

"Where are you going?" she asked, quietly alarmed that he was apparently leaving her alone.

"To scout out the nearby towns and get us some supplies," he explained with a jerk of his chin, indicating the empty cabin. She nodded her understanding and he vanished back out of the door without a word; a moment later she heard the truck starting up again and him driving away.

Left alone, she looked briefly around the cabin, coming the the conclusion that it was an alpine retreat for its very wealthy owner. The living room, kitchen and dining area were all open plan and a single corridor led her to four other doors. Two of them revealed themselves to be an airing cupboard full of soft towels and linen, as well as a storage cupboard containing things like boots and buckets.

The third door led to a rather luxurious bathroom, with a walk in shower that was easily big enough for two and had several different shower-heads, the kind that sprayed from the sides or made a rain-effect from above. The last door led to the bedroom, which had a huge, king size bed with a carved wooden frame and another smaller fireplace. Katherine looked at the bed for a long moment, wondering how sleeping arrangements were going to work given what had happened last night, before shaking her head and deciding she would think about that later.

She plugged her laptop in to charge and hunted for an internet router, but eventually came to the conclusion that the cabin's owner intended this as a retreat from technology as well as society since there was nothing, not even a TV. Undeterred, she put on her easy-listening jazz playlist that didn't require the internet and busied herself by removing all of the dust sheets, cleaning the surfaces with the few cleaning supplies she'd found in the storage cupboard and changing the sheets on the bed to fresh ones from the airing cupboard. She then unrolled the shag rug and built a fire in both the living room and the bedroom, braving the snow outside to go and look for wood and thankfully finding a small store of pre-cut logs around the back of the cabin. It took her several minutes of gentle blowing, rearranging of logs and cursing under her breath, but she eventually had a merry blaze going.

After warming her chilled hands by the fire, she further explored the bathroom, finding a few toiletries in the cupboard, no doubt left behind by the owners; a pack of toothbrushes, a half used tube of toothpaste, a razor and basic soap. She said a quiet thank you to whatever deity might be listening at the find and spent a solid five minutes brushing her teeth, not having been able to do so for nearly three days now.

She then perused the cupboards in the kitchen. The fridge was empty, but she found a few staple foods that had a long shelf life, like cans of vegetables, tinned soup, jars of sauces and pasta. Realising that she had the ingredients for a basic very pasta bake, she turned on the oven and got started with cooking, not knowing when Bucky would be back or if food would be high among his priorities for supplies.

It wasn't long before she heard the sound of the truck outside, just as night was truly falling. Bucky appeared in the doorway, letting in a blast of cold air. He paused and looked around from the doorway with no small amount of surprise, no doubt taking in the smell of food and the soft jazz playing from the computer, his eyes moving slowly over the clean, bright cabin and the cheerfully blazing fire. "You lit a fire," he said eventually, a crease appearing between his brows.

Katherine blinked at him, not having expected that as a greeting. "Should I not have?" she asked from where she stood at the stove, slightly perplexed by his disapproval since it was freezing outside.

"Only after dark, that way people won't be able to see smoke from the chimney and investigate," he told her brusquely, still lingering uncertainty by the open door - his eyes were now fixed on her, a slightly peculiar look in them as he tilted his head ever so slightly to one side.

"Okay," she agreed, nodding her understanding before turning back to the stove. "There wasn't a whole lot in the cupboards, but I've managed to rustle up some food," she said easily, stirring the pasta sauce before it started to bubble. "Dinner in half an hour?"

He gave her a single nod, his eyes darting around the warm, clean cabin once more like he wasn't sure what to make of what he was seeing. "I'll unload the truck," he replied tersely, heading back out into the snow.

For the next few minutes he systematically let all of the heat out of the cabin by coming and going from the truck, ladening the table with more guns and ammo (she didn't even want to think how he might have acquired those), several knives, an axe, a torch, a lantern, matches, a tool kit and even fishing tackle. She was beginning to suspect that her thoughts about food not being a priority for him were accurate until he bought in bags containing more canned food, a wide variety of vegetables, meat, eggs, cheese, milk, tea, coffee, salt and pepper, enough food for at least two weeks. She grabbed the cheese and seasonings with glee to add to her pasta bake, pleased that she would be able to cook a decent meal tomorrow.

He returned from his final trip to the truck with several bags of what appeared to be clothes that he carried through to the bedroom. He didn't immediately return and, with the pasta bake cooking away in the oven, Katherine followed him to see what he was doing. She found him in the bedroom, hanging a small selection of men's clothes up in the empty wardrobe. She briefly wondered if neatly putting away the clothing was a lingering habit from his days in the army, but was distracted when he nodded to the three bags that were still on the bed. "Those are for you," he said simply, folding a pair of plain, black trousers.

Curious, she investigated the bags. In one bag she found snow boots, a thick black coat that had a faux-fur lined hood and a matching hat, scarf and gloves set in cream wool. The second bag revealed black jeans, two long sleeved t-shirts in white and navy blue and two thick jumpers, one grey and the other pale pink; she wondered briefly how he had known her sizes, but then assumed that he had either looked at the labels of her clothes or just guessed. None of the clothing was fancy, all basic and labelless that could be bought at outlet stores, but it would be a significant improvement on the large men's t-shirt and blood splattered jeans she had been wearing for the past few days.

It was the third bag, however, that caused a blush to rise up her cheeks. Alongside several pairs of thick, serviceable socks was three matching pairs of bras and knickers, one set white, one black and one deep, dark red. The bra sizes were wrong, but they were close enough that she would still be able to wear them fairly comfortably; her blush deepened, knowing that he must have guessed her size by eye. They weren't particularly risque, each of them having only a basic lace trim, but she still found the idea of him picking out and buying underwear for her strangely … intimate.

She picked up the final item in the bag with a confused look - cream coloured silk slid over hands like water as she shook it out and held it up.

"What's this?" she questioned with wide eyes, staring at what was quite clearly a silk nightie.

"Nightdress," Bucky replied with a grunt from where he stood at the wardrobe, not looking at her. She stared at his broad back, wondering why on earth he had bought her something so … _sexy_. It was long enough that the lace at the hem would reach almost to her calves, but she knew that the cut of the seams would make it hug her body. He must have sensed her gaze because he looked over his shoulder at her. "What?" he asked gruffly, frowning in obvious confusion at her bug-eyed expression.

"Nothing," she said quickly, shaking her head as she put the nightdress down on the bed, her hand instinctively stroking over the soft silk. She supposed that women would have worn things like this to bed back in the 1940s, which was no doubt why he had bought it, but it really wasn't the done thing any more; she was more a flannel trousers and t-shirt kind of girl. "Thank you," she added belatedly; aside from the nightdress, the rest of the clothes were fine and she appreciated the effort on his part.

He acknowledged her thanks with a silent nod, still frowning slightly, and focused on putting the last of his own clothing away.

Once she'd hung up her own clothing next to his and changed into one of the long-sleeved jumpers instead of the musty jacket she had still been wearing, they spent the next few minutes clearing the table of all of the supplies he'd bought, putting the food away in the kitchen and the other items into the storage cupboard. They then set the table ready for their dinner, the soft jazz music continuing to play from the laptop plugged in on the kitchen counter.

They sat down opposite each other and Katherine served up the pasta bake. It was very simple fare, but after several days of either mre food packets or sandwiches from gas stations it smelt divine.

Bucky eyed the set table and plate of food in front of him for a long moment before he eventually picked up his cutlery. He took a bite and chewed thoughtfully, then nodded his head. "This is very good," he told her simply, making her look up and blink in surprise at the highly unexpected compliment. He'd taken off his gloves now that he was inside, she noticed, holding his knife in his metal hand. "Really," he added, taking another bite, no doubt correctly reading her shocked expression.

"You think so?" she asked with a small grin creeping over her face, secretly pleased - she hadn't had much to work with ingredients wise, so she was glad that he liked it.

There was a pause, and then, "Quite possibly the best meal I've had in seventy years," he replied in a deadpan voice, taking another mouthful.

Katherine laughed slightly, still looking at him with wide eyes. "Was that a joke?" she wanted to know, amazed by how candidly he had just spoken despite the lack on inflection in his tone. "Did you just make a _joke_?"

Bucky looked slightly surprised by this himself and then gave a small shrug in lieu of a reply. His gaze was lowered to his plate almost self-consciously and she immediately felt bad for teasing him.

There was a brief silence between them as they ate dinner, broken by Katherine once more. "So I have a question …" she said, making him look curiously up from his plate to meet her eyes. "What do you expect me to do while we're here?"

"You said you were working on a … code?" he replied slowly; the question was evident in his voice, he clearly didn't understand what it was she was doing on her computer.

"Yeah," she replied, nodding her head. "It's supposed to be an unbreakable code, basically a shield for your computer, protecting it against threats. But more than that, it's designed to then attack and cripple the attacker in turn. In quantum cryptography you can't have a two party dialogue, which is essentially what a hack is, without disturbing the system, so the code I'm designing uses those now-open channels to send mutated versions of their own malware to disable them … " She trailed off, noticing the slightly blank look he was giving her. She gave him a small smile and shrugged, not really sure how to explain it in basic terms that he would understand. "It's going to take several weeks to work through all the kinks."

He nodded slightly, his gaze still fixed on her. "Is that something you can do from here?" he wanted to know, his knife and fork paused as he spoke to her.

Katherine nodded; there wasn't internet in the cabin, but the work she was doing was mostly input at this point and she had the necessary simulation programs saved on her hard drive to test her work. She had enough to do to keep her busy for two months at least. "What are you going to do?" she asked curiously, taking a mouthful of food.

Bucky looked thoughtful, his gaze slightly unfocused as he looked at the wall beyond her. "I thought … I might go fishing tomorrow," he said slowly, again seeming vaguely surprised by the words that came out of his mouth.

He wasn't the only one. "Fishing?" she repeated with mild incredulity, staring at him and unable to compute the image of the dangerous, metal armed assassin going _fishing_ in the Canadian mountains.

He nodded once and she suddenly felt bad for her surprise - she didn't know exactly what he had done in the seventy years since WWII, or even how he had lived that long and still appeared to be in his prime, for that matter, but she very much doubted it had included such relaxing pastimes as fishing.

"Right, fishing," she continued lightly, trying to sound supportive. "Try and catch us something for dinner tomorrow then, yeah?" she added, and was pleased to see his mouth twitch ever so slightly once again, hinting that he might, someday, in the distant future, actually be able to smile.

There was another companionable silence as they ate, both of them going for seconds. She noticed that he didn't seem to have any problem keeping food down now; he even helped himself to a small third portion, clearly having quite the appetite. They finished the meal and Katherine took both of their plates to the sink, quietly surprised when Bucky joined her and dried up the dishes, though she decided not to comment on it.

Once they had tidied up they passed the evening both quietly occupied with different things; Katherine was sat cross-legged in front of the fire on her laptop, savouring the warmth that washed over her, whereas Bucky was sat at the table once more. He had placed both Hydra bags on the table and unloaded the contents into piles, seemingly sorting through them.

"Katya," he said after a while, calling her over; she looked up, put her laptop to one side and came over to the table to see what he was doing. He had no less than seven guns of different sizes laid out on the table, six knives ranging from a small pocket knife to one the length of her hand and several stacks of notes in varying currencies. She blinked as she stared at the money, not having realised he'd been carrying that much; with the different currencies combined there had to be at least twenty thousand pounds here. "Here," he said, handing her two stacks of money, a combination of American and Canadian dollars, pounds and euros that probably amounted to over two thousand pounds in each hand. "Put one of these in your bag, hide the rest around the cabin, at least one in each room," he told her, nodding down to the remaining stacks on the table.

"Why?" she asked in faint confusion, staring down at the small fortune in her hands.

"Best not to have all of our resources in one place, that way if we need to make a quick getaway we should still be able to grab something before we go," he explained rationally, moving on to the guns that he had laid out on the table.

She nodded her understanding and got to work. Several minutes later stacks of money were hidden under the sink, in a saucepan, between two towels in the linen cupboard, in one of the shoes in the storage cupboard, in a vase in the living room, a drawer in the coffee table, the bathroom cabinet, the bedside table and in the wardrobe, as well as one in each of their three bags.

She returned to find Bucky in the middle of deftly taking apart, cleaning and reloading each of the guns. She sat back down on the shag rug and continued with her code, only glancing up an hour or so later when Bucky systematically started hiding guns and knives around the cabin as well, though she didn't doubt that he kept one or two on his person at all times.

With that done, he busied himself with the tool kit he'd bought, repairing the lock on the front door that he had broken and once more letting the heat out of the cabin as he worked. After that, he didn't seem to know what to do with himself; he came and sat rigidly on the sofa, staring into the flickering flames in the hearth, seemingly lost in thought. He seemed much more tense when he was not occupied with something and Katherine found herself wanting to break the silence.

"How long do you think we'll be here?" Katherine asked, looking up at him from where she sat cross-legged on the floor; he was sat on the sofa, his elbows braced on his knees and his hands loosely linked between his legs as he leant forward slightly. His long, slightly tangled hair was partly shadowing his face and his eyes were hooded as he stared into the dancing flames.

There was a brief pause, then he spoke. "For as long as it's safe," Bucky replied quietly, the resignation in his voice acutely reminding her that with Hydra out there they were, indeed, by no means safe.

* * *

A few hours later Bucky screamed himself awake, thrashing in the blanket that had somehow tangled around his locked limbs in the scant few hours he had managed to sleep.

He frantically tore the blanket off himself and jerked upright on the sofa that he'd slept on in the living room of the cabin, his skin drenched in cold sweat. He was unsurprised to find a gun in his hands, no doubt having pulled it from it's hiding place beneath the sofa in the midst of his nightmare, and dropped it to the floor with a faint clatter. His flesh hand was shaking as he then buried his face in both hands, the metal one cool against his skin. He took deep, gasping breaths through his fingers as he tried to slow his racing heart, feeling like he had just broken the surface after being held under freezing water without being able to breathe.

He'd dreamt about Azzano, old memories of his unit being captured in Italy, of being strapped down to a table in a dim and dingy laboratory. He remembered Armin Zola's face hovering over him with his beady little eyes magnified by his glasses as he stared down at him with the kind of fascinated, yet detached look one might give a beetle that they were about to pin to a display board. He could still feel the pain as whatever the hell he had been injected with over and over again had flooded his system and made him feel as if his every nerve was on fire. He remembered how he had said - whispered, gasped, moaned, _screamed_ \- his name, rank and serial number again and again in order to remember who he was when the pain had threatened his very sanity.

 _Hydra got my mind in the end though_ , he thought grimly, his whole body shuddering anew as he thought of that Goddamn machine they'd put him in to wipe him over and over.

Eventually, after several long minutes of trying to calm his racing heart and shallow breathing, he was able to raise his head and look around the empty cabin. The fire was low, but still burning, indicating that he hadn't been asleep for long. He stood on shaky legs and tossed another few logs on the fire, using the poker to stir the flames to catch. He savoured the heat that washed over him, the warmth drying the cold sweat that still covered him and making his skin prickle. Aside from the orange glow of the flames, the living room was dark and deserted, the bedroom door on the other side of the cabin firmly closed.

 _Katya_ , he thought, his heart sinking slightly as he stared at the bedroom door.

He'd probably woken her with his nightmare.

He crossed over to her door, absently stooping to pick up the dropped gun in his metal hand as he did so. He put his forehead against the wood of the bedroom door to listen, closing his eyes; with his enhanced hearing he could just make out the faint sound of her breathing within the room. His flesh hand paused on the door handle and he resisted the urge to go in and check that she was safe.

Bucky knew that he thought better with an objective, the soldier within him wanting clear cut orders and actions. His self-given mission since he had dived from that helicarrier and pulled Steve Rogers out of the river had been to find out who he was - and, now that he had put Katherine in harms way, to keep her safe from Hydra.

It had been so very, very strange to return to the abandoned cabin from getting supplies earlier that evening to find it warm, bright and cosy. The delicious smell of food had permeated the air and music had been playing from her laptop in the corner.

The songs had been unfamiliar, as had all the music that he had heard since he'd first turned on the radio for Katherine in the truck, but it had been better than what had been playing on the radio as they'd drove there; a small part of him that he could recognise as being very much the Bucky Barnes of the forties had the vague, yet determined and disgruntled sense that he didn't really like modern music very much.

It felt almost _rebellious_ to have an opinion on something, he'd never been granted the luxury of preference or choice when he'd been with Hydra.

Nevertheless, the image of a warm kitchen with a woman cooking at the stove had struck him and briefly stopped him in his tracks as he'd entered the cabin. The sight had been so alien to him, being used to cold cells, flavourless mush served on metal trays to accompany a cocktail of drugs and the detached brutality of his handlers - and yet at the same time it had been piercingly familiar and had stirred old memories in his mind.

" _Jamie, look! Mommy's letting me cook!" a little, dark haired girl said from where she stood on a chair to reach the stove, another dark haired woman standing beside her with a smile, the tinny sound of swing music playing quietly from a battered radio on a shelf._

His mother and … his sister?

He hadn't even known until that moment that he had a sister; he didn't even recall her name.

The surreal feeling within the abandoned cabin had continued throughout the evening as he and Katherine had sat down and shared a meal - an honest to God, home-cooked meal, complete with quiet, albeit sparse, conversation. It was the first time they had truly sat down and ate food together that wasn't packaged from gas stations - he didn't count the food she'd made in the Hydra safe-house since she had been staring at him in fear throughout and he'd only managed a few bites before he'd vomited it back up.

The food they'd eaten earlier that night, however, had been hot, warming and full of flavour - he hadn't been joking when he'd said that it was the best meal he'd had in seventy years. The conversation had been pleasant as well; Katherine was no longer frightened of him, rather she was smiling, talkative and even teasing. He found that he enjoyed listening to her speak, particularly when she talked about her work - he didn't understand much of what she said about it, but she spoke with passion.

He was still surprised, though undeniably relieved, that after everything he had done - kidnapping her, dragging her into danger and actually cutting her throat with a Goddamn knife - Katherine had still decided to stay with him.

He didn't understand it, but he wasn't going to question what was rapidly becoming the one good thing he had in his life and he'd be damned before he let anyone - Hydra, SHIELD, Steve Rogers - take her away from him.

Slowly, he released her door handle without opening it. He sat down against the wall opposite the bedroom door, the gun held loosely in his lap. He knew full well that he would get no more sleep that night after his nightmares, so he may as well pass the hours until the sun came up by silently watching and protecting, making sure she was safe as his thoughts swirled in his torn-up mind.

His nightmare had been good for something at least; he'd remembered another lost part of himself amidst the pain-filled memories of being experimented on in Azzano that had surfaced.

"Sergeant James Barnes," he whispered to himself as he sat in the darkness, his hooded eyes fixed on the bedroom door and his metal hand lightly resting on the gun in his lap. "32557038 … Sergeant James Barnes, 32557038 …"

* * *

 **Okay, but Infinity War though …**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies!**


	5. Sleeping arrangements

The following morning Katherine woke up slowly and stretched luxuriously. The bed in the cabin had been gloriously warm and cosy, with a thick duvet to keep out the cold even though the fire in the bedroom had burned itself out in the middle of the night. That said, she hadn't exactly slept well - her rest had been disturbed by loud, pained shouting from the living room that had quickly been cut off when Bucky had screamed himself awake.

She had learned her lesson back in the motel though and stayed exactly where she was in the bedroom for her own safety. She had peered through the darkness at the firmly closed door from where she lay beneath the covers, straining her ears to hear anything outside other than eerie silence, and had eventually fallen back into an uneasy sleep.

Stifling a yawn, she got out of bed to look for clothes. In doing so, she caught a glimpse of herself in the full length mirror and paused to look at her reflection. As she had initially suspected the night before, the cream silk nightgown that Bucky had bought her clung lovingly to her every curve despite its modest length and the thin spaghetti straps left most of her shoulders and collarbones exposed. She had been initially hesitant about wearing it to bed, but ended up being surprisingly glad that she had; the silk against her skin as she'd slept had felt downright decadent and she thought that she could just be converted to preferring nightdresses over pyjamas.

She tilted her head as she continued to look at her reflection; the silk nightdress combined with her long, sleep-mussed hair meant that she appeared unusually sensual, much more so than she normally did in the mornings with her flannel pyjamas and over-sized t-shirts - still, there was no way in hell that she would be wearing it around the cabin in front of Bucky, she thought to herself as she shook her head.

Katherine then lifted her chin to look at the cut on her throat, touching it gently; it had scabbed over to a thin red line that still stood out starkly against her pale skin but no longer needed any kind of dressing covering it. Bruises still shadowed her wrists from where he had pinned her, but they would be easily covered by the long sleeves of the jumpers he'd bought her.

Heading to the wardrobe, she quickly dressed in her new pair of jeans and pale pink jumper; the jeans were a little big so she also added a belt that Bucky had bought for himself, hoping that he wouldn't mind. She then pulled on thick socks to keep her feet warm before she padded out into the living room to look for him.

The thick blanket folded neatly at the end of the sofa confirmed her suspicion that Bucky had indeed slept out there the night before, however he was now nowhere to be seen.

A thud from outside caught her attention, followed a moment later by another, then another. She slipped on the boots that she had left beside the door and grabbed her new coat from the hook. She opened the door and paused, her lips parting on a gasp; more snow had fallen in the night and large, fluffy white flakes were still drifting lazily down. Icicles of differing lengths hung from the awning of the wrap-around porch, dripping as they started to melt in the bright, early morning sun. The lake was frozen, sparking with snow and the trees were laden with heavy, white branches. It was like a winter wonderland.

Snow crunched under her boots as she followed Bucky's footprints around the side of the cabin. She found him using an axe to expertly chop a large pile of logs, wearing the same flannel shirt and dark jeans he'd had on yesterday, probably having slept in them. He wasn't wearing a coat though he was seemingly unbothered by the cold. He glanced at her and continued his work without acknowledging her presence, bringing the axe down to split each log with what looked like absurd ease. The pile of chopped logs was huge, far bigger than the meagre supply she had found whilst investigating the cabin yesterday, so he had clearly been at it for some time, probably since the sun had first come up. He seemed tense as he worked, the movements jerky, as if his whole body was coiled like a spring and ready to snap. If the dark shadows under his eyes were any indication then he hadn't managed to get any more sleep after his nightmare.

Katherine wrapped her arms around herself to try and conserve warmth and watched him for a long moment with her head tilted slightly to one side. "I'm going to make breakfast," she said eventually, breaking the silence.

Bucky looked up at her once more and nodded curtly. "I'll be right in," he told her, bringing the axe down on another log with impressive strength, the ripple of his muscles visible even beneath the shirt he wore.

Leaving him to it, she headed back inside and got to work in the kitchen. By the time he came back inside, carrying an armful of logs that he stacked ready beside the burned-out fire, she had the kettle boiled, eggs scrambling and bacon frying in the pan. "Tea or coffee?" she asked him absently, occupied with scrambling the eggs.

He paused what he was doing and blinked at her, a frown of confusion creasing his brow once more. "I … don't know," he replied, sounding distinctly unsure.

Katherine looked at him and wondered if he had ever been given much of a choice in what he ate or drank when he had been with Hydra. "Tell you what, I'll make you both and you can decide which you like more - my money would be on coffee though, since you're an American," she told him, turning the heat down on the oven so that the food wouldn't burn and moving to potter around the kitchen.

She busied herself with making the cups of tea and coffee, vaguely aware of him coming to stand in the kitchen near her. Once she had finished she turned to him with both mugs in hand and was mildly alarmed to find him leant against the counter absently flipping a knife between his fingers as he watched her work, his gaze fixed on her. He didn't seem to think it was anything unusual, nor did he seem to notice how she froze at the sight of the knife, simply pocketing it and reaching out to take the mug of black coffee without a word.

She watched in turn as he cautiously, curiously, breathed in the scent the coffee from the mug; he then blinked, his gaze going slightly unfocused as he looked at the wall behind her, and exhaled a slow breath. "Are you okay?" she wanted to know when he didn't move for a long moment, the cup of tea she had also made for him still in her hands.

He blinked and his gaze moved to her, seemingly roused from whatever train of thought had just taken him at the smell of the coffee. "Memories," he said simply, seemingly neither distressed or hurt by whatever he'd remembered.

"That's ... good, right?" she asked, raising her eyebrows slightly, unsurprised that familiar smells or tastes might prompt memories. "Anything in particular?"

He looked like he was thinking hard, then shook his head slightly with a pained grimace. "More just … impressions," he told her, sounding more than a little frustrated at this, briefly pressing his lips together into a tight, white line. "Coffee being boiled in a mess tin, being drunk from dented metal cups."

"That'll be during the war, I suppose," she said thoughtfully. He still looked frustrated at not being able to remember more, his jaw clenched tightly, and she instinctively laid her hand on his arm - she didn't realise until she touched him that it was his metal arm that she was touching and swiftly drew back her fingers when his eyes darted abruptly downwards to her hand, noting that he didn't seem particularly happy with her touching the metal limb even through the layers of his clothing. "You can't force the memories, Bucky," she said calmingly, thinking of what he had said when they were driving yesterday, that it physically hurt him when he strained to think and remember.

He nodded slowly, his jaw still clenched, and so she offered him the mug of tea to distract him. "Here, let's see if tea prompts any memories too," she said with a smile. Obligingly, he put the coffee down on the counter and took the mug of tea; he sniffed it and took a small sip, only to pull a face at the taste, clearly not liking it. Katherine laughed brightly in amusement and reached out to take the mug from him once more, her fingers brushing his. "Don't worry, I'll happily drink it for you - coffee tastes like muck to me," she told him with a grin, taking a sip of the tea herself; Bucky looked satisfied with this arrangement, picking up his coffee once more and carrying it to the table.

For the next few minutes she returned to fixing breakfast, flipping the bacon, cooking mushrooms, popping bread in the toaster to toast and stirring the eggs, which were nearly done, meanwhile Bucky set the table for the two of them. Once she was finished she dished up the food and carried the two full plates over to the table as well. "It's not quite a full-English, but it beats gas station food," she said with a smile, handing him his plate, which was filled slightly more than hers since she had noticed last night that he now seemed to have quite the appetite.

"Thank you," he said quietly, and the two of them sat down to eat opposite each other once more.

They ate mostly in silence until she noticed Bucky take a mouthful and grimace ever so slightly as he chewed - it was a subtle movement, only the smallest downward twitch of his lips, but Katherine found that she was getting better at reading the nuances of his expression. She grinned at him. "Not a fan of mushrooms?" she deduced, more than a little entertained at the image of this master assassin pulling faces at her cooking, especially since he was the one who had bought all their supplies. He shrugged in response, his gaze still lowered to the table, and took another mouthful of mushrooms. She frowned a little at this. "You know you don't have to eat them if you don't want to, right? You're allowed to have a preference," she told him seriously, strongly suspecting given his behaviour that morning that he wasn't accustomed to having a choice in his food and was used to eating whatever was put in front of him without question or complaint.

His eyes darted up to her, searching her face warily as if looking for a trap. "Just like with the tea, I'll even take them off your hands if you don't want them," she added lightly, gesturing slightly with her fork and wanting to alleviate the look of suspicion he was giving her - it hurt a little that he was still wary of her kindness, but she couldn't say she was surprised given the way he had no doubt been treated in the past.

He nodded slowly, his eyes still fixed on her - Katherine reached forward and speared a mushroom from his plate, popping it into her mouth with a smile; he visibly relaxed and started eating once more, carefully pushing his mushrooms to the side of his plate so that she could help herself.

"Did you sleep out here last night?" she asked to break the very brief silence that followed as they finished eating and started to clear the table, wanting to confirm this suspicion.

"Yes," he replied succinctly, moving to put both of their plates down in the sink.

Katherine nodded slowly, noting that his eyes were still shadowed and exhausted as he moved around the kitchen. "... And did you actually sleep?" she wanted to know, strongly suspecting that this wasn't the case; she'd heard him screaming in his sleep, and very much doubted that he had got much rest after that.

Bucky shrugged, his broad back to her as he ran a sink full of water; she suspected that was the only response she was going to get. She looked at him in concern for several long seconds before she eventually moved to join him in the kitchen, her eyes taking in the tense line of his shoulders with his long, untrimmed hair hanging lankly around his pale, drawn face. She sighed in quiet concern and reached for the tea towel to dry up and put away since he was washing up, deciding that it was probably better not to comment.

"What the hell is that?" Bucky asked sharply several seconds later as she reached for a plate to dry, the movement causing the sleeve of her jumper to raise ever so slightly up her arm.

"What?" she said, looking around her blankly to see what had spooked him and finding nothing.

He reached over and took the plate from her hand, putting it down on the counter; he then seized her fingers with his flesh hand and used his metal hand to roughly push up the sleeve of her jumper further, exposing the bruises he'd left on her wrist.

"How …" he started to say bewilderedly, then trailed off. His eyes narrowed and he reached for her other hand as well. He rolled up her other sleeve until both of her arms were exposed and then carefully drew her wrists together, holding both of them lightly with his metal hand covering the bruises he'd left on her skin.

"I don't blame you," Katherine said quietly, preempting the conversation that was imminent; her heart was suddenly pounding as she watched him stare down at his large, metal hand encompassing both of her wrists with ease for several long, tense seconds.

He abruptly released her and took a jerky step back, away from her. His gaze lifted to her face, full of guilt and remorse, and his jaw briefly clenched before he spoke. "I'm sorry," he said once again, his voice pained.

"I know," she told him softly, wanting him to stop blaming himself for something he'd obviously had no control over. "And I know you didn't mean to. You were asleep and -"

"That's no excuse," Bucky interrupted her swiftly, his eyes dark and his entire face clouded as he shook his head, the jagged strands of his untrimmed hair whipping his cheeks.

"Hey -" she started to say, automatically reaching for him - he took another lurching step back away from her, almost a flinch, and she slowly lowered her hand. She watched as he clenched both hands into fists at his side, then his shoulders seemed to drop and he lowered his eyes, his gaze skittering away from hers like he couldn't meet her eyes.

"I'll be outside," he muttered in a quiet, self-reproaching voice as he crossed the cabin to gather his coat and hat.

"Bucky -" she started to say, but he ignored her and headed out of the cabin, banging the door behind him and leaving her standing beside a sink of unwashed dishes.

Katherine sighed and pushed the sleeves of her jumper back down before turning to do the washing up alone. She supposed it was inevitable that he'd seen the bruises, but still thought that he was taking too much guilt on himself for what had happened in that motel room two nights ago - she definitely had a share of the blame as well considering how she had foolishly tried to wake him in the midst of such a violent nightmare.

After taking a long shower to help calm down, savouring the hot water from the different shower heads, Katherine spent the morning working on her code. She found that she enjoyed the chance to sit and just focus on inputting it, occasionally looking out at the gently falling snow whenever she needed time to think. Around one o'clock she paused her work and made herself a simple sandwich from the bread and cheese Bucky had bought yesterday before getting back to her laptop.

Bucky had vanished outside almost immediately after they had cleared up breakfast and she hadn't seen him for several hours. About two hours after she had eaten, when he didn't come back in for lunch, she decided to make him some food and go looking for him, wanting another break from her laptop screen and to see if his mood had improved. She made another sandwich and a cup of coffee, put on her coat, hat, gloves and scarf, and carried them outside. She immediately saw his footprints and was able to follow them down to the picturesque, frozen lake.

She found him about half a mile from the cabin, sat on a fallen log with a fishing rod set up in a hole he'd carved in the ice. He turned to look at her as she approached and straightened slightly, watching her picking her way through the snow towards him. He looked like he had been thinking hard, a hint of regret still pulling at his mouth. He was no longer wearing the cap that he had scarcely taken off as they'd travelled to Canada, instead he was wearing a new, black padded jacket and a dark, navy blue woollen hat to keep him warm.

"Hey," she said as she approached, crunching through the snow towards him, purposefully trying to keep her tone as casual as possible to let him know that everything was alright. "Caught anything?"

He nodded down to the bucket at his feet; swimming inside some shallow water were three rather forlorn looking fish. "You'll be pleased to know we can indeed have fish for dinner tonight," he told her simply, with no inflection in his voice. He sounded slightly calmer than he had been earlier, though it still didn't seem to come naturally to him; it looked like he was forcing himself to sit and speak as normally as he could after their conversation following breakfast, taking great pains to make himself as unthreatening as possible.

"Huh, good job," she said lightly, already thinking about how she could cook them with the ingredients she had. "Here," she added, handing him the plate and mug of coffee before dusting some snow off the log and sitting down beside him to look out over the lake.

"Thank you," he said, once again sounding slightly surprised that she had bought him anything - though she couldn't help but notice that he seemed to scoot marginally away from her as she sat down, as if he was worried about hurting her even just by proximity. He took a bite of the sandwich and then paused, chewing and swallowing before speaking. "Have you eaten?" he wanted to know, frowning slightly at her.

"An hour or so ago. When you didn't come in I thought I'd bring something out to you," she said. He nodded and continued eating, silence stretching out between them as she looked out over the serene, frozen lake.

After a while she shivered, rubbing her gloved hands over her arms. "How can you sit out here? It's freezing."

"I've been in colder places than this," Bucky replied, followed by a brief pause before he spoke again; she was a little surprised by how talkative he was being, but suspected he was trying hard just to make her more comfortable. "I remember being in the mountains in Siberia in basic tactical gear. I nearly lost several fingers and toes to frostbite, probably would have if it weren't for the serum."

"Serum?" she questioned, looking at him some surprise. "Like the serum Steve Rogers had?"

"Bastardised version," he said with a grunt, looking out over the lake with a deep scowl marring his features, his eyes shadowed with old, remembered pain. "Given to me in Azzano when I was a prisoner in the war."

She stared at him, was he saying that he was some kind of … _super soldier_ , like Captain America was? The nuance in his words then caught up with her; if he had been a prisoner then she very much doubted he had been given the serum willingly. "You remember that?" she asked softly, saddened that he apparently had such painful memories when the rest of his life eluded him.

He nodded once, his expression grim and haunted.

She thought back to how he had jogged for over a kilometer with several bullet wounds and how they had already seemed to be healing when she had looked at them hours later. "I suppose that explains why you heal so quickly," she said musingly, thinking that it made sense -not to mention that she had seen his physique when he had been shirtless, to say that he was muscled would be an understatement. "What else do you remember?" she asked, not entirely sure she wanted to know the answer.

"Fragments," he said shortly, his gloved hands loosely linked between his legs, his gaze fixed on the far lake shore. "The exhibit at the museum mentioned when I was captured and held at a Hydra base near Azzano." He grimaced and rubbed his forehead with one hand, like it was paining him. "Reading about it jogged my memory some."

Katherine hesitated, remembering what she had read in the exhibit and thinking hard. "Have …" she started to say, then took a deep breath and rephrased her question slightly. "I saw the news footage of you fighting Steve Rogers back in DC, but have you considered -"

"No," he said sternly, his hand still on his forehead, covering his eyes.

"But he -"

Bucky turned to glare at her, his stormy, grey-blue eyes holding a dangerous glint. "I'm _not_ contacting him," he practically snarled at her - he then seemed to realise how aggressive he'd sounded and softened his gaze with a reproachful sigh. "Not yet, anyway," he added gruffly, picking up a small stick from beside him and throwing it out over the lake in frustration; it landed on the ice and skittered across the surface several hundred feet away.

"Okay," Katherine agreed simply; despite thinking that Steve Rogers could help them she could well understand why he didn't want to contact him.

Bucky sighed once more, a weary and defeated sound. "I don't remember him," he admitted quietly, sounding acutely pained.

"... Nothing?" she whispered after a moment, thinking about everything she had read about the two of them back at the museum exhibit, about how close they had been and everything they had apparently been through together.

He turned from the lake to face her, his expression utterly lost. "I don't remember _anything_ about him except for the look on his face as I fell from that train," he told her seriously and her lips parted in horror at the idea of that being the only memory he had of his best friend. "I … I _know_ that I knew him, but …" He rubbed one hand over the thick stubble coating his lower face once more, shaking his head slightly. "I remember being strapped to a table and injected over and over with God knows what, but I don't remember my best friend," he said in an exhausted voice, turning his haunted gaze to the ice again. "I remember the face of Armin Zola, but not the faces or names of the men I fought with," he finished in a whisper.

She thought her heart might just about break, listening to him speak .

"It's ... going to take time, I suppose," she said quietly as she rubbed her arms to warm them, the only thing she felt that she could say.

He made a small noise, like a cross between a huff and a sigh, and looked at her for several long seconds. His gaze then softened ever so slightly and his frown smoothed out to a more relaxed expression. He handed her the empty plate and coffee mug, having finished his food. "Your lips are starting to turn blue," he observed, his voice a quiet rasp as he purposely changed the subject, clearly in no mood to continue that particular line of discussion. "Go back inside before you freeze, Katya, I'll be in soon."

* * *

Bucky returned to the cabin later that evening with several fish already gutted and ready for cooking. He wordlessly handed them to Katherine, who got started with the cooking while he went and showered; he appeared to appreciate the different shower-heads just as much as she had, if the length of time he stayed in there was any indication, though he still seemed tense when he finally emerged, his long hair dripping as he moved around her with caution.

Their dinner was a rather quiet affair, though again Bucky helped her with the clear up, seemingly still taking care not to stand too close to her lest he hurt her again. Afterwards he seemed at a bit of a loose end once more, simply sitting on one of the chairs by a window and looking watchfully out of the gap in the curtains. She wondered if the knowledge of the bruises he'd given her or the memories that they had discussed earlier were still bothering him, since his tension was evident.

After several long, silent hours she closed her laptop. "I'm heading to bed," she told him since it was growing late; he turned his gaze from the dark window and gave her a single nod by way of a goodnight.

She paused at the bedroom door, hesitating before deciding to just bite the bullet, so to speak and voice an idea she'd had earlier in the day. She took a deep breath and turned back to him. "I … I was thinking, I don't mind …" She trailed off, looking at the ceiling briefly as she thought about how to rephrase herself and wondering if she was doing the right thing in making this suggestion. "That is … I know you haven't been sleeping well and I thought you might sleep better in the bed, you don't have to sleep on the sofa."

Bucky frowned deeply at her from where he sat at the window, his brow heavily lined as he shook his head. "No … I don't want to hurt you," he replied, repeating his words from their last motel room; she could well understand his concern, his nightmares sounded intense and she still bore the scabbed over cut on her throat from when she had tried to wake him and bruises on her wrists - however, she hadn't been suggesting that they share the bed, so his concern was unwarranted.

"Actually, I - I meant I could take the sofa," she corrected with a small, half smile. "I'm shorter than you, it will be more comfortable for me."

To her surprise, his frown deepened even further, heavy lines on his forehead; he didn't seem to like that idea any more than his misconception that they'd share the bed. "Don't be ridiculous," he told her, shaking his head in immediate disagreement. "I may not remember much, but I do know that women shouldn't sleep on sofas."

Katherine found herself rolling her eyes slightly at that; apparently he remembered perceptions of women from the forties, but little else. "That's just stupid, I _fit_ on the sofa -"

His eyes narrowed dangerously at her as she spoke, looking more than a little displeased at her disagreeing with him. "I'm not arguing this with you, Katya," he said sternly as she continued to push this; his whole posture was slowly tensing up once more and his long hair was falling forward slightly, shadowing his face.

"But -"

"I said _no_ ," he bit out, then turned back to the window that he had been looking watchfully out of, away from her; the orange glow of the fire was flickering over his face, casting half of it into shadow and making him look rather sinister "Go to bed," he added simply, seemingly done with the conversation and sounding as if he was simply dismissing her.

More than a little irritated with his commanding manner, Katherine crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him in turn. "You can't just order me around like that," she told him without thinking, annoyed at his tone.

He turned back to face her, his eyes hooded. "… Can't I?" he asked, his voice going soft and dark.

Katherine parted her lips at him, suddenly sensing that she was in dangerous territory. He had talked yesterday about having two personalities, two voices in his head. He'd been on edge all day after his nightmares and discovering her bruises and she had the distinct impression that it was now the soldier rather than the man that she was talking to. Nevertheless, she swallowed and decided to stand her ground. "No, you can't," she told him, though there was a very faint quaver of hesitation in her voice.

Bucky stood, unfolding himself from the chair, and slowly approached her on silent footsteps, all lean and dangerous muscle. He stopped right in front of her, his huge frame towering over her and making her tilt her chin back even further so that she could look into his face. His gunmetal eyes met and held hers. "I can ... and you _will_ obey," he told her in a rumbling voice that brooked no arguments.

She took a nervous breath, still not willing to drop this. "But -"

His eyes flashed and his jaw abruptly clenched, making her fall silent, suddenly feeling like prey in the sights of a predator - she felt like she had just done the foolish equivalent of poking a bear with a stick.

"Let me be … very ... clear," Bucky said slowly, sounding like he was trying hard to control his anger as he took another step towards her, practically caging her in against the bedroom door. "You will go to that bedroom and sleep without further arguments … or I will put you over my shoulder, carry you there myself and then _lock_ you in. Понимаю?"

Katherine looked up at him, her breathing somewhat shallow as she stared into his pale, stormy eyes.

" _Do you understand_?" he pressed her, his icy, unrelenting gaze allowing no escape.

She swallowed and her tongue briefly darted out to wet her lips as she took a breath. "Yes, but …"

He raised a single brow sharply, challengingly, at her - she immediately trailed off, only to then sigh slightly in defeat. "It's not an argument, it's a question," she told him wearily; he didn't reply and she took that as permission to continue. "Why is this so important to you?" she wanted to know, grasping her elbows and shaking her head a little as she frowned up at him in confusion.

His mouth thinned into a narrow line beneath his the stubble of his beard. "Perhaps you have forgotten that I held a knife to your throat not two nights ago and that your wrists still bear my damned _handprint_ ," he snarled pointedly, the causticity in his voice apparently now directed at himself. "I should not be anywhere near you when I sleep, for your own safety," he added firmly, still looming over her. He then sighed deeply, took a single step back, and looked over towards the cabin door. "And as for you taking the sofa … should anyone approach the cabin, I do not want you out here, alone and vulnerable."

Katherine exhaled a breath and nodded her head slowly. "Okay," she allowed quietly.

Bucky returned his wintery gaze to her and once again raised that single brow, this time apparently questioning her compliance.

"Your logic makes sense," she explained, a hint of exasperation entering her voice once again as her fear passed, trusting that he wouldn't hurt her. "However I still don't like the way you spoke to me."

A crease appeared in his brow as he frowned down at her, looking slightly confused at her words - she got the sense that the soldier had receded somewhat, that Bucky was now more in control.

"Look, I get that you want to be in control here, and I'm happy to defer to you on that," she told him honestly, recognising both his superior survival skills and that after everything he had been through he needed to be in control of his life. "But I'm not your …" she trailed off, wondering how to finish that sentence.

Bucky was still staring down at her, looking puzzled by what she was saying; he was still stood too close, crowding her personal space, though he was no longer looming quite so threateningly. "My what?" he wanted to know, his eyes roving over her face.

Katherine took a deep breath and met his eyes. "I'm not your servant, your subordinate … or your victim," she finished firmly; he may have kidnapped her from the museum, but she had made the decision to stay when he had given her the keys and left her in the car. "I'm _not_ someone that you can just dictate to."

He tilted his head at her, like he was trying to figure something out. "... What are you then?" he asked eventually, sounding like he genuinely didn't know.

She sighed deeply and half raised one shoulder. "How about a friend?" Katherine suggested quietly, still looking up at him - this was definitely Stockholm Syndrome, it was less than a week since he'd dragged her from the exhibit, causing her to pass out with his hand pressed over her nose and mouth while she'd struggled, and now she wanted to be his friend.

He was silent, his gaze intense and fixed on her; she bit her lip and shrugged slightly once again. "Like it or not, we're in this together now, Bucky," she finished, hoping that she had done the right thing in standing her ground like that.

After a long silence, during which he looked like he was thinking hard, then Bucky slowly inclined his head at her. "... Friends," he said quietly, sounding like he wasn't quite sure what to make of this offer - she couldn't blame him for that, the last friend he'd had was no doubt Steve Rogers, and they'd ended up fighting on opposing sides with everything that had happened between SHIELD and Hydra. He then nodded slightly at her, apparently coming to some kind of conclusion. "Goodnight, Katya," he added, his voice soft once more - she got the impression that this was the only apology for his tone that she would get, nevertheless she was satisfied with it.

She gave him a small, gentle smile and inclined her head at him in turn. "Goodnight Bucky," she replied gently, then slipped through to the bedroom of the cabin to sleep alone, leaving him in the living room once more.

* * *

 **Two bits of news for this week … my sister got engaged and I got a new job, whoop whoop!**

 **This wasn't my favourite chapter to write - initially had several parts quite different, back when the original idea was to have the romance develop quicker, but I felt it wasn't flowing so changed quite a lot in editing. Still, hope you all enjoy :)**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies!**


	6. Core components

Several days had passed within the cabin, though it couldn't exactly be said that things were settling into a routine. Bucky was too unpredictable for that, his moods oscillating wildly depending on if it was a good day or a bad day.

On the bad days he would sit eerily still at the table in the cabin doing nothing but flipping a knife between his fingers, silent and sullen, the soldier evidently in the forefront of his mind. More often than not his steely, watchful gaze would be fixed on Katherine as she worked on her computer, making her feel distinctly uncomfortable at times, though whenever she tried to speak to him he would simply stare at her in silence without replying.

He was downright terrifying when he was in this mood, his huge frame tense like he was poised to attack; she'd learned that it was best to ignore him, to go about her day and work on her code as usual and just wait for him to snap out of it and start speaking again.

There were good days too though, days when Bucky went fishing or hunting for game birds instead of staying cooped in the cabin. He could not be called verbose by any means, but on those days he would join her in small conversations whenever he was inside instead of snapping at her.

One such day she woke up and found that Bucky was already halfway through cooking breakfast, surprising her since she had done all of the cooking for them so far in the handful of days they'd been there. "You know how to cook?" she asked with no small amount of bemusement as she padded through the cabin in her socks, already dressed in jeans and a jumper with her hair down around her shoulders. She was more than a little entertained by the image of this dangerous, super-soldier assassin barefoot and scrambling eggs in the kitchen whilst wearing a unbuttoned flannel shirt over a t-shirt instead of the tactical gear she had seen him in on the news.

"Only from watching you," he admitted as he stirred the eggs in the pan. He then glanced up at her and added, "I don't think I did much cooking back … back then."

Katherine hummed slightly, moving passed him to put the kettle on since he hadn't made drinks yet. "Doesn't surprise me, gender roles were more fixed back in the forties."

"How did you learn?" Bucky wanted to know as he added mushrooms to one of the pans, knowing that she liked them, and surprising her since personal questions weren't his normal M.O.

She shrugged slightly, thinking back. "Taught myself, I suppose," she said, briefly standing on her tiptoes to peek over his shoulder to examine the bacon in the pan, noting that he was cooking it to a crisp, just how she liked it. "I was pretty independent from a young age."

He turned and frowned down at her, leaning back against the counter beside the stove and giving the conversation his full attention. "What about your family?" he asked, apparently picking up on the faint note of resentment in her voice.

Katherine parted her lips and then hesitated before speaking. "My mum died when I was little and my dad wasn't all that keen on raising a daughter. He was disinterested at best, downright neglectful at worst," she told him, rattling off her story and keeping the emotion in her voice in check as she poured water from the kettle. "He's recently remarried, he and his wife are expecting a son in a few months. I only really speak to him once or twice a year." She took a deep breath and looked up at him, briefly hugging her arms around her torso as she did so. "And considering that he's the only family I have and I'm taking a sabbatical from work to finish my code, there's no one really to report me missing." She gave him a plastic smile and handed him his coffee mug. "Guess you kidnapped the right woman."

He had held her eyes throughout her entire explanation and now nodded slowly as he took the mug from her, their fingers brushing. "Guess so," he agreed quietly.

* * *

One night about a week after they'd arrived in the cabin Katherine was startled awake in the middle of the night by a loud, violent shouting in Russian - it was by no means the first time this had happened, but this time the yelling was followed by a huge crash and a distinct thud from the living room.

Remembering how he had held a knife to her throat and the argument they'd had when he'd initially thought that she was offering to share the bed a few nights ago, she didn't dare go out to investigate. Instead she simply sat up in bed with her arms wrapped around her as she stared sadly at the bedroom door, her heart aching for him and knowing that they were likely in for another 'bad day,' as she'd dubbed them, tomorrow.

The following morning, after drifting back into an uneasy sleep, she cautiously left the bedroom to investigate the living room, not knowing what she would find. She was unsurprised to find the coffee table overturned, no doubt the source of the crash she'd heard. The curtain rail had also been pulled down, with the curtains simply left in a heap. Ashes and half-burned logs were strewn in front of the fireplace as if he had violently swiped an arm at it and a knife was embedded almost two inches in the door of the cabin, no doubt having been thrown there.

Bucky himself was sat on the sofa, staring blankly at the knife in the door and not even seeming to notice the disarray around him. His gaze was unfocused, his lips parted, and he was breathing heavily. There was a dark smear of soot covering his real arm from whatever he'd done to the fireplace and he must have wiped his face in the night because ash was also arching up and over one of his cheeks.

Moving around him, she went to the kitchen and made him a cup of coffee before very carefully coming to sit beside him on the sofa. "You know, it might help to talk about it," she said softly, holding the mug out to him.

"No," he replied instantly, his voice rusty from having been shouting in his sleep, then sighed slightly and took the mug from her with his metal hand. "I don't want my nightmares in your head," he added quietly, avoiding her gaze.

Instinctively, she reached out and put her hand on his knee, wanting to provide some small comfort. To her surprise, he immediately covered her hand with his flesh one, squeezing her fingers tightly as they sat in silence, as if he desperately needed the touch after his nightmare.

After a long moment, she turned his dirty hand over to look at it. "Did you burn yourself?" she asked in concern, checking for injures.

"No," he rasped, also looking down at his hand with a frown - his expression was one of obvious confusion, like he was wondering how the soot had gotten there. He then took a deep breath and looked around at the disarray of the living room, as if noticing it for the first time. He visibly deflated, sighed and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry," he said eventually, the reproach evident in his voice.

"Not your fault," she replied, squeezing his hand gently - she couldn't blame him for his nightmares, not after everything that he'd no doubt been through.

He pulled his hand back and jerkily got to his feet. She watched as he crossed the cabin to pick up the curtain rail and reattach it, huffing out a breath as he worked. He then rightened the coffee table and knelt down by the fire. He picked up one of the cold, half burned logs and threw it into the empty fireplace with more force than was necessary, followed by another, and another. He then paused, sat back on his heels among the remaining ashes, shook his head and sighed deeply, his eyes fixed on the cold grate of the fire. "I … I feel like I'm ... _broken_ , Katya," he admitted faintly without looking at her, a defeated note in his voice.

Katherine pressed her lips together, sensing that she had to tread rather carefully here - she couldn't just tell him that everything would be alright, it wasn't true and he wouldn't believe her even if she did. "I suppose that you _are_ broken," she agreed softly; his gaze flicked back to her, like he was surprised she'd agreed. "But broken things aren't _bad_ and being broken doesn't mean you can't still fix yourself."

"I don't know how," he said shaking his head and staring at her with wide eyes, sounding lost.

"You're already doing it," she told him honestly, feeling acutely for him.

He shook his head sharply once again and gestured at the chaos around the room. "It's not enough," he claimed, clearly frustrated and on edge, no doubt angry with himself for the destruction he'd caused in the midst of his nightmare.

Katherine bit her lip, thinking hard about how she could get through to him, getting the impression that words alone weren't going to cut it. Her eyes fell on one of the shelves in the living room, where he had hidden one of the larger assault rifles that he had bought with them from the Hydra safehouse, and she had an idea.

Getting up, she crossed the room and gingerly collected the large gun from its hiding place; she turned to face Bucky, who was watching her actions with a deep frown, and held it out to him. "Take it apart for me," she ordered him, taking care to keep her tone gentle.

He got to his feet and approached her with no small amount of confusion at the apparent shift in conversation, taking the gun in both hands; he then gave her a silent, questioning look, his frown lingering. "Please," she added softly, looking up at him and hoping this idea of hers would work. "Just trust me."

His jaw briefly tightened at that - trust was something that he no doubt had in short supply - but nevertheless he crossed over to the dining room table and sat down. Katherine quietly came and sat down opposite him, watching as he got to work, deftly dismantling the gun and laying the pieces out in a neat line on the table.

"Completely," she added when he looked like he was nearly finished; he glanced up at her once more and she elaborated. "Screws and everything," she said, since some of the larger pieces still had screws or pins in them.

Obligingly, he got to his feet and collected a small screwdriver from the toolbox he had bought in town the day they'd arrived before silently returning to the table to continue dismantling the gun. Less than a minute later numerous tiny screws, pins and rings had joined the neat line on the table. There had to be nearly a hundred separate parts of the gun, the long barrel being the largest part whereas others were less than half a centimeter in size.

Finished, Bucky looked up at her and sat back in his chair, watching her curiously with hooded eyes as if to see what her next move would be.

Katherine took a deep breath and then mixed up the parts of the gun so that they were spread out in a jumble rather than a neat line; Bucky scowled deeply at this, evidently annoyed, but said nothing to stop her.

"You could say that this gun is broken, but the gun itself is still whole, even though its pieces are scattered," she told him, trying to explain how she saw it in a way he'd understand. "If you wanted to put it back together, you can't just …" She used her hand to scoop all of the pieces together into a large pile to visually make her point. "You need to be patient and put it all back together _properly_ , which takes time and patience." She gestured down at the pile of parts from the dismantled gun. "Now, how would you fix it?"

Bucky's brow was furrowed, his wintery eyes fixed down on the parts. "Start with the core components, fit them together, add the screws …"

"Core components, _exactly_ ," she said with satisfaction, having hoped that he would say something like that since it gave her something to work with. "Now, what's your name?"

He looked up at her and blinked twice at the question. "... Bucky," he replied simply, staring at her.

" _That's_ your core component, right there," she told him firmly. "Your starting point - something that, until two weeks ago, you didn't even know, am I right?"

He nodded, still staring at her with his head tilted ever so slightly to one side and looking slightly dazed.

She nodded down at the pieces. "Get to work," she said with a small smile. He immediately moved to separate the pieces from the haphazard pile that she had put them in so that he could better see them and picked up the first part that he needed, seemingly automatically checking it over to make sure it was clean and functional. Katherine tongue darted out to wet her lips and she asked another question, another that she already knew the answer to. "What were you in the army?"

"A Sergeant, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th infantry," he replied instantly, fitting two pieces together and adding a screw with surprising dexterity and care. He paused, and then added, "My serial number was 32557038," he said, making her blink in surprise since that was a piece of information she didn't remember reading in the exhibit.

"Where did you grow up?" she asked next, taking care to ask questions that he would know the answers to as she watched him work

"Brooklyn," he said, then his hands paused and he frowned up at her. "That's not a memory, I read about it in the museum," he said, a note of bitterness in his voice.

"Still counts, they are facts that you know about yourself," Katherine insisted; Bucky gave a small grimace and continued reassembling the gun. "Where was your unit captured in 1943?"

"Azzano, Italy," he said without looking up, another fact that they had both read in the exhibit and talked about a few days ago down by the lake.

She took a deep breath. "How did you lose your arm?"

His eyes flicked up to her once again, his hands going still. "You already know that," he said with the smallest hint of accusation in his tone.

"I know, but I want you to say it," she said quietly, nodding down to the disassembled gun between them. "This is about putting together _all_ the memories, good and bad. They are all a part of you."

He lowered his eyes and continued working once more; for a moment she thought that he wasn't going to answer. "... I fell from a train," he grunted eventually, attaching a piece of the gun with more force than was probably necessary.

Katherine paused him with her fingers lightly touching his. "Look," she said, nodding down to the partially complete gun in his hands; it was perhaps a quarter assembled, with numerous pieces still scattered around the table between them. "Each memory and fact that you know about yourself is like another part that you're adding, building from the core," she told him as he turned the gun over and over in his hands, his eyes trained downwards. "Hydra didn't physically _pull_ your memories from your head, Bucky, there all still there somewhere just waiting to be put together."

He visibly swallowed and then slowly continued reassembling the gun. "I still feel like I should be doing better, remembering more," he told her in a slightly hollow voice, clearly dissatisfied.

"Bucky, two weeks ago you didn't even know your own _name_ ," she reminded him, leaning forwards slightly across the table to make her point. "Trust me when I say, you're already well on your way to putting yourself back together. You're making progress," she told him honestly, remembering how he had scarcely looked at her or spoken when he had first taken her from the museum.

He grimaced as he worked on the gun, making a faint humming noise that sounded vaguely like a disagreement. "You just need to be patient with yourself," she concluded, not sure what else she could sat on the matter.

There was silence between them for another minute or so as he assembled the rest of the rifle, his hands moving with fluid, easy grace over the metal parts. Once he was finished he deftly loaded the gun and swiftly pointed it at the cabin door, as if to check it was correctly reassembled, the dangerous movement seemingly coming as naturally to him as breathing. He then lowered it and looked down at it intently, turning it over in his hands once more.

He raised his steely gaze to her. "Patient?" he said, like he was checking he'd got it right.

Katherine nodded in satisfaction, noting that he seemed calmer and far less agitated than he had a few minutes ago. "Patient," she confirmed, pleased that he seemed to be taking her words under advisement and hoping that she had helped somehow.

* * *

Katherine took off her reading glasses and tossed them down on the table with a huff of annoyance, rubbing at her temples with her fingertips. After working solidly for days she was now hitting dead ends with her code. It was working, in a sense, but too well; she couldn't find a way to get it to interact with friendly systems without crippling them as they would a threat. She still had other bits of the code that she could work on, but without solving that particular problem there wasn't a whole lot of point.

Absently, she pulled up the decryption program that she was still running for Bucky and stared at it for a long moment - the window on the screen was still running with thousands of tiny, flashing green numbers as the program systematically crunched its way through billions of possible decryption key combinations for the Hydra and SHIELD files.

There was no way to tell how long it would take, it might all of a sudden beep to tell her the decryption had worked or it could still be weeks before anything happened.

Frustrated and slightly headachy, she decided to get some fresh air to clear her mind since she hadn't been out of the cabin all day and it was now well into the afternoon. Bucky had once again vanished outside and she hadn't seen him for several hours, so she thought she'd go looking for him. She bundled up in her coat, hat, scarf and gloves and then pulled on her snow boots before heading outside into the chilly air, her breath steaming white with every exhale. Everything was white and crisp, the snow crunching under her boots as she followed Bucky's footprints away from the cabin.

She found him in a small clearing in the trees not to far away and paused to watch him; it was like he was fighting an invisible opponent, jabbing, punching and kicking at the thin air with lightning speed. She was under no illusions that he hadn't noticed her, but she decided to wait until he was finished before talking to him; she cleared some snow off a fallen tree and sat down to watch him while she waited, quietly fascinated by the way he moved.

Eventually, he came to a halt with his sparring drills and looked in her direction, barely even out of breath despite the exertion. "Did you win?" she called over blithely, casting a smile his way.

He furrowed his brow at her from where he stood, evidently confused by her humour. She pinched the bridge of her nose with a faint sigh. "That was a joke," she added, in case he hadn't got that.

"What's wrong?" he asked her simply, jerking his chin slightly as he remained in the churned up snow in the centre of the clearing, evidently picking up on her frustration.

"Just … hitting dead ends with my code, wanted to clear my head a little," she explained, linking her hands together and bouncing them slightly on her knees. "I've still got lots of data inputting and number crunching that I can do until I figure it out, but in every simulation I've run so far the code can't tell the difference between friendly and unfriendly systems and just attacks everything."

"Like a soldier going on the rampage," he said in a deceptively neutral voice, still not moving from where he stood - she had the distinct impression that there was more to his words than he was letting on there, thinking of the news footage she'd seen back in DC.

"Essentially," she said with a faint sigh, then looked back up at him. "What were you doing?"

"Sparring drill," he grunted in response, glancing down at the churned up snow around him.

Katherine pursed her lips at him, tilting her head. "So ... you're like a super assassin," she deduced, wanting the distraction of light conversation; Bucky simply looked at her, as if wondering what she was getting at. "Can you take someone down with your thighs?" she wanted to know, aware that she was talking nonsense but both curious and entertained by the idea. "I'd love to be able to do that, I saw news footage of Black Widow doing that during the alien invasion."

He frowned deeply at her. " _Alien invasion_?" he repeated, clearly bewildered.

"Yeah, back when aliens invaded New York a few years ago," she replied simply, leaning her elbows on her knees as she spoke to him. He still looked confused and she blinked at him in surprise. "You didn't know?"

Bucky shook his head, giving her a highly bemused look that looked almost incongruous on his usually dour face. "You're pulling my leg," he accused, clearly not believing her.

"I'm being serious!" she replied with a faint laugh, amused by the expression on his face. "It was all over the news. Evil demigod Loki, aliens, weird giant whale thingies all coming down from big blue portal in the sky above New York …" She paused briefly and tilted her head at him before slyly adding, "Captain America was there helping to fight them, you know."

A single raised eyebrow was all the response that she got to that particular line that she left dangling in the open waters of the conversation.

"... But you don't want to talk about that," she said with a slight roll of her eyes after several seconds of silence; it didn't take strong deductions skills to tell that Captain America was not something he wanted to discuss. There was a brief silence. "You know, that's not even the only alien invasion we've had," Katherine added to fill the silence. "There was another invasion in London not long ago. Creepy, dark elves or something. I was pretty close to that one, _seriously_ scary stuff."

The frown was abruptly back at that, his mouth tight with the corners pulled distinctly downwards. "Come here," Bucky commanded her suddenly.

"What?" she asked from where she sat, blinking at his sudden change in tone.

"Come here," he repeated simply, beckoning her forward with an imperious flick of two gloved fingers from what she knew to be his metal hand. Obediently, she got up from the fallen log and padded over to him, the snow crunching with each step, until she was standing just a few feet in front of him. "Do you have any experience in fighting?" he wanted to know, looking at her intently, his grey-blue eyes almost perfectly matching the winter sky above.

"Uh ... limited," she replied, wondering why he was asking.

His brow furrowed once more at that brief reply. "Explain," he ordered succinctly, still staring down at her.

Katherine huffed slightly and dug her toe into the snow. "Got into a scuffle in a nightclub with a guy that got too handsy, kneed him right in the … well, I'm sure you get the idea," she told him, skirting around that particular topic. "And I slapped my ex in the face when I found out he was cheating on me."

"That's it?"

She shrugged slightly in response.

"So when you say your fighting experience is _limited_ , you mean non-existent," he corrected her, sounding less than impressed with her skills, his brows drawn into a heavy, straight line beneath his hat.

She grimaced and awkwardly rubbed the back of her head. "Basically, yeah," she admitted sheepishly, pulling a face at him.

He shook his head slightly, clearly exasperated. "Make a fist," he then ordered her with a single jerk of his chin.

Bemusedly, she did so, holding her right fist out for his inspection.

He tsked her; evidently she'd got something as simple as making a fist wrong. "Thumb on the outside, otherwise you're likely to break it," he corrected, taking a step forward and moving her fingers into the correct positions. He then held up his gloved right hand, palm facing towards her. "Now show me a punch."

She blinked again, confused. "You want me to... punch your hand?" she checked, wanting to be sure that was what he meant.

"As hard as you can," he confirmed with a nod, still looking at her expectantly; she shrugged slightly and then did so, sending her fist flying towards the palm of his hand. He caught it with ease, briefly trapping her fist with his fingers and then released it instantly.

"Again, harder," he told her, moving closer; she punched again and he scowled deeply, clearly still seeing room for improvement. "Imagine you're punching _through_ my hand, it'll give you more power," he advised with surprising patience.

She tried again, sending several punches towards his flesh hand one after the other. "Better," he said with a nod, then indicated down to her other hand. "Left hand," he ordered succinctly.

She did a few punches with her left hand as well before he stopped her again. "Both hands, cross torso," he said, demonstrating a few punches by striking at the air with both hands for her before raising his right hand again for her to use as a makeshift punching bag.

For the next several minutes she practiced her punches with both fists, noting that the power she was putting behind them had increased slightly. After a while they moved on to the next part of this impromptu lesson. "Do you know where to aim for when punching?" Bucky checked, finally lowering his hand with a nod of approval.

Katherine thought for a moment. "I'm guessing nose or throat, don't go for the mouth because you'll hurt yourself on their teeth," she said, thinking it through.

"Good girl," he rasped, the unexpected compliment making her lower stomach flip slightly; he was evidently more pleased with how she was getting along now. "You can also go for the solar plexus, stomach, knees or groin. Don't just use your fists either, use your feet, knees, elbows - whatever you can to gain an advantage."

She nodded her understanding and he spent the next few minutes teaching her several different ways to block a punch, swinging his fist towards her face in careful slow motion as she blocked them though always warning her first. He then showed her a pattern and they practised some blocking and punching at a slow pace so that she could get the movements, essentially having a basic sparring match in three-quarter time.

Getting into it, she asked if they could go faster but he staunchly refused - this was a training session, her first one at that, and he said he was not going to push her too far or too fast lest he end up hurting her. She didn't think she'd ever seen him so talkative, quietly correcting her stance and posture as they slowly moved through the patterns he dictated, and she found herself enjoying the impromptu sparring much more than she'd expected.

Eventually they came to a halt; Katherine was slightly out of breath despite the slow pace they had been sparring at, but nevertheless she grinned at him as they stopped. "We'll keep practicing, every day," Bucky said in a tone that brooked no arguments, lowering his hands with a determined nod.

"What?" she said, blinking at him once more - she had thought that this was a one of. What had she just signed up for? "Why?"

"Hydra has you on their watch list," he explained simply, making a valid point as they headed back to the cabin together; he then raised his eyebrows at her ever so slightly. "And if aliens do invade as often as you say, these skills may just save your life."

* * *

Bucky violently awoke from yet another nightmare, sweating and shaking. His breath was coming in great gasps as he sat up and immediately looked over at the closed bedroom door, wondering if he had woken Katherine by shouting out. He jerked his head sharply to try and rid himself of the lingering vestiges of his nightmare (the sense of being restrained, acute pain and feeling so very, very _cold_ ) and got to his feet. Silently, he crossed the cabin and slowly cracked open the bedroom door to peer inside.

Katherine was sleeping soundly; she was laying on her back with the covers pushed down to her waist. The dim light of the dying bedroom fire caught on the shimmering silk of her nightdress as her chest slowly rose and fell with each deep breath. Her hair was spread out over the pillow, one arm up beside her head with her fingers loosely curled and her dark lashes just brushing her cheeks.

He moved into the room and added another few logs to the fire in the bedroom, knowing full well how cold the cabin got once the fires went out, then approached the bed on silent feet. Carefully, he pulled the duvet up higher to cover her from the chilled night air, taking care not to touch her. She shifted at the movement, but didn't wake, giving a sleepy sigh and curling up on her side, burrowing beneath the covers as she continued to sleep peacefully.

He looked down at her for a long moment; he wondered if she had any notion that he checked on her almost every night after he inevitably woke up screaming. When they'd first come to the cabin he'd simply sat outside her bedroom door after his nightmares, keeping watch, but after several long, dark nights sat on the cabin floor his torn up mind had convinced himself that he couldn't hear her breathing within the room and so he'd started opening the door to check on her, and from there building up the fire while she slept so that she'd be warm enough. He had a fierce need to know that she was safe, particularly after a nightmare. She had become his lodestone, his source of comfort and clarity, keeping his darker thoughts at bay.

Bucky gave a quiet sigh and slipped back out of the room, softly closing the door behind him once more, unable to justify staying any longer. His head was still swirling with the remnants of his nightmare and he knew he would get no more rest that night. He looked at the single, tangled blanket on the sofa and shook his head slightly before folding it neatly and leaving it at the end of the sofa - Katherine had voiced the opinion the other day that this was a lingering habit from his army days, but he had no memories to support that.

He donned his jacket over the plain t-shirt that he wore to sleep in and pulled on his boots before heading outside. The air was freezing cold, his breath coming out white as he stepped out of the warm cabin. Light from the thin, crescent moon caught on the frozen white lake. The icy landscape was deserted, void of life but not of movement; a strong wind had picked up in the night and was stirring the trees, shaking snow from the heavy boughs as it howled and moaned in the darkness. Clouds were gathering in the distance over the mountains, signs of bad weather approaching, but above him the sky was clear and bright with thousands upon thousands of stars; he didn't know why, but here the stars seemed brighter and more numerous here than anywhere else he remembered.

There was a wrap-around porch at the front of the cabin that had a snow-covered, wooden railing around it. He leant against it and looked out at the gathering storm as he tried to calm his mind after his nightmare. They were safe, he reminded himself. Hydra was far away, he was working on reclaiming his buried memories and Katherine was sleeping peacefully … _they were safe_ , he told himself again.

 _For now,_ the soldier in his mind whispered darkly, and he found that he couldn't disagree.

* * *

It was the creaking of the trees in the wind outside that woke Katherine up late in the night. She lay still for a long moment, warm and cosy with the covers pulled up to her chin, listening to the noises outside. It was dark, the room lit only by the quietly crackling flames of the fire that she had built up before going to bed.

The noise of the wind was stopping her from getting back to sleep, so after a while she sat up and decided to go and get a glass of water from the bathroom.

She padded to the bedroom door and eased it open as quietly as she could, not wanting to disturb Bucky if he was sleeping - she needn't have worried, however, the sofa was conspicuously empty, with the single blanket he habitually used still folded neatly at the end.

Her lips parted as she stared around the dark, disturbingly empty cabin, the main fire having long since burned down to a few orange embers. "... Bucky?" she whispered, her voice coming out croaky as fear started to bubble up inside her when she saw absolutely no sign of him.

Panicked, she quickly dashed to the front door, wanting to check if the truck was still outside or if he had taken it and left. Freezing cold air hit her body as she opened the door and stumbled out onto the wrap-around porch of the cabin, only to immediately sigh in relief when she saw Bucky outside. He was leant against the railing of the porch towards one corner of the cabin; he had been looking out over the frozen lake and trees, but immediately straightened up and turned to face her as she came tumbling out of the cabin.

"Are you alright?" he asked quickly, approaching her quickly and seizing her roughly by the shoulders to look her over, his concern evident.

"I - I thought you were gone," Katherine replied, starting to feel very foolish indeed for her over-reaction. She was already shivering violently from the cold outside, having come bursting out of the cabin in just her thin, silken nightdress which was hardly adequate for the middle of the night in a Canadian winter. She could feel her nipples pebbling in the freezing air and wrapped her arms tightly around herself, both for warmth and to cover herself up.

Bucky was frowning down at her as she shivered, the corners of his mouth turned distinctly downwards beneath the thick stubble that coated his jaw. "What are you talking about?" he asked, uncomprehending; he was still holding tightly onto her shoulders, his voice a quiet rasp and his brows drawn together.

She looked down and shook her head, wrapping her arms even tighter around her trembling body and wanting nothing more than to just go back inside and crawl back into bed. "It's stupid," she told him, avoiding his eyes and feeling embarrassed by how worried she'd been. "I woke up and came to get a drink of water and - and you weren't there."

"So you decided to run outside in just your nightdress?" he asked disapprovingly; he released her shoulders, his gloved hands ghosting ever so slightly over her upper arms as he did so, and moved passed her to the cabin door, which she had left open in her haste. He reached inside and grabbed her coat from the hook by the door, holding it out to her so that she could slip her arms inside.

"Oh hush," she chided, wrapping the coat gratefully around herself and hoping that her blush wasn't evident in the darkness. Bucky also collected her snow boots from inside the cabin as well so that she was no longer quite so cold, the wooden floor of the awning feeling like ice beneath her toes; he crouched down to help her slip her bare feet into the boots one by one, his large hands dwarfing her feet. "What are you doing out here anyway?" she wanted to know as he worked, drawing her hood up for extra warmth and peering down at him from beneath the faux-fur lining.

He grimaced at her as he straightened up, moving to lean on the railing once more. "Just ... thinking," he replied evasively. She came to join him at the wooden railing of the awning and looked up at him, a silent question in her eyes. "I've only been sleeping an hour or so at a time," he added, confirming her suspicion that he still wasn't getting nearly enough sleep.

"Nightmares?" she asked quietly, having been woken up more than once by the sound of loud, pained screaming since they'd arrived, not to mention the disarray in the living room a few mornings ago. He nodded grimly, his eyes fixed out over the frozen lake; the porch of the cabin was lit only by the faint light of the moon on the snow, casting his face into an almost grey light, making him look almost ghostly. "What do you do the rest of the time?" she wanted to know.

Bucky shrugged slightly and made a half gesture around them, as if to say _this_ , this is what he did for the rest of the time.

"That sounds …"

"Peaceful," he finished for her, making her look at him in surprise since that hadn't been the word she was thinking of.

He turned and met her eyes, no doubt sensing her surprised gaze on him. "Do you know how I spent my time between missions when I was with Hydra?" he asked after a long moment of silence. He seemed unusually verbose; perhaps the darkness and almost surreal quality to the cold landscape made him feel more comfortable speaking than in the light of day.

"I … I'm not sure I want to know," she said slowly, dreading his answer.

Bucky jerked his head once, as if to agree with her. "I'll spare you the details, but trust me when I say that simply watching the snow falling or listening to logs burn on the fire is a significant improvement."

She slowly nodded her understanding and the two of them spent several long, quiet minutes simply looking out at their alpine surroundings. "Wind's picking up," Katherine murmured eventually as the trees creaked ominously around them, the sound that had originally woken her.

"There's a storm coming," he replied in a neutral voice, agreeing with her; his gaze was still fixed out across the frozen lake and forest. "We're going to have bad weather tomorrow."

She shivered again, pulling the coat tighter around herself - she was still freezing despite the layers and wondered how Bucky was so unbothered by the cold, wearing just a black coat over a t-shirt and navy pyjama bottoms. "I'm heading back inside," she said after a moment, wanting to get back into her warm bed. She glanced back at him as she hovered in the doorway of the cabin, still leaning casually against the railing with flakes of snow in his hair. "Are you staying out?"

He nodded, silhouetted against the white of the snow. "For now," he rasped, sounding surprisingly comfortable simply watching the approaching storm. He looked over his shoulder at her and gave her a long look; his mouth was relaxed into a soft line, not quite a smile but by no means a frown either. "Sleep well, Katya."

* * *

 **Leave a review, my lovelies :)**


	7. Bang

"Katya," Bucky said, breaking the comfortable silence that had lingered between them for several hours since dinner; Katherine looked up from where she was curled on the sofa with her legs folded beneath her, her laptop balanced on her thighs.

Bucky was sat at the table with several guns that he had once again been dismantling, checking and cleaning laid out before him - she had the distinct impression that it was an activity that he found calming after her attempt at using gun assembly as a metaphor after one of his nightmares. He had his eyes trained down to the table, focused on his work with a frown of concentration on his face; he no doubt sensed when she looked up and simply flicked two fingers at her without raising his head, indicating that she should come over.

Putting her laptop to one side, she got up and padded over to him, the thick socks on her feet making her almost silent as she crossed the cabin. He had moved all of the guns but one to the middle of the table, leaving a single handgun in front of him, the smallest one in his little collection. Bucky finally looked up as she stood beside him and nodded at her to sit down next to him, absently pulling the chair back for her.

"This here is a Ruger p95 9mm. It's a semi-automatic, large frame pistol," he told her plainly, picking up the gun and turning it over so that she could see it. "Now watch," he ordered, then slowly, methodically, took apart the gun piece by piece.

Katherine found her eyes fixed on both of his hands as they moved, noting that he lost no dexterity with his metal fingers. He rarely wore his gloves when he was inside and so his metal hand was fully exposed to her; she hadn't really had a chance to look at it up close and so she was quietly fascinated by watching the way the small, metal plates moved and shifted together as he worked. It was less than a minute until he had the gun completely dismantled (though she was certain that he could have done it in seconds if he wanted to) and all the pieces laid out in a neat line on the table.

He glanced at her when he was finished, as if making sure that she was still paying attention, and then started to reassemble the gun piece by piece, equally slowly - it was almost mesmerizing to watch.

He held it out to her once he was finished. "Your turn," he said simply, expectantly.

"What?" she said in surprise, making no move to take it, her voice coming out as a faint squeak.

"You should know how a gun works before you fire it," he replied, still holding it out to her. "It's got a weighted balance and low recoil, so it's an ideal weapon for you to start with. Once you're familiar with it I want you to carry it with you any time you leave the cabin."

Apparently firearms were next on his list of things to teach her as part of the training he'd started several days ago. Hesitantly, she took the gun in her hand, only having held one twice before, when she had been curled up in the footwell of the car during the Hydra attack and when she had handed him the rifle to dismantle after his violent nightmare, and looked at it carefully, unsure of where to start. She risked a hesitant glance up at Bucky, finding him watching her expectantly, and tried to mimic what she'd seen him doing.

He had made it look smooth and effortless, but it was much trickier than it looked. She fumbled with the gun for several minutes, not even managing to get the first part free, before he took pity on her.

"Watch me again," he said quietly, taking the gun from her and showing her how to take the first part off. "This part here is called the slide, within it is the barrel of the gun and the recoil spring …"

For the next few minutes he carefully took the gun apart for her once more, this time telling her the name of each part, what they did and how they fit together. He made sure to show her exactly how each of the parts detached, his eyes darting up occasionally to check that she was following.

Once he was finished he offered it to her once again. This time she was able to dismantle the gun, but it took her at least three minutes. Nevertheless, he nodded his satisfaction once she had all of the pieces laid out on the table, then indicated that she had to put it back together as well.

She did so, with less difficulty than when she had been dismantling it, and after a minute she was handing the gun back to him to check over. "Good girl," he praised, then handed it back to her once more. "Now do it again, quicker this time."

The next hour or so was spent with her repeatedly dismantling and reassembling the gun until she could do it in less than a minute. On the final time he paused her with the fingers of his flesh hand briefly touching hers when she had it dismantled, showing her how to clean each part before she put it back together for the final time.

He nodded his satisfaction once more as she handed the gun back to him for the last time. "If the weather is good enough we'll start shooting tomorrow," he told her simply and Katherine exhaled a breath as he stood up to start putting the rest of the guns away in their hiding places around the cabin, wondering if this was going to be a good idea.

* * *

The following morning found the two of them in the same small clearing where he'd given her her first self-defense training session and where they had practised every day since. They were both wrapped in coats and hats, their breath steaming and their boots crunching in the snow, but Bucky had insisted that she not wear gloves, explaining that the wool was slippery and would make holding the gun harder. As such, she was blowing on her hands and rubbing them together to warm them as he set up the target - a wide trunked tree that he was using his knife to carve a large circle in, with two smaller circles within to make a bullseye.

Finished, he stalked back towards where she was waiting, leaving a line of prints in the snow. He pulled the same gun she had dismantled and reassembled several times the night before out of his waistband. She watched as he effortly unclipped the magazine and pocketed it.

"Isn't that where the bullets come from?" she asked curiously as he handed the unloaded gun to her, wondering how she was going to fire the gun without it.

"We only have a limited supply of ammo so I want to be sure you know the correct grip and positioning before you fire, I don't want to waste what we do have," he explained practically, clearly anticipating that she was not going to be very good at this. He then jerked his chin at her. "Show me your stance."

Hesitantly, she raised the gun in one hand and pointed it towards the target.

Bucky immediately frowned and stepped forward to correct her. "Both hands," he told her, bringing her left hand up to hold the gun as well. "Face forward," he added, turning her shoulders to that she was facing the target, her arms making a triangle in front of her. He walked around her, scrutinising her carefully. "Widen your stance," he ordered, nudging her leg with his foot.

Katherine blinked at him, not entirely sure what he meant.

When she didn't move he simply crouched down and pulled her legs slightly further apart - she wobbled slightly and he steadied her with an absent minded hand on her inner thigh, just above her knee, as he straightened up. He looked over her stance once more and nodded his satisfaction.

"Find the centre of the target, keep both eyes open," he told her; she did so, aware of him moving behind her. Suddenly, her back was pressed loosely to his front as he reached around her to adjust the gun by a few millimeters. "Now," he said, his deep voice right in her ear as he released her fingers. "Practise firing."

" _Bang_!" she said loudly, squeezing the trigger.

To her surprise, Bucky made a noise that sounded like an amused snort. "What did you forget?" he wanted to know as he walked around to the side of her, one corner of his mouth tugging minutely upwards.

"The … bullets?" she hazarded as a guess since he'd removed the magazine; he shook his head and tapped part of the gun with a single, metal finger. "The safety," she said, correcting herself with a sigh, realising that the safety was still on and so the gun wouldn't have fired.

"Try again," he ordered, jerking his chin at her.

She raised the gun, clicked off the safety and squeezed the trigger once more. " _Bang_!" she said loudly again, having got the distinct impression that he'd found it funny before and wanting to see if she could make his mouth twitch again.

Bucky took the gun from her hand and slid the magazine back into it. "This is now loaded," he reminded her pointedly as he handed it back to her and she took it gingerly. "We're only going to do a few rounds."

"Right, don't want to waste ammo," she repeated, slowly taking her stance once more, the gun pointed at the tree - once again, Bucky reached around her from behind to adjust her aim by a few millimeters before stepping back.

"Fire when ready," he said - Katherine took a deep breath and held it as she clicked off the safety and fired the gun for the first time, jumping slightly at the recoil in her hands as it went off with a deafening bang.

She lowered the gun, squinting towards the tree. Sure enough, she could make out a distinct chip in the wood - no way near the centre of the target, but within the large circle nevertheless. "I hit it!" she said, looking at Bucky excitedly.

He had his eyebrows ever so slightly raised, his arms folded across his chest. "You could say that," he said in a neutral voice, evidently not overly impressed but apparently trying not to be discouraging.

"Oh hush," she chided him good-naturedly as she took her stance and raised the gun to aim it at the tree again. "It's my first time, be nice."

"You're holding your breath as you fire," Bucky said in his lecturing voice, stepping closer to her once more and helping her adjust her aim. "This time exhale as you squeeze the trigger." She nodded her understanding, holding her position. "Fire"

She did so, exhaling and this time anticipating the recoil and not jumping - wood splintered from the tree as the bullet struck it, slightly closer to the centre of the target. She turned to him with another proud grin, somewhat surprised at the rush of adrenaline that was flooding through her at the activity, never having thought that shooting was something that she'd enjoy.

"Not bad," he allowed, giving her a nod and holding out his hand for the gun. "For a beginner."

Her proud grin lingered as he took it from her. "You like this, don't you?" she guessed, noting how calm and relaxed he seemed out in the snow with a gun in his hands. His eyes flicked curiously up to her and she elaborated. "The exhibit said you were a sniper, guns are kinda your thing, aren't they?"

"I guess so," he replied, thoughtfully turning the gun over in his hands.

"You must be a really good shot," she said absently, thinking of all the other guns he had stored around the cabin and how much he seemed to enjoy taking them apart and reassembling them.

He raised his brows at her, evidently taking this as a challenge of some sort. With his grey-blue gaze still locked on hers, he raised the gun and sent a single, deafening shot towards the tree she had used as a target without even looking. Sure enough, the wood splintered in the dead centre of the bullseye.

"Well _damn_ ," Katherine said with a slight laugh, more than a little impressed in spite of herself. "Now that's just showing off."

* * *

Katherine was woken once again by the sound of loud yelling in Russian from the living room. She immediately sat up in bed, staring at the bedroom door. She knew well enough that she shouldn't go out there, but the yelling continued. Normally he woke up and fell eerily silent, but tonight the screaming was growing louder and louder until it was a hoarse, roaring that sounded utterly pained.

Making a decision, she crept to the door and inched it open, peeking in to the living room. From the dying embers of the fire she could make out Bucky's form on the sofa, his frame locked and rigid as he shouted in the grips of whatever nightmare held him. "Bucky!" she called out to him, taking care not to leave the bedroom, ready to slam the door closed if she needed to. "Bucky, wake up!"

He jerked upright with a knife in his hands, his breaths coming in great gasps. He looked at her in the doorway, poised to throw the knife, and then groaned, dropping the knife to the floor with a clatter and lowering his head into his hands. She watched him take several deep, shuddering breaths through his fingers. "Go back to sleep, I'm fine," he told her eventually, his voice faintly muffled by his hands.

"The hell you are," Katherine shot back instantly; without thinking, she crossed the room, sat down next to him and put her hand on his back with the aim of providing comfort.

He tensed at her touch, his shoulders stiff and shaking.

She suddenly wondered if she was doing the right thing - only for him to turn and pull her closer. He took her in his arms, his hands on her back, clutching her tightly to him as if the world depended on it. His forehead was now resting on her shoulder as he continued to gasp for breath and she could feel his every exhale on the skin of her collarbone. She bought her hands around to lay on his shoulders and back, moving them soothingly up and down as he shuddered occasionally against her.

Katherine bit her lip, looking up at the ceiling of the cabin as she continued to move her hands slowly, comfortingly, over the black material of his t-shirt, feeling where metal met skin on his left shoulder beneath the fabric. She had noticed that there were times when he seemed to have some kind of aversion to touch, particularly if he wasn't expecting it; she'd seen him flinch once or twice if she brushed into him by mistake. It was hardly surprising, she doubted that he had been touched with kindness or affection much over the past seventy years.

That said, he was probably also starved of it for the same reason, if the way he had gripped her hand a few days ago and the way he was holding her now was any indication. She had also noticed that he seemed to take opportunities to touch her - helping her put her boots on, sparring together or standing behind her to adjust her aim as she'd practiced shooting. She had once read that humans _needed_ touch to survive, to function properly, and in that moment she decided to try and touch him as much as possible.

She moved one of her hands to toy with the ends of his long, jagged hair and he turned his head towards her neck in response. He let out a deep, shuddering sigh, sounding like he was trying hard to regain control after his lingering nightmare. "Shh, I've got you," she said quietly as his breath scorched the sensitive skin of her throat, moving one hand up and down the strong muscles of his shoulder blades while the other smoothed over his hair.

They stayed like that for a long time, with him simply holding her tightly, before Bucky drew back slightly. He looked at her intently, his eyes unreadable, making no move to release her and keeping her in the circle of his arms. "You should go back to bed," he suggested once more, his voice deep and rusty.

Katherine gave him a small smile and shook her head, the fingers that had been in his hair moving to push some of the long, jaggedly cut strands out of his eyes. "Sun's coming up," she replied, glancing at one of the living room windows, where there were glimpses of a blushing lavender sky through the curtains. She looked back at him, meeting his light blue gaze as the backs of her fingers lingered near his cheek. Despite knowing what she did about his past, she couldn't help but notice that he had a handsome face, though he was a dire need of a shave, or at least a trim, his ever-growing beard making him look rather like a wild-man. "Do you want a cup of coffee?" she offered, smiling at both him and her thoughts.

Bucky nodded slowly and she disentangled herself from his arms to go to the kitchen to boil water. To her faint surprise, he followed her and started pulling out pans to start cooking breakfast again.

They moved around the kitchen and each other in a quiet, harmonious dance. It was only when she passed Bucky his cup of coffee and his eyes darted briefly downwards as he took it from her that she remembered that she was still dressed in just the creamy, form-fitting silk nightdress, having dashed into the living room without bothering to dress. Blushing and mumbling something about being cold, she slipped away to the bedroom to get dressed.

Later, after breakfast, she saw Bucky retrieving some of the Canadian dollars from one of their hiding places. "You're going to town?" she asked him; he nodded in response, not looking at her. "I want to come too," she added, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet.

He looked up and frowned faintly at her. "Why?" he wanted to know.

"There are things I want to get," Katherine replied, giving him a slight shrug with one shoulder.

"What things?" he pressed, still frowning.

She shrugged once again. "Things for the cabin, washing up liquid, bin liners and the like," she listed, having been thinking of things that they would need. "Certain foods for particular meals I want to cook. Then there's other things too," she added; he looked at her blankly and she minutely raised her brows at him. "Ladies things," she elaborated; her period was due in a few days and there was no way in hell she was asking this decades out of time, super soldier assassin to buy tampons for her.

He nodded at her. "Very well," he agreed with far less argument than she had expected, and within fifteen minutes they were in the truck and driving away from the cabin, ploughing through the freshly fallen snow that lined the narrow road.

Throughout the whole hour long drive to town Bucky drilled her on where all of the cameras were in the outlet store they were heading to, making her say it back to him until she could repeat everything that he had said word for word. They eventually pulled up into a largely empty car park of the medium sized department store and he handed her $200 in cash, his cap pulled down low over his eyes. "Buy anything that you want, hopefully we'll be here another few weeks at least," he said, surprising her slightly - she briefly wondered where they'd go next when they did eventually move on.

He wanted to go to the hardware store down the road and so, after making her repeat the locations of the cameras one last time, he told her he would be back in an hour and drove off, leaving her there.

Wearing her Canadian maple leaf cap once more and being careful to keep her head down, Katherine collected a trolley and headed into the store. It wasn't as large or modern as the shops she was used to, this being the remote Canadian outback, but it was big enough and seemed to have everything she would need. She went and stocked up on food first; Bucky had proved himself to be a prolific fisherman and hunter, and so their freezer was well stocked, so she limited herself to breakfast foods, vegetables, pastas, sauces and herbs, trying to get as much long-life, non-perishable food as possible since she didn't know how often he was willing to go to town. After partially filling the trolley with food she started on other essentials for the cabin; washing up liquid, bin liners, toilet roll, laundry detergent and the like.

She then moved on to stocking up on toiletries; the cabin had been stocked only with basic soap and she was desperate to wash her hair properly, not having been able to do so for nearly two weeks now. She grinned to herself when she managed to find her customary shampoo and conditioner brand, flipping open the lid to inhale deeply of the citrus scent, the familiar smell deeply comforting. She also put more toothpaste, deodorant, chamomile body wash and, on a whim, a dark red nail varnish in the trolley as well.

Katherine hesitated in the mens toiletry section, then shrugged slightly and started loading the trolley with a pine-scented shower gel and shampoo combo, men's deodorant, a small pair of scissors that could be used to trim a beard, shaving foam and razors.

Afterwards she wandered around the store, taking care to keep her head down to avoid the cameras. She paused thoughtfully in the stationary section and added a handful of books that she thought Bucky might like, followed by a couple of notebooks and pack of pens.

Aware that her hour was nearly up, she paid for her purchases, not engaging the cashier in conversation, and headed outside. Bucky was already there, the truck idling on the curb as he waited for her. If he was surprised by the amount that she had purchased then he gave no indication. Wordlessly, he got out of the truck and helped her load the bags in the back, covering them with the tarp. Before long they were back on the snowy roads again, heading back to the cabin with the radio that Bucky had turned on as she got in the car covering the comfortable silence between them.

Soon they were back at the cabin and Bucky helped her unload the bags. They were stood in the kitchen, sorting through things to put away, when he gave a faint snort. "Are you trying to give me a hint about something?" he asked her; she glanced up and saw that he was holding the pack of razors she had bought for him. His expression was blank, yet there was a glint of what seemed to be … _amusement_ in his eyes.

Katherine gave him a wry grin as she unpacked one of the other bags. "Nothing wrong with a bit of scruff, or even a beard, but you're starting to look like a wild man," she told him teasingly, and Bucky thoughtfully ran his gloved metal hand over his lower face in response.

"I … I got you these too," Katherine added after a moments hesitation, holding out the two notebooks to him that she had just unpacked. He took them slowly, one in each hand, looking down at them. She tapped the cover of the dark blue one that he held in his flesh hand. "I ...I thought you could use this one to write down memories as you get them, might help to keep things organised."

There was a long pause, then he half raised the other slim, black notebook in his metal hand. "And this one?"

She bit her lower lip, letting it drag slowly through her teeth. "I … I understand that you don't want to talk to me about your nightmares, but writing them down might help, kind of like catharsis," she said, half raising one shoulder. He was looking at her intently and she gave him a small, half smile, hoping that she had done the right thing in getting him the notebooks. "Even if you don't like the idea, I wanted you to have an option that kept the nightmares separate to the memories."

He nodded slowly, his gaze fixed on her. "Thank you," he said quietly, earnestly, then seemed to rouse himself from his thoughts. "I have something for you too," he added, turning to look in one of the bags he'd bought.

"You do?" she said, blinking in surprise at the idea of him having gotten her something, and from the hardware store no less.

He nodded and tossed a small, surprisingly heavy box her way - she fumbled as she caught it. "Don't say I never gave you anything," he said dryly as she turned the box over in her hands, realising that it was a box of 9mm ammo, the kind that would fit the gun he'd given her. "We'll keep you practicing on shooting tomorrow," he said, sounding rather pleased with himself.

"Right," Katherine said with a slight laugh, shaking her head and more than a little entertained at his idea of a gift.

* * *

The following day Bucky stood beneath the hot, pounding spray of the large shower in the cabin, staring hard at the toiletries that had appeared on the shelf since his last shower. Some of them were clearly feminine, but there was also a masculine hair and body wash that he certainly hadn't bought for himself. Curious (and more than a little wary) he opened it and sniffed; it smelt of pine, reminding him of the forest outside. He shrugged slightly and poured a small amount onto his palm before lathering it up. It was certainly better than the plain bar of soap that he had been using and he made a mental note to thank Katherine for her thoughtfulness.

Finished in the shower, he turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist. He paused at the fogged-up bathroom mirror over the sink, using his flesh hand to wipe away the steam in order to look at his reflection. His gaze lingered on the raised, red scar tissue where metal met flesh before lifting to his frowning face. Normally he tended to avoid mirrors, but now he found himself staring intently into his own eyes, trying to find a trace of the man he had been before in his reflection.

His eyes looked hollow and haunted, the black circles beneath them evidence of his continually disturbed rest. His hair hung long and jagged around his face, dripping from his shower, and a thick beard covered his jaw - Katherine was right in saying that he was starting to look like a wild man.

Thoughtfully, he ran his hand over the lower half of his face once more as he looked in the mirror. He had been clean shaven or carrying only light stubble in all of the pictures he had seen of himself in the exhibit. He picked up one of the razors that Katherine had bought him, twirling it between his fingers like he would do a knife.

He remembered shaving as the soldier, when he had been with Hydra; there had been a small sink with an age-spotted mirror above it in the corner of whatever cell he'd slept in whenever he wasn't in cryo between missions, but he'd never been given shaving foam or toiletries or hot showers.

A few minutes later his jaw was lathered in the shaving foam Katherine had bought for him and he was tilting his chin back ready to draw the razor up his neck.

Another thought floated to the top of his mind; a vague memory of being sat outside in the snow, shaving using a canteen of melt-water and a small, cracked mirror that another man was holding for him as he grumbled about not having shaving cream, most likely a memory from the Second World War.

He paused at the memory, his eyes locked on his own in the mirror and the razor poised in his hand.

Both Sergeant James Barnes and the Winter Soldier had been clean shaven for the most part - but he wasn't either of those men any more, not exactly, and so it was a very deliberate decision to put down the razor and run the tap to scrub off the shaving foam.

Once his jaw was foam free once more he picked up a small pair of bathroom scissors from the medicine cabinet and started trimming his beard instead. Before long he was running the tap once again to get rid of the hairs that had collected in the sink and wiping away the last lingering bits of the shaving foam with a small hand towel to examine the finished result - his facial hair was not as long as it had been, but it was distinctly neater and tidier.

Feeling quietly satisfied, Bucky put the scissors back into a small cup beside the sink that held a pair of different coloured toothbrushes and headed out of the bathroom with the towel still around his waist.

He found Katherine in the bedroom; she was sat in the centre of the large bed with her laptop open beside her. She wasn't working though, she was leaning forwards to paint her toenails, wads of tissue between her toes to separate them out.

She looked up and did a double take as he entered the room. "Huh," she said, blinking and sounding surprised as she took in his neatly trimmed beard, the nail polish frozen in her hand. The sight reminded him of something else about the forties, that women would match the colours of their nails and lipstick; it was an inconsequential memory, but it was another one for the notebook nevertheless - two memories in one day was good progress and he would write them down as soon as he was dressed. "You look good."

He glanced at her as he went to the wardrobe but didn't reply; he noticed that her eyes had travelled down his torso and then flicked to his metal arm. "Though I'm not saying you didn't look good before, I certainly didn't have anything against the beard, but this is a more … you know, I'm just going to stop talking," she said quickly, rather uncharacteristically babbling as she averted her eyes and returned to painting her nails with a faint, intriguing blush evident high on her cheekbones.

Bucky pulled a black t-shirt over his head and looked at her thoughtfully; a small part of him was still certain that her occasional strange behaviour meant something, something that the Bucky Barnes of the forties would have been able to identify with ease, but now for the life of him he couldn't say what that might be.

* * *

 **Leave a review, my darlings :)**


	8. Sleeping and waking

Bucky and Katherine had been at the cabin for nearly three weeks and had just about settled into a routine.

Katherine would wake up (inevitably finding Bucky already awake after whatever nightmares had woken him) and they would make breakfast, after which they would both tidy up and then go to the clearing where he would teach her sparring for an hour or so. After that Katherine would return to the cabin to work on her computer code for several hours, meanwhile Bucky would either chop wood, go hunting or fishing or simply walk the perimeter he'd set for them around the cabin. He would then return to the cabin to find that Katherine had normally already made lunch for them, her long hair damp from the shower she took after sparring. The afternoon consisted of shooting practice, after which she would carry on coding and he would walk the perimeter once more to make sure nothing had been drawn to them by the sound of gunfire, then they would have dinner and a quiet evening in the cabin.

Bucky found the new routine familiar, predictable and comforting. Whenever he'd been out of cryofreeze as the soldier his life and training at Hydra had been a fixed and rigid schedule; their life in the cabin had the very same stability he needed, without any of the pain or isolation.

There were still bad days, as Katherine had dubbed them, of course - days when the soldier was at the forefront of his mind and his thoughts were dark, but they were fewer and far between.

On those days he wrestled with the part of him that wanted to leave the cabin and hunt down Hydra - whether do destroy them or join them once more, he wasn't sure. He wanted revenge, payment for the years, the will, the pain and the memories they had stolen from him, but he also craved the orders and cold stability they'd provided that had been all that he'd known, like an addict recovering from a drug they knew was bad for them.

He would often find himself staring intently at Katherine when he was in this dark mood to remind himself of just how much he now had to lose.

Night had fallen and Bucky was returning to the cabin after having completed his circuit of the perimeter after their shooting lesson that afternoon. He paused to look at the cabin, noting the bright light behind the curtained windows and smoke rising from the chimney - a familiar, _homey_ sight. The soldier in his mind would have preferred that they didn't light fires at all, but he'd rationalised that a dark, seemingly unoccupied cabin surrounded by fresh prints could well draw more suspicion than one that was lit up as if holiday-makers were cosying up there if anyone were to pass by.

As he approached, his boots crunching in the fresh snow, he heard music playing from within the cabin, which was not an uncommon occurrence, but this time it was accompanied by singing.

Slowly, he pushed the door open and looked inside.

Katherine was standing at the stove, her long hair tied up with loose strands escaping all over. She was stirring something in a pot on the stove that smelt delicious and dancing - if it could be called that, it certainly looked nothing like the memories of quick footsteps and twirling that the sight of her and prompted to rise to the surface of his mind - to the music as she sung along, swaying and sashaying her hips to the beat.

" _Wish that I could stay forever this young, not afraid to close my eyes_ ," she sung with her back to him, sounding distinctly off-key but apparently not caring in the slightest, something that made one corner of his mouth tug distinctly upwards in amusement. " _Life's a game made for everyone, and love is the prize_."

She spun around, using the thick socks on her feet to get a good spin on the floor. " _So wake me up when it's_ -" She saw him standing in the doorway of the cabin and immediately cut herself off midway through the song, stumbling and blinking in surprise. "Oh, hello," she said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear and looking ever so slightly sheepish as she lowered the spoon she'd been using as a microphone in her hand.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked her bemusedly from where he stood by the door of the cabin.

"Just -" she grinned and dove for her laptop on the kitchen counter, turning down the music that was still blaring loudly, "dancing," she told him with a faint shrug and a lingering look of embarrassment.

He raised an eyebrow at her as he came properly into the warm cabin, closing the door against the cold behind him. "I remember dancing, _that_ was not dancing," he insisted, removing his boots and hanging up his jacket.

Katherine blinked up at him, a slow smile spreading over her face once more at his words. "You remember dancing?" she asked as he joined her in the kitchen, her expression a mixture of happiness and yearning. "From the forties?"

"Vaguely," he replied - the memories were like flashes, impressions of hazy lights in smoky rooms, though he didn't doubt that he'd once been good at dancing.

"I would have loved to have seen it," she said wistfully; she sighed slightly, lost in thought, before shaking her head and grinning at him. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm rather glad that I live in an era of technology and feminism, but I love the idea of the _glamour_ of that time."

Bucky frowned slightly - his recently regained memories of the war and his imprisonment seemed anything _but_ glamorous. "It wasn't as glamorous as you think," he said wearily, feeling almost bad for dispelling this dreamy notion of hers.

"Probably not," she agreed easily, not seeming bothered by this in the slightest as she returned to the stove to continue cooking; she looked over her shoulder at him with an easy smile. "Dinner in half an hour?"

"I'll set the table," he said by way of agreement.

She started humming along once more to the music that was playing much quieter than before, seemingly utterly content, and Bucky paused to look back at her for a long moment as he set the table - no, he wasn't about to return to Hydra for any reason, not when he had _this_.

* * *

Katherine shifted and woke in the darkness in the middle of the night; it was utterly silent aside from the crackling of the fire in the bedroom and so she wasn't sure what had woken her. She was warm and cosy beneath the duvet and more than happy to simply roll over and go back to sleep. She sleepily turned and curled up on her side - only to freeze when she caught the glint of firelight reflected on metal in the darkness.

"Bucky?" she said, more than a little startled and sitting up quickly in bed.

He was sat in the shadows on the floor with his back braced against the closed bedroom door, one of his larger guns across his lap and a knife beside him. He seemed tense and watchful, his eyes fixed on the curtained window of the room - she had seen him like this before, when he was in what she had dubbed as 'soldier mode,' but never in her bedroom in the middle of the night. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips, sensing that she should tread carefully here. "Are you alright?" she asked quietly when he made no move to acknowledge her.

There was a long, pregnant pause, then in the darkness she could make out Bucky slowly nodding once without moving his gaze from the window.

She took another deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart - she wasn't scared of him, per se, trusting him not to hurt her on purpose, but he could be unpredictable when he was in this kind of mood. "What are you doing in here?" she questioned softly, feeling her hands shaking ever so slightly beneath the covers.

Another long pause followed, then when he eventually spoke his voice was rusty and monotonous. "I have to keep you safe," he said simply, still staring at the window.

Katherine wrapped her arms around her knees as she looked at him, biting her lip fiercely. "Did you have a nightmare?" she guessed, gazing at him.

After a long moment, he nodded once more, a single, slow jerk of his head without looking at her.

"Was it a memory?" she wanted to know, knowing that something had put him in this mood since their peaceful dinner earlier.

He hesitated, then she could make out a faint head shake in the darkness. "I … I dreamt that Hydra found us here," he told her in an eerily blank voice; his gaze then moved from the window to her, piercing her with his gaze. "I dreamt that they wiped me and then made me kill you."

She took a deep, shaking breath at his horrifying words. "It was just a dream," she said, the words sounding hollow even to her own ears; she was under no illusions that his description of his dream was exactly the kind of thing Hydra would do if they found them.

Bucky turned his gaze back to the window and shook his head once more, still sat with his back braced against the bedroom door. "It wasn't though - they are coming for us, they are looking." His hands visibly tightened on the gun he held, clicking off the safety as if he was expecting an attack any second. "I won't let them have you."

"Hey," she said very quietly, holding a hand out to him like one would to tempt a wild animal closer, knowing she had to do something to halt his train of thought. "Come here."

He turned and blinked at her, but otherwise didn't move.

"Come here," she repeated, moving over slightly to make room for him on the bed and tapping the covers with one hand in the universal symbol for sit down.

Slowly, hesitantly, he got to his feet, leaving the knife on the floor but bringing the gun with him, and came to sit down on the bed with his back against the headboard, still glancing warily at the window. Katherine touched his knee. "Look at me," she added softly, waiting for him to do so; he took a breath and turned to meet her eyes. She moved to cover his flesh hand with her own on the gun, letting her fingers trail lightly over the skin on the back of his hand. "We're safe here."

He shook his head, holding her eyes. "We can't stay here forever," he insisted with a frown, a distinct note of regret in his voice at the prospect of leaving the cabin; his hand abruptly shifted beneath hers, letting go of the gun so that he could squeeze her fingers too tightly in his. "We'll have to move on soon."

Katherine blinked and calmly laced their fingers together into a more comfortable, less grasping position. "Where will we go?" she wanted to know, knowing that she would go with him, that they were in this together.

"Alaska, perhaps," he replied in a rasping voice, breaking her gaze to look towards the softly crackling fire instead. "Get a cargo ship to Russia." He shrugged slightly as he stared into the flames, making no movement to release her hand. "Maybe Europe, I speak enough of the languages there for us to get by."

"How many languages do you speak?" she asked curiously, tilting her head at him.

"Several," he replied, his voice still slightly blank. "English, Russian, Romanian, German, Spanish, Japanese, Mandarin, Arabic ... I understand French, but I don't speak it well."

She hummed slightly, more than a little impressed. "I did French up to A-level, I'm fairly fluent," she told him, remembering the summers between university that she'd spent working on a resort to save money since her father was uninterested in spending time with her. She squeezed Bucky's fingers slightly and grinned at him. "In fact, I'd like to propose a deal," she said lightly.

He turned to look at her once more, a crease between his brows. "A deal," he repeated in a deadpan voice, evidently slightly suspicious of whatever she was about to propose.

"I could teach you French and you could teach me one of your languages," she suggested - there was a very long pause while Bucky simply stared at her, probably trying to figure out her motive. She gave him a coaxing smile, inclining her head towards him. "I could even teach you how to use my computer too, that'll probably be useful in the future," she added to sweeten the deal.

There was another long pause, then he eventually spoke. "Russian," he said simply, evidently agreeing to her proposal; she wasn't surprised that was the language he'd chosen, he'd told her that he sometimes thought in Russian and she would very likely need it if they did indeed end up in Russia.

"Oui, Russian," she agreed, then grinned at him, feeling playful enough to tease him a little. "C'est un accord, mon canard."

To her surprise, Bucky looked at her and she saw a distinct flash of white teeth in the darkness as one corner of his mouth tugged upwards. "Did you just call me a duck?" he asked in obvious bemusement, staring at her.

"Maybe," she allowed coyly, her grin lingering at his unexpected reaction. "French pet names are slightly ridiculous." He snorted slightly and shook his head as if in agreement, squeezing her fingers in turn in such a way that made her lower stomach flip. "And if I'm teaching you about computers then I want you to teach me how to dance as well, like they did in the forties," she added impulsively, remembering their conversation in the kitchen when he'd walked in on her dancing. "That's part of the deal now too."

"Since when?" Bucky asked, raising a single eyebrow at her.

She tilted her head towards him, an almost secretive look on her face even as her heart raced for a different reason entirely to when she had first woken up. "Since you almost smiled just now," she told him plainly, having been elated that she'd been able to coax such a response from him.

Bucky held her gaze for a long moment, then dropped his eyes. "I don't remember how to dance," he admitted, a hint of regret in his voice once more.

Katherine had half expected this - in fact she would have been astonished if he'd agreed. "Well, you can't blame a girl for trying," she said, giving him a last, lingering smile to let him know it was okay.

He returned her look with a nod and then there was a long, comfortable silence between them. "You should go back to sleep, I'm sorry for waking you," he said eventually - his tense and watchful mood seemed to have passed and he appeared much more relaxed now.

She nodded and settled back down beneath the covers; he made to disentangle their hands and get up from the bed, but she stopped him by keeping a grip on his fingers. "You can stay here if you want," she said, peeking up at him from beneath the duvet. "I know you won't sleep and it'll be more comfortable for you than sitting on the floor."

Bucky visibly hesitated, clearly thinking hard, then nodded. He sat back against the headboard with the gun across his lap and his eyes moving to the bedroom window once more.

"Bonne nuit," she said quietly as she closed her eyes, their hands the only part of them that were touching.

There was another pause, then Bucky spoke in the darkness from where he sat on the bed beside her, keeping watch and making sure she was safe. "доброй ночи, Katya," he said simply in Russian, squeezing her fingers ever so slightly in turn.

* * *

" _Sergeant Barnes," Zola said quietly, his voice deceptively soft and lilting; he leant over him, a look of happiness, contentment,_ hope _in his beady little eyes as he stared down at him strapped helplessly to the lab table. "You will be the new fist of Hydra."_

Bucky jerked awake in his makeshift bed on the sofa the following evening, instinctively swinging his metal arm towards where Zola had been looming over him - his fist met nothing but empty air and the momentum of the punch almost sent him tumbling off the sofa. Gasping, he sat up and put his head in his hands, trying to control his breathing.

After several long seconds he tore the blanket off himself and got to his feet, looking around the dark cabin; the fire was still burning, meaning that he'd probably been asleep for less than an hour.

He crossed over to Katherine's door and listened for a moment with his hand poised on the door handle, only to release it with a faint sigh before he opened it as he heard her shifting in the bed within. He wanted to go in, to sit with her and just listen to her deep, even breathing has he had done the night before, but he hadn't been invited to and did not want to take advantage of her - bad enough that he'd inadvertently woken her the night before by cocking the gun as he'd sat on the floor of her room to keep watch.

Instead, he turned to her laptop, which was sat innocently on the kitchen table from where she had been working on her code that afternoon. He sat down and pulled the small, slim computer towards him - he had long since worked out her password by watching her log on, but found that he had no desire to steal the computer as he had contemplated on their journey here if it meant leaving her behind.

He turned on the computer and logged on just as he'd seen her doing with slow, two fingered typing and, with a deep frown and no small amount of difficulty even after his first lesson on the computer earlier that afternoon, was able to pull up the decryption program that she was still running for him. The numerous, tiny green numbers were still flashing incomprehensibly across the screen, crunching through the billions of possible decryption possibilities and showing no sign of being any closer to a result.

Bucky was in two minds about the decryption program - on one hand he was desperate to access the files that were tantalisingly just out of his reach, knowing that they would contain a wealth of information that he needed, but on the other hand he suspected that the fragile peace, even contentment, that he had found with Katherine in these remote Canadian mountains would be shattered the moment the files decrypted.

He stared at the screen for several minutes, the shifting green numbers casting an eerie light over his face, before sighing once more and closing the laptop. He then got to his feet, collected both of the notebooks Katherine had bought for him from where they lay on the kitchen counter and put on his jacket before heading outside, savouring the cold bite of the frigid air on his skin as it helped blow away the cobwebs in his mind.

There was a low, snow covered bench on the small porch that wrapped around the cabin. He cleared it of snow and sat down, the slim, black notebook open on his knee as he started to write; it was the notebook he used to write his nightmares in, already nearly full after only a few days with pages upon pages, written in a mixture of English and Russian.

The memories notebook, which was depressingly lacking in comparison despite him having gone back and written down everything he had remembered since the helicarriers, he left on the bench beside him.

He wrote for several long minutes, the act of writing being a form of catharsis from his nightmares, before closing the black notebook and looking out at the still, frozen landscape.

After a while he picked up the memories notebook and started to thumb through it; he did this as often as he could, trying to reinforce the memories since they often slipped away like water through his fingers.

Writing them down had been a particularly good idea on Katherine's part and he was grateful to her for it.

He held a deep fear that someone would try to wipe his memories again and having this notebook meant that he wouldn't be starting from scratch - as such, the notebook had become his most precious possession.

He was rereading a memory (one about boiling food being one of the only means of preparation that had surfaced a few days ago when Katherine had cooked a deliciously seasoned and roasted grouse that he had shot) when a flash of green caught his eye. He quickly looked up and his lips parted in a gasp.

Ribbons of green light were arching and dancing across the clear night sky; some small part of him knew that it was a light display from the Arctic circle, which they were just within, so he figured that he must have read about at some point in the past in order to know about it now. He spent several long minutes simply staring up at the lights swirling in the sky before he glanced back at the door of the cabin - Katherine had always wanted to see Canada, surely she would want to see this too.

Bucky slipped back inside and headed straight through to the bedroom, opening the door silently and crossing the room. He knelt down beside the bed and stared at Katherine for a long moment. She was sleeping curled on her side, the covers drawn up right to her face with just the tip of her nose peeking out, her long lashes touching her cheeks.

"Katya," he said quietly, making no move to touch her.

She stirred slightly and rolled onto her back, revealing one shoulder from beneath the covers as she did so; the thin, spaghetti strap of her nightdress had slipped down her upper arm, bearing the smooth, creamy skin of her shoulder and collarbone to his gaze.

Cautiously, he reached out and gently touched Katherine's shoulder, lightly moving the strap back into place as he did so. "Katya, Katherine, wake up," he said softly again, feeling the warmth of her skin beneath the fingers of his flesh hand.

She gave a faint groan as she woke, moving her head to one side towards him. "What is it?" she mumbled, not truly awake, shifting beneath her covers.

"You need to come and see something," Bucky told her quietly, his flesh hand lingering on the warm skin of her shoulder.

She slowly blinked her hazel eyes open at him, a faint crease between her brows. "Can it wait until morning?" she wanted to know with a faint, sleepy whine, moving to curl up tightly on her side once more.

"No," he insisted, the corner of his mouth twitching ever so slightly as she closed her eyes, grumbled and turned her face into the pillow, clearly determined to ignore him. He tugged the cover from her, making her groan once more as the chilled air hit her body. "Come on," he added, gently pulling on her arm to get her out of bed.

She begrudgingly got up, wrapping her arms around her thin silk nightdress for warmth as she shivered. "Bucky, it's freezing," she complained as she padded barefoot after him into the living room, clearly more than a little disgruntled at having been woken. Not replying, he simply handed her her coat to put on over her night dress. She blinked at him as she took it, more awake now. "We're going outside?" she questioned in confusion, her expression throughly bewildered.

"Yes," he replied, bending down to help her slip her bare feet into her large snow boots before opening the cabin door and stepping aside for her to go out first.

She was still grumbling slightly under her breath as she moved passed him, only to then pause as she caught her first glimpse of the dancing night sky. " _Oh_ …" she said softly, her eyes going very wide indeed as she gazed upwards.

Her boots crunched faintly on the snow as she walked to the wooden railing that wrapped around the front deck of the cabin. She lightly rested her fingertips atop of it, her wide eyes trained up to the sky, seemingly uncaring of the cold now despite the exposed skin of her calves between her coat and boots. Bucky joined her at the railing, folding his arms and leaning against it. He found himself savouring her presence, exactly what he needed after the nightmare that had plagued him; his gaze moved between her and the green light dancing across the sky.

"Worth waking up for?" he asked after a long silence.

"Yeah," Katherine replied quietly with a small, dazed smile, the awe evident in her voice as she continued to gaze upwards. "I've always wanted to see the Northern Lights."

There was another long, comfortable silence between them as they watched the lights. Eventually, however, she shivered violently, not appropriately dressed to be outside in the middle of the night. Bucky gently laid a hand on her arm and tilted his head back towards the cabin, indicating that they should go back inside; giving the sky one last lingering, longing look, she followed him back into the cabin.

The living room felt gloriously warm after being back inside, though nevertheless he moved to add more logs to the fire. Katherine, meanwhile, had shed her coat and was in the kitchen, filling the kettle. "I think I'm too excited to go back to sleep straight away," she explained, her tone quiet, content and happy. "I was going to make a hot chocolate, I bought some in town the other day but we haven't had it yet. Would you like one?" she offered with an easy smile, holding a mug up, and he nodded in response.

Several minutes later the two of them were sat side by side on the sofa with mugs of chocolate in their hands, the warmth of the merrily burning fire washing over them.

Bucky took a sip of the hot drink and made a small, thoughtful humming noise; the taste was familiar, rich and sweet, though he couldn't possibly have said when he'd had it before. Katherine looked at him. "You like?" she asked, smiling at him.

"Yeah," he replied honestly, taking another mouthful and trying to place when he'd tasted it before.

"Do you think you've had it before?" she wanted to know, echoing his own thoughts as she tucked her legs beneath her on the sofa and looked at him.

He shrugged and leant back in his seat, moving his flesh arm so that it was resting on the back of the sofa behind her, holding the mug in his metal hand. "Possibly, the taste is familiar," he admitted; his memories had sometimes been prompted by taste and smell and it felt like the memory was getting closer to the surface of his mind with every sip he took, until it was on the top of his tongue.

Eventually, when he was about halfway through the hot chocolate, he was able to recall that cocoa had occasionally been given as part of army rations on the front line during the war; it had been a rare commodity, one to be savoured despite it being made in a mess tin from powdered milk, thin and watery, nothing like the rich, sweet and creamy drink he had in his hand now.

He opened his mouth to break the silence and tell Katherine about the memory, but paused before speaking, realising she had fallen asleep once more. Her head was resting against the back of the sofa, almost touching his arm, and her half-drunk cup was drooping dangerously in her hands, threatening to spill; he gently took it from her and put both mugs down on the coffee table. In doing so, she shifted and her head came to rest against him, in the hollow where his shoulder met his arm.

Bucky stared down at her, feeling the reassuring weight of her body against his side. Her long, dark lashes were just touching her cheeks and her rosebud lips were slightly parted as she slept peacefully. Slowly, after a long moment, he moved his flesh hand down from the back of the sofa to rest it cautiously on her back, drawing her closer. The silk of her nightdress was soft and smooth beneath his fingers, cool to the touch in comparison to her warmth radiating from her skin.

Without disturbing her, he managed to get the blanket he had been using to sleep on the sofa and draped it over both of them, knowing that the fire would die down before long and the cabin would become chilled. With the blanket covering them, he brushed his fingertips lightly down her back and she shivered in response, curling tighter against him.

He leant back so that he was half reclining in the corner of the sofa with his metal hand propped behind his head and her cheek slipped down to rest on his chest, one of her small, delicate hands clutching at the material of his t-shirt just over his abdomen as she continued to sleep. At the feeling of her hand resting just below his bellybutton he felt an undeniable twitch from his groin, a side-effect of no longer being on the cocktail of mood-suppressing and compliance drugs that Hydra had plugged him with for years. It was the first time he'd felt such a thing in what was very likely decades, though he had vague memories of arousal from before Hydra.

He stared up at the ceiling of the cabin and forced himself to ignore it, knowing that such a reaction was not appropriate - despite Katherine's kindness and proclamation that they were friends, the reality was that he had kidnapped her from the museum and she would no doubt not appreciate such thoughts from him.

He thought about moving her - lifting her in his arms and carrying her back to bed, or simply just waking her - but decided against it, guiltily relishing the feeling of her against him. He could hear her deep, even breaths as she slumbered; the sound of her breaths was like a metronome, calming and lulling him into relaxation as well.

He sighed and closed his eyes, thinking that he would just rest for a moment, and was asleep again within minutes.

* * *

Katherine woke up once more feeling warm and cosy, vaguely aware that her pillow was firm, rising and falling gently beneath her head. She took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of pine and woodsmoke from the fire. Finally, she blinked open her eyes; the sun was just starting to lighten the curtains of the living room in the cabin, illuminating the room.

Her lips parted as she realised that she was lying practically on top of Bucky in the living room, both of them beneath a blanket that he must have covered them with during the night. He was reclined back against the pillows in the corner of the sofa with her sprawled on his chest, her fingers clutching the black cotton of his t-shirt.

She propped her chin on his chest, looking up at him. One of his arms was wrapped around her, his flesh hand warm and heavy on her back beneath the blanket that covered them both, meanwhile his metallic had was propped behind his head. His face was relaxed, his eyes closed and the corners of his mouth turned down. He'd trimmed his beard right back a few days ago, but now there was thick stubble covering the lines of his jaw once more

She tilted her head, still gazing up at him, when he suddenly spoke. "I can feel you staring at me," he said quietly, making her jump since she'd thought he was asleep. He opened his eyes, piercing her with his light gaze, which was more blue than grey in the morning light, but the hand on her back didn't move.

"I just … You were asleep," she explained weakly, aware that her cheeks were flushing pink at having been caught watching him sleep.

He closed his eyes once more and shifted slightly beneath her, settling even further back into the pillows. "I was," he admitted, sounding rather surprised at this himself - he did not seem to mind her proximity in the slightest, nor the fact that she had yet to make a move to get off him.

There was a brief silence, during which Katherine bit her lip and let it drag through her teeth. "You looked peaceful," she said eventually, still looking up at his relaxed features with her chin propped on his chest.

Bucky made a faint rumbling noise, a sound of contentment, his eyes still closed as if he was trying to recapture that peace. "I didn't have any nightmares," he told her softly, as if speaking loudly would shatter the almost surreal calmness of the morning.

"That's good, right?" she asked, knowing full well that he hadn't had a single night of uninterrupted sleep in the whole time since they had met, either not sleeping at all or being plagued with horrific nightmares. She knew that he caught a few snatches of sleep here and there, but the dark circles under his eyes still lingered, testifying to his continually disturbed rest.

He opened his eyes once more, looking down at her; the hand on her lower back shifted half an inch lower, keeping her pressed against him. "Yes, Katya," he agreed quietly, his expression rather soft and warm, the look in his eyes making her heart skip slightly in her chest as she smiled up at him in turn at the way he said her shortened name. " That's good."

Katherine rested her head back on his chest, neither of them ready to move just yet. _Stupid Stockholm Syndrome_ , she found herself thinking, not for the first time, as she tried to suppress her almost giddy smile.

* * *

 **Hello my lovelies!**

 **Thank you for all of your reviews, they definitely inspire me to keep writing!**

 **If anyone is wondering, there is still angst to come - Bucky's road to recovery is long and winding, but I wanted to get him and Katherine to a point of solid trust and understanding before starting the romance / throwing any spanners in the works.**

 **Hope you are all having a lovely week!**


	9. Betting with bullet shells

Katherine and Bucky were sat at the dining room table later that evening as night wore on. Katherine had found a pack of playing cards lurking at the back of one of the drawers in the cabin and they were playing poker. It had started with her trying to teach him, but he had quickly realised that he knew how to play despite having no actual memories of ever playing the game. They had divided up one of the stacks of money he had stolen from the Hydra safe house to bet with; she had initially protested this, having originally suggested using cutlery for chips, but had eventually capitulated and then seemed to find great amusement in betting hundreds of dollars or pounds per hand.

He had lost count of how many games they had played throughout the evening when he put down yet another winning hand, three queens, and Katherine rolled her eyes playfully as she threw down her cards. "Alright Bucky, you win," she said, pushing the haphazard pile of paper notes towards him with a smile.

" _Alright Buck, you win," Steve Rogers said good naturedly, throwing down his cards and shaking his head in exasperation as the men around them laughed._

The memory hit him swiftly, flashing to the front of his mind and making him freeze.

It was the first true memory of Steve that he'd had - the rest of his memories had been snippets, fragments of life in the forties or painful memories of Hydra, but this, _this_ , was something concrete and his mind latched on to it with both hands, unwilling to let the memory slip away.

"Are you alright?" Katherine asked, frowning at him from where she sat opposite, the cards that she had been shuffling forgotten in her hands as she noticed his preoccupation.

"I … I remember Steve," he admitted dazedly, his gaze out of focus as he looked over her shoulder, lost in the memory.

"You do?" she said, looking at him intently.

"He called me Buck," he murmured, still trying to capture every detail of the memory; they'd been in a pub, glasses of beer and whiskey littering the table as they had played cards late into the night. "I remember playing poker with him and … and … the men," he finished weakly, still unable to remember anything about his comrades - not for the first time, he wished he'd had more time to look around the exhibit before being recognised.

"The Howling Commandos," she supplied softly, her gaze still fixed on him.

He nodded, still lost in thought. "We were using bullets for chips and laughing because he - Steve - had a terrible poker face," he told her, remembering how his friend (his _friend_ , it was true, Steve had been his friend) was terrible at bluffing and that the betting pot in the middle of the table had been filled with bullets, a half empty bottle of whiskey, a pack of cigarettes and a couple of chocolate bars, which they had been betting with. The corner of his mouth twitched upwards as he gazed at the wall, his mind far away. "I remember … I remember that I lost the first bar of chocolate I'd seen in months to a bad hand," he told her in a quiet, slightly awed voice, relishing the clarity of the memory that had surfaced.

"You should write it down," she suggested; Bucky glanced down at the cards and the pile of money between them and Katherine grinned at him. "I don't mind stopping, you were about to clear me out anyway and this way I can bow out with grace," she said wryly and he noticed that she only had a few notes left whereas he had the majority of the money they had been betting. She got to her feet and walked around the table to hand him his memories notebook, which he had left on the kitchen counter, "I'm gonna go brush my teeth, night Bucky," she added, casting another smile his way and brushing her hand familiarly and easily over his shoulder as she moved passed him towards the bathroom.

He opened the notebook and got to work, staying sat at the table and writing for nearly half an hour, putting as much detail down into his description of the memory as he could, noting what they had been playing, what they had been betting with and what they had been drinking.

Once he had finished he closed his eyes, straining his mind to remember more - he felt that with the memory of the pub he now had something to hook other memories on, trying to remember what music had been playing or what they had been wearing.

" _You're keeping the outfit though, right?" he asked Steve with a smirk, a glass of half-drunk whiskey in his hand as he teased his friend about the star-spangled Captain America outfit._

He opened his eyes and exhaled a shaking breath - that had been a different night, when he and Steve had been reunited after he had broken him and the men out of the Hydra base near Azzano. He picked up his pen once more, feeling his hands trembling ever so slightly with the intensity of the brief flashes of memory.

Before he knew it over an hour had passed; he felt tired and drained, a headache pinching at his skull from straining his mind to reach the blocked memories. He looked at the sofa that had been his bed since their arrival in the cabin and frowned deeply - he didn't think he could face his nightmares, not tonight, not after reclaiming some lost memories of his friend and past.

Yet he hadn't had any nightmares when he had slept with Katherine the night before, he couldn't help but think to himself.

Bucky's eyes drifted over to the closed bedroom door and he got to his feet, slowly crossing the cabin to look inside. Katherine was already asleep, it being well passed the middle of the night. She was curled up on one side of the large bed, half on her front, half on her side, hugging her pillow. The other side of the bed was conspicuously untouched, leaving plenty of space for another person.

He lingered in the doorway, debating with himself; on one hand she'd seemed completely unphased - possibly even pleased - at having fallen asleep on the sofa with him the night before and he was dreading potentially having nightmares, thinking that her presence might help keep them at bay once more, but on the other hand he feared hurting her in his sleep.

In the end his selfish side won out, wanting to know if his peaceful sleep the night before had been a fluke or down to her; he put a few more logs on the bedroom fire and crossed the room on silent feet. Careful not to wake her, he slipped the gun he always kept in the waistband of his jeans beneath the pillow and lowered himself down on the opposite side of the bed, above the covers and with a fair bit of distance between them.

Despite his best efforts, she stirred as the mattress dipped, turning her face into the pillow with a faint sigh. She then inhaled deeply as she woke and her eyes fluttered open. She seemed surprised to find him there, blinking at him, a faint crease appearing between her brows. "What are you doing?" she asked sleepily, her voice slightly muffled by the pillow.

"Testing a theory," he replied simply, settling so that he was laying on his back against the pillows with his metal arm behind his head and turning his head to face her. "Go back to sleep, doll," he added quietly, looking at her sleepy form in the dim orange glow of the fire.

Her eyes, which had automatically drifted closed once more, evidently not fully awake, opened once more and blinked at him again. "What did you call me?" she asked bemusedly, hugging the pillow as she lay on her front.

"Doll," he said, more than a little surprised at himself for the pet name; it was a mannerism of the forties, no doubt one that had been brought to the surface with his memories and thoughts that night. He shrugged a little, though the movement was rather lost in laying down. "Just slipped out."

Katherine smiled, shifting slightly so that she was curled up on her side facing him, bracing her head in one hand as she looked at him curiously. "Is that what you used to call girls back in the forties?" she wanted to know, sounding slightly more awake now.

"I guess so," he replied, also turning so that he was laying on his left side, facing her with his metal hand now beneath the plump pillow, touching the gun he'd stored there, only a few feet of distance between them. He frowned a little as he thought back, the effort making the ache in his head throb as he tried to access the memories. "Doll, sweetheart, darlin' …"

She hummed a little, smiling properly now despite how sleepy she still seemed. "I bet you were a real ladies man, back in the day."

"You think so?" Bucky asked, raising a single brow at her.

A faint blush coloured her cheeks, visible in the dying light of the bedroom fire. "Yeah, I do."

He shifted slightly in the bed, moving ever so slightly closer to her as they spoke, facing her fully on his side. "I never asked, do you have a fella waiting for you back in England?" he wanted to know; surely a beautiful, intelligent woman such as herself would have a man in the wings despite apparently travelling alone, it only made sense. He scrutinised her response, noting that her answer mattered acutely to him.

"No," she replied, looking down and plucking at the duvet with her fingers. "There was a guy, but … he wasn't a nice man, as it turned out," she finished with a faint shrug, not sounding happy.

Bucky frowned at her, not liking the implication in her words. "He hurt you?" he pressed, wondering vaguely if the sudden urge to find the man and disembowel him came from the soldier or the man within his mind.

"Not exactly, not in the way you're probably thinking" she said, shaking her head and looking at him with the corners of her mouth uncharacteristically pulled down, her expression pensive. "He cheated on me, several times … And it was an _embarrassingly_ long time before I found out," she added, the self-deprecation evident in her tone as she grimaced at him.

"A dame like you should be treated right," he murmured to himself, still frowning deeply at her; he couldn't understand it, why a man would stray when he had a woman like her was nigh incomprehensible to him.

To his surprise, she smiled widely at him in response, her dour expression clearing. "First doll, now dame," she said, sounding highly amused. "It seems like the forties are coming back to you."

"Slightly," he admitted, shifting so that he was even more comfortable on his side and relishing how soft the bed was. He felt like he'd had something of a breakthrough with his memories that night, real, _concrete_ memories of his past as Sergeant James Barnes, friend of Steve Rogers. He looked at her, noting the way her dark hair spread out over the pillow. She still seemed tired and relaxed, despite their conversation. "Go back to sleep," he added, his voice soft and quiet, aware that he had inadvertently woken her from her rest.

Katherine smiled sleepily at him, quirking her eyebrows. "What, no pet name?" she demanded playfully.

Bucky rolled his eyes, a single corner of his mouth pulling upwards in amusement - it was not quite a smile, but it felt close, even to him. "Go back to sleep, _darlin_ '," he reiterated, the endearment tripping easily off the tongue and the Brooklyn drawl evident even to his own ears.

The smile that she was trying to hide was obvious as she huffed a little and shifted, moving ever so slightly closer to him in turn as she curled up to sleep once more. She yawned widely, and then, "You can get under the covers, if you want," she added once she had settled against her pillow once more, her eyes already closed.

He stared at her with a slight frown, knowing that the cabin would become chilled once the fire died down and wondering if he should take her up on that offer.

When he neither replied or moved, Katherine opened her eyes to blink sleepily at him. "It's freezing, Bucky," she said with a note of mild complaint in her voice, explaining her reasoning as her eyes drifted closed once again. "You're making me cold just looking at you."

Wordlessly, he got in beneath the covers, immediately feeling both the warmth they provided and the heat from her body, despite the distance between them in the bed. She waited until he had finished shifting and had settled into stillness before opening her eyes to blink sleepily at him, as if to check that he had done as she'd instructed, then her eyes closed once more. "Goodnight Bucky," she murmured once again, sounding utterly calm and relaxed, like sleep was close to claiming her once more.

"Goodnight Katya," he rasped, still laying on his side with his gaze fixed on the peaceful curves of her face.

He simply stared at her for several long minutes, watching her sleep, before sighing and closing his eyes himself. He focused on her breathing, on the faint sound of her steady heartbeat. The regular sound lulled him into a state of relaxation, and then eventually to sleep.

His rest was undisturbed for a while, then his dreams turned darker. It was not the usual unassailable cold, the sense of being restrained that was creeping up on him, rather it was _heat_ , an absolute inferno. He felt like he was balancing, walking a tightrope with fire below. Running. Staring back at Steve across an impossible distance as flames raged far below them.

" _There's gotta be a rope or something!"_

" _Just go, get outta here!"_

" _No, not without you!"_

His breaths were coming sharp and shallow, as if he had been running for miles, and his hands clenched into fists in the sheets, caught in the grips of the nightmare - the _memory_.

"Hey, shhh …" he was vaguely aware of Katherine saying quietly in the darkness. He woke from the burgeoning nightmare to find her sleepily trailing a hand over his metal shoulder, which was the one closest to her as he lay on his back, seemingly unbothered by the metal beneath her fingers. He turned to face her, laying fully on his side with a light sheen of sweat covering his skin; she was still fast asleep, also curled on her side facing him, lying closer now, her hand dropping to rest on the few inches of mattress between them with his movement.

Slowly, he raised his flesh hand and lightly touched her hair in the darkness.

In doing so, he had slightly raised the covers, letting in cold air. She shifted closer in her sleep, seemingly seeking his warmth. Her head came to rest on his shoulder where metal met skin and she sighed, pressing closer and relaxing against him. He could feel her heartbeat against his chest, calming him after the nightmare had woken him, her body soft, warm and pliant against his.

Unthinkingly, Bucky wrapped his arms around her, holding her to him, and exhaled a deep breath, closing his eyes once more, sleeping with neither dreams, memories or nightmares.

It was the pre-dawn light peeking through the curtains that eventually roused him several hours later; he woke to find a soft, warm body in his arms. Katherine was pressed completely against his side, her head pillowed on his chest and his arms anchoring her to him. She was deeply asleep, one of her hands clutched in the material of the t-shirt he wore to bed and a leg curled around one of his, breathing evenly in time with him.

He stared at the ceiling for several long minutes, feeling well rested and peaceful for the first time he could remember.

The peaceful feeling, however, was not to last. As he lay there a sense of guilt and self reproach gradually crept up on him - Katherine had allowed him to join her in the bed and despite her sleepily moving towards him he had taken liberties in holding her in his arms without her knowledge.

Carefully, so as not to wake her, he reluctantly detached himself from Katherine and slipped from the bed. She hadn't so much as stirred with the movement and the different parts of his mind noted that she seemed both utterly defenceless and serene at the same time. The fire in the bedroom had long since gone out and would not be relit until the evening when it was dark and so he pulled the covers up higher around her to keep her warm; she sighed in her sleep with just the tip of her nose peeking out and her long, dark hair spread out wildly on the pillow behind her.

He gave her one last, lingering look, making sure she was still deeply asleep, before heading through to the bathroom, pausing only to collect clothes for the day. He stripped down and turned on the water, sighing slightly as he stepped beneath the hot, pounding spray. He lingered beneath the hot spray of the shower for several long minutes, lost in thought, before reaching out to turn off the water. He quickly dried himself, dressed and headed out of the bathroom.

Bucky was surprised to find Katherine awake and in the kitchen, evidently having woken while he was showering. She was making them both a cup of tea and coffee respectively and glanced at him, her eyes taking in the dripping ends of his hair; she had put a jumper on over her nightdress, but the silk was still clinging to her hips and legs. "Good morning," she said quietly, meeting his eyes with a small, rather shy smile.

"Mornin'" he replied as he moved into the kitchen, his drawling Brooklyn accent breaking through once more.

"How did you sleep?" she asked in a deceptively neutral voice, turning back to the kettle, which was just starting to boil.

"Fine," he replied, still staring at her. "You?"

She hummed slightly and he wondered if she was aware that she had spent the majority of the night in his arms; it seemed likely, considering the shy looks she was giving him and the faint blush on her cheeks. There was a brief silence, during which Katherine finished making the drinks - black coffee for him, tea with milk for her. "So I have a question," she said as she turned and held out a coffee mug to him, clearly deciding to deal with what had happened between them last night head on. "What made you decide to join me last night?"

He took the mug from her, his fingers brushing her own as he did so. "I didn't have nightmares when I fell asleep on the sofa with you," he confessed quietly, hoping that she wasn't disturbed by him having joined her.

"And … last night?" she asked; she was leaning back against the kitchen counter, a faint frown pulling at her mouth and both hands wrapped around her mug for warmth. "I think I remember you waking up."

He nodded, remembering the way she had sleepily tried to soothe him after his nightmare and had curled up against him. "Not as bad as usual," he said honestly, wondering why that was the case - he was so used to isolation, perhaps it had been the presence of another person as well as the luxuriously comfortable bed that had calmed his mind.

She nodded slowly and looked down, still seeming uncharacteristically shy. "So … do you think you might share with me now?" she wanted to know, peeking up at him and half raising one shoulder as she tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

"Would you mind?" he wanted to know - she hadn't had any objections the previous night, but he wanted to be sure she was comfortable with it. She quickly shook her head, indicating that she didn't mind, and he gave her a single, curt nod. "Then yes," he told her, quietly satisfied.

To his surprise, a small, albeit genuine smile lit her face. "Okay," she replied simply as she turned back to the counter to start on breakfast, seemingly equally content with this new arrangement if her lingering smile was any indication.

* * *

 **Slightly shorter chapter this time and posting a day early since I am in the middle of a manic week and if I didn't post today nothing would have been done until the weekend!**

 **Every time you leave a review Bucky takes his shirt off - just sayin'**

 **:)**


	10. A storm rages

Bucky had joined Katherine in bed every night since they'd had their poker night and he'd reclaimed some memories of Steve Rogers. More often than not, he would slip in after she was already asleep and was up and about by the time she woke; he wondered if she was aware that she ended up in his arms most nights, with her either moving closer to him in her sleep, seemingly seeking his warmth, or him drawing her closer after a nightmare.

His nightmares had by no means stopped, but he found that he could wake up and orient himself quicker now that he was beside her, pulling her into his arms and counting her breaths as he calmed himself, sometimes even managing to fall back to sleep again.

Even without being plagued at night by dreams he found that he still couldn't sleep for more than a few hours at a time; often, when he inevitably woke, he would spend the rest of the night sat up against the headboard, listening to her breathing as she slept.

One night, several days since their poker night, he was sat up against the headboard above the covers and flicking through his memories notebook by the light of the fire that he'd built up; another storm was raging outside, the wind creaking in the trees and howling around the cabin, and he knew he'd get no rest that night. Katherine was fast asleep beside him, silent and serene, undisturbed by the storm, curled up with her back to him.

A log popped and fell in the fire, rousing her; sleepily, she shifted and rolled over so that she was facing him. Her eyes slowly opened and she blinked at him. "Hey," she said hazily, noting the notebook in his hands. "Writing down memories?"

"Rereading them," he explained shortly, turning a page in the notebook.

Katherine burrowed deeper into the pillow so that she was laying properly on her side, facing him, evidently not entirely awake. "Looks like you have quite a lot in there," she said, yawning slightly.

He shrugged, still not entirely satisfied with, in his opinion, how little he'd remembered. "Most of its little things," he told her. "I'm trying to write down as much as I can, in case …"

She blinked at him once more. "In case what?" she wanted to know after he trailed off.

Bucky took a deep breath, hesitating before he replied. "In case they wipe me again," he said eventually, his voice slipping back into a monotone.

"Hey," Katherine said firmly, reaching out to touch his metal arm, which was closest to her and waiting for a long moment until he turned to look at her. "That's not going to happen."

He shook his head at her. "If Hydra catches us, assuming they don't kill us, that's exactly what will happen.

Katherine was frowning deeply up at him, but nevertheless didn't seem to have a reply; instead, in response, she settled down so that she was laying almost pressed against his side, scant inches of space on the bed between them and her hand lingering on his metal arm as if to provide wordless comfort, seemingly unbothered by the metal beneath her fingers.

They stayed like that for several long minutes, the only sound being the wind outside ad the crackling of the fire within the room, and Bucky thought that Katherine might have fallen asleep before she spoke again. "There's a storm outside," she murmured quietly, clearly close to slumber once more.

"It's been going for some time," Bucky replied, equally quiet. She hummed sleepily in response and he looked down at her, laying so peacefully beside him. "Go back to sleep," he added in a whisper.

She shuffled slightly and then was still, her deep and even breathing indicating that sleep had claimed her once more.

Thoughtfully, Bucky turned to a new page in his notebook, picked up the pen from the bedside table and started to write down everything that he knew about Katherine and their interactions - afterall, she too was something that he didn't want taken from him if he was wiped again.

* * *

The next morning the blizzard was still howling around the cabin. Katherine was stood by the curtains in the living room, holding them open with both hands to look out at the swirling white flakes and swaying trees while Bucky tidied up the last of their breakfast things. "No going outside today," she said in a slightly mournful tone, watching the blizzard.

"No," he agreed simply as he put away the plates and came to join her in the living room.

She turned to look at him, her hazel eyes wide with her hair loose and tousled around her shoulders. "Does that mean no self-defence this morning?" she wanted to know; they'd practiced out in the small clearing not far from the cabin almost every day since he had foisted these lessons upon her.

Bucky shook his head and started to push the sofa to the edge of the cabin with ease - she frowned at him in confusion as she watched him, tilting her head curiously to one side and evidently wondering what he was doing. "We can do some training in here," he told her, clearing a space for them to work. He then moved the coffee table out of the way as well and straightened up, standing in the middle of the shag rug which would act as their mat for the lesson he had planned for today. "Didn't you say that you wanted to know how to take someone down with your thighs?" he asked in a deadpan voice, raising an eyebrow and hoping to make her smile - he enjoyed her smiles, particularly when he caused them; he wasn't used to people smiling around him and they made him feel human again.

Katherine's mouth dropped open in horror instead of her laughing, which had been his intention. "I - what - you're _joking_ , right?" she said entreatingly after doing an uncanny impression of a fish for several seconds. "Please _, please_ tell me you're joking, I'm no way _near_ ready for that."

He felt rather entertained by her reaction, but purposefully kept his face smooth and expressionless; he simply raised his metal hand and beckoned her closer with a flick of two fingers.

"Oh my _God_ …" Katherine said quietly in what sounded like fascinated terror as she slowly, hesitantly, came and stood opposite him; she was visibly nervous, her eyes very wide indeed.

Bucky purposefully waited for several long seconds before speaking, staring at her and finding himself rather enjoying watching her squirm at the long pause. "Today I'm going to teach you how to break out of different holds, like the one the trucker had you in at that first gas station," he explained eventually, taking pity on her.

Katherine laughed, the tension in the room breaking. "Oh thank _God_ ," she said with a wide, bright grin, the sight of it filling him with a curious, yet immense sense of satisfaction at having indeed succeeded in his goal of making her smile. "I _genuinely_ thought you were being serious about the thigh thing, I was terrified."

He snorted slightly and shook his head; her self-defence technique was dreadful, she was right in thinking that she wasn't ready for such maneuvers. "There is something I want you to understand before we start though, Katya …" he said slowly, his tone shifting from dry to serious as he met her eyes and held them, ready to start the lesson. "This kind of training will involve me having you in a hold, but you are still the one in control here," he explained, thinking of what he remembered of his own training and sparring back with Hydra and wanting to do almost the exact opposite to what he had been subjected to. He watched her blink at him and then visibly swallow nervously. "If at any point you wish to stop, say so and I will."

"Okay ..." Katherine agreed, though she seemed slightly less certain than she had done a moment ago.

Bucky watched her for a long moment, trying to gauge if she truly wanted to continue with these lessons he had somewhat forced upon her; she seemed to sense this and met his eyes with renewed determination, straightening up. "Hold out your arm," he commanded her. She did so and he immediately took hold of her wrist in a firm grip in his right hand, absently noting that the bruises he'd left on her skin back in the motel on their journey had long-since faded. He was not holding her nearly as tightly as he could have held on, but tight enough that she could not easily break free. "This is how the man had ahold of you at the gas station," he reminded her, then raised his chin slightly. "Show me how you would have broken out of it if I hadn't have been there."

She tugged sharply on her wrist, but his grip was like iron and he refused to let her go. She then met his eyes once more, a silent question in them. "Don't be afraid of hurting me, try to get free," he said quietly, reading her unasked question.

Abruptly, she sent a punch with her other hand towards his face; he caught it easily in his free hand, no doubt jarring her fingers slightly on the metal, and immediately released it with a nod of approval. She then tried slamming her hand down on his own wrist to break his hold, and when that didn't work, twisting sharply away until he released her.

He nodded; he could have maintained his grip easily, but he was teaching her how to deal with a mundane attacker, not a trained assassin. "Good," he said, and then spent the next several minutes teaching her several more efficient ways to break free, reminding her to use her legs to kick as well as throwing punches.

Once he had taught her the methods, they practiced several times until she was able to break his hold with ease on either hand.

"Let's move on," he said, satisfied that she had got this though mentally adding it to his repertoire of things to practice daily. "I'm now going to put you in a hold to simulate an attacker coming up from behind," he told her, gesturing with one finger that she should turn around.

She took a deep breath and turned her back to him; he approached her and put his flesh arm around her neck, the other around her stomach, pulling her sharply back against him and pinning her arms firmly against her sides.

"W-what should I do?" she asked him, sounding hesitant.

"Struggle, try to break free," he replied right in her ear, his nose filling with the clean scent of her loose hair - citrusy, something she had bought when they'd been in town. His front was pressed almost entirely against her back, her shapely backside pressed against him. He felt another undeniable twitch from his groin, a side-effect of no longer being on the cocktail of mood-suppressing and compliance drugs that Hydra had plugged him with for years, but once more forced himself to ignore it.

Immediately, she tried to twist and turn in his arms, trying to use her feet to stomp on his own - he kept his grip loose, but firm, keeping her restrained without hurting her as she struggled valiantly.

After a long moment she paused and looked back over her shoulder at him, her breath coming in shallow pants when she couldn't break free.

He released her and she turned back around with a slightly sheepish expression at not having broken his hold, pushing some of her hair out of her eyes.

"You do not need to be able to throw a man to the floor or knock him out cold," he explained, since she had been trying to use her weight too much to throw him off her, and not effectively at that. "Your aim is to get free so that you can run, do you understand?"

Katherine nodded, still trying to catch her breath.

For the next several minutes he taught her a few different tactics for breaking out of such a hold, such as an elbow to the solar plexus, stepping on feet, headbutting the nose and different ways of using her weight to throw an attacker off balance. They practised in slow motion once more, until he was satisfied that she had grasped several different methods.

"Not bad," he praised as she paused to take a sip of water from a glass in the kitchen. She was doing fairly well for someone who had little knowledge of hand to hand combat, but she was still far from any kind of proficiency. "Do you wish to continue?"

"Why not?" Katherine replied gamely, putting her glass down and joining him in the middle of the room once more, bouncing a little on the balls of her feet.

"I'm now going to teach you how to get out of a pin, the same kind that I put you in back at the motel," he said; this was the final part of the lesson he had planned for today.

"Okay," she replied, looking at him in anticipation, seemingly waiting for him to do something.

One corner of his mouth twitched ever so slightly upwards since he had no intention of just suddenly leaping at her and pinning her to the floor, as she apparently seemed to expect. "Lay down on the floor," he ordered quietly, his gaze fixed on her.

Katherine blinked at him once, twice, and then obediently lowered herself down to lay on her back in the middle of the rug, her hands folded on her stomach and her wildly tousled hair fanned out beneath her. Bucky squatted down next to her, balancing on the balls of his feet. "I'm going to straddle your hips and pin your arms above your head, you need to try to break free," he explained simply in a soft voice, noting the way she shot a slightly incredulous look his way. "Is that alright?" he asked her, not wanting to do anything she was not comfortable with.

"Y-yes," she replied, though she seemed undeniably nervous at the prospect.

Slowly, so as not to alarm her, he swung one leg over her body, settling so that his knees were snug on either side of her hips, aware of her eyes fixed on his as he did so, watching his every move. One at a time, he then took her hands from where they were folded on her stomach and gently moved them so that they were above her head, loosely pinning them with his hands around her wrists - he took care to keep his grip loose, having no desire to hurt her again.

Katherine's breaths were coming sharply, making her chest heave, and her pupils were dilated as she looked up into his face. They stayed in that position for several heartbeats, their gazes locked, then one corner of Bucky's mouth turned slowly, minutely, upwards once more. "You are supposed to struggle," he reminded her in a low murmur, more than a little entertained at the fact she had done absolutely nothing to try and break free yet but unsure as to why that might be.

Katherine's face immediately flushed an appealing pink and she abruptly bucked her hips, pulling at her wrists as she did so.

Bucky tightened his grip slightly rode out her movements with ease, keeping her restrained beneath him.

It quickly became apparent that she would not dislodge him and so he released her wrists - she stopped struggling and looked questioningly at him, propping herself up on her elbows and panting slightly.

"There is little sense trying to push with your arms, your attacker will have all his weight pinning you down," he explained, making no motion to move from his position atop of her as he spoke. "You'll need to use your legs as well to get the leverage you need," he added. He then reached back to tap one of her knees. "Draw your legs up so that your feet are where your knees are," he ordered her.

She did so, and he reached out to take her wrists and pin them once more, leaning forwards over her. "Now, the next part needs to be done all as one step," he told her, their faces close together. "You are going to plant your feet on the floor and use them as leverage to lift your hips and pitch sideways. At the same time, you are going to pull your arms sharply towards your body and to the same side, hopefully the combined momentum will allow you to reverse our positions. Do you understand?" he asked in a low voice.

"I - I think so," Katherine replied shakily, her brow furrowed as she thought through the movement.

"Ready?" he said, and she nodded in response, looking increasingly determined as he counted her down. "One ... two ... _three_."

Doing as he'd instructed, she used her legs to buck her hips to the left, pulling on her arms as she did so. It would not have been enough to dislodge him had he actually been trying to restrain her, but nevertheless he allowed her to flip their positions so that he was now beneath her.

"Good girl," he praised once more, looking up at her perched atop of his hips, breathless, tousled and smiling with triumph in a way that was somehow absurdly alluring. He hadn't noticed her appearance when he had taken her from the museum, it being of no consequence to him at the time, but now, detoxed as he was from the chemicals Hydra had kept him on, he found himself slowly noticing and responding to her more and more.

"You let me have that one," she claimed, though she still looked very proud of herself nevertheless.

"Perhaps," Bucky confessed unrepentantly; he was propped on his elbows, still staring up at her and feeling another persistent tug from his groin that he once again ignored. "But you needed to see the movement."

"Hmm," she said sceptically, playfully unimpressed by this reasoning on his part as she pulled a face down at him.

"Now …" he said slowly, and then abruptly flipped them without warning so that he was once more atop of her, reversing their positions with ease. Her whiskey-coloured eyes widened comically at this and her lips parted in surprise as she found herself once more on her back beneath him with her wrists pinned beside her head. "Do it again."

* * *

A few days later, Katherine put her head in her hands and let out a loud groan of frustration.

"Are you alright?" Bucky asked with no small amount of alarm from where he sat at the other end of the table, taking apart and cleaning all of the guns in the cabin for the third time since they had arrived several weeks ago.

"Nothing is working!" she said with a growl of frustration, gesturing violently towards her laptop, which was open in front of her and displaying her coding program, which she had been working on for several hours. "This is supposed to be a _unbreakable_ code - but if you want to identify foes from friendlies then you need to be able to have a two party dialogue with them, by which point you've already _let them in_ to your system which, you know, _defeats_ the point of an unbreakable code in the first place!"

Bucky blinked at her, evidently not understanding much of what she'd just said, the gun part he had been cleaning frozen in his hand. "You need a break," he said after a moment, putting the parts down and standing up. He jerked his head towards the cabin door. "Come on, training session, now."

"I'm busy," Katherine said petulantly, scowling at her computer screen once more.

"That wasn't a request."

She sighed deeply, recognising that some time away from the laptop would probably do her good, and got to her feet with only minimal mumbling under her breath.

"Wrap up warm, you'll need it," Bucky told her as they both put on their coats and boots; on his advice, she also wrapped up in her gloves, scarf and hat.

They walked to the clearing in silence, with Katherine still mildly seething in frustration at the dead ends she was hitting with her code. She was in too bad a mood to truly appreciate the landscape around her as she normally did, scarcely even noticing the thin, powdery layer of freshly fallen snow or the icicles that hang down from the trees around them.

They reached the clearing, which was still churned up with their footprints in the snow from their training session yesterday. "What's on the agenda for today then?" she asked heavily, not entirely in the mood for a training session but gamely trying to put a determined face on.

"Avoiding being hit," Bucky said simply from behind her, having stopped a few paces back without her noticing.

"Avoiding being hit, right," she repeated dutifully as she continued to walk towards the centre of the clearing, assuming that this was going to be a recap on dodging blows in a sparring match instead of blocking them, which they had covered a few days ago. "So how do I -"

A snowball collided with the back of her head and she spun around in shock - Bucky was crouched in the snow a few paces back, a deep frown on his face. "That was a terrible start, Katya," he chided, sounding less than impressed as he balled up more snow in his gloved hands.

She spluttered at him in abject shock. "Did you _seriously_ just -"

He threw another snowball at her, this one striking her right in the chest and making her stagger back.

"Perhaps I wasn't clear," he said dangerously, pointedly gathering up more snow and balling it slowly in his hands as she backed away a few steps, her mouth hanging open in surprise. "The purpose of this exercise is to _avoid_ being hit."

"But …" she said, staring at him with wide eyes, not entirely sure of what to make of his mood - was this a training session or a game?

"Look around you, what can you use for cover?" he said in a low voice, nodding his head towards the clearing around them.

She glanced around. "The trees ..." she replied hesitantly and he nodded.

"Good girl," he praised her, making her stomach flip slightly. "Now, rules are simple - you get hit, you're dead," he said bluntly; the monotonous seriousness of his tone and the grim set of his mouth was belayed by a downright _wicked_ glint in his eyes that just screamed trouble. "I'll even give you a ten second head start."

"Are we seriously doing this?" Katherine said shakily, unable to believe that he had apparently dragged her out here for a _snowball_ fight.

"Eight, seven, six, five …" Bucky said pointedly in reply, taking aim at her with the snowball in his hands.

" _Fuck_!" she hissed under her breath, realising that he was being deadly serious. She turned and sprinted towards the trees at the edge of the clearing - only for Bucky's snowball to thwack her right on the ass as she ran away.

The next fifteen minutes or so were some of the most physically intense that she could ever remember, sprinting from tree to tree and trying to hide and catch her breath as he positively _stalked_ her through the forest. He was a damned ninja, simply following her tracks in the snow and skirting around to approach her from different directions so that she never knew where the next snowball would come from.

She was drenched, freezing and had ' _died_ ' no less than nine times so far, not counting the hits he'd got in before the _exercise_ , as he'd put it, started.

Gasping for breath, she ran and hid behind a wide-trunked tree - she couldn't outrun him and he was just following her footprints in the snow wherever she went, so she had to _think_.

The clearing - it was already churned up with all of their footprints, it would be harder for him to track her there.

A plan in place, she sprinted back towards the clearing, dodging between the trees as she ran. She reached the clearing once again and paused in the centre of it, recognising the problem in her plan. "Where to hide, where to hide?" she muttered to herself as she panted in exertion, her breath steaming white.

Bucky had already given her the answer - the trees.

Knowing that she probably had scant minutes, if that, before he found her, she looked around until she spotted a suitable tree, one that was a few meters away from the clearing within the rest of the forest and had low branches. She hauled herself up, climbing until she was about ten feet in the air.

She froze as Bucky walked into the clearing from the other side, his eyes down on the ground as he followed her tracks. He seemed to be in soldier-mode, walking with dangerous, predatory grace. She watched as he nodded his approval to himself at her tactic of returning to the clearing and his gaze lifted to the treeline, looking for where she had gone.

Biting her lip, Katherine carefully gathered a small amount of snow from the branch where she was perched, knowing that she would only get one shot at this. Taking aim, she threw the snowball - his arm immediately shot up to catch it and her snowball disintegrated on impact with his hand.

"Clever," he said approvingly, shaking snow out of his hair as he approached her tree and looked up at her - and _damn_ , winter suited him, Katherine thought to herself, noting the snowflakes lingering in his hair and how his steely blue eyes were an almost perfect match for the sky above. "You confused your trail and found a defensive position from which to strike back, I'm impressed."

"Thanks," she replied, grinning at his approval from her perch high above him, her legs straddling a tree branch and dangling down.

Bucky crouched down to gather another snowball in his hands, making her smile briefly falter. "However your strike didn't work, and now you're up there there is nothing to stop me from doing _this_ ," he said dryly, throwing the snowball at her and striking her on the thigh.

Katherine spluttered out a surprised laugh and reached forward to vigorously shake one of the tree branches in response, sending snow showering down on him and settling in his long, dark hair.

Another snowball struck her chest.

"You're _enjoying_ this, aren't you?" she accused him with a grin, gathering more snow of her own from another branch and compacting it in her hands. "You're a dirty, little -" she threw the snowball down at him, grinning as he dodged it easily, "- _fun-haver_!"

He threw another snowball at her, this one striking her right in the face and making her splutter once more as she swiped a damp sleeve over her face to clear it. "Do you yield?" he asked, giving no indication that he was going to admit he was enjoying himself.

"If I yield can we go inside and make hot chocolate?" she bargained, tilting her head and pouting exaggeratedly at him. "I'm _freezing_."

One corner of his mouth twitched at her expression, almost hidden by the thick stubble covering his jaw, and he nodded up at her.

"I'm coming down," she said, swinging her leg off the branch and starting to pick her way back down the tree the way she'd came. She was only slightly surprised to feel Bucky's hands around her waist once she was half way down and he easily lifted her to the to the ground. "Thanks," she said with an easy smile up at him as he helped her find her feet.

He jerked his head towards the cabin. "Come on, let's get you warmed up," he suggested and started walking back towards the cabin.

Trying to be sneaky, Katherine surreptitiously scrapped some snow off a low branch as she followed him, not ready for the game to be over yet - she took a deep breath and pounced at him, intending to put snow down the back of his coat.

Really she should have known better than to think she could take him by surprise - he dodged, twisted and grabbed her, dragging her down to the ground with him. They fumbled in the snow for several seconds, with Katherine desperately trying to get the upper hand, only to find herself laying flat on her front with her face in the freezing cold snow and Bucky perched on her buttocks, pinning her arms tightly behind her.

"Thought you yielded, doll" he said in an unmistakably Brooklyn drawl, leaning down to speak right in her ear and sounding slightly amused.

Katherine licked her lips to get snow off them and twisted as best she could to look back at him over her shoulder. "No, I just said I was coming down," she reminded him breathlessly.

"Sneaky," he replied as he sat up straighter once more, pressing his lips together and nodding. "Except look where that little deception has got you."

She shifted as best she could, but he didn't give her one inch, if anything tightening his grip on her hands ever so slightly. "You haven't taught me how to get out of this pin yet," she pointed out, wiggling once again and feeling snow go down the front of her coat.

"No, I haven't," Bucky replied lightly, not moving from where he sat on top of her. There was a pause, then he asked, "What do you think you need to do?"

Katherine took stock of the position he had her in - laying on her front, with her arms pulled behind her. "Arms are restrained, legs useless …" she said, knowing she couldn't kick him from this angle. "I've got to … roll?"

"Try it," he suggested from behind her.

She took a deep breath and abruptly pitched her weight to one side, trying to dislodge him - Bucky released her hands from behind her back and shifted with her as she rolled, so that she ended up on her back with him still perched above her, now on her hips.

He gave her an unmistakable smirk, his lips pressed together. "Now this is familiar," he commented dryly, raising a slight brow at her as he referred to their training session in the living room the other day.

Katherine propped herself up on her hands, gathering fistfuls of snow in each and bringing their faces slightly closer together. "You really are enjoying this far too much," she commented, her words coming out slightly breathless as she drew her knees up behind him.

"Perhaps," he admitted, one corner of his mouth twitching once more.

Abruptly, she threw both handfuls of snow up into his face, and used her knees and hips to pitch her weight sideways once more, grabbing his arms as she did so and reversing their positions just as he'd taught her.

" _Yes_!" she said elatedly, straddling his hips, this slight victory (though she _strongly_ suspected that he had once again allowed her to flip him) making her giddy and ridiculous as she pointed down at him. "Do _you_ yield?" she demanded playfully, grinning hugely.

Her grin turned to a loud shriek as he moved like lightning - the world tilted and Katherine found herself sudenly tossed over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Bucky!" she yelled, still laughing in surprise as he started to walk back towards the cabin with his normal arm anchored around her upper thighs. " _Bucky_ , put me down!"

"No, I don't think I will," he replied lightly, sounding clearly entertained.

"Bucky …" she whined through her laughter, kicking her legs fruitlessly in the air beside his head.

The only reply she got was a swat on her ass from his hand.

" _Hey_! she said indignantly, even while laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. She couldn't believe he'd just smacked her - well, more of a light tap than a smack - but on her ass nevertheless. She should not find that as funny as she did, it was not normal.

"Stop fidgeting," he ordered, anchoring her thighs against his shoulder once more. "We'll be back soon and you can get warmed up."

Katherine was seriously tempted to smack his own ass in response, an easy target for her considering it was right below her head, but wasn't sure if she could get away with it. "You're such a _jerk_ ," she said, poking him playfully in the side instead.

He froze, stopping in his tracks, the hand wrapped around her thighs tightening almost painfully.

She twisted to try and see what the sudden problem was. "Bucky?" she questioned, not knowing what was going on.

He exhaled a breath and kept walking. "Just … another memory," he told her, sounding slightly shaken, but not upset.

"Oh yeah?" she asked curiously, wanting to know what he had remembered.

"When I went away to war, saying goodbye to Steve," he told her, making her blink in surprise since he so rarely had memories of Steve; in fact, she was pretty sure the poker night the other day had been one of the first times he'd remembered his friend at all. "He called me a jerk too."

"Have I mentioned how much I _like_ Steve?" she asked him in a light tone, still twisting in his grip to try and look at him. "He sounds like a very sensible person with good instincts about people."

She was rewarded with another swat on her ass for that tongue-in-cheek comment and she laughed once more, hanging her head and feeling positively giddy as he carried her over his shoulder.

"I remember he ditched on a double date that night to go try enlisting for the hundredth time, back when he was smaller," Bucky told her in a Brooklyn drawl, sounding lost in the memory. "We'd gone to the Stark Expo and then we were supposed to go dancing, but he -"

"Wait, wait - you went to a _science convention_ for a date?" she interrupted him gleefully, a grin spreading over her face as she hung upside down. "Please tell me it was your idea."

"Yeah, I think it was ..." he replied slowly, sounding like he didn't know what she was getting at.

"Well, whaddya know?" she said smilingly, poking him in the side once more. "The Winter Soldier, Hydra's ultimate weapon and master assassin … is a secret _nerd_."

There was a pause, and then, "I don't know what that word means, Katya," Bucky said simply and she burst out laughing once more.

* * *

 **So the word nerd didn't exist until the 1950s ...**

 **I couldn't resist more fluff and this came out rather fluffier than I'd intended - but as I've mentioned before I want to get these two to a place of trust and affection before the proper romance / angst begins.**

 **Leave a review, my darlings :)**


	11. Quantum cryptography

Katherine and Bucky were once more in the small clearing not far from the cabin. They were sparring again; since starting her training he had taught her how to throw punches and kicks, as well as different ways to block attacks, get out of pins and fire a gun with a modicum of accuracy. She knew that she was by no means proficient, and still no doubt utterly hopeless against him if he were to actually try in their sparring matches, but she felt like she could now hold her own against a mundane attacker, should the need arise. She was still hitting dead ends with her computer code and she found that the training sessions were helping her to work through her frustration.

As always, Bucky was controlled and careful with her, never attacking unless he warned her first, only blocking her own clumsy attempts at hitting him. "Underhanded fighting techniques, give me two," Bucky ordered, testing her verbally as he blocked the punches she sent towards his face and kidneys with ease.

"Obscure my opponents vision," she replied, panting slightly from the exertion of their sparring.

"With what?" he pressed, dodging a kick she sent his way.

"Sand, dirt, clothing," she rattled off obediently, having been paying close attention to his lessons. She then darted down and scooped up a handful of snow to throw up into his face to prove her point. "Snow," she added with a breathless hint of cheekiness, not that the snow she had thrown had done anything to slow him.

Nevertheless he nodded his approval. "And another one?" he wanted to know, pressing her to continue.

"Wound their advancing leg," she replied, trying and failing to kick his right leg to make her point.

"Good girl," he rumpled in his deep, rasping voice - and, as always, the compliment made her belly flip slightly. "Here's a new one for you. Sometimes you can take a hit in order to see what your opponent's got, or to let them think you're weak," he continued as he ducked a punch with smooth grace. "They'll get overconfident, 'specially with a tiny dame like yourself."

She nodded her understanding, still focused on trying to get a hit in.

"Or you can fake an injury. Like dragging your leg to lull a predator," he added. "So you give a little to get a lot."

She froze with her fists still up and ready to punch, her mind suddenly whirring with possibility. "Oh my God, that's it!"

Bucky frowned at her suddenly freezing, halting himself and lowering his hands. "What's it?"

"My code - how to identify foes from friendlies," Katherine said, quickly thinking it through. "Give a little! In quantum cryptography no measurement or detection can be done to a two-party dialogue without disturbing the system, thereby giving the outsider away..."

Bucky was looking at her in confusion, evidently not understanding the technical jargon she was spouting, his brow furrowed deeply. "Uh, yeah?"

"If you know the hacker's there, you let him in! Layer the code! You _let_ him take information! He'll get more aggressive, then come with BFC, and you shut them all down," she said, putting her hands in her hair and gripping it as she spun around in a circle, overwhelmed by ideas. "You don't have to _have_ an unbreakable code. I … instead of having a _shield_ I can have a _trap_! I can infect my own data, designing it so that when it leaves my system's environment, it can't survive. It will wipe itself out, along with everything around it."

She darted forward and seized him by the front of his jacket, positively dragging him down to her level so that she could plant a kiss on his rough, stubbly cheek, not even noticing how utterly bewildered he was by this or how his gloved, metal fingers came up to lightly touch his cheek. "Thank you!" she said quickly, before running full tilt back towards the cabin to get started on writing her code once more.

For the next several hours she was frantically typing away at her laptop, inputting the new layered code and setting the system to infect her own data with the antivirus that would then track and attack invading malware. The solution was so simple, so _brilliant_ \- there was no way for an attacker to tell that her own data was infected until they had it in their system, by which point it would be too late.

Without realising, she worked through Bucky returning to the cabin as night was falling, holding a freshly caught grouse. Sat at the coffee table with her back to the door, she was unaware of him looking at her for a long moment before moving through to the small kitchen of the cabin and getting started with cooking dinner for the two of them.

Eventually the smell of cooking roused her from her work; she glanced up to find Bucky in the kitchen, plating up two portions of game and vegetables, the table already set and ready. "You cooked?" she asked, slightly bemused as she got up from the sofa and padded curiously towards him.

He glanced up and nodded at her before wordlessly passing her a plate.

"Thank you," she replied as she took it; she then hesitated, glancing between her laptop that still open on the coffee table and the dining table set for two - she wanted to keep working, but also knew that it would be highly rude not to eat with him, especially after he'd gone to the trouble of catching and cooking dinner for them.

"Nuh uh, doll," Bucky said, evidently reading her desire to return to her laptop and taking her elbow to lead her over to the table instead. "You can go back to it after you eat."

She smiled and allowed him to guide her over to the table without protest. The meal was spent with largely her talking - or rather, babbling excitedly as she tried to explain exactly what she was doing with her code. She got the distinct impression that he only understood part of what she was saying, but nevertheless he listened with one corner of his mouth occasionally twitching ever so slightly upwards, as if he was amused by her chatter.

True to his word, he let her carry on with her work straight after eating, even insisting that he do all of the clean up while she got back to it. She eagerly returned to her laptop and continued to type frantically; she may have had something of a breakthrough, but there was still an awful lot of work to be done and she was busily typing lines of code until late into the night, absently nodding her thanks to Bucky when a cup of tea (overly milky, but she had to give him points for effort) appeared at her elbow several hours after dinner.

After a long while, late into the night, Katherine became aware of Bucky watching her once more; she looked up and over her shoulder to find him leaning casually in the doorway of the bedroom, his eyes intent and fixed upon her. He had his arms folded across his chest and was already dressed in his customary nightwear of a tight black t-shirt and dark blue pyjama bottoms. The ends of his long hair were damp, he had evidently had a shower while she had been working.

"What is it?" she asked a little self-consciously, blinking at him behind the lenses of her reading glasses.

"I like watching you work," he confessed quietly, apparently unaware of the effect his rumbling voice had on her. She gave him a shy smile and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, suddenly feeling overly warm beneath his gaze. "Nevertheless, it's late," he added, still leaning in the doorway and jerking his head pointedly back towards the bedroom. "Come to bed."

Katherine bit her lip, returning her gaze to her laptop screen; the small clock in the bottom corner told her that it was nearly three o'clock in the morning. "I want to get this done," she said half-heartedly, knowing she still had a long way to go before she was anywhere near finished and that she could do with getting some rest.

"Your work will still be there in the morning," Bucky pointed out from where he stood.

She hummed slightly and chewed her lip once more, her gaze still fixed on the lines of code on the screen.

There was the sound of faint creaking from the floorboards as walked slowly towards her; raising her gaze, she blinked up at him from where she sat as he towered over her. Wordlessly, he crouched down to her level. She made no move to resist as both of his hands reached out to gently, carefully, tug her glasses from her face, brushing her cheeks as he did so. He placed them on the coffee table before leaning forwards and when he spoke his mouth was inches from her ear, his warm breath on her skin making her heart stutter and race. "Come to bed, Katya," he rasped softly, both the sound of his voice and the implication of his words (did he even know how what he said could be construed?) making her lower stomach flip and clench once again.

She met his eyes and gave him a shaky smile, hoping that the super soldier serum he had been injected with didn't give him enhanced hearing because her heart was galloping in her chest. "Ten more minutes," she promised; Bucky looked at her for a long moment, his wintery eyes moving over her face, then nodded, got to his feet and vanished into the bedroom, leaving the door open for her.

The next few minutes were spent glancing over the work she had done already that night and pulling up another window to note her place and what her next steps in writing were going to be so that she would be able to get started straight away in the morning. Then, by habit, she pulled up the decryption program to check its progress with the SHIELD and Hydra files, as she normally did several times a day; she was unsurprised to find that it was still crunching through combinations.

With that done she put the laptop into sleep mode but left it open on the table and headed through to the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and put on the creamy silk nightdress, which she had left hanging on the back of the door after her shower that morning. She looked briefly in the mirror, taking the time to finger comb her long dark hair before leaving the bathroom.

When she entered the bedroom she found Bucky already in bed; he was sat up against the headboard on what had become his side, his flesh arm folded behind his head and his metal hand in his lap as he waited for her. It was unusual for him to be in bed before her; more often than not he joined her once she was already asleep and so having him waiting for her, joining him in the bed, felt strangely more intimate. His light blue eyes watched her intently as she turned off the light, leaving the bedroom illuminated only by the fire that he must have built up. She approached the bed, slipping in beside him.

Instead of laying down she sat cross-legged, facing him with the covers bunched around her. Their eyes met and she took a deep breath before reaching out and taking his metal hand, covering the smooth, metallic fingers with her own and squeezing slightly as he frowned down at her. "Thank you for today," she said quietly.

"I didn't do anything," he replied, still frowning deeply at their hands though he had made no motion to move his own from her grip.

"Yes, you did," she said firmly, still holding his metal hand. "You helped me passed a block that had been bothering me for days." She grinned at him as she absent-mindedly played with his metal fingers. "I might even give you … five percent of the profits, if I market the code."

Bucky made a small huffing sound that might have indicated amusement, but his gaze was still fixed on the metal hand that she held in her own like he was debating whether or not to pull it back - she had very rarely touched his metal limb, on the few times that she had he had drawn back almost instantly.

Silence fell between them. She too looked down at his hand in hers, examining the tiny plates that made up his fingers and marvelling at the technology before her. Her fingers slipped between his as she traced the lines where the plates met, turning his hand over so that his palm was facing upwards.

Bucky eventually raised his eyes to her face. "Doesn't it bother you?" he asked quietly, a deep crease between his brows as he stared at her intently.

"No," she replied honestly, laying her hand flat against the metal to measure it against her own; it positively dwarfed hers in size and strength and she remembered how he had used it to deflect bullets as they had fled the Hydra safehouse. " I don't like what it represents … the pain, what they did to you, but the arm itself …" She slowly moved her hand as it lay flat on his so that their fingers were interlocked, feeling the cool metal between her finger tips. "It's kind of beautiful."

He shook his head, still scowling. "I hate it," he admitted bitterly, biting out the words. "It's a weapon."

"Only if you use it as such," she pointed out pragmatically as she allowed their fingers to disenterwine, slipping her fingers through his; he tilted his head thoughtfully at her words.

No doubt guessing that she was not finished with her exploration, he obediently kept his palm upwards for her perusal. With one hand cupping the back of his hand, she used her other hand to slowly draw a circle on his palm with her middle finger. His metal fingers twitched and curled slightly in response to the touch. She looked up at him, surprised at what had appeared to be an involuntary movement on his part. "Can you feel this?" she asked, a note of wonder in her voice.

Bucky's gaze had lowered to their hands once more, watching her trace patterns on his palm. "Pressure, but not sensation exactly," he told her, as she drew the circle inwards so that she was drawing a spiral on his palm. "I can feel that your skin is there, but not its softness, its warmth."

"Hmm …" she hummed quietly, marvelling anew at the technology of his arm; she would be lying if she said that his arm hadn't fascinated her from the start, and she was now appreciating this opportunity to examine it closer, somewhat surprised that he was letting her.

There was another long silence between them as her fingers started to move slowly, curiously, up and over his wrist, still tracing the plates and watching how they interlocked with each subtle shift he made. She was aware of Bucky's gaze fixed on her face once more as she lightly trailed her fingers up his forearm and bit her lip, wondering if she should stop her exploration, but he made no move to dissuade her and so she continued.

Her hand ghosted over his elbow as she moved on to his upper arm, noting how the shape and design of the metal prosthetic was almost a mirror image of the defined muscles in his flesh arm. Her fingers paused as she met the sleeve of his black t-shirt and she looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "May I?" she asked quietly, holding his gaze.

Obligingly, he reached over with his flesh hand and raised the sleeve of his t-shirt up high, his eyes never leaving her face; part of his arm was still hidden by the fabric, but his shoulder and a small part of raised, red scar tissue where metal met flesh was exposed to her gaze as she lowered her eyes back to his arm once again. She slowly traced the lines of the red star that was embossed high on his arm and then moved upwards once more. She felt where smooth metal met warm, rough flesh, her fingers lightly touching the ridge of scar tissue on his shoulder.

She was startled when his metal arm suddenly moved, watching the plates shift; the backs of cool, metal fingers touched her cheek, turning her gaze to his face once more. Their eyes met and held for a long moment and she became aware of just how close the two of them were - it felt intimate, like she was exposed to him, and she was aware of her breaths coming quickly.

A quiet thud from outside the cabin caught the attention of both of them.

Faster than she could even follow, Bucky was up and out of bed, alert and ready, with a gun that he had apparently pulled from beneath the bed in his hands. He gave her a highly stern look. "Stay here," he ordered firmly in a tone that brooked no argument, then slipped out of the bedroom on silent feet with his gun poised.

Katherine's heart was pounding in abject fear as she sat in the bed, wondering what could be out there - it could be Hydra, SHIELD, who knew? She bit her lip, staring at the bedroom door and wondering what she should do. She heard a faint noise - it sounded like a huff, or maybe a snort.

"Katya," Bucky called suddenly from the living room, almost making her jump out of her skin.

She scrambled out of bed and cautiously followed him into the living room of the cabin. He was stood at the open doorway, freezing cold air rushing in and making her wrap her arms around herself instinctively. He no longer looked tense and watchful, rather his gun was lowered by his side. She looked at him curiously and he jerked his head, indicating that she should come look outside.

She padded over towards him on bare feet and fearfully peeked past him, her arms still wrapped around herself for warmth.

Her breath exhaled in a rush as she saw the most humongous moose outside the cabin, evidently the source of the noise they had heard. The large animal's breath was steaming as it peacefully explored the trees in front of the cabin, snuffling in the snow with its large nose. She grinned widely up at Bucky, relief flooding through her. "Do you think he's with Hydra?" she asked him playfully.

And then something amazing happened - he _laughed_ , an honest to God laugh. The sound was brief, more of a quiet chuckle really, but a small, sideways grin lingered around his mouth as he met her gaze with his eyes sparkling.

 _I am so screwed_ , Katherine thought to herself, staring up at him in surprise as her heart fluttered in her chest.

Oblivious to the butterflies that were swarming in her stomach, Bucky handed her the gun while he pulled on his snow boots and put his thick jacket on over his pyjamas. "Go back to bed," he told her, his tone uncommonly light as he took the gun back, tucking it into the waistband of his blue pyjama bottoms. "I'm going to scout the perimeter just in case."

She nodded and left him too it, heading back into the warmth of the bedroom, where the fire was still burning merrily. She slipped back beneath the covers and curled up, though it felt odd to be in the bed without him.

She turned onto her back, looking up at the ceiling as she thought about her enigmatic companion. She hadn't been afraid of him for quite some time now, but she still hadn't expected these feelings that had surfaced. She knew about Stockholm Syndrome, even knew that people could form strong bonds when they were isolated together, but this still felt like more than that.

She _liked_ him, plain and simple - moody, complex, sullen and occasionally silent though he was, she couldn't help her feelings.

She didn't, however, have any idea if he felt - or was even capable of feeling, after what Hydra had done to him - the same way.

Her mind was occupied thus for the long minutes that he was gone, her thoughts chasing themselves round in circles. As such, she was still awake nearly an hour later when Bucky slipped silently back into the bedroom, pausing when he found her awake; she turned her head to look at him. "Still up?" he rasped as he got back into the bed beside her, sliding the gun beneath his pillow.

She gave him a half smile, not wanting to divulge what it was that had kept her awake and waiting. "Any Hydra threats lurking out there?" she asked instead. "Maybe a fox?"

"A few suspicious looking rabbits, nothing else," he replied dryly, settling beneath the covers on his side facing her, his metal hand beneath the pillow, no doubt still touching the gun.

Katherine spluttered out a small laugh. "Was that a joke?" she asked, unable to believe just how light hearted he seemed.

One corner of his mouth tugged upwards in what was now unmistakable as a half smile. "If you have to ask then it clearly wasn't a good one," he pointed out, his voice a Brooklyn drawl.

"You're getting there," she said with a smile of her own.

He rumbled slightly and then reached out, wrapping his flesh arm around her and pulling her closer as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "You're freezing," she complained half-heartedly as she settled in his arms, feeling his chilled skin against hers.

He didn't reply, tucking her tighter against him, his flesh hand firm on her back as he held her to him. They were on their sides facing each other, her head tucked beneath his chin. She closed her eyes, settling in against him despite how chilled he was.

She realised it was the first time they had gone to sleep like that, consciously moving into each others arms rather than shifting in the night. It felt comfortable, peaceful, she thought as she let her eyes drift closed, listening to the sound of his breaths in her ear and feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest with each breath as they both dropped off to sleep.

But she should have known that this peace wasn't going to last; unbeknownst to either of them her laptop whirred back to life from where he had been in sleep mode in the living room, a pop up appearing on the still open laptop screen indicating that the Hydra and SHIELD files had finally decrypted.

* * *

 **Dun dun DAHHH!**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies :)**


	12. Decryption

**M rating**

* * *

For once, Bucky was not having a nightmare - in fact, his dreams were rather pleasant.

His dream was blurry, lacking in detail and clarity, but he had the sense of a person, a woman. She was wearing white - a nurses uniform, he knew somehow - and had dark, curled hair. His mouth was on her neck, kissing his way down her throat and he had the vague feeling of his hands on soft curves, of her hands in his short hair.

He woke up in the early hours of the morning, the sun just lightening the curtains, to find a soft, warm body in his arms and a feeling of arousal tightening his groin and pressing against the material of the cotton trousers he wore to bed.

Intellectually, he knew what his erection signified; he had even felt the occasional twitch from his groin when Katherine had done things like walking around the cabin in her nightdress, or having her pressed against him during training over the past days. This, however, was the first time he had found himself truly hard and aroused. It made sense that his body would start to respond in such a way; he was now well and truly detoxed from the cocktail of mood-suppressing and compliance drugs that Hydra had kept him on that had previously suppressed any such bodily functions.

A voice in his head that he very distinctly recognised as being the Bucky Barnes of the forties told him that his current state was not appropriate and the best thing to do was to remove himself from the situation as soon as possible.

Slowly, so as not to wake her, he detached himself from Katherine and slipped from the bed. He gave her one last, lingering look, making sure she was still deeply asleep, before heading through to the bathroom, pausing only to collect clothes for the day. He stripped down and turned on the water, sighing slightly as he stepped beneath the hot, pounding spray.

Bucky hesitated, then braced his metal hand on the tiles of the shower and reached down to wrap his flesh hand around his still straining cock, groaning at the first contact. He closed his eyes and moved his fist up and down his length, acting on instinct as he tried to recapture the memory of the nurse that had awoken him. The details of his dream - memory - were hazy and blurred, and so his mind filled in the gaps; the indistinct features of the nurses' face became Katherine's, her head thrown back as his mouth moved down her neck.

He imagined removing the nurses uniform she wore to reveal the underwear he had seen their first night together, when he had stripped her and put her in the shower of the motel room. The neatly curled hair and pinned hair instead became a loose, dripping mass as he pictured pressing her against the tiles of the shower amidst the hot spray. His hand moved faster, tighter, as he imagined how he would pick her up to wrap her legs around his waist, their hips pressed together as he kissed her.

 _She was his,_ he thought as he pictured removing her underwear to touch her, imagining what her reaction would be. _His girl, his to protect, his to touch, his to -_

He bit back a groan as he came for the first time in over seventy years, feeling the tug of his orgasm deep within his spine. His hand moved slower now over his softening cock and he opened his eyes, noting how the fingertips of his metal hand had left tiny cracks in the tile from where he had dug them in.

He lingered beneath the hot spray of the shower for a while, lost in thought as he analysed his feelings. This had not been his intention when he had first taken her from the museum, or even when he'd practically forced her to stay with him until the files decrypted, and now he didn't know how to proceed. He had kidnapped her and despite her kindness and her seemingly being comfortable in his presence, he couldn't imagine that such feelings would be welcome on her part. After several long minutes of simply standing beneath the hot spray, he reached out to turn off the water with a sigh.

* * *

Katherine had woken to find the bed empty, but still warm. She could hear the sound of the shower running and assumed Bucky had got up a few minutes ago. She sat up, yawned and then stretched, interlocking her arms above her head, before getting up and pulling a jumper on over her nightdress in order to head through to the kitchen.

Bucky emerged from the bathroom just as she was boiling the kettle to make them drinks; the long strands of his hair were dripping with moisture and his face was closed off and thoughtful.

"Hello," she said quietly, smiling softly at him as he paused blinked at her, seemingly surprised to see her already awake.

"Mornin'" he replied hesitantly, his Brooklyn accent breaking through once more. He moved carefully into the kitchen, standing at the counter just out of arms reach; he seemed tense and awkward this morning, but Katherine was well used to his mood-swings and was unphased by the change.

"Did you sleep okay?" she asked in an easy tone, turning back to the kettle, which was just starting to boil.

"Fine," he replied, still staring at her and holding himself unnaturally still. "You?"

She hummed slightly, half wondering what it was that had made him close off this morning but also knowing that he was unlikely to tell her if she asked. Instead, she finished making the drinks and turned to hand his coffee to him, their fingers just brushing. "What's on the agenda for today?" she asked with another smile.

Bucky seemed to shake himself slightly, and when he replied his voice seemed marginally less tense. "Well I assume you'll be continuing with your code?" he said after a moments pause; she grinned in response and glanced at her laptop, which was sitting innocently on the coffee table where she had left it last night, excited to get back to it after her breakthrough yesterday. "I need to chop us some more firewood, then I thought I might do some more fishing." He paused, tilting his head thoughtfully. "And we need to go to town again soon too," he added.

She hummed again, liking the easy simplicity of the day ahead, and got started on making breakfast - her code could wait until they'd eaten, after all.

They ate breakfast and cleared up after themselves, after which Bucky headed outside. Katherine dressed for the day and finally headed over to her laptop to turn it on and get started on her code once again.

"Oh my God …" she said softly to herself as the screen woke up. She stared at it for a long moment, unable to believe what she was seeing, then dashed to the front door. She fumbled with her snow boots, swearing under her breath as she struggled to put them on, then sprinted out of the cabin without bothering to grab her coat. "Bucky! Bucky!" she shouted as she ran, following his footprints in the snow round to the back of the cabin.

Bucky was frozen with the axe he had been using to cut logs poised and ready to use as a weapon. "What is it?" he asked, his eyes scouting over her shoulder for a threat and, when he found none, stepping closer to check her over for injuries. "Are you hurt?"

She took a deep breath, the cold catching in her lungs after her breathless dash out here. "The files have decrypted," she said simply, staring at him.

There was a slight pause, then Bucky dropped the axe and took off at a run back towards the cabin.

Katherine followed, but he was much faster than her. By the time she reached the cabin he was bent over the laptop, looking confused. "What do I click on?" he demanded to know, not knowing how to access the files.

"Hold on," she said, slipping past him to sit in front of the computer to type. "I can search for files with either Sergeant James Barnes or Winter Soldier in them," she said as she quickly filtered the files. She stood up, allowing him to sit down. "There."

Bucky sat down, his gaze fixed on the screen with his eyes flickering rapidly as he read through. He was sitting eerily still, completely silent, his whole body tense with only his flesh hand shaking ever so slightly.

She exhaled a deep, shaky breath as she watched him, then slowly, hesitantly, moved into the kitchen to give him some privacy while he read.

Absently, she made another cup of coffee; she quietly put it down by his elbow, but he ignored it. She bit her lip hard, noticing that his face was getting more and more expressionless, a sure sign of danger, as he continued to read in absolute silence for what felt like nearly an hour.

Abruptly, he stood up, violently shoving the table as he did so and nearly knocking her laptop to the floor. "Bucky -" she started to say, but he ignored her, not even so much as glancing at her; he furiously opened the cabin door, letting it bang loudly off the wall as he did so, and vanished out into the snow without a word.

She dashed to the door, watching him storm into the woods. She debated whether or not to go after him, but eventually decided to give him some space and time alone. She slowly closed the cabin door once more and looked over towards the table, where her laptop was sitting innocently, if at a sight angle from where he had shoved the table.

Katherine hesitantly walked over and sat down at the table in front of her laptop. The numerous files were still open on the screen. She wasn't sure whether or not she should read them, but eventually curiosity won out. She scrolled back to the top of the files, took a deep breath, and started to read, her lips slowly parting in horror as she did so.

It was terrible.

The dossier files detailed how Sergeant James Barnes had been found half-dead by the Soviets in the icy ravine after he had fallen from the train in 1945. His left arm had been severed in the fall and they had dragged him back to the base. His severed arm had been patched up and it was considered unlikely that he would survive - they didn't necessarily need him to survive though, they just wanted his blood and other vital fluids, knowing from his dog-tags who he was and suspecting that he had the same super soldier serum that Steve Rogers had.

But survive he did, against all expectations, and he was imprisoned with the Soviets who had further experimented on him - tests revealed nothing, and it was decided that he be put in statis.

Despite them having little luck with analysing or recreating the serum from his blood, he was kept as a prisoner of the Soviets, in statis, for several years before the return of Armin Zola; Hydra had infiltrated the Soviets, bringing Sergeant Barnes' survival to Zola's attention. He had been the only one to survive the bastardised serum and Zola wanted to use him to further rebuild Hydra, even whilst he worked for SHIELD.

Bucky was revived and given his first arm in 1954, a poor and primitive prototype compared to what it was now, but an arm nevertheless - that particular file marked the start of what was dubbed the Winter Soldier project.

 _ **Major General Vasily Karpov  
** **Head of Special Section** **  
Department X**_

 _TOP KGB CLEARANCE ONLY_

 _Project: Winter Soldier – June 1954_

 _Vokov's man at MI-6, Parsifal, has proved his worth. The schematics for Advanced Robotic Appendages and Attachment he provided two months past were revolutionary. Our science team finished a working prototype and attached it to the American without incident. With the new appendage in place, clearance was given for Department X to begin work on the Winter Soldier Project._

With the project underway, Bucky's memories were wiped for the first time.

It was an imprecise and painful art; the scientist who had written the report she was reading theorised that the only reason his brain wasn't fried, leaving him in a vegetative state, was the bastardised version of the serum that Armin Zola had given him.

The file even included transcripts as they'd tested the effectiveness of the memory wipes, the plain typed letters belaying the agony he must have felt as Bucky _begged_ them to stop.

It took numerous wipes, constant recalibrations of the machine, but it eventually got to the point when he couldn't remember his own name - even then it took several more adjustments of the settings before he stopped screaming for Steve Rogers.

With a blank canvas to work on, then came the brainwashing, encoding commands and trigger words into his brain - the trigger words were not recorded in the files (something that Katherine was relieved to read, realising that anyone who could access the files would have been able to use them against him) since Major General Vasily Karpov kept those written in a separate red book. They had complete control over him and he submitted to additional training and drills without complaint. They didn't hesitate to use him as the weapon he had been made into.

She continued to read and was surprised to find that their control over him was not as complete as they'd hoped.

 _ **Project: Winter Soldier  
Scientific analysis, 7 June 1957**_

 _A comprehensive mental evaluation of Codename: Winter Soldier was conducted over the course of the past week. Diagnoses are varied, but most in Dept. X Science Team believe that his mental state is becoming unstable. In the three years since he was awakened from stasis, it appears his mind is seeking to fill in the holes in his memory, or possibly rebelling against the implanted programming he received originally. The subject has recently begun to exhibit more than usual curiosity, even to the point of questioning orders from superiors, and once in the past month, he attacked a fellow operative, nearly killing him. On interrogation, he could not explain his actions._

 _One theory is that just as he has reflex-memories which allow him to be such an effective operative, he may also have a deeply buried sense on who he was, or at least of what kind of person he was. As such, this deeply buried idea may be causing him mental stress and triggering turmoil in his thoughts. Another theory, which is more disturbing, is that he may actually be remembering his previous life, though in small pieces only._

 _It is therefore our recommendation that Codename: Winter Soldier be kept in stasis between missions, and that he undergo Mental Implantation at every awakening. We believe this will correct his instability issues, so he can continue to be of use to Department X_

There it was, the answer to how he appeared not to have aged in seventy years - they had kept him in cryofreeze, bringing him out when he was needed. He was wiped before and after every mission, pumped with chemicals and drugs. Mood suppressors, compliance agents, anything to keep him under their control - control that he was clearly fighting, if the need for such measures was any indication.

What followed the historical and medical files were mission reports, systematically detailing each and every mission he had been dispatched on, complete with photos of targets and mission outcomes, all the way up to a man called Nicholas Fury, who had apparently been the Director of SHIELD.

They started as Soviet enemies - a United Nations Diplomatic Negotiation Team, a NATO General, a British Ambassador, a French Defence Minister, a United States Colonel, an Algerian Peace Conference Envoy - but as the Soviets were absorbed by Hydra the targets became Hydra's enemies.

Perhaps most horrifically, the Winter Soldier had been dispatched to kill Howard Stark; she knew from the Smithsonian exhibit that the two of them had been friends in the war - the fact that Bucky had unknowingly been forced to kill his friend was both cruel and tragic.

Every single mission had been successful … and there was nearly fifty of them spread out over the decades since the program started. He was cold, ruthless and efficient, taking out targets without any thought for collateral damage or casualties left in his wake and never once showing even a hint of remorse or feeling.

Katherine had tears running down her cheeks by the time she finished reading; her shaking hand was covering her mouth as she tried not to sob and her heart absolutely aching for him.

She looked towards the cabin door; it was well over an hour since he had walked out into the snow and still he hadn't returned. Scrubbing the tears from her cheeks, she stood up and put on her coat, determined to go out after him.

It wasn't hard to follow his tracks, though he had gone further than she had anticipated. At first his footprints were deep and even, then they became more spaced out, the indent of his toes and the balls of his feet in the snow rather than his heels, as if he had started running. She walked through the snow for what felt like over three miles before she eventually found him.

He was kneeling at the base of a huge pine tree, with a wide trunk that was several meters in diameter. He was punching the tree over and over, using both fists to do so. The tree trunk was splintered and buckling beneath his metal arm, but the fist of his flesh hand was covered in blood that was dripping into the snow beneath him.

"Bucky?" she said quietly, staring at his back with wide eyes.

He froze, his metal hand still poised in the air to land another hit. "Go back inside," he said in a dull, emotionless voice, not even turning to face her.

Katherine simply stared at him, her teeth clamped down on her cold, wind-chapped lips. She didn't want to leave, nor did she know what she could even do to help.

Bucky clearly sensed that she hadn't moved. He slowly turned to face her, his expression dark and more dangerous than she had ever seen it. "I _said_ …" he repeated, his voice coming out as a downright snarl as he glared at her. " _Go back inside,_ Katya."

She held his eyes for a long moment, then hesitantly nodded. She turned around and started to head back the way she had came. She heard the sounds of more punches, more wood splintering beneath metal, and felt tears welling up in her eyes once more.

It was a long, lonely walk back to the cabin, which felt cold and empty when she arrived. It was still daytime and so she couldn't yet light a fire. Instead, she got out the first aid kit from one of the bags they had taken from the Hydra safehouse and sat down at the table, waiting for him to come back.

It wasn't until darkness had truly fallen many long hours later that he eventually returned. Katherine had lit a fire, meaning that the cabin was warm once more, but she was still sat waiting for him. Bucky came quietly back into the cabin, bringing a gust of frigid air with him before he shut the door behind him.

Katherine leapt to her feet, her breath catching in her throat. "Come here," she told him, her tone soft and firm.

Wordlessly, he did so, allowing her to guide him into a seat at the table. His face was once more blank and expressionless, like carved marble, reminding her of how he had seemed when they had first met at the museum. "Give me your hand," she ordered; obediently, he offered his cold, bloody, bruised hand to her with his palm tilted up, an oddly vulnerable gesture.

She exhaled another shaky breath as she turned it over so that his knuckles were facing up and surveyed the damage he had done to himself. His hand was tinged black and yellow with bruising beneath the dried, red bloodstains from numerous cuts, many of them with splinters of wood embedded into them.

"I think you must have broken several bones," she said softly, breaking the silence that had reigned between them.

"It will have healed by morning," he said in a quiet rasp, the first words he had spoken; his gaze was fixed down on his hand, but from the slightly glazed look in his eyes she assumed he wasn't really looking at it.

She hummed slightly before getting to work, using tweezers to pick the splinters of wood out of his knuckles. It was a long process, taking several minutes, but eventually she was able to move on to gently cleaning the blood from his entire hand. Once she had finished she gently bandage his hand with a roll of gauze, weaving the bandage so that it held his fingers together.

When she was done she carefully held his hand in both of hers and raised her gaze to study his face. He looked exhausted and pained, his gaze hollow, nothing like the man she'd gone to bed with the night before. "Are you hurt anywhere else?" she asked quietly. He gave her an almost imperceptible head shake and she nodded in response. "Okay," she said.

There was a long, lingering silence between them while she waited for him to speak, still holding his bandaged hand in both of hers.

"Talk to me, Bucky," she eventually said softly, wanting him to speak.

He hesitated, taking a breath, and for a long moment she thought he wasn't going to say anything at all. "They made me into a weapon," he finally said, sounding like he was trying hard to control his voice. "A monster."

Katherine shook her head, leaning forward slightly. "It wasn't you," she replied, trying to look in his eyes and remembering how the files said they had encoded trigger words and kept him on compliance drugs. "You didn't have a choice."

He didn't reply, though his jaw visibly clenched, his gaze trained downwards, away from her.

"I … I read the files, Bucky," she told him, hoping that he wouldn't be angry with her for that. She felt him tense slightly, but still he didn't look at her. "It said you needed to be wiped before and after every mission to keep you loyal, that there were times you did go off-grid and had to be bought back in," she reminded him. "You must have been fighting, _so hard_ ," she finished, her voice catching on the vicious lump that had formed in her throat, remembering how she had read that he had still called for Steve even after he had forgotten his own name.

"Not hard enough," he said in a dull voice, still not looking at her.

"They were _controlling_ you," she insisted firmly, trying to get through to him. "And when you broke free you -"

"Kidnapped a woman," he finished for her, his expression dark and cold as he finally looked up and met her eyes.

Katherine blinked several times, thrown by the sudden shift in the conversation. "D-do you think I'm here against my will?" she asked him, her voice catching once more.

"Aren't you?" he said, his dangerous gaze fixed on her face.

She shook her head earnestly. "I could have left," she said, entreating him with her eyes. "When you put the keys in my hand and left me in the car. I chose not to."

"For safety," Bucky said, clenching his jaw once more as he referred to how Hydra had seen her face and would know her to be an associate of his. "From a danger that I put you in."

She shook her head once more. "Not just for safety," she told him quietly, in a barely audible voice.

He abruptly jerked his hands from hers, standing up and walking around the table as if to put distance between them. "Then why are you here?" he demanded as he gripped the back of one of the wooden chairs with his metal hand, his head lowered, once again not looking at her.

"Because you needed help," she replied honestly, staring at his back.

The wood splintered under his hand and she automatically flinched ever so slightly. "I don't deserve your help," he said darkly, shaking his head.

Katherine got to her feet, moving around the table to stand beside him. "Hey," she said determinedly, taking his arm to turn him so that they were standing face to face. "I was walking around that exhibit for nearly an _hour_ before I saw you there," she told him, remembering the laughing, handsome, charming man that she had seen in the footage and photos; him leant over a map spread out on the hood of a truck with the thoughtful frown she now knew so well, laughing with Steve Rogers, walking and cradling a rifle in his arms with his army shirt half unbuttoned. "I read all about you, I saw footage. You were, you _are_ , a good man," she said, jabbing her finger into the center of his chest as he towered over her to try and make her point.

"You read the files?" he asked in a curiously dead voice, staring down into her face with an angry glint in his blue eyes. She nodded hesitantly, wondering if his anger was directed at her for having read them. "Then you know that's not true, _sweetheart_ ," he added bitterly, hissing the endearment right into her face like he was using it as a weapon.

"Bucky …" she said quietly, but he wasn't finished yet.

"As I was reading I remembered those missions, I remembered the face of every _single_ person I've killed," he told her furiously, seizing her shoulders to shake her slightly to emphasise his point. "People think snipers are removed from their targets, at a distance, but they're _not_ ," he continued, his voice coming as a quiet snarl as his fingers dug painfully into her skin. "They're close. Through that scope they are as close as you and me."

He released her abruptly, as if realising what he was doing, and turned away from her. He took several steps, facing the door of the cabin. "I'm a monster," he finished quietly once again, the words almost lost with how softly he spoke.

Katherine took several deep breaths as she tried not to cry, not moving from where she stood. Eventually, she felt like she was able to speak without her voice breaking. "If you ask me, there were two victims in every mission Hydra sent you on. The target, and the man pulling the trigger," she said, her voice shaking ever so slightly as she stared at his back. "You are a _victim_ in this, Bucky … and I believe that with all my heart."

"ты невыносимо наивныйin," he said in Russian, still facing away from her, his words dark and bitter.

She blinked at the foreign language, knowing from his nightmares and mood swings that it was rarely a good thing when he spoke in Russian. "W-what does that mean?"

Bucky turned to glare at her, his jaw clenched and his mouth pressed into a thin line as his eyes shone angrily. "It means you are unbearably naive," he told her bitterly, before storming passed her into the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him.

Katherine slowly lowered herself into one of the chairs, trying not to cry. She flinched as she heard the unmistakable sound of glass shattering from the bathroom, the sound being enough to break the dam of her tears once more.

She scrubbed at her cheeks as the tears continued to fall, knowing well enough not to go after him so soon after he had left.

She sat like that for a long time before she eventually looked up and, after a moment's thought, pulled her laptop towards her once more. She was far too overwrought to even think about working on her code; instead she looked over his files once more, hoping to find something that might help him.

She was struck anew by how inhuman they had treated him - being hosed down with icy jets of water rather than a shower, sleeping on a hard bench rather than a bed in the times he was out of cryo-freeze for long periods, drugs to suppress endorphins, dopamine, even sexual arousal, not even having the dignity of his own name, always being called either Soldier or Asset.

Eventually, after many long, long minutes, the sound of the shower running once more roused her from where she sat at the table.

Curious, she got up and walked over towards the bathroom. She immediately exhaled a deep, relieved breath when she saw that the door was open a few inches - she knew that he had initially slammed it shut, and so the fact that he had decided to open it felt almost like an invitation.

Carefully, she pushed open the bathroom door and peeked inside.

The mirror above the sink was shattered with an unmistakable indent from a fist right in the centre, glass littering the sink, as if he had struck out at his own reflection. Bucky himself was standing fully clothed beneath the spray of the shower with his back to her; he had both hands braced on the tiles, his head lowered between them as the water cascaded over him. There was a faint impression of cracks in the tiles near his metal hand.

Katherine bit her lip, feeling a sense of deep hesitation. What she was contemplating could break the fragile trust they had built, but at the same time she felt that he needed comfort and company. The fact that he had unlocked and opened the door for her rather than leaving it closed swayed her and she stepped into the bathroom.

Slowly, still hesitating, she pulled her jumper over her head, dropping it down next to Bucky's shoes, the only item of clothing he had removed before getting in the shower. Her t-shirt, jeans and socks followed, until she was left in just her underwear.

She slipped into the large shower cubicle with him, feeling the pounding heat of the water from the different shower heads. Gently, she placed her hands on his clothed back; he shuddered at the touch, but made no move to tell her to leave.

There was a long silence, during which she wrapped her arms around him and rested her cheek on the sodden material of his t-shirt between his shoulder blades, hoping to reassure him with her presence. She could feel his deep, shuddering breaths and, when he finally spoke, his voice rumbled through his torso. "прости. Мне очень жаль," he said, still not moving from where he stood.

Katherine tightened her arms around him. "English, please," she said quietly, keeping her cheek pressed against his back.

She felt him take a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Katya," he said simply, the regret and reproach evident in his voice and she knew that he was apologising for his violent actions and the way he'd spoken to her.

"Shh, it's alright," she soothed, shifting so that it was her forehead pressed into his back as she closed her eyes. "I've got you."

She felt rather than saw him lift his head slightly. "How can you stand to be close to me?" he asked, sounding genuinely bewildered by this.

"I'm not afraid of you," she replied, pressing herself against his back.

Bucky moved quickly, turning to face her, and she was confronted by a frowning, dripping wet mountain of super soldier in the small space of the shower. "You should be," he said deeply, his eyes like a winter storm as he reached out to wrap his metal hand around her throat.

Katherine felt a flash of fear as he backed her into the wall of the shower, wondering if she had miscalculated, then realised that the hand around her throat was touching her with feather lightness, as if she was made out of glass. "Do you have any idea how breakable you are?" he continued, positively towering over her as he pressed her against the tiles, her own hands splayed on the wall behind her. "I've killed so many people and I could kill you easily, in so many different ways."

She met his eyes. "You won't hurt me, Bucky," she said softly, determined not to show fear.

His features softened slightly as she held his gaze. " No …" he said slowly, his metal hand moving lightly up her neck and fisting in the dripping mass of hair at the base of her skull. "No, I won't hurt you, doll."

He used the hand in her hair to tilt her head slowly, inexorably, to one side before burying his face in her neck. She closed her eyes as she felt his forehead pressed against the junction where her shoulder met her throat, his breaths warm on the damp skin of her collarbone.

He stayed like that for a long moment, meanwhile her own hands came up to grip his shoulders to steady herself. Seemingly taking this as a cue to move, he ran his nose up the length of her neck, still using his hold on her hair to keep her skin exposed to him. Her own hands moved slowly down his chest and paused at the hem of his t-shirt.

"Arms up," she ordered simply after a long moment. Bucky drew back ever so slightly and looked at her, his light blue gaze no longer quite so dangerous and stormy, with no small amount of confusion in his gaze. "You can't shower with your clothes on," she added, pointedly gripping the hem of his sodden t-shirt. "Arms up, Sargeant."

Calling him that had been a gamble, wanting to remind him of the man he had been, one that paid off if the slight, hungry flash in his eyes was any indication - it was a look that she hadn't seen from him before, gone as quickly as it came, but it reassured her that her feelings may not be entirely one-sided.

Obligingly, he released her hair and raised both arms, allowing her to pull the drenched material up and over his head. The defined muscles of his torso and his complete metal arm was revealed to her gaze; she had seen him thus before, when she'd had to dig the bullets out in the motel room, but now she felt like she could look and appreciate as she hadn't done then.

She dropped the soaking t-shirt to the shower floor, returning her hands to his waist; meanwhile, Bucky's hands came up to brace themselves on the wall on either side of her, as if caging her between his arms. He was staring intently into her face, seemingly waiting for her next move.

Slowly, holding his gaze, her hands moved down his sides until she reached the waistband of the dark trousers that he wore. Her fingers moved inwards along the waistband until her hands met in the centre between them. She undid the button and watched as a faint crease appeared on his brow as he frowned slightly, clearly unsure. "Just a shower," she reassured him in a whisper. "Trust me."

He nodded and she pulled his drenched trousers down his legs; Bucky stepped out of them and kicked them to one side. He was left standing before her in just his underwear, dark navy blue boxers that were just as soaked as the rest of his clothing.

Their eyes were still locked, warm water cascading down their bodies from the multiple shower heads as his arms kept her trapped between him and the tiles. It felt like a pivotal moment; part of Katherine wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him, to _show_ him that she wasn't afraid, but she also had the sense that he wasn't ready for that yet, certainly not after just reading those files - and she didn't think she could bear it if he pushed her away.

Instead, she cast a small smile his way and made to move past him; he immediately lowered one arm, no longer keeping her caged against the wall, allowing her to move. She picked up her shampoo and poured a little onto her hands, lathering it up before starting to shower as normal - or as normal as could be whilst still wearing her underwear and with a half naked, handsome man in the shower with her staring intently at her every move.

She kept her eyes closed and her back to him as she washed her hair, tilting her head back to allow the soap and conditioner to rinse out. She then moved on to her body wash, lathering it up before moving her hands over her skin, perhaps slightly slower and more sensously than she would have done if she was alone. She paused halfway through washing and finally glanced over her shoulder, unsurprised to find Bucky's eyes still fixed on her, his eyes dark in a way that made her lower stomach flip. "Will you do my back?" she asked, holding the body wash out towards him.

He took it from her and she turned her back to him, waiting. There was nothing for several heartbeats, then she felt him behind her. He carefully moved her long, dripping hair over one shoulder, and then there was another long pause.

Suddenly, she felt both of his hands at her waist, moving up her ribcage and then gliding over her shoulder blades before travelling down her back again. The contrast between his two hands was evident as they moved over her skin - one rough, calloused and bandaged, the other hard and smooth metal. She gasped slightly, arching her back as he dug his thumbs ever so slightly into the base of her spine.

His hands vanished from her back and she was about to turn around, only to then feel his hands wrapped around her ankle. Confused, she glanced over her shoulder to find him kneeling behind her; he didn't seem to notice her look, focused on his task as his soapy hands moved slowly up one leg, then he repeated the process with the other.

 _Just a shower,_ Katherine thought slightly deliriously as she felt his metal hand gliding up her inner thigh, silently thanking any deity that might be listening that she had shaved her legs yesterday.

She took a deep breath and turned to face him, positively trembling from even that simple touch. "Your turn," she said, her voice coming out slightly huskier than she had intended.

He stepped further into the spray that was no longer quite as hot, the water cascading down his defined muscles. He started washing his torso, meanwhile she moved behind him. She poured a little of his pine scented body wash onto her palm and lathered it up, before running her hands up his back. The muscles there were hard and defined and she savoured the feel of them beneath her fingers.

When she was done with his back she moved around in front of him once more. Bucky looked much more calm and relaxed than he had done before, though pain still lingered in his eyes as he looked down at her - she got the sense that that pain wasn't going to go away any time soon. She placed a single hand over his heart, feeling the regular beats within his chest. He reached for her, drawing her into his arms beneath the rapidly cooling spray and pressing his forehead against hers with a deep sigh.

" … I feel like I'm broken, Katya," he admitted after a long moment in a small, sad voice that fairly broke her heart after everything that had happened that day.

"Hey," Katherine said quietly over the sound of the shower; he opened his eyes, but kept his forehead pressed to hers. "Today was rough, but we can't put the lid back on the box and we are going to have to deal with what is in those files, however you want to do that," she told him, not knowing what would happen next - he might want to move against Hydra and get revenge, or perhaps he'd move them from the cabin and isolate them even further in the wilderness for safety from those who were no doubt still looking for them. She reached out to cup his stubble-covered cheeks in both of her hands. "No matter what happens ... I'm with you, Bucky."

"... To the end of the line," he said very softly, deep furrows appearing in his brow; she knew that look, he tended to get it when he remembered something. The water started to go properly cold and he automatically reached out to turn it off, their faces no longer pressed together. "That's what Steve used to say," he added absently as they stood dripping in the shower, clearly lost in thought.

She managed to smile at him, moving her hands from his cheeks to loop her arms round his neck instead, both of them still dripping in the shower. "Smart guy, your friend Steve," she said and he managed a very weak, half smile in response, the barest twitch of his mouth. "Come on," she added in a purposefully light voice, jerking her head towards the bathroom door. "Let's get dressed and make some dinner, I promise everything always looks better after food."

Bucky nodded and obediently followed her out of the bathroom, clearly deep in thought once more.

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay in updating - I've had a manic week at work, what with end of term data needing to be submitted and reports needing to be written, not to mention a small implosion in my personal life - suffice to say it has most emphatically not been a good week for me :/**

 **Extracts in italics are taken from Marvel's Winter Soldier Dossier.**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies**


	13. Steve Rogers

The following morning found Bucky sat up against the headboard of the bed as the sun crept over the still and silent horizon. Katherine was asleep with her head in his lap and he had the fingers of his metal hand threaded through her hair. Tiny, downy feathers littered the bed around them, having exploded from a pillow that he had shredded with his metal hand in the midst of a nightmare.

Reading those files had torn a scab off a wound that had been festering in his mind, only now he was bleeding anew, overwhelmed by dark memories that he desperately wished he didn't have.

He had scarcely slept all night - the nightmares had come heavily when he had tried to sleep, worse even than when he had first left Hydra after the incident with the helicarriers. He'd turned violent, having only a hazy grasp on his self control and causing no small amount of damage around the cabin.

It had been a long night to say the least.

His mood had oscillated wildly all throughout the night - the shattered mirror in bathroom, the shredded pillow, a knife embedded in the living room wall, the smashed glass in the kitchen and the coffee table overturned from where he had kicked it were all a testament to that.

Katherine had been with him the whole time, talking him down, calming him when he needed it. She seemed to intuitively know when to sit silently as he had raged and when to talk to him, when not to touch him and when to take his hand in hers.

He had not behaved well, he knew that.

He threaded his hand through her hair, allowing the long, brown strands to sift through his metal fingers, keeping him calm and grounded. As he did so he couldn't help thinking about how his hands had felt on her skin in the shower yesterday; feeling like he could span her waist with both hands as he had smoothed them down her ribcage or how he had glided them up her legs. He remembered the feeling of her own hands on him in turn, cupping his face, gripping his shoulders or trailing down his stomach.

Hell, watching her washing her hair had to be the single, best memory he currently had in his torn-up mind.

Absently, he twirled a lock of hair around his fingers and she let out a faint sigh as she woke, rubbing her cheek slightly on his thigh. He heard her yawn and her hand came up to curl around his knee. She shifted once more and, despite obviously being awake, she stayed where she was, letting him continue to card his hand through her hair as the silence stretched out between them for several long minutes.

"Are you going to leave?" Bucky asked eventually in a voice that sounded blank even to his own ears, staring at the bedroom wall opposite.

That made Katherine sit up suddenly to look at him; she blinked at him in obvious confusion. "What are you talking about?" she wanted to know, frowning slightly at him, her hand still resting on his leg.

"I promised I would let you go once the files had decrypted," he explained simply, looking at her with the corners of his mouth pulled distinctly downwards. It was a thought that had struck him in the dark, early hours of the morning, when she had been asleep - the idea that he might have to let her go.

Katherine's lips parted, her eyes wide as her mouth opened and closed several times. She looked downright horrified at his words, blinking at him in bewilderment. "Do ...do you want me to leave?" she asked eventually, her voice coming out very small.

"No," he said immediately, noting how she seemed to breath a sigh of relief at that, closing her eyes. "In fact I'd go as far as to say that I _need_ you to stay," he added honestly, not knowing where he would be without her.

Carefully, he reached out and cupped her cheek in his flesh hand, which he had unbandaged in the middle of the night while she had slept since it had already healed. "I know I'm not … entirely sane, especially after reading those files," he told her as she opened her eyes to meet his own and her hand came up to cover his hand on her cheek, warm and soft. "But it's better with you. You keep me calm, grounded … You make me feel human." He tilted his head ever so slightly to one side as he looked at her, his gaze travelling over her face. "Without you I fear I'd go back to being the soldier," he finished quietly.

"Then I'm not going anywhere," she said firmly and it was his turn to sigh in relief. She turned her head so that she could press her lips to the centre of his palm in a quick, searing kiss, her hot breath on his skin making his fingers curl. She then lowered his hand to examine it, no doubt noticing that it was no longer bandaged. She brushed her fingers over his palm and then turned his hand over; she lightly caressed her fingertips over the smooth, scar free skin of his knuckles where his injuries had been yesterday before she looked up into his face searchingly for a long moment. "Are you okay?" she asked gently, her voice quiet and soft in the morning light.

There was a long silence, during which he looked thoughtfully at the bedroom wall once more while she waited patiently for him to speak - he knew full well what she was asking, she wanted to know what he planned to do now the files had decrypted.

"Part of me wants revenge," he admitted after a while. "To hunt down Hydra and exterminate them, to make each and every one of them pay," he said in a grim tone, knowing that he could do it - he knew names, safehouses and tactics, after all, even alone he could do it with relative ease.

Katherine hummed slightly as she continued to play with his hand, entwining their fingers, calming him as cold, violent thoughts loomed in his mind. "And the other part of you?" she wanted to know, her gazed fixed up at him.

"The other part of me wants to just stay in this cabin … with you," he added honestly, turning to face her and meet her eyes. "To fish and hunt, living off the land." He took a deep breath and shook his head slightly. "But we can't stay here forever and I know that we won't be completely safe until Hydra is gone," he said, a note of finality in his voice - they would not be able to hide indefinitely, after all.

Katherine bit her lip, letting it drag through her teeth before she spoke. "I know Hydra did terrible things, Bucky, but that doesn't mean that _you_ are the one that has to hunt them down and destroy them," she said; he frowned slightly, unsure what she was getting at. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and she continued. "If you ask me, you need to focus on regaining your memories, on figuring out who you are ... Steve Rogers is dealing with Hydra. He's an Avenger, it's his job." She smiled at him and gently raised a hand to rest it on his own rough, stubble-covered cheek. "Let him deal with it while you focus on yourself," she suggested softly.

"It's not my mission," Bucky said with quiet intensity, thinking through what she had said.

"What?" she questioned, blinking at him.

"Hydra is not my mission, not yet," he repeated, then looked at her and nodded once, crisply. "Thank you," he added, genuinely grateful for the clarity that she had just provided.

She blinked once more in obvious bewilderment and so he clarified his meaning. "Having an objective helps me think," he told her honestly. "At the museum my mission was to find out who I was. That mission hasn't changed, except I now need to keep you safe as well." He nodded to himself, satisfied with how he had settled things in his head; vengeance would come in time, but Hydra was not his priority at the moment.

His words, however, seemed to have confused Katherine even more. "What do you mean, it's your mission to keep me safe?" she wanted to know, lowering her hand from his face as she tilted her head at him.

"It was my actions that put you in harms way," he reminded her, knowing full well that she wouldn't be in any of this mess if it wasn't for him. "It's my responsibility, my mission, to keep you safe."

"I - I don't ..." she started to say, clearly bewildered as she trailed off.

Bucky crooked his metal finger under her chin, angling her face up towards him so that she met his eyes. Their gazes locked and held, her lips parting slightly at the sudden intensity of his stare as he searched her face. "You're _mine_ , Katya. Mine to protect," he told her simply, meaningfully, trying to pour everything that he couldn't articulate into those words. "Say that you understand."

"I understand," she breathed back instantly, a faint, hectic blush colouring her cheeks.

"Good girl," he rumbled, chucking her chin with his finger as he praised her. His gaze lingered on her for a long moment, then he got out of bed, pulling his t-shirt over his head as he did so. "Come on, we're going to town," he told her as he put on a vest top and buttoned up a plain, flannel shirt over it.

"We are?" she asked curiously, wrapping her arms around her legs as she watched him dress from the centre of the bed, the silk of her nightdress hitched up around her knees in a distinctly distracting fashion.

"Got some repairs to make," he said in a slightly sheepish tone; he had done no small amount of damage to the cabin last night that needed fixing, the bathroom mirror for one thing. "And I figue you've got things you want to get too," he added, knowing she would want to come as well. She nodded and smiled, and he once more reached out to touch her cheek with the backs of his flesh fingers as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Get dressed then, doll."

* * *

"Hey, Cap," Sam called from where he sat at the computer.

Steve turned his head from where he had been looking at a large pin-board that dominated the centre of the room. The board contained large maps of the USA, Canada and Russia, not to mention numerous post-its, pages from files and a few photographs. There were several blue dots indicating potential sightings and three red X's drawn on the maps to indicate places where they were reasonably certain Bucky had been: one on what had been a Hydra safe house in the New York suburbs, where there had been a shoot-out several days after the helicarriers in which several Hydra agents had been found dead, the house stripped of anything useful; the second marked a spot less than a day's drive from New York, near Chicago, where a car that had been stolen from DC had been found riddled with bullet holes the day after the shoot-out and another car had been stolen on the same day less than a mile away; and the third X was a few hundred kilometres from Calgary, where just last week hikers had found the second stolen car abandoned and hidden in the woods. "What is it?" Steve asked, approaching his friend to look at the computer screen over his shoulder.

"We've got a hit on one of the license plates we were running," Sam explained, opening the program. "Red pick-up, second hand."

Steve nodded, knowing the car he meant - he and Sam had spent the past week based in a hotel in Calgary scouting bus stations, train stations, airports and used car dealerships within a 200 mile radius of where the car had been found and had several possible leads, all of them vague and thready to say the least. This particular pick-up had been bought by a guy that had loosely matched Bucky's description around three weeks ago; the salesman had been by no means certain, but it had been enough to get Steve's hopes up. The salesman had, however, been able to provide a number plate of the car that had been bought, which was what had just been flagged in the program Sam was running.

"Where did it turn up?" Steve wanted to know - they'd had no luck with any of the buses, trains or planes, so he was eager for anything that might turn into a lead to his friend.

"Little town called Chetwynd, Canadian outback," Sam said, pulling up the map and highlighting an area practically in the Rockies - the Quinjet was in a hanger just outside Calgary, they could get there within an hour. "It just got picked up by a camera."

"Footage?" Steve asked intently.

"Just the one picture," Sam replied as a slightly blurred photo filled the screen - it was of the back of the red pick-up as it drove, the license plate just legible, but was impossible to see who was driving.

Steve nodded with determination. "It's the best lead we've got, let's check it out."

* * *

Katherine hummed slightly to herself as she bagged up the groceries that she had just bought from the same outlet store they had visited previously, taking care not to make eye contact with the cashier as she kept her head down low to avoid the cameras in the store. She had the same cap emblazoned with a maple leaf that Bucky had bought her from a gas station on, her long hair down to provide extra cover.

She couldn't say why she was in such a good mood, after last night she should be anything but. Watching Bucky work through his memories after the files had decrypted had been terrible - over the course of the night he had raged, shouted, sat silent and sullen for hours at a time and screamed as his nightmares overwhelmed him.

Perhaps it was something to do with him threading his hand through her hair, calling her doll, telling her that she was his that had her in a good mood.

" _You're mine, Katya. Mine to protect," he'd said posessively, the intense look in his eyes making her heart stutter in her chest. "Say that you understand."_

She understood that she was completely screwed, head over heels for her erstwhile kidnapper.

She headed out of the store with her bags in hand, making her way towards where he had parked the truck - only to abruptly freeze at what she saw.

Steve Rogers - Captain America himself and Bucky's former best friend from WWII - was stood beside their truck with another tall, dark skinned man that she vaguely recognised from the news back in DC, seemingly checking out the number plate.

Before she could even move the two men both turned to look at her, straightening up. "Hey, is this your truck?" the dark skinned man called over to her.

"Uh, yeah," she said slowly as she put her shopping bags down on the floor, her eyes flicking between the two men - she had thought about lying for a second, but the truck was the only one parked in this area of the carpark and so it had been fairly obvious that it was what she had been walking towards - she cursed herself for not having been paying attention, for practically having walked right up to them.

Besides, if they were tracking Bucky then saying that the truck was hers might throw them off the scent.

"My name is Steve Rogers, this here is Sam Wilson," Steve said politely, introducing them both. "Do you mind if we ask you a few questions?"

"Sure …" she said hesitantly, knowing full well that she'd now have to lie and frantically trying to think of what to say.

"Where'd you get the truck?" Steve asked her, staring into her face.

"Bought it off some guy," she told him, thinking that perhaps she could give him some kind of false leads to follow so that Bucky wouldn't be found. "He'd just bought a bigger truck and he was getting rid of it. Got a cheap deal on it too," she added, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and then immediately lowering her hand when she realised it was shaking, not wanting them to spot it.

Sam Wilson, however, did not seem convinced. "You alright, Miss?" he asked, looking down at her with a hint of suspicion in his eyes. "You seem ... nervous."

Katherine managed a shaky smile. "Just a little flustered, I guess. Not every day that you meet a superhero," she said, purposefully trying to sound embarrassed as she glanced pointedly in Steve's direction, as if to imply that she was starstruck by him.

It seemed to work, if the slight twitch of Sam's lips and the faintly exasperated look he shot his friend was any indication.

"What did this guy look like, ma'am?" Steve asked her, getting back to business, all old fashioned manners and politeness.

"Tall, broad. Long dark hair, bit of scruff," she replied, purposefully describing Bucky and hoping that they would take the bait.

Steve pulled out his phone and tapped briefly on the screen. "This him?" he wanted to know, turning the phone to face her. On the screen was a slightly blurry photograph of Bucky, probably taken from a security camera back in DC. He was wearing the same dark combat clothes and leather jacket that she had seen him in on the news, but the picture was angled so that his metal arm was out of sight.

"Yeah, I think so," she said slowly and the two men looked at each other.

What Katherine didn't know was that she was one of the first people they had met who had apparently seen Bucky and lived to tell the tale, not to mention the first concrete eye-witness that they'd had of his movements since leaving DC - as such she had just inadvertently made herself their most valuable lead in their search.

Steve seemed tense, like he was suppressing nervous energy. "Where did you meet him?" he wanted to know, his voice intent as he continued to stare at her.

"Here, in town," she told him simply, the lie tripping off her tongue.

"When?" Sam Wilson asked her, jumping in on the interrogation.

Katherine thought for a moment, trying to work out her timeline in her head - the helicarriers in DC had been well over a month ago, she hadn't met Bucky at the museum until a couple of days later, then they had spent several days on the road driving up from DC, which was when they had bought the truck, and then they had been at the cabin for just over three weeks. "About … two weeks ago," she said slowly, hoping that this would fit in with whatever timeline they also had for Bucky's movements.

"Got any paperwork when you bought that truck?" Sam said, jerking his chin at the truck beside them.

She grimaced, wondering how to dodge that question. "It was ... kinda a cash deal, perhaps not _strictly_ legal," she said slowly, pulling a slight face as she half raised one shoulder at Steve. Hoping she could pay the starstruck card once more, she purposefully bit her lip as she looked up at him. "I know you're an Avenger, but I hope I'm not going to be in trouble for that, Captain," she said, allowing the smallest hint of flirtation to enter her voice.

His mouth twitched once more. "Honestly, I could not care less," he told her while Sam snorted in amusement, shaking his head slightly. "I just hope you're insured, for your sake."

She couldn't help a genuine smile at his boy-scout like tendencies. "My travel insurance insures me for anything I drive over here," she said, then put her hands in her pockets. "Anyway, I'm sorry I can't be of more help," she added, hoping to bring this whole awkward, lie-filled conversation to a close.

The two men glanced at each other - evidently she wasn't giving them as much information as they'd hoped, but they still didn't seem suspicious of her. "Is there anything else you can tell us?" Steve asked her, a faint, entreating note in his voice.

Katherine shrugged, feeling more than a little sorry for him and desperately hoping that she was doing the right thing in lying to throw them off the scent. "The truck he had just bought was white. Like I said, I paid cash," she told them, raising a hand to awkwardly rub the back of her head as she grimaced at them, feeling guilty for the lies. "He didn't seem that interested in hanging around and making conversation."

"Did he say where he was going?" Steve pressed, still staring at her intently.

She shrugged once again. "North, I guess," she replied, thinking of the large, four-wheeled trucks that she had seen heading north through the town. "The truck he had was for the ice roads."

Steve looked undeniably disappointed - she couldn't blame him, if he believed what she was saying then he would be chasing imaginary leads in the arctic circle. "Thank you, ma'am," he said politely, though there was a heaviness to his voice.

"Out of curiosity, what brings a Brit to the back-ass waters of Canada?" Sam Wilson asked her, his hands also jammed in his jacket pockets for warmth.

"Working holiday," she replied, giving them a small smile. "I'm taking a sabbatical from work and my Phd to write a computer code to prevent hacks. Currently holed up in one one the cabins, plugging away while enjoying the scenery," she said honestly, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet. "Saw a gorgeous Northern Lights display the other week. And a moose," she said, well aware that she was babbling.

Sam nodded slowly. "Travelling alone?" he wanted to know.

"Yeah," she replied, holding his gaze and purposefully not looking down at the bags at her feet, hoping that the men's shirt she had seen in the store and bought for Bucky was not visible.

Steve gave a small, faint sigh and dug around in his jeans pocket for a second. "Anything you think of that you can tell us about that guy, give me a call," he told her, handing her a small white card.

Katherine stared at it, noting it's simplicity; the name Steve Rogers and a line of digits beneath printed in a plain, navy blue font. "Is Captain America seriously giving me his phone number?" she asked, looking at him in bewilderment.

Steve managed a small smile, though he seemed undeniably downcast. "Business purposes, ma'am," he told her. "I understand that you can't tell us much, but you're the best lead we've had in weeks. If you think of anything, even the smallest thing, please don't hesitate to call."

She mock saluted him with the card and gave them a smile, waiting for them to leave - they, however, seemed to be waiting for her to get in the truck and drive away, which was problematic since Bucky had the keys.

"Not getting in?" Sam asked after a moment, raising an eyebrow.

"No, just leaving these in the back," she said, moving passed them to put the shopping bags in the back of the truck, smiling slightly when Steve automatically moved to help her. She covered them up with the tarp that covered the bay of the truck and shot another smile their way. "Was gonna head on to some other shops as well, gotta head to the hardware store," she said, knowing that was where Bucky was getting the supplies he needed for the repairs he wanted to make.

"Right," Sam said, nodding at her - though she couldn't shake the feeling that he was slightly suspicious of her.

"Well ... nice meeting you," she said brightly, extending her hand.

Sam shook it silently, still looking at her carefully, meanwhile Steve nodded and said, 'Ma'am," once more as his strong hand gripped hers, his strength, old fashioned manners and Brooklyn accent reminding her eerily of Bucky.

With one last smile, she turned and started walking back across the car park, aware of both men watching her as she did so. She took care to walk at her normal pace, not wanting to appear like she was rushing away from them. "Another dead end," she heard Steve Rogers say heavily, no doubt thinking of having to follow cold, false leads in the arctic circle.

"Looks that way," Sam replied, though the rest of their conversation was lost as she went out of earshot.

It was only once she had rounded the corner of the store that she risked a glance over her shoulder, expelling a shaky breath. She had to get to Bucky, had to find him and let him know what had just happened.

She power walked down the road to the hardware store, moving as fast as she could without actually jogging and trying not to look suspicious. She didn't know where any of the cameras were in the hardware store, unlike Bucky having drilled her on the location of the ones in the outlet store she had been in, and so she kept her head down, her cap pulled down low.

Once she entered the store she slipped between the aisles, looking for him and eventually spotting him towards the back. "Bucky!" she hissed, jogging up to him.

He immediately sensed that something was wrong - he grasped her upper arms and his gaze swept first over her for injury, then over her shoulder to see if he could spot what had her spooked. "What's wrong?" he demanded as he returned his gaze to her face, still holding her by the arms.

"Steve Rogers is here," she said simply, watching as his lips parted in abject shock. "I just met him. He was waiting by the truck, asking if it was mine."

Bucky took several breaths, staring into her eyes, then he moved; he used one hand wrapped around her upper arm to propel her up the aisle towards the back of the store where they were less likely to be seen, his gaze questing about for anyone that might be watching them from beneath the brim of the cap he wore. "What did you tell him?" he asked her once they were further out of sight, hidden by a large cardboard sign detailing a sale that was happening on kitchen sinks.

"That I bought it off a guy matching your description two weeks ago," she replied, hoping that she had done the right thing in trying to throw them off the scent.

He nodded, clearly thinking hard; he was still holding her arm, his eyes darting about, alert for any threats. "I think he bought it," Katherine told him before digging around in her jacket pocket for the card that Steve had given her so that she could hand it to him. "He gave me this, said to call him if I remembered anything."

Bucky took the card in his gloved metal hand, staring intently at the name and digits printed on it for several long seconds. Eventually he clenched his fist around it, crumpling it. "If Steve can find us then Hydra can too," he said grimly, meeting her eyes.

Katherine briefly bit her lip, gazing up at him. "Does that mean we need to leave?" she wanted to know, saddened by the idea of leaving the cabin but assuming that it was inevitable.

Bucky still seemed to be deep in thought, his mind clearly racing if the deep furrows in his brow were any indication. Eventually he exhaled an explosive breath and dug around in his jeans pocket. "Take the keys," he said, dropping the truck keys into the palm of her hand. "They may be watching you so buy something on your way out so that it looks like you came in here for a reason. Then drive straight back to the cabin," he ordered her, clearly formulating a plan. "I'll meet you there."

She felt a flash of fear, wondering if he actually did intend to meet her or if he intended to go off on his own. "Do you promise?" she asked quietly, hating how vulnerable she sounded even to her own ears.

He looked slightly surprised at the question, then reached out to cup her cheeks with both gloved hands. He drew their faces closer together as he stared down into her eyes. "I promise, doll," he said, the Brooklyn drawl evident in his voice as he used his thumbs to tilt her face up as if to emphasise his point. "Remember, you're _mine_ , Katya," he reminded her intently, so close that she could feel his breath on her lips.

He waited for her to nod her understanding before he pressed his lips briefly to the centre of her forehead, released her face and gave her a slight push to get her moving. "Now go," he commanded, waiting for her to leave.

"Right," she said shakily, turning to head back down the aisle, feeling slightly breathless after what had just happened.

"Katya," he called after her, his voice low; she turned back to look at him. "Try not to look suspicious," he reminded her, his whole demeanor tense.

She nodded in response and turned to keep on walking, already wondering what she could buy that wouldn't look suspicious - it couldn't just be anything, it had to be something that a young woman travelling alone and staying in a cabin might need.

Several minutes later she was exiting the hardware store with a small, portable outdoor lantern, some fire lighters and a box of matches. Still trying her hardest to walk at her normal pace, she headed back to the truck, breathing a quiet sigh of relief when she saw no sign of Steve Rogers or Sam Wilson, though that didn't mean they weren't watching.

She put her purchases in the back, covering them with the tarp, and got in the front seat, cursing softly under her breath when she realised she would have to adjust the mirrors and seat since she could barely even reach the pedals - something that would look suspicious to anyone watching. She made the adjustments quickly, still quietly cursing Bucky and his long legs, before turning the radio up higher and winding the windows down.

She pulled smoothly away from the car park and headed out onto the road - only to flinch slightly when she saw a dark SUV parked outside the town's only used car dealership, with Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson stood outside talking to the obviously bewildered looking owner - they must be trying to chase up the lead on the ice truck that she had told them Bucky had bought before selling her this one.

They glanced up at her as she drove passed, no doubt hearing Guns'n'Roses blaring from her radio; she smiled and waved at them as she drove by, only to immediately look in the rear-view mirror to make sure they weren't jumping in their car to chase after her.

They didn't seem inclined to do so and before long they were out of sight, though that didn't stop Katherine looking in the mirror every few seconds to make sure she wasn't being followed.

As she drove she wondered what was going to happen to them, where they might go now since it was unlikely that they would be staying in the cabin that had somehow become home. Bucky had once mentioned Alaska, then on to Russia; he'd taught her a handful of Russian phrases, per their agreement, but she still found the idea of being on the run in a country where she only spoke a miniscule amount of the language daunting to say the least.

She arrived back at the cabin and bought her purchases inside, automatically putting the food away. She then paused and looked around the cabin, noting both the destruction from Bucky's rages last night and all the small, homey touches that had made it theirs, like the stack of cards on the coffee table, the two mugs drying beside the sink, her laptop plugged in charging and his notebook on the kitchen counter.

Exhaling a deep sigh, she walked through to the bedroom, crawled under the bed to find the two Hydra bags that Bucky had stored there and started to pack their things.

She packed their clothing into the two bags, taking care to put some of each of their belongings into each bag in case for some reason they couldn't take both of them if they had to leave quickly, then went around the cabin retrieving the money that she had stored in different locations. She also found a few of the weapons that Bucky had hid around the place, which she laid out beside the bags on the table, but knew she hadn't got all of them.

Their belongings were almost completely packed and night had fallen by the time Bucky finally arrived back at the cabin. She had been sat on the sofa, bouncing her knees agitatedly while she waited, only to jump when the cabin door opened and he walked inside accompanied by a blast of freezing air. "Oh thank God," she said quietly, getting to her feet and automatically crossing the room to hug him tightly, uncaring of how cold he was.

Bucky briefly wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her back, then pulled away to hand her a box - she looked down at it, surprised to find herself holding a new, cheap mobile phone. "Call him," he said simply, also handing her the crumpled card Steve had given her earlier, which had been smoothed out.

"W-what did you say?" she asked, absolutely stunned.

"I said call him, tell him where we are" he repeated in a blank, monotone voice, moving past her into the cabin and looking around, clearly noting the bags and weapons on the table. "You packed?" he added, looking at her.

"Uh, yeah," she said absently from where she stood by the door, still absolutely floored by what he apparently wanted her to do. "I couldn't find all of the weapons though," she added in a slightly dazed voice - Bucky snorted slightly and started to move around the cabin, systematically removing guns and knives from their hiding places.

Katherine watched as he laid the guns out on the table, checking each of them before packing them. She slowly approached him, the boxed phone in one hand, Steve Rogers' card in the other. "Are you sure about this?" she wanted to know - she'd assumed that they would move on, find somewhere else to hunker down and lay low, not that he would turn himself over to the Avengers.

Bucky rested both fists on the table, bracing his weight on them with a heavy sigh as he looked down at the guns. "If Steve can find us then Hydra can too, and we're damned lucky that he got here first," he told her plainly, speaking down to the table. He turned to look at her, his eyes light and clear. "I _know_ that I know him, I _know_ that he was a friend," he said simply. "I told you, my mission is to find out who I was and to keep you safe from Hydra … and I'm thinking that Steve Rogers can probably help with both of those things."

Feeling slightly overwhelmed, Katherine pressed her lips together as she blinked fiercely against the tears that were welling in her eyes, knowing that just a few weeks ago he had been adamantly against contacting Steve despite her suggesting it - she couldn't believe how much he had opened up compared to the silent, sullen, distrusting and watchful man she had first met. "Okay," she said softly, briefly reaching out to squeeze his hand before moving over to the sofa to sit down.

She spent the next few minutes setting up the cheap phone that he had bought, plugging it in to charge, relieved to find that they had a few bars of signal in the cabin. Once she was ready she looked down at the crumpled card, staring at the number. She raised her eyes to Bucky, her thumb poised to key in the number. "Do you want to speak to him?" she asked quietly.

He pressed his lips together into a thin line and shook his head firmly. "Just … just tell him to come, I'll be outside," he said brusquely, and with that he left the cabin, clearly not wanting to be in the room while she called him.

Katherine took a deep breath and exhaled it out, then keyed in the number. She held the phone up to her ear, listening to it ring and feeling her heart racing a mile a minute.

The phone rang once … twice … three times, then he answered it. "Hello?" she heard Steve's voice from the other end of the line.

"Umm, hi, Captain Rogers?" she said, wondering what on earth she was going to say to him.

"Who is this?" he wanted to know, a note of suspicion in his voice.

"My name is Katherine Summers, you gave me your card earlier this morning," she told him, staring at the wall of the cabin and nervously twisting the charging cable between her fingers. "You told me to call if I had anything else to tell you."

"I did," Steve said, sounding much more animated and hopeful than he had a moment ago, almost eager. "You've remembered something?"

"Not exactly," she hedged, then took a deep breath and plunged in. "I wasn't entirely truthful with you earlier," she told him simply. "I'm not travelling alone, I'm with him ... Sergeant Barnes, Bucky," she added, aware that she was rambling slightly and this wasn't coming out right at all.

There was a long pause. "Is this some kind of trick?" Steve wanted to know, his voice carefully neutral.

Katherine automatically shook her head, despite knowing that he couldn't see her. "No tricks," she assured him honestly. "I lied earlier because I thought he didn't want to be found, but I gave him your card and he said to call you."

Another pause. " … Can I speak to him?" he asked, still not sounding entirely convinced.

She looked at the door, which Bucky had vanished through a few minutes previously. "He's just left the cabin," she said, then exhaled a breath. "In all honesty I think if he was in the room while I was doing this he might change his mind half way through."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Steve demanded, sounding like he wanted to believe her but knew better than to just take her words at face value.

Katherine thought for a moment, taking several deep breaths. "He doesn't have many memories of … of before, but he's told me one or two," she said quietly, hoping that this would be enough to convince him. "He said you and the Howling Commandos were once playing poker with bullet shells. He said you had a terrible poker face and that he lost the first bar of chocolate he'd seen in months to a bad hand."

She heard the unmistakable _puh_ of a breath that was being held being let out. "Where are you?" Steve asked, a note of urgency in his voice. Katherine rattled off directions to the cabin, knowing that this was the point of no return. "We're on our way," he said, and she could hear the sound of a car door opening and an engine starting on the other end of the phone.

"Wait!" Katherine said suddenly, a terrible thought entering her mind; Bucky had been an assassin, had done terrible things whilst under Hydra's influence, they might want to imprison him or worse. "You're - you're not going to hurt him, are you?"

There was a pause, and then when Steve spoke his voice sounded sad and genuine. "I just want to help," he told her simply, in a voice that sounded honest before he hung up the phone.

Katherine put the phone down on the table and scrubbed her hands over her face as she thought about the curve balls that had been thrown their way over the past few days. It had been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least, and now they were heading into the unknown once more.

She got to her feet and slowly made her way outside, her boots crunching in the snow. She found Bucky round the back of the cabin once more, chopping the same pile of wood that he hadn't finished yesterday, having been interrupted by the files decrypting - his movements were tense and jerky and she had the distinct impression that he was chopping the wood simply for something to do.

" Not much point in chopping that now," Katherine told him, wrapping her arms around herself for warmth, having come out without her jacket.

"True," Bucky replied, bringing the axe down so that it's point was embedded on the large, flat tree truck he had been using as a base to cut on. He looked up at her, his expression oddly vulnerable. "It's done?"

"It's done," she confirmed, stepping closer to him. "They'll probably be here soon."

Bucky made a faint humming noise and drew her into his arms; she laid her head on his chest, his chin resting on the top of his head as they both looked out at the cabin and the lake, framed by the snow-covered, alpine forest and mountains. "I'm going to miss this place," she admitted as his hands moved soothingly up and down her back.

"Me too," he replied quietly, and they stayed like that for several long minutes before heading back inside to prepare for the arrival of their visitors.

* * *

 **So yeah, that happened.**

 **This marks the end of the section of story that I had entirely planned out before starting, with parts of it written and just needing to be edited before posting. I'm now going to be writing as I go along, so there may be weeks where updates are slightly more sporadic, just as a heads up. I do have ideas of how I'll be tying Ultron, Civil War and Infinity War into this story, but am always happy to hear your own thoughts / ideas / suggestions of where the plot should go.**

 **Thanks for all your lovely reviews - this really started as a project to get back into writing again after not really having written anything for over 2 years, so receiving your feedback makes me very happy indeed!**

 **Next up, Avengers Tower …**

 **Hope you're all enjoying the sunny weather. Leave a review, my darlings!**


	14. Avengers Tower

Steve Rogers bought the SUV he was driving to a stop, leaning over the steering wheel slightly to get a better look at the cabin they had just pulled up at. It was small and rustic, lights on behind the curtained windows; the terrain was different, but the cabin itself reminded him of the small retreat SHIELD had sent him to when he had first defrosted from the ice. The cabin was nestled between a frozen white lake and an alpine forest with the mountains in the background. Night had fallen (though, being winter, it was still only late afternoon) and the snow was luminous in the moonlight.

He got out of the car, noting the same truck that they had seen in town earlier parked in front of the cabin and a mess of footprints in the snow - even from a distance he could see that the prints were different sizes, indicating that there were at least two people here. He closed the car door with a quiet snick and came to join Sam at the front of the car. The two men looked at each other, then Steve straightened his shoulders. "Here goes," he said under his breath, and started to walk towards the cabin.

He had only made it a few steps when the front door opened and he froze. The same young woman he had spoken to earlier that morning came out, still wearing the same clothes though she was no longer wearing her coat or the faintly ridiculous, maple leaf cap that she'd had on in town. She stepped onto the small awning that wrapped its way around the front of the cabin, her boots crunching in the snow, and rested her fingertips on the low, wooden railing, leaving the door partially open behind her.

"Hi," she said quietly, giving them both a small, half smile.

"Hello again," he replied cautiously - this was the moment that they would find out whether or not this was all some trick. The snippet of information about memories of gambling with bullet for chips that she had provided to get them here (and Bucky had grumbled for _days_ after losing that chocolate bar to Dum Dum) could have been acquired by other means. This whole thing could be a trap.

"He's inside," the woman, Katherine Summers, said softly, simply, and she tilted her head towards the door of the cabin.

Steve nodded once and took two determined steps towards the cabin, only to freeze again as the door opened once more.

Bucky stepped out behind her with a gun held lowered by his side and Steve's lips parted in shock as their gazes locked.

He looked nothing like the Winter Soldier that he'd fought several weeks ago - looked nothing like he'd ever seen him, in all honesty. He was wearing jeans with a black t-shirt that had an open, flannel shirt over the top and gloves, looking like a Canadian lumberjack, not an assassin or a Sergeant. His hair was long and the stubble that had coated his jaw when he'd last seen him had grown to the start of a full beard.

He looked scruffy, tired and haunted - aside from the gun that was held almost loosely in what Steve knew to be his metal hand, he looked nothing at all like the lethal Winter Soldier he'd met or the smooth, charming friend he remembered.

But it was still unmistakably him - his friend, Bucky Barnes.

Bucky had his jaw visibly clenched as he came outside, holding Steve's stare almost defiantly. He stood diagonally right behind the woman, who looked briefly over her shoulder at him, and Steve's quick eyes noticed that he seemed to have his hand on her lower back.

Steve swallowed, feeling all of the turbulent emotions that had swarmed him since the moment he'd pulled off the Winter Soldier's mask choking in his throat. "Bucky," he said, his voice coming out as a faint croak; his old friend narrowed his eyes slightly at the name, his eyes a peculiar mixture of defiance, resignation and fear.

But anything was better than the cold, emotionless look that the soldier had given him when they'd fought.

"Do you know me?" Steve asked, a quiet note of desperation in his voice - the last time he'd seen him Bucky had been slamming his metal fist into his face over and over, about to kill him on the burning helicarrier.

There was a pause for several heartbeats, then Bucky lifted his chin. "You're Steve," he said plainly, those simple words like a fist that had taken his heart and _squeezed_ \- his friend remembered him, after everything they'd done, he _remembered_ him.

Steve took several deep breaths as he stared at his friend, wondering what to say. "You asked me to come," he said eventually; he hadn't expected this, hadn't had time to plan what he was going to say or do. In all honesty, he'd expected that when he finally tracked his friend down it would come to a fight, that he would have to bring him in by force to help him. He didn't quite know what to do now that he had come to them instead.

"I'm not saying I trust you," Bucky said from where he stood, his words hot and caustic, fairly ringing with distrust that was utterly alien to him as his hand visibly tightened on the gun he held. He was hanging back as well, seeming undeniably tense and making no move to approach. "But I want to know who I am and I think you have answers."

Steve nodded - the lack of trust stung, but he couldn't say he blamed his friend after everything he'd been through.

Hell, it wasn't like he'd given him much reason to trust him since they'd met again, what with the fight on the bridge and then on the helicarrier, when he'd had to put the safety of millions of people above his desire not to fight his friend.

"Any funny business, we leave," Bucky added sternly, laying out what seemed to be ground rules for him coming with them.

"We?" Sam said pointedly from behind him, speaking for the first time since they'd got out of the car; Steve glanced back at him and saw that his gaze was moving between Bucky and Katherine, a deep frown of disapproval on his face. He suddenly questioned the wisdom of bringing Sam with him, it wasn't like he and Bucky knew each other and had fought every time they had met so far.

" _We_ ," Bucky repeated in a dark voice, his eyes narrowing dangerously at Sam as the woman looked over her shoulder at him once more.

For the first time, Steve wondered what the nature of the relationship between them was, his gaze moving from one of them to the other. She was pretty, he noticed in an absent-minded sort of way; long dark hair, hazel eyes and pale skin. Petite, but obvious curves beneath the plain jumper she wore - quite the looker, just the kind of girl Buck had gone for back in the forties.

Sam had run a background check on Katherine Summers as they had driven to the cabin - twenty-five years old, British, travelling in America whilst taking a sabbatical from her Phd in Computer Science at Imperial University, all facts that had married up to what she had told them earlier that day.

But then there was the fact that her luggage had been left unclaimed in a hotel room in DC and none of her friends or family had filed a missing persons report despite her having been gone nearly a month.

By all indications she hadn't left DC willingly, yet she didn't seem fearful of Bucky, nor did she seem to mind how close he was stood behind her.

She had also lied to them in an attempt to keep him hidden.

Well, no doubt that mystery would be unravelled before long.

There was a brief silence, broken by Steve once more. "Are you ready to go?" he asked, finding this whole situation somewhat surreal.

Katherine nodded. "I'll get the bags," she said, but Bucky stopped her with a wordless hand on her wrist. Their eyes met and it was as if they were having a silent conversation, then Bucky slipped back into the cabin.

Katherine, meanwhile, traipsed down the single step that lead up to the porch of the cabin and approached Steve and Sam, her arms wrapped around herself for warmth - she'd come outside without a coat, though he remembered that she'd been wearing one earlier.

"We did a search on you after you told us your name," Steve told her and she looked up at him. "The last record of you was a hotel in DC ... Is that where you met?"

"Yeah," she replied, blinking at him, her arms still wrapped around herself.

"Did you leave DC willingly?" Sam wanted to know, a steely note in his voice - he was evidently not happy with the situation in which they'd found her.

Katherine grimaced. "Not exactly," she admitted, sounding hesitant.

Steve let out the breath that he'd been holding at that confession. "I have to ask -"

"He hasn't hurt me," she interrupted, narrowing her eyes slightly at them defensively. Steve's gaze moved down from her face to her neck, his eyes on the thin, pink scar there that was both clearly recent, only a few weeks old, and caused by a knife. She no doubt sensed his eyes on the scar and her hand fluttered up to touch it. "Not on purpose," she added, her voice intense and fierce. "He's a good man."

"I know," Steve replied softly - a good man who had become lost, perhaps.

Bucky returned wearing a jacket and cap pulled low over his eyes, the gun holstered at his belt. He held two black duffle bags that looked like they had been stuffed to the brim, a somewhat feminine messenger bag looped over one shoulder and a coat over one arm. Wordlessly, he packed the bags into the back of the SUV Steve and Sam had driven here and then approached Katherine. He held the coat out behind her and she slipped her arms in it easily and naturally - Steve blinked, it was a movement he had seen from Bucky hundreds of time in the past, helping a dame with her coat when he took them out on a date.

It reassured him that his friend was certainly not gone, no matter how changed he was.

The four of them got in the SUV, with Sam driving, leaving the cabin and truck in the dark behind them. Steve was sat in the front and Bucky and Katherine in the back. Sam shot a look at Bucky in the rearview mirror. "If you could refrain from tearing the steering wheel out of this one, I'd appreciate it," he said with a faint bite of reproach in his voice.

"Sam," Steve chided him, knowing that kind of comment wasn't helpful.

Katherine, however, turned to look at Bucky. "You tore a steering wheel out of his car?" she asked incredulously, her surprise evident; Bucky simply shrugged moodily in response, his tension evident and his gaze fixed back on the cabin as they drove away.

There was another brief silence, this one broken by Katherine. "Where are we going?" she wanted to know, leaning forward slightly to talk to Steve.

"Avengers Tower, New York city," he replied, noting how her eyes widened in almost comical amazement at the prospect. It would be the best place for them - Tony had given him a whole floor there, it would be safe and secure with access to whatever doctors or help Bucky needed. "Stark knows we're coming."

"Tony Stark?" she checked, a sudden note of worry evident in her tone.

"Yeah," Steve said, wondering what the problem was.

He watched as she and Bucky shared another long look, another seemingly wordless conversation - Katherine then scooted further forward in her seat, a look of deep hesitation and worry on her face, meanwhile Bucky turned his blank gaze out of the car window, his gloved fists clenched tightly as he stated out at the dark forest they were driving through to get back to the main road. "There may be a, um ... small problem there," she said quietly, leaning one arm against his headrest as she spoke to him. "I … I don't know how much you know about his past missions, but one of them -"

 _One of them was assassinating Howard Stark, their old friend,_ he thought suddenly, closing his eyes and exhaling a breath as he remembered how Zola had revealed that information, cursing in his head for not having thought of it himself.

"Tony doesn't need to know," Steve said firmly after a moment, knowing full well how Tony would react if he knew.

Katherine hesitated, then sat back in her seat. He watched with curious fascination as she gently covered Bucky's clenched fist with her hand; there was a pause, then his hand relaxed and she entwined their fingers on the middle seat between them. There was another long silence, broken by her once more. "Are we driving to New York?" she asked quietly.

"No, the quinjet is parked a few miles away from town," Steve told her, and a tense silence reigned in the car once more.

Thankfully, it was a short drive to the small clearing where they had parked the quinjet. The ramp was already down and so Sam drove the SUV straight into the small bay, bringing it to a halt, the ramp automatically closing behind them.

They got out of the car and he and Sam headed straight towards the cockpit to fire up the engines - Steve was flying, he'd made a point of learning to pilot the jets since the Chitauri invasion. Katherine and Bucky, meanwhile, had sat down on the jump seats closest to the doors; Bucky was rubbing his forehead with one hand, as if it was paining him, meanwhile Katherine had her head resting on his shoulder.

"You seeing this?" Sam asked him in a low voice from his position in the co-pilot's seat, facing forwards as he flicked the necessary switches above his head.

"Yeah," Steve replied, glancing over his shoulder to note that their hands were still entwined as he punched in the coordinates for Avengers Tower.

Sam shook his head, his jaw clenched hard. "I don't like it, Cap," he said firmly as the engines fired up and he initiated vertical take off. "She said herself that she wasn't with him willingly."

Steve clenched his hand tightly on the controls as he started the thrusters, pointing them towards New York and jetting them forwards at full speed. "I know," he said grimly as they shot through the sky.

* * *

Katherine was torn between feeling completely starstruck at the prospect of being in Avengers Tower as they landed on the helipad on the roof and worrying about Bucky, who had been near silent since leaving the cabin, his face becoming more and more expressionless the closer they got to New York. His whole body was snapped taunt like a bowstring, fairly vibrating with tension. His brow was deeply furrowed and he kept rubbing his forehead, like it was paining him. Keeping her hand in his, she leaned passed him to look out of the window of the plane, watching as they smoothly touched down on the roof, the vast lights of the New York skyline lighting up the night before them.

Steve and Sam unbuckled their belts from where they sat in the cockpit and she took that as a cue to move as well, with Bucky following. Bucky grabbed both of their bags, having to release her hand which he had held tightly since leaving Canada to do so. He lifted them with ease and allowed her to loop her messenger bag over her shoulder. Katherine gently touched his arm as they left followed Steve and Sam out of the quinjet, silently letting him know that she was there.

They headed to an elevator to the side of the helipad and a smooth, male voice greeted them. " _Welcome back, Captain Rogers_ ," the disembodied voice said in a distinctly British accent. Katherine looked up at the ceiling in curiosity, assuming it was some kind of automated system that had used facial recognition to recognise Steve. " _Would you like to return to your floor_?"

"Yes, thank you," Steve replied, and the lift moved smoothly down.

After several long, silent seconds the doors opened onto a large, open planned apartment with panoramic windows that looked out over the bright lights of the city, clearly still very high up the tower. It was sleek, modern and elegant, yet seemed to lack personality; Katherine got the impression that Steve didn't live here full time, or rather if he did he had yet to put his own stamp on it. "This is my floor, Tony has given each of the Avengers a whole floor of the tower," Steve said simply, sounding ever so slightly self conscious at this fact. "I'll, uh, show you to your rooms."

They followed him down the corridor and he paused, opening a door and pushing it open. "Bucky, I thought this could be your room," he said in a voice that seemed deceptively neutral, gesturing inside to the large, double room. "Miss Summers, if you follow me you can take your pick from one of the other -"

"No," Bucky interrupted, frowning deeply at his friend; his posture was rigid and unyielding, every line of his body held taunt. "We'll stay together," he said firmly, in a tone that brooked no argument.

There was a long moment, during which Steve and Sam looked first at each other, then at her; she gave them a slight shrug and a smile, indicating that she had no problem with this.

"I'm not sure that's the best idea …" Steve said slowly, looking warily at Bucky.

"She stays with me, or we leave," Bucky replied simply, a stern, downright dangerous note in his voice.

Steve hesitated, still looking between them, then carefully nodded. "Alright ..." he agreed, still sounding like he was not sure about this.

" _Cap_ ," Sam said sharply, his face set into a scowl of disapproval.

Steve shot a look at Sam, indicating that he should stay quiet, and gestured towards the open door. "I guess you can share this one then … for now," he added pointedly, something which neither she nor Bucky missed. "We'll, uh … leave you to get settled in. Come and find me when you're ready," he told them and, with a smile on her part and a deep frown on Bucky's, they slipped into the bedroom.

The room was like a small apartment all on it's own, dominated by a huge double bed with fine, expensive looking sheets. There was also a small seating area in front of the huge windows that looked out onto the vast city and a large bathroom.

Bucky immediately sat down on the edge of the bed once the door closed behind them. He put his head in his hands and let out a long, deep, shuddering breath. His whole body was shaking violently, like he had been holding tension for hours that he had only just released.

Katherine immediately knelt down on the floor in front of him, her hands resting on his knees. "Bucky?" she said quietly, worried for him.

"Hurts," he grunted in a pained voice, his head still in his hands.

"Your head?" she asked, watching as he nodded and winced slightly at the movement. "Are you getting memories?"

He shook his head, surprising her slightly since she had assumed that was the problem. "Not memories exactly, but being around him _hurts_ ," he said, hissing in pain. "It's like … the memories are there, trying to get out, but they're _blocked_." He raised his head slightly, tilting it back and pressing the heel of his gloved flesh hand hard into the centre of his forehead, his eyes squeezed closed and his breathing laboured. "It's a battering ram in my skull."

"Lie down," she ordered him quietly, worried for him. Obediently, he lay back on the bed with a sigh, settling on his back. Getting up from the floor, she too climbed on the bed. His eyes opened as he felt the bed dip, watching her as she kneeled beside him. "Close your eyes," she added softly, gently reaching out to touch his eyelids as he did so, letting her fingers trail lightly down his bearded cheek - she knew that it was a mark of how much he trusted her that he was willing to close his eyes and let her touch him.

She took his metal hand in hers and slowly pulled off his glove, one finger at a time. Once his metal hand was exposed, she lifted it and placed it so that the back of his hand was resting on his forehead, hoping that the cool metal of his hand might soothe his aching head. He let out a faint sigh, but did not move his hand from where she had placed it or open his eyes.

She took his other hand, repeating the process of pulling off his glove until she had his flesh hand in both of hers. She tilted it so that his palm was facing upwards and slowly drew circles on his palm, something that her grandmother had used to do to her when she was little. "We're safe here," she whispered as she continued to draw circles. "We're safe. No one is going to force you to do anything," she reminded him gently and he hummed slightly in response.

His breathing was still laboured, his breaths coming too quickly, and he was clearly still in pain. "Take a deep breath in for me, Bucky," she asked of him as she slowly started to draw the circles inwards to make a spiral on his palm.

He inhaled deeply, his chest rising, his eyes still closed. "And out," she whispered when he held the breath, watching as his lips parted and he exhaled the breath. "Another one," she asked, watching him take another deep breath in as she drew smaller and smaller circles. "Breathe ... Breathe through the pain," she said quietly, watching for several long minutes as he breathed deeply, seeming to relax slightly more with each exhale.

"Katya …" he murmured as she she drew the spiral in to it's tightest point.

She laced her fingers securely with his. "I'm here, I've got you," she whispered and he slowly opened his eyes to look at her, his blue-grey eyes slightly hazy. "Better?" she asked quietly.

"Some," he replied rustily, his metal hand still on his forehead.

"I'm going to go have a word with Steve, I'll be back soon," she told him gently, raising their joined hands to press a kiss to his knuckles before releasing his hand, letting it rest on his abdomen. "Rest," she added, waiting for him to close his eyes once more before she got off the bed and headed from the room, closing the door softly behind her.

She padded down the corridor, glancing both directions before cautiously making her way towards where Steve had pointed out the kitchen to be. She found him and Sam arguing in low voices in the large, open planned kitchen that led on to a huge living room.

"I'm telling you, Steve, _I don't like it_ ," Sam said intently, pointing his finger into his face. "I know he is your friend, but she is a _kidnap victim_ and if they have some kind of relationship going on then her consent is _dubious_ at best."

"I don't like it either, but -" Steve replied heavily, only to cut himself off as he noticed her standing in the doorway. He immediately straightened up. "Ma'am," he said, nodding crisply at her.

Katherine pressed her lips together and paused for a moment before walking into the room. "I won't pretend I didn't hear your conversation as I came in just now," she said slowly, looking from one man to the other. "Allow me to put you at ease ... While Bucky did technically kidnap me from the museum, he gave me a chance to leave, even put the car keys in my hand and walked away, but I _chose_ to stay because I could see that he needed help," she said intently, wanting them to understand. "I wasn't staying with him in that cabin unwillingly."

Sam took in a deep breath, not even looking slightly convinced. "Be that as it may, Miss -"

"Also we aren't having sex with each other," she said bluntly, interrupting.

Sam's mouth snapped closed and she was surprised to see Steve blink, an obvious blush creeping up his cheeks.

"That's what you're worried about isn't it?" she continued, still looking between them and noting how Sam had folded his arms over his chest as he listened to her. "You were talking about dubious consent."

"Then why …?" Steve gestured vaguely in the direction of the room they were sharing, looking more than a little uncomfortable with the conversation.

"Two reasons, one of them I am pretty certain about, the other is just a hunch," she explained. "Firstly, he has nightmares ... bad ones." She grimaced at them. "Like, screaming in pain and shouting in Russian nightmares," she clarified, then half raised one shoulder. "Being near me seems to help him."

Steve looked less than pleased to hear that. "He could hurt you if he's having nightmares," he pointed out unhappily.

Katherine forced herself not to touch the fading scar on her throat. "He's only hurt me once so far, and that was when I stupidly tried to shake him while shouting to wake up, so that's a chance I'm willing to take," she said firmly, not willing to bend on this.

Steve took a deep breath, glancing at Sam. "And the second reason, the hunch?" he wanted to know.

"He told me he thinks better with an objective," she said simply. "His mission at the moment is to find out who he is and, after Hydra got a look at my face, keep me safe." She shrugged slightly once more, still rather bemused by this logic of his herself. "To put it bluntly, he doesn't trust you yet, so having me there with him helps reassure him that I'm safe."

The two men looked at each other; they no longer seemed quite as upset with the situation, but nor did they look completely happy either. Katherine sighed. "Look, we could still be in that cabin while you chase imaginary leads in the arctic circle, but he _chose_ to reach out to you," she pointed out to them. "Don't fight him on this, he wasn't joking when he said we'd leave."

"And you'd go with him?" Sam said, still appearing less than impressed.

"If he wanted me to," she replied honestly, raising her chin to meet his eyes.

Steve awkwardly rubbed the back of his head with one hand. "You said that it wasn't sexual, but I feel I must ask … What is the nature of your relationship with him?"

Katherine blinked as she thought about her answer for a moment, then sighed deeply and met his eyes. "I think I'm the first person he's met who hasn't hurt him in seventy years," she said quietly, hating the way that Steve visibly flinched at her words; she had seen the footage on the news from DC, she could only imagine how horrible it had been to fight his friend. "I think that I'm the first person to make him smile, laugh even. The first person to treat him as human rather than a soldier, a weapon," she continued.

She bit her lip briefly, letting it drag through her teeth, knowing that she had to be honest with them. "I've only known him a month or so, but I've come to care about him very deeply ... And I think he feels the same about me," she told them quietly, thinking of the way Bucky had tilted her face up to his as he told her that she was _his_ and the dark, almost hungry look in his eyes when they had showered together. "I know he sees me as his to protect ... One day our relationship may well turn into something more, but that will be when we are both ready for it."

There was a long pause, then to her surprise Steve let out a slightly shaky laugh, tossing his hands in the air. "One month," he said nonsensically, raising his gaze to the ceiling and shaking his head in obvious bemusement. "He's been away from Hydra _one month_ and he's already got a girl." A small grin broke through his face as he smiled nostalgically at her. "I shouldn't be surprised, he always did have a way with the ladies."

Katherine laughed delightedly, seemingly breaking the tension in the room. "I _knew_ it," she said with mild triumph, still grinning at her theory being proved right. "He's too smooth by half and he's not even trying."

"That sounds like Bucky." Steve's smile lingered fondly at the memories as he nodded at her. "Thank you for being frank with us," he added, sounding like he genuinely appreciated it.

She looked at Sam, having got the impression that he had disapproved more than Steve. "Has that put your mind at rest?" she asked, hoping that he wouldn't continue to push this.

"Some," he said in his clipped voice, his arms still folded across his chest. "I'll be keeping an eye on him though, when I'm here."

"You're not staying?" she asked, blinking at him in surprise.

"Got my own place and a job in DC, I'll be up regularly though," he explained, then checked his watch. "In fact, I'm gonna have to split. It's getting late and I didn't think I'd be able to make tomorrow's meeting, but if I leave now I should be fine," he added. He held out his hand, which Steve shook firmly, then looked at Katherine. "You take care now, Miss," he said pointedly, then, with a final nod, headed back towards the elevator.

Katherine was left alone with Steve and there was a brief, marginally awkward silence between them, broken by her once more. "There's something else I wanted to talk to you about," she said hesitantly, thinking that this probably wasn't going to be the most enjoyable conversation.

Steve looked at her, then waved her properly towards one of the stools at the breakfast bar of the open plan kitchen, since most of their conversation so far had taken place with her standing awkwardly a few steps from the doorway.

She took a seat and he leant against the counter opposite, his arms folded across his broad chest. "After you showed us to the room, Bucky had bad headaches," she told him simply, watching how his mouth turned down at that. "I think it's the memories."

"He remembers things?" Steve asked quickly, sounding torn between wanting his friend to regain his memories and worry that it was causing headaches.

Katherine bit her lip. "Not exactly …" she said, by no means understanding it herself. "I'm no psychologist or neuroscientist or whatever, but I think those memories are _blocked_ by whatever Hydra did to him. They're still there, but he can't access them," she explained, and then grimaced at him. "He said that being around you _hurts_ , like a battering ram in his skull. I think it's overstimulation, or something. You're triggering all these memories that he _physically_ can't access."

Steve looked stricken by this. "I know a doctor -"

"I don't think that's what he needs - well, he probably does, but not yet anyway," she interrupted, doubting that Bucky would trust any doctor that tried to go near his head or get him to talk about his problems. "I just wanted to say … be careful not to overwhelm him," she continued, aware that her words were probably hurting Steve. "I know it doesn't sound nice, but your presence physically hurt him."

Steve looked troubled in the extreme as he shook his head slightly. "In all honesty, I hadn't thought this far ahead to what I'd do once I found him," he confessed heavily, seemingly deep in thought. "I thought it would come down to a fight again, that I'd have to bring him in by force. Now that he's here willingly … how do I help him?"

Katherine thought for a moment, on equally unsure footing - hell, part of her still couldn't believe that they were there at all, that Bucky had reached out to his old friend rather than spiriting them away to some secluded part of Alaska or Russia. "He _wants_ to be here, so let him come to you, don't push," she suggested gently, knowing that Steve probably wanted his friend back but that Bucky was by no means the same. "I think that regaining his memories is going to be a trickle rather than a flood."

Steve thought for a moment, then sighed and nodded at her. He walked over to the huge fridge and pulled it open; wordlessly, he offered her a glass bottle of coke, which she took with a smile, getting one for himself as well. He sat down heavily at the breakfast bar opposite her. "So you've made it clear that you intend to stay - which is fine - but did you want to contact your family or friends at all?" he asked with the air of one changing the subject.

"Uh, yeah, my phone is toast though," she said, remembering how Bucky had crushed it in his metal hand a few hours after they'd met. "I was using a cheap disposable one that Bucky bought to call you."

"Right," he said, then raised his gaze to the ceiling. "Jarvis, can you see about getting Miss Summers a new phone?" he asked to the thin air, making Katherine briefly frown at him in confusion.

Her confusion heightened when the same clipped, British voice from the elevator answered him. " _Right away, sir,"_ it said smoothly, making her jump.

"Jeez, that scared the life out of me," she said, laughing slightly with her hand pressed over her chest. "What - or _who -_ is that?"

" _I am Jarvis, Mr Stark's AI_ ," the voice said politely, introducing himself. " _I run this tower_."

"Well, it's - uh - nice to meet you," she said, smiling vaguely up at the ceiling and trying not to be disturbed by the idea of an AI running the building.

"He's sort of like an invisible butler, you get used to him," Steve said, no doubt reading her bemusement.

" _I assure you, Captain Rogers, my abilities are far more advanced than simply running a domestic household_ ," Jarvis chided him, the AI apparently having something of a personality as well. " _Miss Summers, a phone has been acquired for you from Stark Industries downstairs and will be delivered by courier in the next few minutes_."

"Wow, thanks," she said, more than a little amazed by the efficiency of the AI, not to mention the prospect of apparently being given a Stark phone, which cost nearly a months rent in London. "It'd be good to get in touch with some people," she said to Steve with a smile. "We've been keeping on the down low because - _shit_!" she said, suddenly looking around her in panic.

"What?" Steve asked intently, his gaze immediately sweeping the room for a threat.

"I've just thought, are there cameras here?" she asked frantically. "Bucky said that Hydra can sweep cameras, run facial recognition -"

"Calm down," Steve said, clearly understanding the problem and raising a hand towards her. "You're right in thinking Hydra - and SHIELD, for that matter - can scan cameras, but that's only remotely accessible ones, ones that are linked to a satellite," he said. "Tony's system here … well, it all goes a little over my head in all honesty, but I do know it's secure. I think he might even have a satellite of his own or something. You're safe here," he promised her.

"Right," she said shakily, taking a sip from her bottle of coke as she calmed down and feeling ever so slightly embarrassed by her small panic there.

"So, you said in Canada that you're writing a … computer code?" Steve asked her with her with the air of changing the subject once more, evidently grasping for conversation starters and luckily hitting on one that she was more than happy to talk about.

"Yeah," she replied, and then launched into explaining what she intended to do with her code and how it was going to work. He didn't seem to be completely following her, if the frown of confusion on his face was any indication, though he listened carefully as she spent several minutes detailing how she was going to layer the code to create a trap for hackers, infecting her own data so that it couldn't survive outside of the system and crippled a hackers computer with a mutated version of their own malware once they had it.

"Now _that_ all sounds mighty interesting," a lazy, drawing voice said from the doorway, interrupting her explanation.

* * *

 **Only 7 more working days until term finishes and I'm done for the summer holiday, can't wait!**

 **Next up - a viable upgrade ...**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies!**


	15. A viable upgrade

" _So, you said in Canada that you're writing a … computer code?" Steve asked her with her with the air of changing the subject once more, evidently grasping for conversation starters and luckily hitting on one that she was more than happy to talk about._

" _Yeah," she replied, and then launched into explaining what she intended to do with her code and how it was going to work. He didn't seem to be completely following her, if the frown of confusion on his face was any indication, though he listened carefully as she explained how she was going to layer the code to create a trap for hackers, infecting her own data so that it couldn't survive outside of the system and crippled a hackers computer with a mutated version of their own malware once they had it._

" _Now_ that _all sounds mighty interesting," a lazy, drawing voice said from the doorway._

* * *

Katherine turned and her mouth immediately dropped open, gaping slightly as Tony Stark himself walked into the kitchen, helping himself to a beer from the fridge and popping the lid. He was wearing a dark, expensively cut suit with red tinted sunglasses despite being inside and there was a distinctive white glow on the centre of his chest from his world-famous arc-reactor.

Steve blinked, looking in the direction of the elevator. "Did you even _knock_?" he asked with mild exasperation and she got the impression that Tony turning up unannounced on his floor was a rather regular occurance.

"My tower, my rules," Tony shot back instantly, then held out a small, slim box to Katherine. "Here," he said casually, and she realised that it was the Stark phone that Jarvis had promised her a few minutes ago.

" _You're_ the courier?" she asked with a bewildered laugh, blinking up at him.

Tony grinned at her, leaning against the breakfast bar. "I like to just pretend that I'm in charge, really I'm just a humble delivery boy," he faux-whispered conspiratorially, then held his hand out to her. "Tony Stark," he added smoothly, introducing himself.

"Katherine Summers," she replied, shaking his hand. "And thank you," she added belatedly, gesturing to the brand new phone.

He waved away her thanks and hooked a stool with his foot in order to sit down. "Cap called me earlier to tell me you were coming, I understand that you are the Bonnie to the Clyde that he has been searching for," he said, raising a single, ironic brow at her.

"Huh," Steve said from where he sat with no small amount of surprise, tilting his head slightly "I actually understood a reference you made."

"Don't get used to it," Tony replied quickly, his retort coming at rapid-fire pace.

Katherine grinned at them - it wasn't every day that you met two Avengers after all. "Sort of," she replied, taking a sip of her coke - then gestured vaguely with her bottle as swallowed her mouthful and thought through what he'd actually said. "Minus the whole … you know, theft and killing people thing."

"On your part, at least," Tony pointed out pragmatically, then gave her a winning smile as she frowned at him for that jab against Bucky. "Mind if I take a peek at this code of yours?"

"Uh … Sure," she said slowly, unable to believe what was happening - Tony Stark, Tony _frickin_ Stark wanted to look at her code. When she'd started this project and her professor had suggested that she potentially market it she could only _dream_ of selling to a company like Stark Industries. "I'll, um, go get my laptop."

She headed back to the bedroom on shaky legs, feeling like the curve balls from the passed few days just kept on coming - was it only yesterday that she and Bucky had woken up after a lazy morning and he'd talked about going fishing before the files had decrypted and everything had changed?

Katherine tried to be as quiet as possible as she opened the door to their bedroom, but Bucky still turned to look at her as she came in; he hadn't moved and was still lying back on the bed, the back of his metal hand on his forehead.

"Hey," she said softly, padding over to him and sitting down on the edge of the bed beside him, lightly touching his shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," he replied, propping himself up on his elbows to look at her - he still looked drawn and tired, his hair hanging limply around his face, but he no longer looked quite so pained. They stared at each other for a long moment, then Bucky asked a question. "What did you want to talk to him - _Steve_ \- about?" he wanted to know, stumbling slightly over his friend's name.

"... He and Sam were just a little worried about us sharing a room," she said honestly, after just a moment's hesitation.

He frowned deeply, looking troubled. "I didn't ask you," he said in growing realisation, a deep crease appearing on his forehead. "I just assumed -"

"It's fine," she told him, lifting her hand to rest it reassuringly on his cheek. "This would have been my preference too." She smiled affectionately, her fingers lingering on his stubbly cheek - such small touches had become commonplace for them in the past weeks. "In all honesty, I've grown quite used to sleeping beside you."

Bucky covered her fingers on his cheek with his, lowering her hand so that he held it in his own in his lap; he nodded at her words, seemingly agreeing with her, his eyes fixed down on her hand within his own metal one.

"But you can see why they might be concerned," she added quietly.

He raised his gaze to her, his eyes old, tired and weary. "They thought that I had hurt you," he said solemnly; she nodded slowly in response and Bucky frowned, his metal hand tightening on her fingers ever so slightly. "Katya, I hope you know that I'd never … I wouldn't ..." he trailed off, struggling to find the words.

"I know," Katherine assured him, knowing what he was trying to say - he'd never intentionally hurt her and had always treated her with as much respect as he was able. "I feel very safe with you, I have for a while now."

Bucky's frown deepened even further at that and he opened his mouth - Katherine paused him with the tips of two fingers resting lightly on his parted lips. "I know what you're going to say," she said with a small smile, anticipating him telling her that he was not safe and that he had put her in danger. "But now's not the time to get into a discussion about that." She leaned forwards and pressed her lips lightly to his cheek before standing up and looking for her messenger bag, the movement easy and natural. "I just came in to get my laptop."

"Your laptop?" he asked, tilting his head as he watched her move around the room.

Katherine nodded, digging around in her messenger bag that she had left with the Hydra bags at the end of the bed. "Tony Stark is in the kitchen and he wants to look at my code," she told him in a slightly bewildered voice, still scarcely able to believe it herself.

"And that's … good?" Bucky checked, still scowling slightly at her from where he sat on the bed.

"God, I hope so," she said, looking up at the ceiling and desperately trying not to get her hopes up - even if he didn't like it, having someone like Tony Stark looking over her work and potentially giving feedback was an opportunity not to be ignored.

She straightened up with her laptop in her arms. "Are you coming too?" she asked Bucky; he hesitated, looking troubled, before taking a deep breath and seemingly steeling himself. Wordlessly, he pushed himself up from the bed to follow her out of the room and back to the two men who were waiting in the kitchen.

Katherine entered the kitchen first, followed by Bucky, and both Steve and Tony turned to look at them. "Ahh, and this must be Major Bennet Marco himself," Tony said with a wry, half grin, toasting him with his half-drunk beer.

Bucky scowled deeply at him, looking less than impressed. "My name is Bucky," he said simply, his voice rasping slightly.

"Huh, I see popular culture references are gonna fly straight over your head too," Tony said, then shrugged. "Must be a frozen super soldier thing. I can see why the two of you are friends," he added, gesturing between Bucky and Steve with his bottle. He then spotted the laptop that Katherine had just opened and logged in to. "Ahh, thank you," he said, lifting it from her hands without asking permission.

"It's by no means finished yet," Katherine said quickly as he set the laptop down in front of him and pulled up her coding program, typing away with lightning speed within the data stream of her code. "I still need to set the function-call to -"

Without raising his gaze from the screen, Tony held up a single finger to indicate that she should stop and she immediately fell silent.

Steve, meanwhile, had been looking at Bucky - who was still staring at Tony with a deep frown pulling at the corners of his mouth, the tension evident around his shoulders. "You alright?" Steve said quietly to his friend; Bucky simply nodded once, not taking his eyes from Tony.

For a few seconds the only sound was the rapid-fire tapping of the keyboard, then Tony spoke once more. "You really know your stuff, Bonnie," he said without looking up, making Katherine exhale the breath that she hadn't realised she'd been holding. "I'm not going to lie, I took a look at the background check that Capsical ran on you. Two Masters under your belt, one in software engineering and the other in advanced computer systems development, and your focus is now in cyber security," he said, rattling off her qualifications; he raised his gaze to her, looking at her from over the top of his red-tinted glasses. "Top of your class at Imperial University, right? This is a project for your Phd?"

"Yeah," she said, her voice coming out slightly shaky.

Tony grinned at her. "Also, arrested but never charged after a hacking incident when you were fifteen." He wagged a finger at her like he was scolding a child. "Naughty, MI6 should have slapped your wrist for that one."

"It was - one time," she muttered, feeling herself starting to go red as both Steve and Bucky turned to look at her - she had thought that her father had pulled enough strings to get that expunged from her record, but apparently not.

"Impressive credentials," Tony said, returning his gaze to the code. "If I'm reading this right … and I am ... this system should not only prevent any hacks, but gets any potential hackers caught in their own trap, sending back mutated versions of their own malware to cripple them."

Katherine nodded, wringing her hands nervously as she watched the billionaire technician scrutinise her work.

"This is so _nasty_ ," he said with relish, apparently impressed. "My firewall works on blocking attacks, but this actually lets them in and by that point the trap would have already been sprung. Any data that leaves the system wipes itself out and everything around it." Tony held up what appeared to be a USB stick. "May I?" he asked.

"Uhh -" she said, not knowing exactly what he was asking, but he'd already connected it to her laptop.

"I'm plugging Jarvis into your computer so that he can take a gander as well," Tony explained, his gaze focused on the screen once more.

"O-okay," she said trying to control the shaking that was clear in her voice.

Silence fell again and Katherine eventually tore her eyes from Tony, unable to take the tension of watching him go through her code. She turned her gaze instead to Bucky, noticing that he had his eyes still fixed on Tony; his gaze was curiously blank, the kind of look he'd get when he was trying too hard to control his emotions, and the corners of his mouth were pulled distinctly down. His tension was evident; he'd come out without putting his gloves on again and so both hands were visible as he gripped the metal back of one of the high stools at the breakfast bar, the knuckles of his flesh hand white.

Worried, she stepped closer to him. "Bucky?" she said softly, not intending the others to hear.

Bucky hesitated, then blinked and looked down at her. "I ... remember his father," he said simply, his voice quiet and hollow - Katherine's lips parted, unsure if he meant that he remembered Howard Stark from the war or from the mission in which he'd killed him.

"Ahh, another old buddy of _Dads_ , as if Capsical here wasn't enough," Tony said with a note of bitterness in his voice, evidently having heard what Bucky said; he looked up and fixed him with a faint glare beneath the red-tinted glasses, his mouth set into a thin line. "Trust me when I say I have no interest in hearing any old war stories."

"Right," Bucky said after a moment's pause, his voice dull - the distinct dents that both of his hands were leaving in the metal back of the stool that he was gripping were the only indication of the emotions and thoughts that were no doubt swirling in his brain.

Carefully, Katherine reached out to cover his flesh hand, squeezing it slightly - the contact was to reassure her just as much as him and she was aware of Steve watching them curiously once more.

There was a pause, then Bucky turned his hand to grasp hers in his own, lowering it so that their hands were joined beside them, their fingers entwined. He suddenly looked down at their hands, a crease between his brow once more, then back up at her. "You're trembling," he observed, also keeping his voice quiet. "Why?"

She hesitated, then replied in a whisper, not wanting to disturb Tony when he was looking at her work. "When I started this code I could only _dream_ of selling to a company like Stark Industries," she explained softly. "Not only does practically feel like an interview, but he actually seems … _interested_."

"More than interested, Bonnie," Tony called over, evidently eavesdropping on their conversation and making Katherine spin around to look at him, wondering if he either somehow had advanced hearing or she just wasn't being quiet enough. "What do you think, Jarvis?"

" _The code would need a few tweaks to effectively interface with the platform Stark Industries runs from, but once it is finished it could be a viable upgrade to the security system that we already have_ ," the smooth, British voice said from the ceiling.

"My thoughts exactly - it's certainly not up to scratch yet, but the idea is sound and it's got potential." Tony looked up at her and smiled. "I'll take it."

"You mean …" she said, absolutely stunned.

"I mean that you are about to become a very rich woman," he replied, closing the laptop and getting smoothly to his feet. "Filthy rich actually since Stark Industries is something of a trend setter in the digital world and every company in the world is going to want a piece of this."

"I-I …"

"You'll have to work with my tech team for a few weeks to finish it, iron out the kinks and make it fully compatible, I assume that's not a problem considering that you and your boyfriend are already squatting here," Tony added, handing the laptop back to her.

She clutched it to her chest with both hands, unable to believe what was going on. "You're offering me a job," she said, beyond dazed.

"Offering you a job, buying your code and, since you're a pretty girl and a friend of Cap's, I'll even waive the usual clause in the contract that says you can't sell to other companies before a year is out," he confirmed, then held out his hand towards her once more. "Are we in business, Bonnie?"

"Y-yes," she replied instantly, almost dropping her laptop in the process as she hastened to share his hand again.

"Excellent. I'll send round the contract in the morning," he said, already making his way out of the kitchen with the air of one who had other things to do. "You kids play nice now," he added as he left - he had barely made it out of the door before he poked his head back into the room. "Oh, and for the love of god, Bonnie, you need to take up the good fight and introduce these fossils to popular culture," he said, pointing between Steve and Bucky. "He's made a start, but I'm assuming Marco here is just as tragic, if not worse, than Cap was when he came out of the ice." Tony pointed two fingers at his eyes, then at her, in the universal symbol of 'I'm watching you.' "Seriously, I'm relying on you."

And with that, he left.

There was a brief silence in the kitchen.

"I don't like him," Bucky said eventually in a low, quiet voice, scowling as he stared at the doorway Stark had just vanished through.

"I _do_!" Katherine said, practically gushing as she held her laptop to her chest once more. "I am in business with Tony Stark, I am in business with _Tony Stark_!" Feeling positively giddy and unable to stop grinning, she spun around in a circle where she stood. "I can't believe this, I need to sit down," she said to herself, aware of both Steve and Bucky watching her as she gracelessly plonked herself back onto her stool.

There was another pause, then Steve half raised one shoulder. "I don't like him much either," he confessed to Bucky with a crooked, boyish smile.

Bucky slowly turned his gaze to his friend and blinked at him, his frown lingering. "But you live here."

"It's convenient for missions," Steve said with a shrug. He visibly hesitated, looking uncertain, before speaking once more. "I heard what you said … do you remember Howard?" he asked carefully, his bright blue gaze fixed on him.

Bucky was silent for a moment, his expression painfully blank. "... Not from the war," he eventually admitted after a long moment, his voice hollow; a stricken expression flashed across Steve's face before he managed to hide it, though he wasn't quick enough. Bucky's frown deepened at the sight. "I'm sorry, I know he was your friend," he added in a low, regretful tone that was full of self-reproach.

Steve still seemed to be struggling to hide his emotions. "I know, but … I don't blame you, Buck," he said intently, his whole demeanor earnest.

"You should," Bucky replied dully, his eyes empty - Katherine knew that look well, it was the look he got when he was lost in bad memories.

"What you did all those years …" Steve said, still trying to get through to his old friend, "... It was Hydra, not you."

Bucky stood silent, staring blankly at him - it was a sullen and watchful look.

"Steve," Katherine said with a quiet note of warning in her voice when Steve opened his mouth to say more, well able to recognise that Bucky was done for now with this particular line of conversation and continuing in that vein would not be beneficial for any of them.

Steve reluctantly closed his mouth and there was a long pause as he cast around for another topic, the awkwardness palpable in the air. "So, um … you two met in a museum?" he eventually said, glancing between the two of them.

She glanced at Bucky, wanting to see if he was going to reply; when he gave no indication that he was going to she cast Steve a small, almost wan smile. "The Smithsonian," she confirmed, not needing to elaborate.

"Oh," he said, then his eyes widened with dawning realisation. "Oh, I should have realised when you first said museum. You were at the …" he trailed off, modesty making his expression rather sheepish.

"The Captain America exhibit," Katherine said, nodding at him; her smile was more genuine now, finding his modesty endearing.

Steve rubbed one hand on the back of his head awkwardly. "See anything interesting?" he asked, one corner of his mouth pulling wryly up.

"Not enough," Bucky said, surprising her by speaking - his expression was still closed off, but the crease between his brow indicated that his thoughts were moving at rapid pace. He glanced quickly at her. "All I saw was the … the memorial to myself before I was recognised," he added, referring to how she had recognised him from the picture that he stood beneath.

"It … It might help to see some of the footage and artefacts," Katherine said slowly, continuing on from what Bucky had said and hoping that he wouldn't be angry with her for the suggestion. "Some of Bucky's memories have been triggered by familiar things."

"I can arrange that," Steve said with a nod.

"Not … not all at once though," Bucky said - she could well understand his hesitation, considering how pained he had seemed just by being around Steve she could only imagine how overwhelming some of the things in the exhibit could be.

"Yes, of course," he agreed.

Another long pause - this time Steve didn't seem to know what to say to break the silence.

Surprisingly, it was Bucky who spoke first. "How did you find us?" he wanted to know, his voice still hollow. Steve looked up and fixed him with a curious stare; Bucky elaborated. "I thought I'd covered our tracks fairly well."

"You did," he confirmed, nodding once more. "And it was luck. Hikers found the car you'd stolen a little ways outside Calgary. We were canvassing all bus stations, train stations, airports and used car dealerships within two-hundred miles. The guy you bought the truck from gave us a rough description of you and the number plate. When the plate flagged on the system it was the best lead we had, so we checked it out." Steve gave them another crooked grin. "Though if you hadn't called us though then I have no doubt that we'd be chasing cold leads in the arctic circle right now," he added wryly, tipping a nod in Katherine's direction as if to acknowledge her misdirection.

Bucky nodded, looking thoughtful. "And Hydra?" he wanted to know, surprising Katherine slightly with the question.

Steve's expression turned serious. "Deeper than I thought was even possible," he told them, a deep frown on his face. "The fight at the Triskelion was just the tip of the iceberg." He shook his head and rubbed one hand over the lower half of his face. "Taking them down is going to be a big job. They've taken numerous known Shield bases. A few have been reclaimed, but God only knows how many safe houses and secret bases there are."

"I know," Bucky said quietly, so soft that the words were almost inaudible - Steve shot him a sharp look and he shrugged his metal shoulder. "I'm not saying I want to fight - not yet, but …"

"No one is asking you to suit up, Buck, but any information that you do have …" Steve said, trailing off with quiet intensity.

Bucky nodded once, then winced slightly and pinched the bridge of his nose with his flesh hand, clearly in pain once more.

Recognising that he had reached his limit, Katherine decided to interject. "It's been a long day, perhaps we should …" she said pointedly, glancing at the clock on the wall that said it was nearly midnight - though it felt later to her with the time-difference from where they had been in Canada.

"Of course, I'll see you in the morning," Steve said immediately; he then cast another warm, easy smile her way. "And congratulations on your code," he added, sounding genuinely pleased for her.

"Thanks," she said with a wide grin, still unable to believe that she was going into business with Stark Industries. She took Bucky's hand once more, automatically entwining their fingers. "Good night, Captain Rogers."

"It's Steve, please," he insisted; she nodded and, after one last smile, the two of them started to make their way from the kitchen. "And Bucky?" Steve called after them, making him pause and look over his shoulder at his old friend. "I know we've got a long road ahead of us, but … it's good to have you back."

* * *

Bucky was stood at the huge windows of the bedroom that looked out over the city while Katherine got ready for bed in the bathroom, his metal hand resting lightly on the glass as he gazed out at the lights. Even though it was well into the night, the city was positively aglow with light and movement: red tail lights on cars, flashing neon on buildings and the lights of thousands upon thousands of apartments.

Parts of the skyline were familiar, certain buildings striking a chord in his mind even though he couldn't have named them, but the rest was utterly alien to him - too big, too bright and too fast-paced.

His gaze focused instead on his reflection in the glass; he was still wearing the clothes he'd had put on that morning in Canada, a plaid shirt and faded jeans, and his hair was hanging lankly around his face. His head was aching fiercely and he looked gaunt and tired, his features revealing just how much pain he was in. His eyes then shifted to the metal hand resting on the glass, not having put his gloves back on after Katherine had removed them; he purposefully pressed his fingers down on the glass slightly just to watch the plates move.

It was in moments like this, seeing New York laid out like a map before him between the slightly-spread fingers of his hated metal hand, that he could scarcely recognise the man he'd once been inside himself.

He heard Katherine coming out of the bathroom but didn't turn around, sensing her walking slowly towards him and anticipating the gentle hand that she laid on his back. "Bucky?" she said quietly, her voice soft, soothing for his aching head.

Without turning to face her, he swallowed and slowly raised his right hand to point out of the window. "That's the Brooklyn Bridge," he said simply, having recognised its distinctive shape over the river, but his voice was dull and expressionless even to his own ears - he felt like he was on edge, his body coiled with tension that might explode at any moment. "I used to walk by it every day to work at the navy yard."

"You remember that?" she asked, sounding slightly surprised; her gaze followed the line of his finger towards the bridge. "Whereabouts was the navy yard?"

Wordlessly, he pointed slightly further up the river - he still didn't remember any particular details of his life in New York before the war, but seeing the city once more had shaken loose the memory of the navy yard in his mind, leaving him with faint impressions of grease, heavy lifting and gruff, masculine laughter.

Katherine's gaze travelled towards the distant lights of Brooklyn. "So you would have lived …"

"I don't remember where," he told her when she trailed off, his voice coming out slightly blunt and hoarse in the quiet of the room. "I just remember the bridge."

There was a long pause, and then she spoke again, peeking up at him from beneath her long lashes. "I'm sure Steve would know," she said quietly; her voice was deliberately light, but the suggestion still made him tense up even further. "Perhaps we could go and visit Brooklyn at some point."

Bucky's breaths were coming quickly, too quickly, as adrenaline leaked into his system, like his body was preparing for a fight.

Everything - being back in New York, being with _Steve_ again, even seeing Howard Stark's son - was overwhelming him because there were things that he remembered, things he _couldn't_ remember and everything was _different_ and strange and _yet_ -

"This was a mistake," he breathed through the utter turmoil that was his mind, his thoughts spiking dangerously as he stared out over the city with wide, vacant, unseeing eyes.

He felt Katherine's hand move soothingly down his back. "You don't know that yet," she said gently, her voice lulling. "Steve -"

A fine spiderweb of cracks appeared on the window beneath the pressure of his metal fingers and he jerked his hand away from the glass, taking a stumbling step back.

"Bucky?" she said worriedly, glancing between him and the window.

"I - I want to kill him," he admitted to her, turning to look at her with wild eyes; some small part of his mind noticed her small flinch and how stricken she was by his words. "That was my mission, my last orders." Closing his eyes tightly, he winced as pain wracked his brain and griped the sides of his head - Christ, his head hurt _so much_ , his every thought was making it ache, pulsing in time with his racing heartbeat. "And now, being here with him …"

There was a pause as Katherine hesitated, apparently thinking about what she wanted to say. Eventually, he felt her hands on his shoulders once more, resting there gently and grounding him as his thoughts swirled like a tempest in his mind. "He's your friend," she eventually said quietly, earnestly. "He can help you."

Bucky kept his eyes squeezed tightly closed and shuddered, tremors wracking his whole frame. "I don't want to fail," he choked out as memories of ice, beatings and white hot electricity crowded his mind, making him half think he was back at a Hydra base once more as cold crept inexorably over him. "They punish me when I fail."

"Hey, shhhh," Katherine said soothingly, the hands on his shoulders moving up to his face. He opened his eyes as she cupped his cheeks, finding her gazing earnestly up at him, the lights of the city catching in her hazel eyes. "I'm here, I've got you," she whispered reassuringly, the warmth of her hands and the gentleness of her voice cutting through the icy memories that had clamped down on his mind like a vice.

Bucky covered both her hands with his own and bought their foreheads together, closing his eyes once more and exhaling a long, shaky breath as he did so - he tried to ignore his other thoughts and focus on just her to calm his mind, noting the citrus smell of her hair, the faint sound of her breaths and heartbeat, the scalding warmth of her skin and the hint of mint on her breath.

Silhouetted against the window, they stayed like that for several long moments as his breathing gradually slowed and his thoughts ebbed, the darkness lingering but no longer crowding the front of his mind. Eventually, Katherine went on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to his cheek once again in a lingering kiss. "Come to bed," she said softly in his ear, her hands moving down to rest on his shoulders once again.

He sighed deeply, their breath mingling in the scant space between them, and opened his tired eyes. "I won't sleep," he said wearily, knowing that he would not likely find any rest despite feeling exhausted from the pain.

"Then don't sleep," she replied quietly, her hands travelling lightly down the soft, plaid sleeves of his shirt to take both of his hands in hers; She took a step backwards, then another; holding his gaze, she drew him slowly towards the large bed that dominated the room. "But come to bed anyway."

* * *

 **Sorry for the delay in updating, but term has now finished and I am DONE for the summer! I'm going camping several times, but I'm hoping to have enough free time to get slightly more on top of this story and get a few chapters ahead again to keep updates more regular.**

 **As always, I'd love to hear your ideas on where you think this story could go - I have a vague plan, but am always open to suggestions.**

 **Leave a review, my darlings :)**


	16. Meeting a friend

Bucky spent the long hours of the night laying with his metal arm behind his head, his face tilted towards the bright New York skyline that was visible through the large windows as his thoughts continued to swirl. Katherine had long since fallen asleep; she'd started the night in his arms, her head pillowed on his chest, but had shifted in her sleep so that she now had her back to him, though still close enough for him to feel the warmth radiating from her body.

He thought that he wouldn't sleep at all but some point, several hours before the sun rose, he must have drifted off due to sheer mental exhaustion from the strain of the past few days, lulled by the soft, regular sounds of Katherine's breathing.

A memory of his time as the Soldier rose in his mind.

 _He felt so_ cold _, his every limb locked and frozen as the darkness retreated to reveal the barren metal of the Siberian bunker in which he was held. He was vaguely aware of feeling returning to his limp muscles as he was dragged to the chair in the centre of the room._

 _Then there was pain - so much fucking_ pain _. He was roaring, gasping,_ screaming _as the white hot burning in his mind seared its way through the lingering cold. In a haze of pain, those dreaded words, spoken slowly and precisely, slipped into his defenceless mind, like parasites eating into his brain._

 _At first there there was a sense of horror, terrified anticipation of what was happening, followed by hopelessness as he struggled to just_ breathe _. The words were insidious in his mind and anger, fury,_ hate _flared up in him as he realised there was no fighting it. The lingering parts of Bucky Barnes that rose to the surface whenever he was out of cryo were wiped, only to drain away as the Soldier in his mind took over - he was blank, cold and empty, simply awaiting orders._

" _Good morning Soldier," his handler said in Russian._

" _Ready to comply," the Soldier replied simply in the same language, knowing what was expected from him._

" _I have a mission for you," Karpov told him, a dossier in his hands. "Sanction and extract. No witnesses."_

* * *

Katherine was roused by Bucky jerking in his sleep. Blinking herself awake, she rolled over to look at him - he was laying on his side, facing away from her, towards the window with one hand beneath the pillow; as she watched his whole body twitched again and he gasped, his body tense.

"Bucky," she said quietly, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder.

He didn't wake - instead he jerked sharply once more and inhaled a quick breath before suddenly shouting, _roaring_ , in what was clearly unimaginable pain.

Knowing full well that he often thrashed in his sleep, Katherine backed away for her own safety, getting out of the bed as his screaming grew louder and more hoarse - so loud, his voice echoing off the walls of the room they had been given. "Bucky, wake up!" she said, gentle and insistent at the same time, one hand half reaching towards him, fearful that he would disturb half the tower with his shouting.

He abruptly froze as he rolled onto his back, his body twitching as his hands clenched and unclenched, his eyes still closed with a sheen of cold sweat covering his skin. "Я готов отвечать," he murmured in his sleep, tension wracking his body with those quiet words.

Katherine hesitated, strongly suspecting that he was trapped in the midst of a nightmare from his days with Hydra, if the Russian was any indication, then placed her hand on his shoulder once more. "Please wake up, Bucky -"

She was interrupted by the bedroom door bursting open and Bucky suddenly exploded into movement - the knife that he pulled from beneath the pillow flew faster than the eye could follow, striking the shield that Steve held in his hand with deadly accuracy, evidently having been drawn to their bedroom by the shouting.

"Bucky -" she said, at precisely the same time Steve did, but was cut off once more as Bucky seized her, pulling her protectively behind him as a gun appeared in his hand as if he had conjured it from thin air.

"Bucky, stop!" she shouted desperately; he froze with the gun held pointed at Steve in the doorway, poised to fire if his friend made the slightest movement, his eyes dead and empty of emotion.

No one moved - Steve was frozen in the doorway, his raised shield incongruous alongside the plain white t-shirt and blue pyjama bottoms he was wearing.

"Get out," Katherine said quietly, her eyes fixed on the tense muscles of Bucky's back as he forcibly kept her behind him with his metal hand extended back to hold her in place. Steve's gaze darted to her and Bucky minutely raised the gun in response, his finger visibly tightening on the trigger. "Steve, get out," she repeated earnestly, knowing that he was in danger.

"I'm not leaving you with him," Steve replied instantly, his eyes moving once more between her and Bucky, whose frighteningly vacant, yet watchful gaze was still locked onto Steve, ready to pull the trigger at the first hint of danger.

"He won't hurt me," she told him, trusting in this - the very fact that Bucky had pulled her behind him to protect her reassured her of this. "You're the one he sees as the threat here."

Steve hesitated, his eyes still darting between Bucky, the gun, and her.

" _Please_ Steve," she entreated, practically begging him.

Steve's jaw clenched, clearly worried and unhappy with the situation. "This door stays open," he said warningly by way of compromise, lowering the shield slightly. "I'll be right outside."

Katherine waited until he had backed out of the room, pulling the door only slightly shut behind him, before darting round so that she stood in front of Bucky, who hadn't moved a muscle, the gun still trained over her shoulder. "Bucky," she said, lightly resting her hand over his on the gun and gently pushing it downwards, her gaze fixed on his blank grey eyes, which were still staring at the door Steve had just left through. "Bucky, look at me." Still he didn't look at her, and so she cupped his face with both hands, tilting it towards her. "Bucky …"

His eyes shifted slowly to focus on her, blinking as the frightening emptiness was replaced with confusion. "Katya …" he said slowly, questioningly.

"It's alright," she whispered as he registered the gun in his hand for the first time, dropping it with a clatter from nerveless fingers. His legs seemed to suddenly give out from under him and he collapsed to the floor, falling gracelessly to his knees beside the gun. Katherine followed him down, kneeling right in front of him with her hands on his shoulders to steady him. "You were dreaming," she told him, her voice catching ever so slightly - when they had been sharing a bed in the cabin, more often than not he had either woken himself before his nightmares overwhelmed him or calmed when she called his name; his nightmare tonight reminded her of the first time he had slept in Canada, back when he'd held a knife to her throat.

"Stark," he said with a faint groan, covering his face with both hands. "The _mission_." He was visibly shaking, tension wracking his frame as he rocked slightly. "I remember his father. I remember - bashing his head in to make it look like he'd died in the car crash. I remember wrapping my hand around his mother's neck -"

"Stop, please," Katherine begged him - she knew what he'd done, had read about it in the mission report in the files, but hearing the reality of it was terrible.

"I'm sorry," he said immediately; his eyes were squeezed tightly closed, his voice hoarse and contrite. Blindly, he reached out and drew her desperately towards him, his hands on her back to keep her close as they knelt on the floor. He pressed their foreheads together. "I'm sorry," he whispered once more, his voice breaking.

"Shhh," she said soothingly, moving her hands upwards from his shoulders to grip in his hair instead, keeping her forehead pressed to his, suspecting that the contact would help ground him. "I've got you, Bucky."

There was a long pause as he took several shuddering breaths, then he spoke once more. "It …"

"What?" she asked as he trailed off, sounding like a lost child.

"It helps when you say my name," he admitted in a wretched whisper, his breath fanning over her lips. She felt him shake his head ever so slightly and she pulled back a few inches to look at him, moving her hands to cup his cheeks again; he slowly opened his eyes at the touch, their expression pained and far too old for his face. "They never used my name."

"Bucky …" she said softly, leaning forwards to press a kiss to his forehead; he sighed and closed his eyes once more, his fingers sliding up her back to her hair, gripping too tightly as he held her against him. "Bucky …" she said again, pressing another gentle kiss to his temple before letting her mouth graze downwards over his bearded cheek. "Bucky …" she whispered again, her lips lingering at the very corner of his mouth.

"Katya …" he murmured in response, the metal hand cupping the base of her skull tightening slightly to hold her in position, unyielding, unwilling to let her move so much as an inch; he opened his eyes their noses brushed and she could feel his breath on her lips, their mouths a scant hairsbreadth apart.

The sound of the bedroom door closing with a quiet snick caused both of them to turn to look and the spell was broken - she'd forgotten that Steve was outside and listening, evidently he'd deemed that Bucky was no longer a threat and closed the door to give them privacy.

Bucky exhaled a shaky breath and looked around the room, his gaze taking in the knife by the door, the gun on the floor and the bedsheets in disarray; he dropped his forehead to rest it defeatedly on to her shoulder. "We shouldn't have come," he said quietly into her collarbone, his voice dull and bleak.

Not knowing what she could say to help, Katherine simply threaded one hand through his hair and rested the other on his shoulder, holding him close as they knelt on the floor.

* * *

A few hours later, once the sun had well and truly risen over New York, Katherine and Bucky emerged from their bedroom, having got no more rest since Bucky had woken up from his nightmare. The apartment was seemingly deserted and Katherine lead the way to the kitchen, looking for Steve.

"Jarvis, where's Steve?" she asked when it became apparent that he wasn't here.

" _Captain Rogers is on the Avenger's training floor, located two levels down_ ," the smooth, British voice of the AI replied. " _Shall I let him know that you and Sergeant Barnes are awake_?"

Katherine glanced at Bucky, who looked drawn and exhausted, before replying. "Yeah, thanks."

There was a long pause, then the AI spoke once more. " _He says that he will be up shortly_ ," Jarvis told them as they helped themselves to tea and coffee from the kitchen. " _Meanwhile, Miss Potts is requesting access to Captain Roger's floor. I believe she is looking for you, Miss Summers_."

She froze, an empty mug poised in her hand. " _Pepper_ Potts, CEO of Stark Industries?" she checked.

" _Indeed, shall I let her in?"_

"Sure," Katherine replied, her hand shaking ever so slightly as she put the mug down on the breakfast bar.

Bucky frowned slightly at her, evidently picking up on her sudden tension. "You know her?" he asked, his voice still slightly rusty from his shouting earlier.

"I know _of_ her," she corrected him, having read all about Stark Industries' CEO in various magazines, ranging from Cosmo to Time. "She's amazing, an absolute feminist icon and in charge of one of the biggest businesses in the world. I'd love to -"

She cut herself off at the sound of the lift doors, followed by heels clicking on the floor. A tall, slender woman appeared in the doorway of the kitchen carrying a small selection of files; she was wearing elegantly tailored office wear and her strawberry blonde hair was immaculately styled.

"Good morning," she said with a small, though genuine smile. "My name is Pepper Potts. You must be Sergeant Barnes and … I believe Tony said your name was Bonnie?" she said, raising a single, perfectly plucked eyebrow at Katherine.

"It's Katherine," she hastened to correct her as she shook her hand; Bucky, meanwhile, simply nodded his acknowledgement, warily keeping his distance from the stranger.

"I've bought around your contract and I thought you might like a tour of the tech offices this morning," Pepper offered, handing her one of the files she held.

"Wow, thanks," Katherine replied, excited about the idea of touring the tech department; she then happened to glance down at the file she held and did a double take. "This can't be right …" she said, staring down at the rather large number, preceded by a dollar sign, that had jumped out at her on the page.

Pepper looked over her shoulder and followed her gaze. "Oh, that's just your signing bonus," she said, misinterpreting her confusion as she flipped the page over and indicated a much, _much_ higher number. "This is what Tony is offering to pay for your code, plus you'll be drawing a salary while you work with the tech team."

Katherine made a small, strangled noise as she lowered herself down onto one of the stools at the breakfast bar, not trusting her legs to support her as she stared down at the paper.

"Katya?" Bucky said, his concern obvious.

"I'm fine," she assured him, her voice coming out as a faint squeak - filthy rich, Tony had said yesterday, and by God he wasn't lying. "I'm just having a slight …" she flapped a hand slightly, indicating that she just needed a moment to process this.

Pepper turned to Bucky. "You'd be welcome to join us on the tour, Sergeant Barnes," she offered politely.

"Bucky," he replied instantly, correcting her; he seemingly thought for a moment, and then shook his head. "And … no, thank you."

"Steve will probably be back soon," Katherine told him, regaining her composure - she was in front of the CEO of Stark Industries after all, it wouldn't do to come across as a starstruck little girl. She hesitated, wanting to go on the tour but also cautious of leaving Bucky alone with Steve after what had happened last night. "Will you be alright?"

He nodded, his coffee mug held in his metal hand - despite looking tired and contrite, he seemed calmer and more in control than when they'd arrived yesterday.

"Shall we?" Pepper said at his nod, raising one immaculately manicured hand to gesture towards the elevator.

Katherine bit her lip, still hesitating, before she went onto her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to Bucky's cheek, then followed Pepper out of the apartment.

* * *

Left alone, Bucky took his coffee cup and walked over to the large windows that dominated the apartment. It was a different view to their bedroom, looking out over Manhattan, with Central Park visible between the buildings. He occupied himself by picking out familiar buildings amongst the crowded skyline, an activity that focused his mind.

He actually felt calmer now after his nightmare - it was as if the tension he had been carrying had built and built, reaching its peak last night only to then drain away. It left a hollow feeling in its wake, but anything was better than the pain, uncertainty and fear that he'd felt at turning himself over to Steve.

And Katherine actually seemed happy with what had happened with Stark and her code - that alone made him think that it was worth staying despite his misgivings.

The sudden sound of the approaching elevator had him on high alert - his hand hovered near the gun in the waistband of his jeans, wary and waiting.

The elevator opened and he heard the heavy tread of footsteps that was somehow familiar; Steve appeared in the doorway and paused at the sight of Bucky by the window, his hand poised to reach for his gun.

"Hey," Steve said simply, cautiously. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt and loose fitting tan pants, a light sheen of sweat covering his skin from his workout.

Bucky simply nodded in greeting, unsure of what to say after attacking his friend last night.

"Jarvis told me you were up," Steve said as he moved into the kitchen, helping himself to coffee from the pot; he then glanced around. "Where's Katherine?"

"Touring Stark Industries," he replied simply, moving slowly to join his friend in the kitchen. Hesitantly, he sat down on one of the stools, the same one that bore a slight dent from his hands from where he had gripped it as he'd stared at Stark the previous day. "I'm sorry about last night," he added quietly, knowing that an apology was needed.

"I'm sorry too," Steve said instantly, contrition evident in every line of his body as he leant against the counter opposite him. "I heard the shouting and was worried, but I shouldn't have just come bursting in with the Shield like that, that was …" he hesitated and then rubbed the back of his head with one hand before half raising one shoulder. "Well, guess you didn't take all the stupid with you, as it turns out."

There was a long pause - Steve seemed tense, looking at him like he was waiting for something that he wasn't sure was going to come. Bucky stared at him intently in turn, wondering what he was missing in those words, but then a memory rose in his mind.

" _Don't do anything stupid until I get back."_

" _How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you."_

"... That's what you said when I was leaving," Bucky said slowly, quietly, lost in the memory - he'd had a few memories of that same night at the Stark Expo resurface in his mind, small fragments that he had shared with Katherine when they'd been out in the snow at the cabin, but this was a new one.

A relieved, half grin broke out over Steve's face at his words and he nodded his confirmation.

Bucky shook his head slightly as one corner of his mouth tugged distinctly upwards at the memory, knowing from his other fragments of that night what was expected of him. "You were such a punk," he said to his old friend, his almost-smile lingering.

"Jerk," Steve retorted instantly, the affection obvious in his voice.

They shared a moment of comradery - not the easy, natural comradery they'd shared in the forties, but certainly none of the hostility that had marked most of their interactions in the twenty-first century - before Steve's expression shifted to seriousness once more. "Sounded like quite an intense nightmare last night," he commented, still leant back against the counter.

Bucky simply shrugged one shoulder, his eyes lowered, not wanting to tell him that he had dreamt of the mission in which he'd killed their friend, Howard Stark.

Steve took a hesitant breath before continuing. "I know a guy, a Doctor -"

"No."

"He isn't a psychiatrist or anything," Steve hastened to clarify. "He is actually works in biochemistry and nuclear physics -"

"I said _no_ ," Bucky repeated, his words coming out as a violent snarl as cold, clammy memories of being strapped to a table and injected with God knows what or being restrained in that damned chair as Doctors set the sequence to wipe him again and again crowded in his mind. "After Zola there is no way in _hell_ I am allowing any Doctor near me."

"Okay," Steve said instantly, exhaling a breath, clearly not wanting to push this too far. "Okay ..." He hesitated briefly before speaking once more. "There's someone else I'd like you to meet though, a friend of mine - not a Doctor," he clarified quickly at the dark look Bucky gave him. "I think he'd be able to help you."

Bucky sighed and half shrugged one shoulder, indicating that he was willing, if not particularly enthused, to do as he asked.

"I'll give him a call, ask him to swing by," Steve said with a small nod. There was another long silence, broken by Steve once more, though he sounded hesitant, like he wasn't sure about what he was offering. "I have something for you too," he said; Bucky looked at him and he gestured for him to follow.

Wordlessly, he followed Steve through the apartment until they came to what could only be described as a War Room; maps dominated the walls, many of them containing pins to indicate basis or safe houses, alongside copious notes and photos. Files dotted the table and there was a large desk in the corner. It struck a familiar chord with Bucky, but there was also new, clearly advanced technology scattered within that was alien to him.

"When Zola died in the late seventies his possessions were put into storage, but after his role in rebuilding Hydra was revealed SHIELD has been looking further into his life over the past weeks," Steve said as he looked in one of the desk drawers; he straightened up, a small black box held in his hand. "These were found hidden among his things."

He slid the small box across the table towards him; Bucky hesitated to pick it up, not wanting to touch anything that had belonged to Zola, but eventually curiosity and the look on Steve's face won out.

He opened the box and immediately felt like he'd been punched in the stomach.

Inside was his dog tags, the ones that he had been wearing when he'd fallen from the train that had been issued to him during the Second World War.

He lifted them from the box, letting the chain dangle from the fingers of his metal hand as he stared at them. "I thought you might want to have them," Steve added quietly after a long moment, when Bucky still hadn't said a word.

They were simple and cheaply made, the words James B Barnes and his serial number stamped into the plain metal, but they were the only thing from his life before Hydra that he now owned. Slowly, he pulled the chain over his head, the feel of it around his neck somehow familiar even decades after he'd last worn them, and held the tags tightly in the clenched fist of his flesh hand. "Thank you," he said simply, earnestly, meeting his friends eyes.

Steve looked relieved, like he hadn't been sure how he would react to the dog tags, and smiled at him. There was another brief silence, then Bucky's eyes moved around the maps and charts within the room once more, noting the supposed locations of Hydra bases and safe houses.

"You know that some of these are wrong?" Bucky asked, returning his gaze to his friend, and Steve's eyebrows shot up in response.

* * *

Katherine was in heaven - Stark Industries technology department was a computer programmers dream. She knew that Stark Industries was one of the world's leading companies when it came to technology, but she didn't truly appreciate what that meant until she was there.

And she was welcomed among them - she met the small team that she would be working with and discussed what she had done with the code so far. They were all excited to be working on the project with her and she spent some time both answering and asking questions, relishing the opportunity to talk about her work with people who truly understood her.

With the tour finished and a meeting with the team set up for the following morning, Katherine and Pepper were having lunch in a rather fancy, exclusive restaurant located about half way up Stark Tower, with panoramic windows that looked out over downtown Manhattan. Katherine was feeling a little self-conscious sat opposite the elegantly dressed Pepper, acutely aware that no one else in the restaurant was wearing cheap jeans and a jumper bought from a some backwater, Canadian outlet store.

She mentioned feeling self-conscious to Pepper when she asked her what was wrong, explaining how they had been on the run for weeks, hiding from cameras, and that Bucky had bought the clothes she was wearing for her.

"You know, the first two floors of Stark Tower are a shopping mall and all of the cameras down there are connected to Tony's secure server," Pepper told her as she daintily speared a small cube of feta cheese from her Greek salad. "You said you haven't been able to use credit cards, but it would be easy enough to get you a company card and simply deduct what you buy from your first paycheque."

It was official, Katherine was in love with Pepper Potts.

* * *

With the information Bucky provided, Steve had called a meeting to discuss their next moves in dealing with Hydra. Bucky hadn't wanted to go and so he had stayed in the apartment once Steve had left, taking the time to write some of the memories that had resurfaced over the past few days in his notebook.

It was the middle of the afternoon when he heard the sound of the elevator once more, making him glance up from his notebook. The doors opened with a ping and he heard the sound of heavy footsteps - and the fact that it wasn't a gait that he recognised had him leaping into action.

Swiftly, he pulled the gun from his jeans and used one of the doorframes that led onto the large, open plan living room as cover as he pointed his gun towards the approaching footsteps, waiting to see if the person was a threat.

A burly man with close-cropped, dark blond hair walked into the living room; he was wearing all black and had a large, cardboard box of beers that he was carrying on one shoulder. He paused at the sight of Bucky covering him with the gun, clearly unphased at finding himself at gunpoint but also not making any moves that might be perceived as a threat. "You must be Bucky," he said simply after a moments silence.

Bucky didn't move, keeping the stranger covered with his gun, still trying to determine if he was friend or foe.

" We haven't met yet." The man casually put the box of beers down on the floor and then straightened up. "I'm Clint."

* * *

Katherine made her way back to Steve's floor late in the afternoon, humming happily to herself. She had numerous shopping bags containing clothes that she had bought for both herself and Bucky looped over her wrists and had several cardboard containers of Chinese food from the restaurant downstairs balanced in her hands.

"Bucky?" she called as the elevator doors opened with a faint ding; she walked straight through to the large living area of Steve's apartment and was surprised to find it occupied. "Oh, hello," she said bemusedly, coming to a halt in the doorway as she took in the image before her - Bucky and a man that she instantly recognised from the news reports of the New York alien invasion as being Clint Barton, the Avenger known as Hawkeye, were sat opposite each other on the sofa, numerous empty bottles of beer littering the coffee table between them.

"You must be Katherine, I've been hearing a lot about you," Clint said, tilting his bottle in Bucky's direction to indicate his source, staying seated while Bucky immediately stood up to help her with the bags and containers. "Name's Clint Barton."

"I figured," she said with a faint smile, shaking his offered hand once her own were free - a large part of her couldn't believe that she had met _three_ of the Avengers in just a few days. "What are you doing here?" she asked curiously, not having expected Bucky to have company, let alone look as relaxed as he did.

"Just came for a few drinks. Steve called and said I should swing by," he said with an easy shrug, still reclined casually on the sofa. He then nodded down to the numerous bags at her feet. "You've been busy," he added wryly, in the age old tone of men bewildered by women's shopping habits.

"You could say that," she allowed with a slight grin, then gestured towards the cardboard cartons of food that Bucky had placed on the table for her. "I bought take-out food, would you like to join us?"

"Nah, I'm expected elsewhere," Clint said, getting to his feet. He held his hand out to Bucky to shake and she was quietly surprised that he did so without a moment's hesitation. "Nice to meet you, man. Think about what I said." Then, with a polite nod and smile in Katherine's direction, he headed towards the elevator.

Katherine looked curiously at Bucky once they were alone. "He's a friend of Steve's," he told her, reading the unasked question in her gaze. "He's … well, he's been through something similar to me. Mind control, having to come to terms with his actions," he elaborated, sitting back down on the sofa and looking distinctly thoughtful, staring down at the half-drunk bottle of beer that he was turning round and round in his hands as he spoke.

"Did talking to him help?" she asked, perching on the edge of the coffee table so that she was right in front of him.

Bucky looked up to meet her eyes, then nodded once. "I think so," he said carefully, sounding ever so slightly surprised by this.

Katherine thought it was a good sign; they had interacted with very few people over the past few weeks and Bucky hadn't exactly warmed to Sam or Tony and so she hoped that he might strike up a friendship with Clint. "What did he want you to think about?" she asked, curious about his parting comment.

Bucky took a deep breath and slowly put the half-drunk bottle down on the table in front of him. "Steve wants me to talk to someone, a Doctor," he told her, making her frown - Steve had floated the idea to her yesterday and she wasn't sure he would be ready for it. "Clint thinks its a good idea too, said that he helped him get through what happened. He was just telling me about him."

"A Doctor?" she repeated, hoping he would elaborate some more - as it was, he didn't look as distressed by the idea as she would have expected.

"Doctor Banner," he said and she blinked, tilting her head at him - the name was familiar, but she couldn't immediately place it. "You might know him as the Hulk," Bucky added, no doubt reading her confusion. "He's done terrible things, unable to control the monster inside him …"

"Bucky?" she prompted when he trailed off, his eyes unfocused and staring down at the table, seemingly lost in thought.

"I thought no one would understand, but …" He shook his head slightly and his flesh hand crept to the collar of the flannel shirt he was wearing, gripping something at his neck. "What happened to me, having no control, regretting actions ... It wasn't unique, it was ... _human_." He finally raised his gaze to her, his eyes surprisingly clear and pain-free. "I was human."

Katherine reached out and cupped his face in both hands, leaning close to him. "Of course you're human," she agreed earnestly, amazed by how helpful the conversation with Clint had apparently been to him. "You're not a machine, Bucky, not even a soldier … You're a man," she told him, holding his gaze; when his mouth twitched into a small, half smile at her words she leant forwards and pressed a light kiss on the very tip of his nose, watching as the corner of his mouth tugged even higher into a genuine half-smile at that small sign of affection.

"What do you have there?" she asked curiously, noticing that his flesh hand was still gripping something within the collar of his shirt.

Wordlessly, he drew his hand out of his shirt and opened his fingers to show her. Her lips parted at the sight - there, laying in the palm of his hand, were his World War Two dog tags, the name James B Barnes and a serial number stamped into the metal.

"How …" she said softly, reaching out to touch the metal, noting how warm it was from having laid against his chest.

"Steve," Bucky said simply, watching her as she trailed her fingers over the tags and the chain at his neck. Katherine looked around the apartment, suddenly wondering where Steve was. "He's at a meeting," Bucky added, clearly reading her thoughts.

Katherine smiled, still perched on the coffee table in front of him. "All the more for us then," she said, nodding towards the take-out cartons she'd bought up. "I thought I'd start your education to the twenty first century with Chinese food and a movie."

"A movie?" Bucky repeated, his head tilted to one side as he stared at her.

She nodded. "Do you remember movies?" she wanted to know; there hadn't been a television in the cabin and so it was a topic that hadn't come up between them yet.

"I remember … I remember watching the Wizard of Oz at the pictures," he said slowly, his gaze shifting over her shoulder and going slightly vacant as he thought back; the corner of his mouth curled slowly upwards once more, evidently lost in the memory. "The colours were so bright, so vivid …"

Katherine smiled again, pleased to see him so relaxed and content after the tension of the past few days. "I could probably find the Wizard of Oz fairly easily, if you wanted to watch it," she offered, liking the sound of the easy simplicity of the evening.

Bucky looked at her once more and nodded, his eyes clear and warm as his half smile widened to a small, though unmistakable, grin that nearly stopped her heart.

* * *

 **Steve is such a cock-blocker …**

 **Sorry for the delay in updating, summer holidays have proved busier than I thought with several visits to catch up with friends that I don't see during term time.**

 _ **Request**_ **\- I'd love it if someone could beta this story for me since I'm pretty sure typos slip through the net. Would involve me emailing chapters to you and you highlighting any mistakes or things to change in another colour before sending them back. I'd also like to be able to bounce ideas off someone, which would involve spoilers for the story, since I have several ideas of directions to take it and I want to thrash them out … let me know if you're interested!**

 **Also, keep in mind that I'll probably only have one beta and I'll probably go for whoever has the most experience or interest, so be sure to tell me if you've done it before!**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies!**


	17. Family

Early the following morning Katherine was in the bathroom getting ready for her first day working with the tech team at Stark Industries, clearly unable to stay asleep longer due to excitement and nerves. Leaving her to it, Bucky was still in bed, awake and propped up against the headboard with his notebook open, rereading some of the memories he had written, as was his custom.

He paused at a memory he'd written down whilst at the cabin, the one of a small, dark haired girl that had called him Jamie as she'd helped his mother cook - he strongly suspected that it was a memory of his sister, but he still wasn't certain.

Perhaps he would ask Steve about it, he may well know.

The bathroom door opened and he automatically glanced up, only to stop and stare. Katherine was dressed like he'd never seen her - a fitted, dark green blouse that was open at the collar, tucked into a figure hugging black pencil skirt that ended just above her knees and black heels that made her legs look even longer. Her hair was up with small curls artistically arranged to escape around her face. She was wearing subtle makeup, her lashes appearing longer and fuller and her lips just a shade darker than usual, giving her an almost sultry look.

She noticed his stare and smiled nervously at him, smoothing her hands over the pencil skirt and drawing his attention to the curve of her hips. "What do you think?" she asked, turning around slowly to give him a full view; he rubbed his flesh hand over the lower half of his face as he watched her turn, feeling his groin tighten at the sight of her and grateful for the duvet that covered him.

 _What did he think?_

He thought that he wanted to slide his hands up beneath the tight fabric of her skirt, drawing it up her thighs. He thought that he wanted to turn her around and bend her sweet body over the edge of the bed so that he could touch her. He thought that he wanted to see her in those heels and nothing else.

Fully detoxed from the chemicals and drugs that Hydra had plugged him with to keep him compliant, such thoughts were now not uncommon - indeed, stroking himself to completion in the shower, inevitably to thoughts of touching and bedding Katherine, was a near daily occurrence for him.

Wrestling his thoughts under control, he managed a small smile at her. "You look lovely," he said simply, honestly; Katherine seemed more than happy with the compliment, her cheeks pinkening ever so slightly. She walked towards the bed and leant over him to press a kiss to his bearded cheek before picking up her laptop bag and heading off to work.

Bucky tilted his head back against the headboard and exhaled a long breath once she left, still hard within the confines of his pyjama bottoms.

Time for a shower.

* * *

By the middle of the afternoon Bucky was feeling somewhat claustrophobic in the tower. Since arriving he'd yet to leave Steve's floor and he was desperately missing the outdoors and exercise that life in the cabin had provided. Remembering the training floor that had been mentioned the other day, Bucky decided to go looking for it.

Following the directions from Stark's AI (he found the disembodied voice slightly unnerving, but the technology was damned impressive) he headed down to the training floor. He looked around warily as the elevator doors opened on a huge gymnasium, one that had every possible piece of equipment and weights imaginable. Continuing to explore, he discovered a huge swimming pool and a shooting range complete with a vast array of weapons. Finally, he found a large boxing ring; Steve was using a punching bag in the corner, his hands wrapped with white bandages to protect his knuckles and several other punching bags on the floor beside him.

"Hey," he said, noticing Bucky and briefly pausing his punching. He jerked his chin at the room. "Use anything you want."

Bucky glanced around, then approached Steve at the punching bag - he braced himself against it and held the bag steady for him to act as a spotter. Steve nodded his gratitude and continued his strikes, the power he put behind them evident even through the bag.

There was silence for several minutes, then Steve spoke between punches. "The Smithsonian sent over some of the footage from the archives," he told him, his eyes trained forwards. "I've got it on a disk upstairs for you."

Bucky nodded and silence reigned again between them for several long minutes; eventually, Bucky spoke. "I had a sister," he said simply; it was not phrased as a question, but the query was evident in his voice as he thought back to the small snippet of memory he had of the dark haired girl.

Steve paused his punches, their eyes meeting, then he returned his gaze to the punching bag as he resumed, striking with slightly less force this time. "Yeah," he confirmed, a queer note in his voice.

Silence again - Bucky didn't remember anything else about her and so he simply waited for Steve to talk; after a moment Steve glanced at him again and sighed slightly. "Her name was Rebecca, she was a few years younger than you," he told him, allowing Bucky to put a name to the memory of the little girl. A faint smile quirked at Steve's mouth. "Right little spit-fire she was," he said nostalgically, shaking his head slightly. "Boy, she kept you and your family on their toes. All the guys were into her and she used to run rings around you to go to movies or dances."

"Is she still alive?" he asked quietly, suspecting that he already knew the answer.

Steve hesitated, then shook his head. "No," he said softly and Bucky clenched his jaw; it was not a surprise and he didn't even know her aside from the one memory, he told himself sternly, there was no reason to be upset or disappointed.

Steve had stopped punching the bag and had one hand braced on it as he continued, his expression serious. "I looked up several people we used to know when I first came out of the ice. She died about ten years ago." He visibly hesitated again before speaking. "She left a family though, a son called James," he added quietly.

Bucky stared at him, his lips slightly parted at that revelation as his heart pounded in his chest - his sister (it was true, he had a _sister_ ), that tiny little girl in his memories, had named her son after _him_.

Seeing that he wasn't going to reply, Steve spent the next few minutes quietly telling Bucky what he knew of his family - he was surprised to hear that they still lived in New York, though found he had little desire to meet them. They may be his family, but he just had the one memory of Rebecca, who was no longer living, and he very much doubted that they would care to welcome a Hydra assassin into their lives.

"Rebecca is buried next to your parents in Brooklyn, in the same cemetery as my folks," Steve told him as he drew to a close, his eyes impossibly old in his young face. He half raised one shoulder. "We could go, if you want."

Bucky hesitated, then slowly nodded his agreement.

Steve stepped away from the punching bag and sat down on one of the low benches to start unwinding the bandages that protected his knuckles. "Your turn," he said, gesturing to the bag.

Bucky didn't bother wrapping his hands - he'd never done so when he'd been training with Hydra and any injury would heal within a few hours - and so got started straight away, throwing a few lighter punches before settling into a familiar rhythm.

He was aware of Steve frozen where he sat, a half unwrapped bandage still wrapped around the knuckles of one hand as he stared at him. "You're staring," he pointed out rather sharply, knowing that his friend was looking at his metal arm.

"Sorry," Steve said instantly, dropping his eyes for a scant two seconds before raising his chin once more, his eyes returning to the metal arm - he was no doubt intrigued, he hadn't had a chance to look at it properly in all of their encounters so far. Steve jerked his chin at it. "How does it work?"

"Don't know, I never asked," Bucky replied tightly, increasing the force behind his punches, his gaze fixed on the punching bag ahead of him as his world narrowed to a single target. His voice turned caustic as he continued. "But I do know it goes deeper than you can see beneath the shoulder. I know that they were -" he gritted his teeth, punching even harder than before as memories of looking down as a small surgical saw cut away at the stub of arm that had remained after the fall crowded the front of his mind "- cutting away bone to implant it."

"You know that?" he heard Steve asking from where he sat, the horror evident in his voice.

"I kept waking up during the procedure," he bit out, memories still flashing in his mind and he punched harder and harder. "Whatever Zola did to me, it meant that anaesthetic didn't have much of an effect … And I was still _me_ at that point, they didn't wipe me until after I got the arm."

With that final word his metal arm slammed into the punching bag with all his strength and sent it flying across the training area.

He stared after it with his fists clenched at his side, his breaths coming quickly - it wasn't the exertion that had him gasping though, it was trying to wrestle back the memories of Hydra that had surfaced.

Wordlessly, Steve stood and picked up one of the punching bags that waited on the floor, clipping it in place on the hook in the ceiling. He stood behind it, bracing his weight against it as Bucky had done for him.

Bucky sent a few half hearted punches towards the bag and then paused, taking a deep breath as he braced his metal fist against the bag. "Part of me wants a peaceful life," he admitted, looking up to meet Steve's eyes, their colour and shape so damned _familiar_. "To figure out who I am and just … _live_. To eek out an existence without having to think about Hydra or SHIELD or any of them." His expression darkened as he returned his gaze to the punching bag, knowing full well that they wouldn't be safe until Hydra was gone and his strikes resumed with a vigour. "The other part of me wants to _destroy_ them."

Steve nodded slowly, looking like he understood only too well what he was saying. "I'm leading a mission against a base this afternoon, you know there's a spot on the team for you if you want it."

He grimaced and shook his head. "I wouldn't be good on a team. More often than not I went in alone," he told him grimly, remembering how his handlers had mostly just been there to keep him in control and to bring him back if he went off-grid. "Infiltrate, assassinate, destabilize. Whatever the mission, I got it done."

Steve nodded once more, still braced against the punching bag to act as a spotter for him. "Well, the offer's there."

* * *

Later that evening, once Steve had left for his mission, Bucky returned to Steve's floor to find that Katherine had already returned after her day at the Stark tech offices. She was sat on one of the sofas with her legs curled under her, her heels kicked off on the floor beside her. She was talking on the mobile phone that Stark had bought her, oblivious to him standing in the doorway and watching her.

"No, honestly … yeah, I know I've been rubbish at keeping in touch but I really am fine," she was saying into the phone. "Believe it or not, I've actually been cosied up in this stunning little cabin, plugging away at my code - no wifi and very little signal though, hence my radio silence."

A pause, then a slight smile spread over her face. "No, I wasn't alone."

Another pause, during which she looked up and noticed him standing in the doorway - her smile widened even further. "Yeah … Very handsome," she said into the phone, still holding his gaze.

Bucky raised his brows slightly in surprise, well able to deduce that it was him she was talking about - he knew he'd been considered handsome back during the war, but did not think that now, with his uncut hair, beard, metal arm and dark past, that the word would be applied to him. The fact that Katherine considered him handsome in his present state of appearance and mind surprised him.

"I gotta go though …" Katherine continued as he walked into the living room, coming to join her. "Yes … Yeah, he's staring right at me," she said with another grin up at him. "Say hi to everyone for me … Will do … Bye … _Goodbye_ , Olivia," she finished with a slight laugh, pressing a button on the phone screen to end the call.

"One of my friends from home, they were starting to get worried that they hadn't heard from me," she explained, tossing the phone to one side and patting the sofa beside her for him to sit down. He did so, settling in next to her. "What have you been up to today?" she wanted to know.

"I spent most of it on the training floor with Steve," he said, reaching forward to pick up a small plastic case from the coffee table, noting that the disk inside had the word _Smithsonian_ written on it in black pen, Steve's handwriting somehow recognisable to him despite him not having seen it in decades. "They have a fair bit of equipment there, we can restart your training."

"Okay," she agreed easily, then nodded down to the small plastic case that he still held in his metal hand. "What's that?"

He tilted it so that she could read the scrawled writing on the disk. "The Smithsonian sent over some of the footage from their archives," he explained, wondering what he would find on the disk - he remembered seeing the large, black and white photograph of himself on the memorial to himself at the Smithsonian, but knew that he was no longer the same handsome, charming man that it had depicted. He suspected that he would find watching some of the footage of himself during the war, before Hydra, to be jarring as well as potentially helpful in prompting memories.

Katherine watched him turn the case over in his hands, lost in thought; she touched him lightly on the shoulder, no doubt picking up on the frown pulling at his mouth. "What is it?" she asked in a softer, quieter voice.

Bucky took a breath and looked at her. "My sister is dead," he told her simply, noting the way her lips parted in sympathy and her fingers squeezed his shoulder. "I assumed that she would be - hell, if she was alive then she'd be nearly a hundred years old by now - but still …" he trailed off, his gaze shifting out of the window.

"I'm so sorry, Bucky …" Katherine said quietly, taking his flesh hand and holding it in both of her own.

"I have a nephew," he continued in a voice that sounded blank even to his own ears, still somewhat bewildered by this. "His name is James as well. He was born long after I … after I went missing," he finished slowly, not wanting to remember the fall and imprisonment with the Soviets.

Katherine squeezed his hand, letting him know she was there. "Do you want to meet him?"

Bucky shook his head, his gaze still fixed unseeingly out over the city. "According to Steve he's in his late sixties. Got a couple of kids and a grandkid on the way," he told her, amazed by how ordinary these people, his _family_ , were. "I - I don't even know what I'd say to him. They're happy, settled. Last thing they'd want is a … Hydra assassin knocking on their door."

"They're your family," she said softly, echoing his own thoughts.

 _You're my family,_ Bucky thought to himself as he turned to look at her, but didn't voice it.

"I've never met them. And they're better off without me," he said heavily, knowing that he had nothing to give or offer them, he'd only be painting a target on their backs if he tried to contact them. _As I did to you,_ he thought, lowering his gaze to stare down at their entwined hands.

Katherine shifted so that she was sat against his side, resting her head comfortably on his shoulder as she kept hold of his hand. "But I do want …"

"What?" she asked gently when he trailed off.

"Steve said that Rebecca, my sister, is buried right beside my parents in Brooklyn, he said that he'd take me to visit them." He looked down at her and shifted his hand so that he could squeeze her fingers in turn, knowing full well that he would not be able to face it without her. "Will you come too?"

"Of course I will," she said instantly, unhesitatingly.

Bucky exhaled a long breath, tilting his head so that it was resting gently atop of hers, and there was a long silence between them, sat with their hands entwined on the sofa.

* * *

It was well past midnight when Steve quietly returned to the tower, wearing his uniform and carrying his shield on his arm. Bucky and Katherine were still in the living room with the large television showing Gone With the Wind.

They'd started the evening by making some dinner, with Katherine talking excitedly about her work after he'd asked her how her first day at Stark Industries had gone. She had positively gushed about how wonderful her new team was and the high tech resources now at her disposal; he'd understood less than half of what she was saying, but she was happy and that was the main thing.

After eating they'd watched some of the footage sent over from the Smithsonian together. It had been raw footage, none of the voice-overs he vaguely remembered hearing at the museum, chronicling the war. Some of the clips lasted a few minutes, others were just a few seconds of footage - he and Steve laughing with the Howling Commandos, Steve leading a mission that was clearly staged for the cameras, a boardroom as a mission was planned, Bucky leant over the hood of a car cradling a rifle as he frowned down at a map.

Bucky had found he could only manage about fifteen minutes before the now familiar, tell-tale headache of memories that he couldn't access became unbearable and they had put on a movie instead, once again choosing something from the forties that he found familiar. The lights were off to try and sooth his aching head and he had turned the volume down low after Katherine had fallen asleep with her head in his lap, his flesh hand tangled in her hair.

Steve leant against the doorway, his eyes moving from them on the sofa to the TV; he smiled faintly.

"What?" Bucky asked, keeping his voice low so as not to wake her.

"I'm pretty sure this is the _fifth_ girl you've watched this movie with," he replied quietly, sounding distinctly amused, though he too took the care to speak quietly. "Not sure any of your other dates fell asleep though."

Bucky looked down at Katherine, sleeping peacefully against him, one of her hands curled around his knee. "What do people do for dates nowadays?" he questioned curiously, tilting his head as he stared down at the sleeping woman.

Steve's eyes widened comically and his mouth opened and closed for a moment, clearly taken aback. "Are _you_ seriously asking _me_ for dating advice?" he asked eventually, a grin slowly spreading across his face. He shook his head slightly, his smile lingering as he held up his hands as if in defeat. "That's it, the world has officially turned upside down."

Unamused, Bucky scowled deeply at his friend. "If you're not going to help -"

"Oh, I'll help," Steve interrupted, then hesitated and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "In all honesty I'm not the best person to ask. You're in luck though, dinner and a movie is still often the done thing and I doubt she'll expect you to take her dancing or anything." Steve smiled once more. "I can help you set up something here in the tower, if you want," he offered sincerely, since they still couldn't risk being caught on camera in public lest Hydra find them.

Bucky nodded slowly, letting the strands of Katherine's hair slip through his fingers - she'd mentioned dancing back at the cabin, had asked him to teach her, but he had no idea how even though he was certain he had once been good at it. "How was the mission?" he asked after a long moment of silence.

"Over sooner than I expected," Steve said with a faint sigh, shaking his head. "The information you gave was invaluable, but it feels like we are being fed the small fish rather than the big ones." He smiled slightly. "Still, means I can be back here. How does the day after tomorrow sound for going back to Brooklyn? We can take a private car and there won't be any cameras at the cemetery," he suggested, changing the subject.

Bucky nodded once more and after another long moment Steve pushed himself off the wall. "I'm going to shower and turn in," Steve told him, his whole demeanor easy and familiar. "Night Buck."

He nodded his acknowledgement and Steve left the room. Aside from the low sound of the television, the room was silent. Not bothering with the rest of the film, Bucky simply turned it off. He gathered Katherine up in his arms, easily carrying her bridal style with his arms beneath her knees and shoulders, her head tucked into his neck.

She stirred as he used his foot to open their bedroom door. "Bucky?" she murmured into his neck, not even opening her eyes.

"Go back to sleep, doll," he replied softly as he carried her inside.

She yawned hugely and opened her eyes, noting where they were. "No, I'll brush my teeth and stuff before bed," she said sleepily and he gently lowered his arms to allow her to step down from his hold. She smiled slightly and trailed a hand over his arm as she vanished into the bathroom.

He waited for her at the large window, looking out at the lights of the city. After a few minutes she emerged and he did a double take for the second time that day - she was no longer wearing the nightdress that he'd bought for her in Canada, rather she was wearing new pyjamas that she had evidently bought while shopping. They consisted of a plain, white cotton vest and pale pink, silk shorts that revealed most of her creamy white thighs and immediately set his mind down an inappropriate path.

"All yours," she said with another yawn, gesturing towards the bathroom as she crawled beneath the covers, oblivious to the direction his thoughts had taken.

After undressing and brushing his own teeth, taking the time to gain control of his wandering mind, he exited the bathroom and turned off the lights, leaving the room illuminated only by the lights of the city through the windows.

He climbed into the bed behind Katherine, unsurprised to find her already asleep again. He wrapped his flesh arm around her waist and pulled her comfortably against him, her back against his chest, his nose buried in her hair. His hand slipped partially between the gap between her shorts and top and he paused, hesitating; Katherine sighed and pressed herself closer against him in sleep and he slowly, possessively, splayed his hand out over her stomach in response, relishing the feeling of her warm, soft skin beneath his fingers as he closed his eyes to sleep.

* * *

Katherine was acutely aware of Bucky's eyes on her as she ducked beneath the rope of the boxing ring on the training floor that he was holding up for her. She was wearing new gym clothes that she'd bought - three quarter length lycra leggings and a loose top that showed flashes of her sports bra beneath, infinitely preferable to trying to train whilst bundled up in a large coat and snow boots. When she had met him for training his eyes had roamed leisurely down her body in a way that had made her cheeks start to warm, taking in her new clothing, before nodding and commenting that she would have a greater range of movement than before.

Not exactly the response she'd been hoping for.

They started by recapping several of the things he'd taught her back at the cabin since they hadn't trained in several days, dodging and blocking strikes and breaking out of holds. They had just settled into the training session, with Katherine trying to get a hit in on Bucky while he blocked her punches and kicks, when she noticed Steve leaning against the ropes of the ring, watching them.

She hesitated, glancing at him, and Bucky took that opportunity to pounce - before she knew it, she had her arm twisted tightly behind her, with Bucky pressed against her back. "Don't get distracted," he said right into her ear, his warm breath making her shiver.

She broke out of the hold just as he'd taught her (though she knew full well that he had given it to her since he was strong enough to hold her no matter what she did) and he stepped away, indicating that he was bringing the sparring to a close.

"Not bad, you've got some good techniques," Steve said kindly from where he was watching, his shield propped against the edge of the ring.

Katherine smiled wanly as she went to pick up her water bottle, more than a little out of breath from the fight. "He goes easy on me," she said - she suspected she would now be able to defend herself fairly well against someone who was untrained, like a mugger, but knew that she would still be in trouble if she ever came up against someone from Hydra.

"And so he should," Steve said seriously. His gaze shifted to Bucky, turning thoughtful. "How would you feel about trying a few rounds, Buck? It's rare I get to spar with someone who can actually hold their own in a fight."

Bucky tilted his head, staring at Steve in silence for several seconds - Steve grinned at him and raised his hands in mock surrender. "Though if you don't think you can handle it -"

"Get up here," Bucky interrupted, jerking his chin.

Steve ducked beneath the rope, holding it high so that Katherine could leave the ring, and joined Bucky in the centre, several feet of distance between them. "I know both of us heal quickly, but let's try not to break bones," he said as Katherine settled down to watch outside the ring. "Shall we say best of three?"

Bucky nodded once, his whole demeanor tense and watchful, like a coiled spring, ready for action.

Both of them were still for several heartbeats, seemingly seizing up the other, then on some unseen signal they both burst into movement.

If ever Katherine needed proof that Bucky was indeed going easy on her - more than easy, positively treating her with kid gloves - then this was it. She'd seen him practicing sparring drills on his own when they'd been back at the cabin, but watching him fight another person was a different game entirely.

Both men punched, jabbed and kicked with lightning speed, seamlessly blending together different martial arts styles. They weren't pulling their punches either - just a few minutes in and Bucky already had a bloody lip, Steve a graze near his eye courtesy of Bucky's metal hand.

It was utterly mesmerising to watch - almost like a dance, a well-coordinated, intricate, deadly dance.

Bucky had Steve in a hold, but Steve was able to flip him with impressive strength, sending him flying across the ring; Bucky landed gracefully, catlike, using his metal arm to steady himself and there was a brief pause as both men seized each other up once more. "You fight differently without your shield," Bucky observed as they warily circled each other.

Steve paused, then looked at her. "Katherine, would you mind?" he asked politely, nodding towards the shield that he'd left at the edge of the ring.

Katherine glanced down at it, then hesitantly went to pick it up. The legendary shield was far lighter than she would have expected and the air seemed to hum over it as she passed it through the ropes to Steve.

"Here," he said simply, throwing it at full strength towards Bucky and making Katherine gasp in sudden fear.

She needn't have worried - Bucky's metal hand shot out faster than the eye could follow, catching it easily by the rim and holding it in front of him; he tilted his head in response to the attack, looking at Steve curiously.

"You used to pick it up and use it sometimes if I dropped it back in the war," Steve explained, stepping back into the centre of the ring and adopting a ready position again. "And you certainly used it against me back in DC."

"What are you saying?" Bucky asked, the shield still held out in front of him.

"I'm saying -" Steve abruptly attacked once more, sending quick punches and kicks towards Bucky that were expertly deflected by his own shield. Going on the offensive, Bucky adjusted his hold on the shield and used it to send Steve flying back through the air towards the ropes before dropping into a defensive position, the shield poised as he waited for him to regain his feet - even dressed as he was in casual clothing and bare feet, his deep scowl, long jagged hair and beard somehow made him look like a dark version of Captain America as he held the shield before him. "- that you should probably know how to use it," Steve finished wryly.

* * *

Later that night, Katherine was sat against the headboard of the huge bed she and Bucky shared, already in her new pyjamas with her laptop open and balanced on her thighs. Bucky was in the bathroom, showering before bed after his fight with Steve earlier. She heard the water go off and several minutes later he emerged from the bathroom. He was dressed in dark blue pyjama bottoms and a plain, white wife beater shirt that fully revealed his metal arm, his long hair damp from his shower.

"Are you alright?" Katherine asked, noticing how he was using his metal hand to rub his flesh shoulder, like it was paining him.

He glanced up at her as he crossed the room to collect his notebook from the sofas near the large windows. "I'm fine," he said, dismissing her concern - she noticed that he also seemed to be moving marginally slower and more carefully than usual and frowned at him suspiciously.

She put her laptop to one side and sat up straighter. "Take off your shirt," she said quietly, taking off her reading glasses; her unexpected command made Bucky pause as he approached the bed and stare at her, his expression unreadable. "Please," she added softly, tilting her head at him.

Bucky was still for a long moment, then he snorted and shook his head slightly, one corner of his mouth twitching like he was amused at being caught out. He grasped his shirt by the back of the neck and pulled it up and over his head, revealing the faint, yet distinct scale of black and blue bruises that dotted his torso after his sparring match that afternoon. "I'm sure Steve is equally black and blue," he said, a hint of wryness in his tone, tossing the shirt to the corner of the room. He shrugged, seemingly unbothered by the injuries, though once again his metal hand crept up to rub at his flesh shoulder as he rotated it in the socket. "They will have healed by morning."

Katherine got up onto her knees atop of the covers, moving forward slightly so that she was near the edge of the bed. "Come here," she ordered, beckoning him closer with a crook of her fingers; he did so, coming to stand right in front of her to look down at her with a faint look of curiosity, like he was wondering what she was doing. "Sit down."

Obligingly, he sat down on the edge of the bed with his back to her and Katherine moved so that she was right behind him, her knees on either side of his hips, noting the smooth lines of his muscular back - even his metal arm and the ridge of red scar tissue that surrounded it did nothing to detract from her appreciation of him. Slowly, she placed her hands on his back and then gently dug her thumbs into tight muscles a the base of his neck.

Bucky groaned at the first contact, a low and guttural sound that made her lower stomach flip; she paused, wanting to make sure he was alright with this. "Do you want me to stop?" she checked, her fingers lingering on his bare skin, still warm from his shower.

"Hell no," he replied instantly, closing his eyes and rolling his shoulders back to encourage her to keep going.

Suppressing a smile, Katherine spent several long minutes letting her hands roam all over his back, digging her fingers into the tense muscles to try and relieve some of the knots, her fingers squeezing, rubbing, stroking and massaging.

She was working a particularly tight knot out of his flesh shoulder when he exhaled a low, throaty breath, tilting his head back with his lips slightly parted. "Is this alright?" she checked once more, relishing the opportunity to touch him like this.

"Feels so good, sweetheart," he murmured with his eyes still closed and his voice distinctly husky; she bit her lip and wondered if he realised just how his words sounded or the effect they had on her - and she would never admit it, but she absolutely _loved_ the little endearments from the forties that he called her by.

Obviously, she could do nothing with his metal arm and shoulder, but near to where skin met metal seemed to be areas of particular tension for him.

"Does it ever hurt?" she asked a few minutes later, digging her fingers into the muscle just below where metal met flesh, thinking of how he had used his metal arm to deflect numerous punches and kicks earlier.

"Hmm?" he questioned, evidently distracted.

Katherine pressed a single, light kiss to his metal shoulder. "Your arm," she clarified, her hands lingering on his skin.

"If I damage it then the mechanisms inside short circuit," he explained calmly, unphased by her curiosity. "That can be painful but mostly…" he shrugged, " … no."

Finished, she lightly rested her hands on his shoulders and Bucky reached up to grasp her wrists with both hands, gently drawing her forwards so that her chest was pressed tightly against his back and she could feel the heat radiating from his body where they were touching. She still had her knees on either side of his hips, with her arms around his neck and her chin resting on his flesh shoulder. They stayed like that for a long moment, then Katherine turned her head slightly to nuzzle his bearded cheek. "Be honest with me, Bucky," she said softly, still concerned for how he was coping with them being in Avengers Tower. "How do you feel about us being here?"

There was silence for a long moment before he replied. "Better than before," he said eventually, his thumbs rubbing circles over the delicate bones of her wrists. "You like it here and that means a lot, but …"

"But?" she prompted when he trailed off.

"I miss the cabin," he admitted quietly, his eyes fixed ahead on the lights of New York through their large window.

She sighed and rubbed her cheek against his. "Me too," she replied, thinking back to the solitude, the easy simplicity and routine of their lives there, before the files had decrypted and Steve had come.

He turned his head towards her, keeping his firm grasp on her wrists so that she still had her arms around his neck, their faces close together. "And I miss not having to share you with others," he confessed, his blue-grey gaze roving intently over her face.

Katherine took several breaths, her gaze locked with his. "You have me all to yourself right now," she pointed out, her voice coming out slightly breathy as their noses brushed.

There was a pregnant pause, then Bucky quickly stood and turned so that he was facing her properly, towering over her. He reached out to touch her face, his fingers lingering at her cheek before trailing downwards to lightly and curiously touch her lips, his gaze fixed on her mouth.

Blinking up at him, she was acutely aware of just how suggestive their positions suddenly were - she was kneeling on the covers with her legs still slightly spread from where she'd been sat with her knees on either side of him and he was standing shirtless at the edge of the bed, his flesh hand gently touching her parted lips.

"Bucky?" she whispered, her heart racing in her chest, desperate for him to do ... _something_.

"I need to do this right," he said softly, seemingly to himself with his wintery eyes still trained on her mouth. His fingers moved beneath her chin, tilting her face further up towards him as his thumb lingered on her lower lip. After a long moment, he took a deep breath and raised his gaze to meet her eyes once more. "Tomorrow, when we get back from Brooklyn, will you have dinner with me?" he asked simply.

Katherine blinked once more. "I - of course," she said, a hint of bemusement in her voice at what she saw as a rather sudden shift in the mood.

"As a date," Bucky clarified, still staring down at her; a small frown was pulling at his mouth, like he had picked up on her confusion. "I understand that dinner is still the done thing."

She was floored, but understanding quickly followed - Bucky was from the forties, it made sense that he would want to take her out on a date before even kissing her. "A date?" she repeated, still slightly stunned by this.

Bucky's frown had deepened even further at her seemingly bewildered reaction to being asked on a date. "That is, if you want," he added, clearly worried that it wasn't what she wanted.

Wanting to be as clear as possible, she took both of her hands in his. "I would like that very much, Bucky," she said with a wide, gentle smile. "Don't feel that you have to though, I want you to be comfortable."

He shook his head slightly. "Katya, my feelings for you …" He trailed off, no doubt unsure what the proper protocol in this day and age were for expressing those types of feelings was. He stopped talking and took a deep breath to try again.

"I want to do right by you," he told her seriously, his brow distinctly furrowed. "I want to do this properly, take you out."

"When you say _out_ …" she said slowly, spotting a possible caveat in his idea and squeezing his hands to let him know that it wasn't the idea of a date that she was objecting to.

His mouth twitched, reading her thoughts in her face with ease. "Steve's helped me arrange something in the tower," he admitted, his half-smile lingering.

Katherine grinned, inordinately pleased to hear that this was something he had been thinking about and planned rather than a spur of the moment offer. "Has he now?" she said teasingly, her smile lingering. "Sounds like you've got it all in hand. I'll look forward to it."

Bucky suddenly looked worried, his frown abruptly returning. His mouth opened and closed several times as he thought what to say, his brow furrowed. " I kidnapped you," he blurted out. "I hurt you, I -"

"Bucky," she interrupted, seeing why he was worried - she knew full-well that he had a deeply rooted sense of feeling unworthy, of not deserving happiness. "I want this too," she said firmly, squeezing his hands. Rising up high on her knees, she pressed a gently kiss to his cheek, right at the corner of his mouth, and smiled at him. "Now come to bed, we've got a big day tomorrow."

* * *

 **Big day tomorrow indeed …**

 **Just as a heads up, I'm going away on holiday for 2 weeks today, a camping road trip round Wales, Devon and Cornwall with some friends, whoop whoop - but that does mean that it may well be 2 weeks until the next chapter, since I might not have wifi to upload anything.**

 **Big thank you to** _ **auntkia**_ **for betaing for me, and thank you to everyone else who offered as well!**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies!**


	18. Blessed are the pure in heart

Katherine sat on the edge of the bed as she zipped up her black boots; her eyes were on Bucky as he dressed, noting the two guns he carried, one tucked into his waistband and the other at the small of his back, plus the knives up his sleeve and in his boots. Having a similar sized frame, he'd borrowed some slightly more formal clothing than usual from Steve for their visit to the cemetery and was wearing dark grey trousers with a plain white shirt and a black tie that he had yet to don.

The top button of his shirt was undone and the collar turned up as she watched him attempt do his tie. He was visibly hesitating and frowning deeply during his first try. He tied it too long and pulled the knot free with a faint huff to try again.

Seeing his frustration, Katherine approached him and laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. "May I?" she offered with a smile, nodding towards the tie.

Bucky turned to face her, handing her the ends of the material and tilting his chin back to allow her to work, an oddly vulnerable gesture. "I'm _certain_ I once knew how to do this, but …" he said, trailing off with a faint, exasperated head shake as she knotted the material.

Finished with the tie, she fastened his button and folded down the collar, smoothing down the lines on his shirt as if this intimate, domestic act was natural for them. "There, all done" she said simply. Her hands lingered at his chest, feeling the tension he was holding, and he grasped them in both of his own, holding them to his sternum for a long moment. "Are you ready for this?" she asked quietly, gazing up at him.

"As I'll ever be," he replied, then squeezed her hands before releasing them to pick up his jacket, gloves and cap; they were somewhat incongruous with his more formal clothing, but she knew that he wouldn't be comfortable going outside without them.

Ready to go, they headed out of the room and made their way to the kitchen. They found both Steve and Tony in the kitchen, with Steve looking mildly exasperated as Tony helped himself to the large breakfast that Steve had prepared.

"Morning all," Tony said around a mouthful of toast, washing it down with a swig of coffee. "This here's Happy, he'll be your driver this morning," he added, nodding to a tall, though fairly nondescript man that she hadn't noticed straight away who was lurking quietly by the door.

They helped themselves to food and joined the others at the breakfast bar. After a minute Tony was finished with his stolen food and got to his feet, brushing toast crumbs off his no doubt expensive shirt as he did so. "Bonnie, when you get back ditch Barnes and Noble here and come up to my floor," he told her as he picked up his suit jacket from the back of a chair. "I want you to take a look over Jarvis's specs. He's such a big program that he'll be the trickiest part to make your code compatible for."

"Sure," she said, scarcely even blinking at the nickname for Steve and Bucky; Tony had lead the initial meeting with the tech team and she had started to grow used to him and his mannerisms.

"I'd also be curious to take a look at your arm at some point," Tony added, addressing Bucky. "Seems functional, but fairly vintage tech. I'm sure I'd be able to -"

"No," Bucky interrupted quickly, his flesh hand reaching over to grip the wrist of his metal arm in an unconscious, defensive gesture - Katherine couldn't blame him, after what he had endured with Hydra she doubted he would want anyone tinkering around with his arm.

Seemingly realising that his response could be interpreted as rude, Bucky grimaced and tried again. "Thank you, but no."

Tony shrugged, unphased by his refusal. "Suit yourself," he said, and with that he was gone.

Several minutes later Katherine, Bucky, Steve and Happy took the elevator all the way down to the bottom of the building, to Tony's private garage. Happy lead them to a large, sleek black car; Steve took the front seat, whereas Katherine and Bucky were in the back. Bucky held the back door open for her to climb in first, an unconscious display of old fashioned manners.

Before long they were speeding up the ramp and into the bright sunshine of New York, suddenly surrounded by honking cars, yellow taxis and pedestrians. Katherine found herself staring at all of the people - she hadn't seen this many people in weeks while they had been on the run and she couldn't deny that she was slightly unnerved by them all.

Bucky seemed equally perturbed; he had one hand resting on the gun concealed at his waistband, the other tightly gripping her own on the middle seat between them as they drove. His eyes were fixed on the city, alert and watchful for danger.

There was silence in the back seat between them, though Steve and Happy were having a quiet conversation in the front. Listening in, Katherine was amused to find that Happy was telling Steve about Downton Abbey of all things, recommending that he watch it, and Steve was adding it to a list in a small notebook that he carried in his pocket.

When they drove over the Brooklyn Bridge Steve glanced over his shoulder at Bucky, as if to see if he remembered it, but Bucky's gaze was still locked on the passing city, giving no indication that he had any memories of this place beyond what he had already told her about the Navy Yard.

Several minutes later Happy pulled up outside a medium sized, rather sad and rundown looking cemetery. They got out of the car, with Katherine wrapping her jacket slightly tighter around her for warmth in the chilly breeze. The sky had grown overcast, though the bright orb of the sun was still visible, muted behind the opaque grey clouds. A few dead leaves, remnants of autumn a few months back, blew forlornly across the grass.

Happy planned to wait by the car, and so Steve jerked his head towards one corner of the cemetery. "It's this way," he said quietly.

Katherine and Bucky followed him, still hand in hand, picking their way between the graves. Some of the graves were old and neglected, going back to the start of the Twentieth century, whereas others were new and furnished with flowers. The cemetery was nigh on deserted; the only people besides themselves that she could see was a woman kneeling down to clear old flowers off a grave and a man with a leafblower.

Steve paused and nodded towards a particular row, near the edge of the cemetery. "Your parents and Rebecca are over there," he told Bucky, his voice serious and heavy. His blue eyes looked between them and the graves and he gave them a small, tight smile. "I'll give you some privacy," he added, stepping away to approach some other graves on the other side of the cemetery - Katherine thought it might be his own parents, since he'd said that they were buried here as well.

Katherine wondered briefly if she should leave too, but Bucky's tight grip on her hand answered that question. Together, they approached the row that Steve had indicated and walked along until they found what they were looking for.

They found Bucky's parent's graves first; they were among the older of the gravestones, though there was a small, long withered bouquet of dead flowers atop of it, possibly laid there by Steve when he'd first come, possibly by Rebecca's family.

The names George Franklin Barnes and Elizabeth Rose Barnes were followed by their dates of birth and deaths. Katherine noticed that they had died within five years of each other, in the early sixties, and so would have had to endure the loss of their son during the war. The names were followed by a Bible verse: " _Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God_ , Matthew 5:8"

Rebecca's grave was next to her parents, though was far newer with a larger bunch of decaying flowers atop of it. It read _Rebecca Hope Ferguson. Beloved grandmother, mother, daughter, sister and friend_ and judging from the date of death she must have lived a long, full life.

Bucky showed no sign of speaking as he stared down at the graves before them, the corners of his mouth turned distinctly down and his brow furrowed beneath the brim of his cap.

After several long minutes of silence, Katherine squeezed his hand before releasing it; she knelt down and carefully cleared away the dead flowers from both graves, putting them to one side. "We should have thought to bring flowers," she said quietly, hoping to prompt him to speak.

There was silence and she looked over her shoulder at him, still knelt on the floor. "They wrote sister," Bucky said finally, his voice almost inaudible. He shook his head slightly, bewildered. "I'd been long gone by the time she died but they still wrote sister."

Katherine got to her feet and took Bucky's hand once more, resting her head against his upper arm and pressing herself into his side as she slipped her fingers between his own gloved ones, interlacing their hands. There was another long silence between them. "Do you want to say anything?" she eventually asked.

Bucky exhaled a long breath. "No," he said simply, shaking his head. "Even if they could hear me, I don't know what I would say."

She looked up at him, picking up on the subtle nuance in his words and body; he was holding himself with peculiar tension, his eyes narrowed down at the graves and a scowl tugging at his mouth. "Are you particularly religious, Bucky?" she asked curiously after a moment, never having contemplated it before.

Once again, he was silent for several heartbeats before he eventually spoke, looking at the graves rather than her. " _Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God_ ," he said slowly in a low voice, reading the Bible verse on his parent's grave. He finally looked at her, the resignation clear in his blue-grey eyes. "I know what you're asking and you're right," he said, squeezing her hand slightly as he returned his gaze back to the graves. "I … fear the afterlife. I can't help but feel that there must be some kind of consequences, some well-deserved punishment, for the lives I've taken."

Katherine stepped so that she was fully in front of him, taking his face in both of her hands so that he would look at her. "I don't know if there is a God, Bucky, but from what I have heard of him he is all about love and forgiveness," she said, her voice ernest, desperate for him to see even a _fraction_ of the goodness in himself that she saw in him. "If he exists then I don't believe he'd punish someone for things they did when they weren't in control of their actions."

Bucky sighed, taking her wrists in both hands to lower them from his face. "I wish I could believe that," he said heavily, holding her hands palms facing up between them and looking down, seemingly avoiding her eyes out of some misguided guilt. "But I know full well that I am damned, and being with you now is no doubt the closest to heaven that I'll ever get."

He suddenly looked at her, still holding both of her hands in his, his eyes a curious mixture of confusion and determination beneath the brim of his cap. "I still don't understand why you have stayed with me all this time, but I'm selfish enough not to question it too closely."

Her heart was racing at the subtle declaration in his words. "You don't know?" she whispered, caught in his eyes - she knew her own feelings well enough, they had been growing and growing since the cabin to the point where she couldn't imagine not being with him.

He shook his head slowly in response, his brow furrowed as he stared at her.

"Bucky," she said intently, needing him to understand; she placed one hand on his shoulder, the other in the long, jagged hair at the nape of his neck, going up on her tiptoes to bring their faces closer together. "I lo-"

 _Boom!_

Her words were cut off by the deafening sound of gunfire and, since she had gone up on her tiptoes to speak, the bullet that should have gone through his heart instead slammed into her shoulder.

Gasping and feeling like she had been winded, Katherine was vaguely aware of more gunfire bursting around them, of Bucky pushing her to the ground and covering her with his metal arm as he swiftly drew his gun and fired back, sparks flying where the bullets struck his metal arm.

Blinking through the haze of confusion, she looked down at her shoulder from where she lay on the ground - curiously, it didn't hurt that much. The whole area just felt _tight_ and hot and wet, but she could feel blood trickling down her arm and didn't doubt for one second that the pain would follow once the shock wore off.

Turning her head, she saw Steve running full tilt towards them from the other end of the cemetery. The woman who had been clearing flowers from graves was already dead, a pistol at her side, whereas the man that had been blowing leaves was crouched behind a grave, a large rifle pointed at them firing wildly - using his hand and arm to deflect bullets, Bucky raised his gun and sent a single shot towards the man, killing him with deadly accuracy.

Suddenly, Bucky's face was hovering above her, looking more frightened than she had ever seen him. "Katya," he said worriedly, turning her face so that her eyes met his. " _Katherine_ , look at me."

Finding her conscious and blinking dazedly at him, he exhaled a sharp breath of relief and took her chin between his fingers. "Eyes stay on me, doll, do you understand?" he ordered firmly and she nodded hazily, already finding it hard to keep her eyes open.

He quickly checked her over, finding no other injuries other than the bullet wound in the back of her shoulder, and tore the bottom of his shirt, wadding the material. He pressed it tightly to her shoulder and Katherine cried out sharply, closing her eyes, the tight pressure she'd felt before abruptly turning to pain before she blacked out.

When she came to the pain in her shoulder was worse than ever. She was vaguely aware of voices around her, Bucky's and Steve's, but could make little sense of what she could hear as she slowly regained consciousness.

"... Hydra, goddamn _bastards_ … Hospital … too dangerous …Must have been staking out the cemetery on the off chance that you came looking for your past."

Katherine groaned through the pain, turning her head slightly. She felt metal on her cheek, cooling her burning skin. "Come on, sweetheart, open your eyes," she heard a familiar voice entreating her from right above her.

"Bucky?" she whispered, her eyes feeling so heavy.

"I'm here, darlin', I'm here," he said reassuringly, though here was an undeniable undercurrent of fear in his voice.

With great difficulty, she managed to get her eyes open and Bucky's face swam into focus. His shirt was streaked with blood, most likely hers, and he was still holding the blood soaked material to her shoulder, applying pressure to the wound. She was vaguely aware that they were in the car once more, with her laying across the back seat with her torso in Bucky's lap and Happy driving through the city at speed, sirens on the car blazing loud and bright.

"Hurts," she whimpered, her entire shoulder feeling like it was on fire, like someone had stabbed her with a red hot poker and then just left it in her to burn.

"I know, I've got you," Bucky said, smoothing her hair back, using the phrase she'd said to him countless times before to comfort him. "You'll be alright."

Katherine felt her eyes slipping inexorably closed once again and heard Bucky snarl from above her. " Dammit, can't you go any faster?"

She swam through a haze of pain, coming in and out of consciousness for several minutes. The next thing she was aware of was Tony Stark's voice. "What the _hell_ happened?" he demanded, and Katherine was vaguely aware that she was being carried from the car in Bucky's arms.

"Hydra had staked out the cemetery. She's been shot in the shoulder." That was Steve's voice, all calm and in control in the midst of a crisis. "The bullet is still lodged in which has stopped her losing too much blood."

"I've got doctors on standby, let's get her to the med-floor," Tony said, and Katherine felt herself being carefully lowered onto a gurney that was waiting in the parking garage. An oxygen mask appeared over her face and she knew no more.

* * *

 _This is my fault_ , Bucky thought to himself, Katherine's blood drying into brown streaks on his hands and clothing as he looked at her laying so pale and still on the operating table, her eyes closed with an oxygen mask covering her face.

He, Steve and Tony were in a small room that had a window looking in on the operating theatre within Stark Tower, with Bucky alternatively pacing like a caged animal and standing still, staring through the window as if he could heal her from sheer willpower alone.

Nearly an hour in to the surgery, Tony muttered something about a lab in Korea and left the room.

Bucky and Steve were silent for nearly twenty minutes before the door to the little room opened once more and another man slipped quietly inside; he seemed fairly unthreatening, with a kind face, greying hair, glasses and a lab coat worn over a faded shirt, but something about him made Bucky's skin prickle.

"Hey," the man said quietly, his voice soft and unobtrusive.

Steve looked up from where he had been sat with his elbows resting on his knees, his hands linked and dangling between his legs as he watched the surgery. "Banner," he said by way of greeting, and then sighed slightly and waved a hand between him and Bucky. "Dr Banner, this is my friend Bucky Barnes," he said, introducing them. "Bucky, Dr Bruce Banner."

Bucky was vaguely aware of the man turning to him and half raising his hand as if to shake his in greeting, but his gaze was fixed on the scene through the window and he had no thought for niceties.

There was a long silence, then Bucky let out a string of curses in Russian and resumed his pacing - he felt utterly _useless_ in resolving a situation that he had been at fault for and now Katherine was laying on that operating table because of him.

"It's not your fault," Steve said quietly from where he sat, no doubt reading his thoughts in his face.

"You know _damn_ well that's not true," Bucky retorted, snarling the words as he paced.

"Bucky -"

Bucky slammed his metal fist into the wall at the end of the room, leaving a distinct dent in the plaster - he was vaguely aware of Dr Banner raising a mild eyebrow at this action. "Just … _don't_ ," he said wearily to Steve, feeling the weight of his responsibility - his failure to protect Katherine, his girl, his Katya, his damn _mission_ \- pressing heavily down on him.

There was another pause, then Dr Banner spoke once more. "Steve, could you give us a moment?" he said calmly. "I'd like to talk to Sergeant Barnes here."

Steve looked between the two of them, probably weighing up the risks of leaving them alone, and then got to his feet with a sigh. "I'll go get us some coffee."

Bucky stopped his pacing to stare through the window to the operating theatre once more; Banner joined him at the window, lightly resting his hands on the small ledge where the glass met the wall. "Were you the one that shot her?" he asked, his eyes on the operating table.

Bucky glared at him. "No."

"Then it's not your fault," Dr Banner replied simply.

Bucky snorted in disgust at the naivety of that statement. "It's not that simple," he said, shaking his head.

Banner turned to face him. "Steve told me about you before he even found you, asking if I'd be able to help you," he said, adjusting his glasses on his face. "Do you know why?"

Bucky glanced at the Doctor, remembering what Clint had told him about the monster that lurked inside him, remembering the videos that he had shown him on his phone (and damn, technology of this era was impressive) when they had shared some beers; it was strange to think that such a creature lived inside this unassuming man. Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose, Bucky went to sit down in the chair that Steve had just vacated, muttering something about Clint as he did so.

Banner came to join him on the chairs. "Clint spoke to you about his experience with Loki's sceptre," he said. "Do you think he is at fault for what he did?"

"... No," Bucky replied after a scant moment's hesitation, barely even needing to think about it before coming to a conclusion.

"Then why are you different?" Dr Banner asked.

Bucky snorted slightly and shook his head - having your memories erased was one thing, but alien magic that you physically couldn't resist was another matter entirely. "I read up on you. Do you want to know what I think?" Banner continued; there was a pause, then Bucky glanced at him, waiting for him to go on. "I think you are a good, honourable man who has had terrible things done to him and who has had to endure more than any man should. You enlisted to fight for this country, only to be captured and experimented on. You joined the Howling Commandos and fought Hydra for months before falling from that train. You were tortured, brainwashed, had your memory erased and reprogrammed into being the Winter Soldier." Banner took off his glasses and cleaned them on his lab coat. "How is that different to what Clint endured?"

Bucky rubbed his hand over the lower half of his face, an old memory swimming to the surface of his mind at the Doctor's words. "Actually … I think I was drafted," he said quietly.

Banner blinked at him. "Steve said -"

"I don't think he ever knew," Bucky interrupted, remembering holding the papers in his hands all those years ago; he remembered that he had hesitated against enlisting even while other men were queuing up to fight, despite a large part of him wanting to go and serve his country, knowing that they would never take Steve … but then the papers had come and he'd had no choice. "They never would have taken him as he was. I think … when I got the draft papers I pretended I'd enlisted," He shook his head slightly, remembering how he had been brazen and cocky because Steve would have _hated_ it if he had known that Bucky had been forced into something that he, himself, was so hungry to do and yet would be rejected for. "I … pretended it was my choice."

"But it wasn't," Dr Banner said softly. "You have not _chosen_ anything that happened to you since you got those draft papers in 1942."

Bucky looked over at him, his elbows resting on his knees. "How do you do it?" he asked quietly, knowing from what Clint had said that he had numerous deaths, injuries and damage on his conscious from the monster inside him.

Banner paused for a moment before speaking. "We've all got similar demons. Guilt, regret, remorse … And in the case of you, me and Clint, it's for things that we had no control over rather than our choices."

"That doesn't make it okay," Bucky pointed out, knowing that was no excuse.

"No, it doesn't, not in the slightest," Banner agreed, surprising him a little. "But recognising that you are _not_ _at fault_ for something is not the same as not taking _responsibility_ for it, for not trying to make amends where you can," he said simply. Turning to him, Banner placed a kind, friendly hand on Bucky's shoulder. "It's what you _chose_ to be, what you _chose_ to do now, that matters."

Bucky looked at Katherine, so still and pale on the operating table as Stark's doctors dug a Hydra bullet out of her body, and in that moment he made a choice.

He knew what he had to do.

* * *

Steve stood in the open doorway of the bedroom that had become Bucky and Katherine's; Bucky was stood with his back to him, packing an array of weapons and masculine clothes into two black duffle bags. Katherine's belongings were conspicuous only in that they were being left in place.

"You're leaving," Steve said simply.

Bucky paused, then resumed his packing without turning around. "Yes," he said tersely. Steve stepped into the room, moving so that he stood beside his friend; Bucky glanced at him as he checked the ammunition on a large gun. "I need to make this right," he added, his voice a quiet mutter.

"It doesn't have to be like this," Steve said, seeing why he thought he had to leave and doubting anything he could say would change his mind, but knowing that he had to try nevertheless. "If you want to fight you can join the team -"

"No," Bucky interrupted. He looked at him, his eyes clear, though old and pained. "What you do …" He shook his head sharply and resumed packing up the weapons with jerky movements. "You're a hero."

Steve didn't say anything - he wanted to tell his friend that _he_ had been a hero too, that he could be again, but he knew that Bucky saw himself as nothing but a killer, a weapon, and would not believe anything he said.

Finished with packing, Bucky slung both bags over one shoulder and turned to face Steve; his expression was dour, creases lining his forehead. "You'll look after her?" he asked quietly, a frown pulling at his mouth.

"Of course," Steve replied instantly; Bucky hesitated, then clapped a hand on his shoulder in farewell before moving past him to the door.

"But you can't leave without saying goodbye," Steve added, knowing full well how devastated Katherine would be if he did so, especially in the wake of what had happened.

Bucky paused in the doorway, not turning to face him, and let out a heavy sigh. "I know."

* * *

Katherine slowly opened her eyes, blinking against the heaviness of her eyelids. The room she was in was hazy at first, but gradually came in to focus; she was in a hospital bed, in a small, private room that she assumed was within the tower based on the fragments of memories she had before blacking out.

Bucky was stood at the window with his back to her, looking out over the city; he was no longer wearing the blood-streaked, semi-formal clothing he'd donned to go to the cemetery, but rather a pair of black jeans and the same inconspicuous, dark blue jacket he'd first worn when she'd seen him at the Smithsonian.

"Hey," she said quietly to catch his attention, her voice coming out faint and raspy.

He turned to look at her and then quickly crossed the room to sit in the chair beside her bed, gently taking her hand in his, being careful of the cannula injected there that was hooked up to an IV bag above her. "How do you feel?" he asked softly, his gaze moving over her face.

"Don't feel much, actually," she admitted hazily - her shoulder ached fiercely, but the rest of her body just felt heavy, numb and prickly. "Kinda fuzzy."

"That'll be the morphine," Bucky said simply, his eyes glancing at the IV bag as he rubbed his thumb in soothing circles on the back of her hand.

Katherine tried to sit up, only to grimace in pain; seeing this, Bucky automatically moved to assist her. With consummate care, he helped her move so that she was propped up against the pillows. "What happened?" she wanted to know, suspecting she already knew the answer from her snippets of memory but hoping he would fill in any blanks.

Bucky took a deep breath, his eyes lowered. "You were shot," he told her plainly, his voice rasping over the words. "Hydra had staked out the cemetery on the off chance that I appeared there looking for my past. That bullet was meant for me." He shook his head, his expression anguished. "I thought …" He couldn't finish that sentence; instead he raised her hand, closed his eyes, and pressed a harsh, needy kiss to her palm.

"Hey," she said as he kept his mouth pressed to her skin, like it was a lifeline he desperately needed. "I'm fine."

He huffed out a breath and released her hand, getting to his feet. "Hardly that," he muttered, glancing again at all the hospital equipment that she was hooked up to.

In him standing up, her gaze was drawn to the two black duffle bags that were stowed inconspicuously by the window, bags that she recognised as being the ones he'd taken from the Hydra safe house back in New York. She frowned at them, not understanding why they were there. "You packed?"

Bucky glanced at the bags, pausing in the circuit he'd been doing of the room, like he was pacing. "Yes."

Katherine turned her gaze to him, blinking at him in confusion. "Where are we going?"

He exhaled a breath, standing in the centre of the room and avoiding her gaze. " _We_ aren't going anywhere."

He was leaving, she realised suddenly, he was leaving _her_.

"Bucky …" she said, her voice croaky with sudden fear.

"You're staying." Bucky crossed the room once more and sat on the edge of the bed, finally meeting her eyes, taking her hand gently once more. "You _fit_ here, Katya. You've got a job, your code …" He looked down and shook his head with a deep sigh. "And as long as I'm around you're in danger."

"What are you saying?" she whispered, not understanding what this meant for them.

"I told you that my mission was to find out who I am and to keep you safe," Bucky said, sounding like he had been thinking hard about this. "I don't know if I'll ever regain all my memories, but I do know who I am - Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky, The Winter Soldier, Hydra's asset … I'm all of them together."

"You're taking down Hydra," she said quietly - it was not a question, she knew full well that he was conflicted with the desire for vengeance and the wish for a peaceful life.

It seemed that his need for vengeance was now winning over anything else.

"I'm making a _choice_ ," he told her seriously, his words holding a curious gravity. "It's not quite atonement, this is too vengeful for that … But it's the only way we can be safe," he squeezed her hand slightly, his words reassuring her that she was still involved in whatever future plans he may have once this mission was complete. "They made me and now they have to face the consequences."

She took a breath. "Steve -"

"No," he interrupted her, shaking his head. "Steve goes in guns blazing, taking down bases with righteous fury." He grimaced, his expression pained. "There's …there's nothing righteous about what I have planned," he admitted wretchedly, as if he was horrified by the prospect, the words were being torn from him. "It will be cold blooded, brutal vengeance, plain and simple."

"I'll come with you," she whispered, knowing that he would never let her and fighting the tears that were welling in her eyes.

With his flesh hand holding hers, Bucky raised his metal hand to brush the backs of his cool fingers against her cheek as he shook his head once more. "This is a side of me I never want you to see, doll."

Katherine gasped slightly and closed her eyes as a sob overwhelmed her, feeling tears trickling down her cheeks. "I don't want you to go," she admitted - he had become such an important part of her life in such a short time, and she didn't even want to imagine how it would be without him.

The metal hand cupped her cheek properly, his thumb wiping away the tears. "I'm doing this for us, so that we can be safe," he told her quietly, intently and she opened her eyes once more. He tilted her face up to him, his gaze fixed on hers - there was a curious vulnerability in his face, like he still wasn't sure how she felt. "So that we can have a life ... together."

"I know, I know," she said, trying not to cry as she turned her head to press a desperate kiss to his metal palm, wondering if this was what countless women had endured when they'd sent their lovers off to war; Bucky exhaled a breath at the contact and drew her closer, their foreheads pressed against each other. "I'm sorry," she added in a shaky voice, keeping her forehead pressed to his, knowing that her crying was not helping the situation. "I understand, I do."

There was a long, intimate silence between them as they sat like that, savouring these last moment's of each others presence, then Bucky drew back ever so slightly. "Here," he said softly as he removed his military dog tags, the ones from World War Two that Steve had found for him. He gave them to her, placing them gently over her head and settling them around her neck. His hands lingered on the chain, on the skin of her collarbone, his eyes fixed on the tags that now sat between her breasts over her hospital gown.

He eventually raised his gaze to hers and their eyes held for a long moment, scant inches separating them. Slowly, purposefully, with his fingers still lightly touching her neck, he leaned forwards and placed a single, lingering kiss to the very corner of her mouth - a kiss goodbye.

Katherine closed her eyes to stop the tears from falling once again. Not wanting to let him go, her hands came up to lightly grasp his shoulders, steadfastly ignoring the dull flare of pain as she did so.

He too seemed unwilling to pull back - she could feel the scratch of his beard and the scorching heat of his breath as his mouth grazed her cheek with feather-lightness, while the feel of his fingers gently touching her neck, turning her face to his, sent shivers down her spine.

"Katya … he breathed as he lingered before her, their noses brushing and their mouths barely a hairsbreadth apart.

"Please," she whispered, _needing_ to feel him before he left but not wanting to push him into anything he was uncomfortable with. The movement of her mouth caused her lower lip to just graze his and he audibly caught his breath at that faintest of touches. " _Please_ Bucky."

He visibly hesitated for a moment, then his flesh hand moved carefully to her hair. He leant forwards, closing the distance between them to press his mouth gently to hers for the very first time, and Katherine thought that her heart might just stop.

He kissed her with agonising slowness and care, as if she were made of glass, no doubt being cautious not to hurt her. His touch was tentative and chaste, his mouth barely moving, and she could feel the trembling tension within him as he held himself back. Taking the lead, Katherine parted her lips ever so slightly and Bucky groaned into her mouth as she deepened the kiss, the sound having a visceral response in her body if the wildly beeping machines monitoring her heart rate were any indication.

At first his uncertainty and insecurity had been clear as he relearned all of this for the first time, but after several long moments his metal hand had joined the other in her hair to better angle her face for him to kiss her with growing hunger - she tightened her grip on his shoulders in response and surged up to meet him, returning the kiss with equal fervour and clinging to him like he was the only solid thing in the suddenly dizzying world.

Katherine felt the pillows against her back as he pressed her carefully down - only for a dull ache to quickly flare in her shoulder as she inadvertently pulled at the stitches.

She gasped in pain into his mouth, tensing up, and he abruptly froze, pulling back. Opening her eyes, she found herself staring up into his own horrified ones, the fear that he'd hurt her and subsequent remorse evident. "I'm sorry," he said quickly, getting up and backing away from her. "I'm so sorry."

Her breathing shaky from both the kiss and the pain, she extended a hand towards him. "Bucky -"

He shook his head sharply and took another step back. He picked up the bags at his feet and jammed his cap on his head, pulling it down low over his eyes in a defensive move.

He stood still, staring at the door of the room for several long seconds, then his eyes eventually moved back to hers, finding her watching him. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came; he looked guiltily down at the floor and shook his head again, letting out a deep, shuddering breath.

Trying to hold back tears once more, she watched with a vicious lump in her throat as he lingered in the centre of the small room with both bags slung over one shoulder and his eyes trained downwards, seemingly steeling himself to leave.

"Bucky," she whispered, not wanting to leave things like this, and after a long moment he raised his gaze once more, looking first at the door again for a long moment and then at her.

Slowly, cautiously, he approached the bed once more, though purposefully stayed out of reach. His wintery eyes were roving over her face, like he was doing his best to memorise it, and the knuckles of his flesh hand were white as they gripped the handle of the bag.

"Bucky," she breathed up at him once more, knowing that this was it, that he was leaving - she lost her fight against crying, feeling even more tears trickling down her cheeks.

His metal hand cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing away the tears once again, and he leant down to press a quick kiss against the centre of her forehead. "Прощай, Katya," he breathed against her skin, lingering for just a second - and then he was gone, tearing himself away and vanishing out of the door without a single backwards glance.

Left alone, Katherine took several deep breaths through the tears, staring up at the ceiling as the dull pain in her shoulder and the ache in her heart competed against each other for which hurt the most. Allowing the tears to come, she curled up on her side, her aching body protesting the movement, and gripped the dog tags in her hand. Holding the only link she now had to Bucky, she simply cried herself into an exhausted sleep once more.

* * *

Tony sat in the chair beside the hospital bed, his feet up on the beds rails and his head resting in one hand as he gazed out at the lights of the city. He had about a thousand other things that he could be doing, and yet he found himself by Katherine Summer's bedside despite her being asleep.

She had surprised him, that much was certain - her computer code, incomplete and unpolished as it was, was truly a thing of beauty in just how damn _vicious_ it was and yet she had a certain innocence about her, a bright smile and a cheerful disposition. She had a raw talent in computing that was in need of honing if she was to go further within his company and he found himself contemplating the role of mentor. He was a dab hand in computing himself, but it wasn't his primary focus what with Iron Man and the Avengers and he needed someone he could trust to do the stuff he was too busy to do.

The revelation of Hydra's infiltration to the highest level of government had shaken him, not to mention the numerous Hydra agents he had subsequently rooted out within his own company - you could never quite know who to trust, especially with information as sensitive and valuable as the Avengers initiative, and so Katherine Summers, who was a friend of Cap's, seemed a sensible choice to him.

Besides, he wouldn't deny that he was growing fond of her despite having known her less than a week - which was why it sucked to see her in a hospital bed.

She shifted and groaned slightly, opening her eyes. She blinked at him and he noticed that her eyes were red from crying.

Tony grinned at her, keeping his feet up on the bed. "Good morning, sunshine! Or should I say goodnight?" He checked his watch, finding it to be nearly one o'clock in the morning. "No, it's after midnight." He gave her another winning smile. "Good morning, sunshine!"

"Is he gone?" Katherine asked, her voice rusty from crying; he watched her hand creeping up to touch something at her neck - it was a set of old, military dog tags and he could guess easily enough who had given them to her.

Tony allowed his smile to drop, recognising that she was in no mood to be cheered up. "Yeah, he's gone," he said quietly, watching as she nodded and blinked several times, like she was fighting back tears once more. He looked at her for a long moment, noting her pale skin and the sunken shadows around her eyes. "Not gonna lie - you look like shit, kiddo," he told her bluntly.

Katherine struggled to sit up, grimacing in pain. "Don't sugar coat it, Tony," she muttered back, pressing her lips tightly together as she sat back against the pillows. A small, satisfied smile quirked his mouth - he'd joined the initial meeting of the team to discuss her code and had had to fight to get her to call him by name instead of Mr Stark.

"I won't," he said, and then tilted his head at her. "I've called in a doctor from Korea to come take a look at you. She specialises in genetics and cell biology, mostly tissue regeneration. It's an experimental treatment, but I've heard good things and she should be able to leave you with nary a scar," he told her; Dr Helen Cho had been someone that he'd been meaning to check out, someone whose research could be invaluable in the event of serious injury to the team.

"Okay," Katherine said simply, staring up at the ceiling once more, not much interested in hearing about Dr Cho at the moment - her hand was on her chest, wrapped around the dog tags like they were a lifeline.

Tony frowned at her - sure, no one would look their best after being shot, having several hours of surgery and being sat on a hospital bed hooked up to a bag of drugs, but she looked so _defeated_. "You alright, Bonnie?"

"Yeah, I just …" She looked at him, took a deep breath and gave him a very weak smile, her hand tightening on the dog tags. "... I was supposed to have a date tonight."

* * *

 **Sorry for the long delay in updating, hopefully shouldn't be that long between updates again since life will be getting more back to normal come September!**

 **I also want to say that Bucky and Katherine are the focus of this story so don't worry - I won't be writing chapters and chapters where they don't even meet.**

 **As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts on where you think this is going or what might happen, it often helps shape my ideas.**

 **Big thank you to _auntkia_ for betaing for me again!**

 **Leave a review, my darlings :)**


	19. Cherished posessions

Katherine was pacing around the Stark Industries tech offices, anxious and excited all at the same time. She diligently checked and rechecked each individual screen as she passed them to make sure nothing was amiss, much to the amusement of the team around her. This was it, D-Day, the day that they would bring down the old firewall and launch her completed code, shielding Stark Industries from cyber attacks, and she was positively itching to get started.

" _Miss Summers, Mr Stark's meeting is overrunning and so he has asked that you set up the initial systems ready for his arrival_ ," Jarvis's smooth voice announced from the ceiling.

"On it, thanks Jarvis," Katherine said, relieved to be doing _something_ instead of just pacing and rechecking work that had been checked a thousand times already.

" _Also, I have managed to get in touch with Mr Harris and he is amenable to your proposal_ ," Jarvis added as she sat down at one of the screens and got started with the initial set up, her fingers moving at rapid-fire pace over the keyboard. " _Would you like to go ahead with the purchase_?"

"Yes, set it up," she replied absently without looking up from the screen, too busy to really think about her intended purchase right now. "Tell him I'll give him a call to sort details."

Half an hour later everything was completely ready to go and they were just waiting on Tony for the final launch; Katherine had one hand clutching the dog tags (which had become her most cherished possession and she had yet to remove since Bucky had slipped them over her head) at her chest for comfort while they waited, chewing on her lip as she stared at the screens.

"Kat, relax. We're ready," Alex, one of the technicians in her team, said soothingly, with the other's all nodding their agreement. "It's going to be great."

Katherine gave them a plastic smile to hide her nerves - they didn't really need to be here since all of the hard work had been done and there wasn't anything left to do, but all of them had shown up to watch the launch and show their support, which she very much appreciated. "Right, thanks guys."

A few minutes later Tony came striding into the tech office wearing a finely tailored suit that had the tie loosened and the first few buttons of the shirt undone. "How are we doing?" he asked, coming to stand next to Katherine.

"Just waiting on your security clearance and then we are ready to go," Katherine reported, feeling her heart rate start to build in anticipation.

Tony typed something quickly into the computer, did a full scan of his palmprint and lowered his tinted glasses to do a retinal scan to provide the necessary clearance before stepping to one side and waving a hand towards the keyboard. "Well, Bonnie, this is your big moment," he said with his trademark sideways smirk, letting her do the final launch of the code; Katherine grinned at him in appreciation and sat down, her excitement now palpable. "Light it up."

"Main systems come online now, firewall coming down …" Katherine said, typing into the keyboard. She paused and exhaled a breath with puffed out cheeks before determinedly pressing the enter key one last time, launching the code. "... And we are a-go."

The transfer was utterly seamless, the new cyber security taking over smoothly and instantly, with all areas covered and levels holding steady across the entire system - if anything, the whole thing was almost anticlimactic given how many months of work had gone into it.

"Right, done," Tony said, clapping his hands once in satisfaction. "Let's go get a drink."

Beep ... Beep ... _Beep_.

They all turned to stare at the large holo-screen that dominated the centre of the room, which was currently flashing red with the beeping machines. "Aha, looks like some fish are already caught in the net," Robin, a fellow cyber security engineer on the team, said with a wide grin, sitting down at one of the stations. "I'm not surprised, these will be some poor sods who had a BFC program set up to try and break through the firewall."

A pointless endeavor on the hackers part - Tony's old firewall had been nigh on impenetrable, with an access code that changed every two minutes; it had been a highly effective shield, but the new code was designed to track and attack hostile malwares rather than just deflecting them.

"Well, let's see who we've got," Tony said with a feral grin of his own, gesturing for the specs to be brought up on the holo-screen.

A translucent world map filled the screen, with over two dozen red dots flashing across the globe - DC, New York, Shanghai, London, Dubai, North Korea, Pakistan, Moscow, Iraq and Damascus, to name but a few locations.

Wordlessly, Tony focused the map on to the flashing dot over DC, zooming in until the distinctive shape of the Pentagon, the headquarters of the United States Department of Defense, filled the screen.

"Holy shit …" Katherine said quietly, staring with wide eyes at the screen. She couldn't believe what she was seeing, that the US government would have been trying to hack into Stark Industries. "Why would -"

"With the Avengers, Iron Man and the Arc Reactor, Stark Industries is one of the most attemptedly hacked companies in the world," Tony said simply, staring at the screen with a small frown of his own. "Everyone from governments, to terrorists, to arms dealers wants a piece."

"No, but -" Katherine said, starting to panic as the implications of the hacking attempts and the newly implemented code sunk in. "The new code is designed so that any data that leaves the system wipes itself out along with _anything_ around it, so did we just -"

"Destabilize several government systems and piss off some terrorists?" Tony finished for her, before nodding and answering his own question. "Yes, we did."

There was a long silence, with the entire team staring at the large holo-screen as they contemplated the ramifications of the new cyber security, only to be broken by Jarvis's voice. " _Sir, the Secretary of Defense is on the line for you_ ," the AI's voice said smoothly from the ceiling.

Tony snorted slightly, evidently highly amused despite the seriousness of the situation. "Put him on hold, I'll take the call in my office." He made to leave the tech office, pausing only to clap Katherine familiarly on the shoulder as he passed her. "Well done," he said in a low, genuinely earnest voice, and then he was gone, leaving her still staring at the screen in shock.

* * *

" _Stark Industries made global news this week with its new cyber security measures, launching a program that attacks hackers with their own malware_ ," the beautiful, blonde news reporter announced into the camera. " _Several governments are calling on Stark Industries to be accountable for damage to their own systems, but Tony Stark released this statement to the press_."

The television screen was filled with Tony's face, a slightly blurry, motion-filled shot clearly taken on a handheld camera as he walked through the press to his car after having done some damage control on Capitol Hill. " _If they hadn't been trying to illegally hack into my system in the first place then they wouldn't have been poked with a sharp stick_ ," Tony said, a frown affixed to his face. He whipped off his glasses and stared directly into the camera. " _It's really very simple - don't touch my stuff."_

The shot returned to the blonde woman in the studio once more, with a small photo of Katherine, clearly taken from her Facebook profile, filling the top left-hand corner. " _Computer programmer and PhD student Katherine Summers has been identified as the creator of the code, which she started writing for her PhD and sold to Stark Industries_ ," the woman announced. " _It is rumoured that the soon-to-be Dr Summers has been approached by Sony, Amazon and Google to_ -"

Katherine sighed and muted the TV, staring at the picture of herself on the screen. "So much for keeping a low profile," she said quietly with her elbows braced on her knees and her hands dangling between her legs, the television remote held loosely in her fingers.

"Can't put the lid back on that box," Steve said, coming to join her on the sofa and frowning slightly at the muted television.

Katherine gave him a wan smile. Steve had become a very good friend and she owed him so much. When Bucky had first left she had assumed that she would have to find her own place to rent once she had recovered; she'd said as much to Tony and Steve whilst still in the hospital bed, telling them that she'd be out of the tower just as soon as she was able, but they had absolutely refused to listen to her - Tony had said that there were plenty of small apartments within Stark Tower that she was welcome to use, but Steve put his foot down and insisted that she stay on his floor, telling her that Bucky had specifically requested that he keep an eye on her for him. They'd been living together for a couple of months now and got along well.

She returned her gaze to the muted television. " But with Hydra -"

"Right, that's it," Steve said abruptly with the air of someone who had come to the end of their patience, making her jump slightly as she looked at him once more, surprised by his sudden change in tone. "Look, I know that what happened in Brooklyn scared you, and rightly so, but …" He briefly pressed his lips together, tilting his head slightly at her like he had been thinking of saying this for some time. "I really don't think you're in as much danger as you think you are."

Katherine stared at him in askance. "I got _shot_ , Steve," she reminded him pointedly.

"And you've been holed up here ever since, working on finishing that code and writing your dissertation for _weeks_ now," he argued back. He softened his voice slightly. "Have you even left the tower in all that time?"

She avoided his eyes, picking at the material on the arm of the sofa. "I just don't think it's safe," she said, knowing full well that her fear was probably not healthy. "After we got caught on camera at that gas station Hydra found us within half an hour."

"And it was Bucky that they were looking for," Steve pointed out; Katherine frowned at him and he continued. "I have no doubt that you would have been of interest to Hydra, mostly because you were travelling with Bucky, but with you very obviously being _here_ -" he nodded to the TV screen, which was still showing her picture "- and Bucky out destroying safe houses left, right and centre … I don't think you're a priority for them," he finished, making some logical points.

Katherine sighed and looked down into her lap, her hand creeping up to touch the dog tags through her shirt as she thought of Bucky.

It had been nearly three months now since he had left and there had been absolutely no word from him. They were assuming that he was somewhere in Europe since every few weeks news of another destroyed safe house reached them. Some of the safe houses were decimated, completely destroyed with everyone within killed, whereas others were taken and left with the Hydra agents trussed up like macabre presents to be tried and imprisoned by the countries authorities.

Not an hour went by when she didn't think of him and she wondered if he was thinking of her at all.

"Come on," Steve said suddenly, his voice cutting through her musings as he got to his feet. "There is a great little cafe that I know right on the edge of Central Park."

She looked up at him from the sofa, her eyes wide. "But …"

"I'll be with you the whole time," Steve said reassuringly, holding out his hand, his tone indicating that he would not be swayed on this. "Sure, you need to take reasonable precautions when you go out, having an escort, but you can't live in fear."

She hesitated for a moment, then took a deep breath and allowed Steve to pull her to her feet.

Half an hour later the two of them were sat on a bench in Central Park, take away cups in their hands. The sun was warm and bright, casting dappled yellow light through the trees and on to the wide path that cut through the park. The air was filled with the sound of conversation, children playing and birds and there was a distinct smell of freshly cut grass wafting on the breeze.

Katherine tilted her head back, allowing the sun to warm her face. "Thank you," she said quietly to Steve, feeling more rejuvenated from the fresh air and May sunshine than she would have expected. "I needed this." She laughed slightly to herself and grinned at him, feeling almost giddy. "I didn't even know how much I needed it until right now."

"You're welcome," Steve said in a satisfied voice. He took a sip from his frozen coffee and looked around the park, taking in all of the people relaxing or walking in the sunshine. "You know, summer was always Bucky's favourite season." He turned and shot a small smile at her, quirking his mouth. "Which is why I find it absolutely mind-boggling that he became known as the _Winter_ Soldier".

"It was?" Katherine asked, sitting so that she was cross-legged on the bench and looking at Steve - he often told her stories about him and Bucky in the past and she lived for each little glimpse into what Bucky's life had been like.

"I remember we used to lay out on the fire escape of his building with our shirt sleeves rolled up when it got too hot, more often than not he would just sleep in the sun while I sketched the city," Steve told her, then grinned once more. "And I remember the summer of '39 he took a different girl to Coney Island each Saturday."

Katherine laughed happily - strange as it was, it made her inordinately happy to think of Bucky as a smooth, charming ladies' man of the forties, confident with a girl on his arm or dancing the night away. Some might have been jealous, in fact Steve had asked her once if she minded hearing stories of the numerous double dates that Bucky had dragged him on, but she found the idea of being jealous of girls who were probably in their nineties (if they were still alive at all) utterly ridiculous and simply enjoyed hearing all that there was to know about Bucky before the war.

Her laughter faded and she sighed, her heart heavy despite the brightness of the day. "I miss him," she said, her voice soft and wistful.

Steve gave her a small, consoling smile, well understanding what she was feeling. "Me too," he agreed quietly.

* * *

Bucky kept his head down as he walked through the dingy, grey streets of Birmingham. He had his shoulders hunched and his gloved hands jammed into the pockets of his jacket, the collar turned up and his cap pulled down low against the rain of an English summer storm. Cars were honking their horns in a traffic jam a few streets over and the air was full of the heavy scent of the rain hitting the hot concrete.

Glancing up from beneath the brim of his cap, a flash of colour among the pounding rain and grey cityscape caught his eye; it was a magazine stand on a street corner and one particular cover, half hidden among the others, jumped out at him.

He quickly crossed the street, his hand on the gun in his pocket, and approached the magazine stand, half convinced that his mind was playing tricks on him. Standing beneath the awning that protected the magazines from the rain, he grasped the magazine that had caught his attention in his gloved hands, pulling it free to look down at it.

' _Code it be love?'_

The bright headline of the gossip magazine was splashed above a picture of Katherine and Steve on the front cover, sat in what he recognised as Central Park. They had takeaway coffee cups in their hands and were smiling at each other. His gaze was fixed on Katherine, the first time he'd laid eyes on her in any form in months - her dark hair was longer than he remembered, shining in the sunlight, and she was wearing a summer dress, the dog tags he'd given her clearly visible against the floral material. She was sat cross legged on the bench and looking happy and relaxed beside Steve.

After staring at her picture for several long seconds his eyes were drawn down to the byline of the magazine cover, beneath the picture.

' _Captain America's new love interest!'_

* * *

Natasha allowed a small, satisfied smile to twitch at her mouth as the elevator opened onto the training floor of Avengers Tower, quietly pleased to be back. She had been away for several months establishing new covers and she was now ready to rejoin the team in wiping out Hydra. She was eager to get started - she felt that in joining SHIELD she had simply traded the KGB for Hydra, not going straight as she'd imagined, and was looking forward to repaying them for tricking her and making her do their dirty work.

She paused as she sauntered through the training area, noticing a young woman at the punching bag. Natasha recognised her instantly from the news - she was the mind behind the new cyber security that now protected Stark Industries, not to mention a good friend of Steve's and, if the rumours were to be believed, the lover of the Winter Soldier after he'd kidnapped her following the events in DC.

She could scarce credit the rumours (though Clint insisted that he'd had the story from Barnes himself) knowing what she knew of the Winter Soldier. She hadn't known who he was at the time, but she had actually trained under James Barnes in the Red Room. He had been a cold and brutal teacher, breaking bones in their lessons without so much as a blink of his curiously blank eyes. He had never once asked or answered personal questions, or even spoke aside to give orders or criticism for that matter. He had been completely detached and dispassionate and Natasha could not imagine him being with a woman at all, let alone one as petite and innocent looking as the woman before her.

"I've heard of you," Natasha said, catching the girl's attention and scrutinising her reaction; she paused in her punches and pushed her sweaty hair out of her eyes with difficulty as she looked up, her hands encased in small boxing gloves - she was pretty enough and clever too, if Tony was to be believed. "You're Barnes' girl."

The woman, Katherine Summers, exhaled a shaky breath at that, her eyes wide at the insinuation. "You could say that," she said noncommittally, briefly pressing her lips together at the mention of her lover's name, slightly out of breath from her workout

She watched as Katherine tossed another half-hearted punch towards the bag and Natasha noticed that she had a way of tilting her wrist slightly that was familiar - it was exactly the way that she threw a punch, Steve as well for that matter.

"He was training you," Natasha observed, hiding her surprise and finding the notion rather surreal despite the evidence being before her - she strongly suspected that the young woman's' training under Barnes would have been absolutely nothing like her own, someone as breakable looking as her would not have survived him otherwise.

Katherine glanced up at her once again. "That's possibly overstating things," she said as a demurral, clearly not completely comfortable talking to someone she didn't know. Natasha took the opportunity to continue to scrutinize her - long dark hair that was pulled back into a high ponytail, pale skin that looked like it didn't see enough sun and the hint of shadows under her eyes that spoke of sleepless nights. "He was more just … making sure that I wasn't _completely_ useless when it came to defending myself."

Natasha nodded slowly, coming to the conclusion that Katherine Summers might just be worth her time, if the reports from Clint, Tony and Steve were all to be believed. "Well, if you ever need someone to spar with …" she said as she moved past her towards the shooting range, leaving the offer hanging in the air behind her.

She was acutely aware of Katherine staring at her back with wide, bug eyes at the prospect of training with her and allowed another small smile to quirk her lips as she walked.

* * *

"Steve!" Katherine called as she jogged through the tower, trying to catch him before he left for his next mission.

Steve turned to look at her, already fully dressed in his Captain America uniform with his shield on his back. He smiled widely. " _Doctor_ Summers," he said playfully, placing particular emphasis on her new title and making her grin in turn - it had been several weeks since her code had gone live across Stark Industries and she had since finished her dissertation and received her PhD, with her work being published in several prestigious academic journals. "What can I do for you?"

"I've had an idea," she told him, bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet. "I've been thinking about the facial recognition software that Hydra uses - which has pretty much been the reason I've barely left the tower - and I wanted to see if there is anything I can do to circumvent it."

"Sounds like a good plan," Steve agreed. "What do you need from me?"

"I need you to steal some Hydra tech for me to examine, preferably a laptop, but a phone might do in a pinch," she requested, knowing that she would need to get an up-close and personal view of their systems if she was to succeed in this particular endeavour.

Steve nodded. "I'll see what I can do," he promised before heading off.

Several hours later he returned to the floor that they shared, finding Katherine on the sofa with her computer and several papers spread on the coffee table around her, working on some preliminary ideas for helping Tony with his new Iron Legion protocol. She looked up and took off her reading glasses as he came in. "Any luck?" she asked hopefully.

Steve grimaced and handed her a laptop. "I'm not sure how useful that will be," he told her regretfully as she opened it and turned it on. "When they see us coming they press a button and then everything's gone," he said, reminding her of why they were finding it so hard to mop up Hydra - Steve felt like they were being fed small fish rather than the big ones but without any data from bases that they took they were left in the dark.

"I'll see what I can salvage," Katherine said with a sinking heart, doubting that there would be anything of worth left on the laptop but willing to try nevertheless. She smiled at Steve. "Thanks anyway," she added, not wanting to appear ungrateful.

"I'll try again on the next mission," he said resignedly, then seemingly roused himself from whatever train of thought had taken him and cast her a small smile. "I'm going to go shower. Want to pick a movie and we'll order in tonight?" he suggested, since Katherine had 'taken up the good fight,' as Tony put it, and was continuing Steve's reintroduction to the Twenty-first century.

"Sounds good, I'll just clear up here," Katherine said, nodding down to the two computers and piles of paper; Steve nodded and vanished into his bedroom.

Katherine sighed and played with the dog tags around her neck - she enjoyed living with Steve, she really did, but every time they did or watched something that was new to him after being frozen she couldn't help but think of Bucky, to wonder what he would think of it or if he would enjoy it.

She missed him so much it physically hurt.

* * *

Bucky crept through an old Hydra base within the Bulgarian mountains, a gun poised and ready in his hands. The corridors were dark and deserted; the bunker was hardly manned, but he had reason to suspect that one of the lieutenants within the base might just know the location of General Vasily Karpov, his old handler in Siberia.

Red lights suddenly flashed as an alarm rang out through the base.

Startled, he put his back to the corridor wall and raised the gun to scout the area - he was confused, not thinking that he had done anything to trigger an alarm, but then heard noises ahead.

Jogging on silent feet towards the doorway at the end of the corridor, he cautiously looked inside with his gun ready - only to see an instantly recognisable figure in a familiar blue uniform.

Steve's shield smashed into one of the guards in the room, knocking him out and clattering to the floor well out of his reach. Bursting in, Bucky swiftly picked up the shield and tossed it back to Steve. He caught it with wide, surprised eyes before giving him a swift nod of acknowledgement and using the shield to deflect bullets from another guard.

What followed were several long moments of fighting, with Steve occasionally tossing the shield to him in a seamless dance, until they were eventually both pinned down behind one of the consoles. Three of the Hydra guards remained, but they had a machine gun that they were currently emptying into the console that he and Steve hid behind.

"Didn't expect to see you here," Steve said as bullets rained around them.

"Likewise," Bucky replied, pulling the pin on a grenade and tossing it over the console with his metal hand.

The bullets continued for several seconds, then an explosion rung out across the room, the heat searing their faces, and all fell silent.

Cautiously getting to their feet, Bucky and Steve both scanned the room, finding it all clear. Bucky used his foot to turn over one of the bodies, finding the lieutenant he'd been hoping to question dead and staring up at him with glassy, empty eyes.

He sighed slightly, knowing he'd have to find another way to get to Karpov. The abandoned base where he had been kept in Siberia may well hold leads, but he desperately didn't want to go back there unless there was no other choice - truly, he did not think he would be able to take it.

"Dammit," Steve said from the other side of the room, examining the scorched and bullet ridden console that held all of their tech.

"What?" Bucky questioned, staring at him.

Steve looked up at him. "Katherine was hoping for some Hydra tech to study, before they erase the data," he told him, the sound of Katherine's name making Bucky's heart leap in his chest. "She wants it to figure out a way to combat the facial recognition software that's keeping you both pinned."

Bucky suppressed a small grin. That was his girl - as clever as she was pretty - and if she needed some Hydra technology to study then that was easily achieved when you didn't go in heavy and conspicuous like Steve did.

Some time later, once the base was cleared, Steve followed him to the motorbike that he'd hidden some miles away. The mountains were still and quiet, though there was a distinct light to the North where Steve's team had fired up the jet, ready to go.

Katherine seemed to be an unspoken thing between them; aside from mentioning the Hydra tech she needed, Steve didn't bring her up and Bucky wasn't sure what to say. Instead he simply listened as Steve spoke of their missions while they walked, telling him of an alien sceptre of all things that had been misplaced from a SHIELD facility called the STATION after the events at Triskellion, asking him to keep his ear to the ground about anything regarding it or Baron Strucker.

"You could come back with us, you know," Steve said as Bucky straddled the bike and kicked the stand back into place, ready to leave. Steve hesitated, then added softly, "I know Katherine misses you."

"I'm not done yet," he said, his voice a low rasp - with the combined efforts of him and Steve's team, Hydra was gradually being run ragged, but they still weren't finished by any means. "Tell Katya …"

 _That he missed her so much that it physically hurt, that he thought of her every day, that he could scarcely sleep without her beside him, that he was so damn proud of what she had done with her code._

He turned the light at the front of the bike on and kicked the engine into life. "Tell her I'll see her soon," he said simply, unable to articulate all that he felt, and with that he roared off into the darkness, leaving Steve alone in the forest.

Several hours later he was back in a small, abandoned building in Sofia, having established safe houses for himself in many of the capital cities across Europe. This particular room wasn't much to look at - a single, stained mattress with a sleeping bag on the floor and lit with a camping lantern - but at least the small, cracked sink in the corner had running water.

Bucky washed the blood off his hands and lay down on his back, fully clothed on the bare mattress. He took a colourful, though slightly tattered photograph from within the inner pocket of his jacket and unfolded it, holding it up to the light of the lantern even though he already knew every single detail of the picture.

It was the photograph of Katherine and Steve that he'd torn from the magazine back in England several weeks ago, showing the two of them happy and smiling together in Central Park.

The article itself had been pure, artificial nonsense that he had instantly dismissed. In fact, the foundation behind the rumour had been almost entirely based on the fact that Katherine had been wearing WWII dog tags in the picture, but they didn't know that they were _his_ and not Steve's - he'd felt a fierce rush of satisfaction and pleasure - even possessiveness - to see her wearing them, even months after he had gone.

His satisfaction had turned to pride as he'd turned to the article and read all of her accomplishments - how she had made global news with her computer code and sold it to several other companies, being named one of Forbes 30 under 30 to watch within their Enterprise Technology category.

That was _his_ girl - brilliant, bright and so very clever.

The rest of the article speculating about Katherine and Steve may have been drivel, but the picture itself had been worth keeping - it was the only thing he had of both Katherine and Steve, his girl and his best friend, and as such it had quickly become his most prized possession.

The photograph was now fragile, holding deep creases from where it had been folded and unfolded so many times, but he still took it out to look at it without fail every night.

It was his reminder of why he was doing this.

* * *

Katherine was sat at one of the consoles in Avengers Tower working on the Iron Legion protocols when a white-haired old mail man wearing sunglasses and a blue cap tottered up to her with a large package in his hands. "Are you … Katya _Simmers_?" he asked, squinting down at address.

Her head jerked up at that instantly familiar nickname despite the mispronunciation of her surname, staring at the man. "Y-yes, I'm Katya," she said, her heart suddenly beating fast and her eyes wide at the implications of receiving a package with that particular name.

The man handed her the package and she stared down at it for several seconds. It was wrapped up in brown paper, the words _Katya Summers, Avengers Tower, New York_ , though no street name or postcode, were scrawled in black pen across the top in spikey, slightly italic letters.

She tore back the paper with trembling hands, revealing a box within. Opening the box, she found a sleek, black laptop with the grotesque Hydra skull emblazoned on the top and a small, folded piece of paper as well.

 _Steve said you needed this, B._

It was a simple note, unemotional and detached, but Katherine closed her eyes in gratitude at this small sign that he was still alive and briefly pressed her lips to it in a kiss, savouring it as another link to the man she loved.

Moving quickly, she pried open the laptop and removed the motherboard, plugging it into the system. The screen filled with flashing green numbers as she accessed the data streams, indicating that the data hadn't been deep-sixed yet, and linked to the facial recognition software with ease.

"Thank you, Bucky," she murmured softly, staring up at the screen.

* * *

"You know I mentioned that software worm a few weeks ago?" Katherine asked as she and Steve cooked in the kitchen of his floor.

"Hmm?" Steve said, distracted by tasting the sauce they were making.

"You know, the one to circumvent Hydra's facial recognition software," she replied, sounding highly excited - she'd been working nonstop on this particular project for nearly a month since Bucky had send her a Hydra laptop. "I've managed to make it work. It doesn't _erase_ us exactly, but it tricks the system so that when there is a hit it just reloops the algorithm without tripping an alert," she told him, a wide, proud smile on her face.

"That's good," Steve said as he moved around the kitchen, not completely understanding the technical language that she occasionally spouted. Katherine had gotten more confident with leaving the tower recently, always having to be escorted in case Hydra did try anything, but he could only imagine how chaffing that must be for her.

"There's just one thing …" she said slowly, her tone making him look up and frown at her in anticipation for what she was about to say. "I need to input it directly into a Hydra system, specifically a master console."

His frown instantly deepened. "The laptop Bucky sent you -"

Katherine shook her head. "That laptop was great because they hadn't deep-sixed the data on it, but it's still not connected to the system anymore, let alone a control panel," she said earnestly, entreating him with her eyes.

Steve shook his head, knowing what she was asking. "No."

"If I'm to activate this software worm it means being at a master console, before the alarms go off," she argued, tilting her head beseechingly.

"I am _not_ taking you to a Hydra base and that is final," Steve said firmly, laying down the law. "Bucky would kill me."

Katherine pulled a face, grimacing at him. "I've … kinda already asked Tony and he says I can come," she told him, making Steve raise his eyes to the heavens and throw up his hands in frustration. "Natasha thinks it's a good idea too."

Outflanked by his own teammates, Steve closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dammit," he cursed, knowing full well that he would not be able to maneuver around the entire team and would be outvoted on this. "Bucky is _actually_ going to kill me."

* * *

 **So, can anyone guess what Katherine is buying?**

 **Also, out of curiosity, what are people hoping for in the reunion between Katherine and Bucky?**

 **Big thank you to** _ **auntkia**_ **for betaing :)**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies!**


	20. The line

Natasha frowned as she glanced around the control room of the Hydra base in the Slovakian mountains that they had infiltrated, hoping that the Hydra soldiers that she had taken out and tied up didn't regain consciousness while Katherine Summers typed quickly into the master console

After nearly two weeks of preparation and planning, she and Katherine had snuck into the Hydra base with the rest of the team ready to take the base once the software worm Katherine had designed had been implanted.

As of yet, the base was unaware that their control room had been taken, but Natasha estimated they had less than four minutes before they were discovered.

Making use of the time, Natasha had plugged a USB into another console and scouted around for as much Hydra information that she could get her hands on.

"Right, done," Katherine said with a note of satisfaction in her voice and making Natasha look up.

Her job on this mission was to keep Katherine (who was largely untrained and completely untested in the field) safe, help her implant the software worm and then get her out as quickly as she could; knowing that their time was up and deciding to leave sooner rather than later to be on the safe side, she pulled the USB free and got to her feet, jerking her head towards the door. "Let's go," she said briskly.

"Wait …" Katherine said slowly, still staring at the master console screen, resuming her typing with rapid-fire speed once more. "There's subsections of the mainframe here that are hidden and encrypted."

Natasha frowned, not having spotted that when she'd looked at the system. "Can you access them?"

"Hold on …" Katherine said, still typing with her attention focused on the screen.

A progress bar appeared and Natasha quickly plugged the USB back into the console once more, hiding how impressed she was.

She was good when it came to computers, Katherine Summers was far better.

The progress bar was nearly completed when a noise in the corridor had Natasha turning swiftly and raising her gun to point it at the main doorway.

Katherine looked up fearfully. "Is it the others?" she asked, referring to the rest of the team who were standing by to take the base.

Natasha didn't reply; the noise that had initially caught her attention was replaced by the sound of footsteps in the corridor - only to then be cut off with a faint shout and the sound of a body hitting the floor. "Get down," she ordered Katherine, gratified that the younger woman immediately followed her order and crouched down out of sight behind the master console.

Natasha kept her gun trained on the main door, knowing that whoever or whatever had just attacked the Hydra soldiers would now be coming their way, but also curious as to what ally would be attacking a Hydra base; as a spy and assassin, there had been many instances in her life when she had lived by the mantra 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend.'

The tip of an assault rifle appeared in the doorway, followed by a familiar metal arm. Knowing that he would not hesitate to shoot her if he perceived her to be a threat, Natasha had her gun raised and her other empty hand up in the universal sign of 'don't shoot' by the time he entered the room half a second later.

James Barnes, the Winter Soldier and her former teacher from the Red Room, kept his gun trained right on the centre of her forehead while his glacial eyes narrowed suspiciously at her, no doubt trying to ascertain if she was a danger to him.

"Teacher," Natasha said in Russian, affording him the respect of the title she had called him when she had studied under him in the Red Room and hoping that the language may help him to remember her, as he hadn't appeared to in DC. "Do you know me?"

There was a pause.

"Natalia," Barnes replied in the blank, dangerous voice that she remembered well from her training. "You may have fought with Steve, but I remember you from the Red Room," he replied in Russian, referring to their interactions in DC. Barnes raised the gun minutely not trusting her given her past, and clicked off the safety. "Give me a reason why I should not shoot you where you stand."

There was a faint noise from behind her and Natasha realised that Katherine had stood up from where she had hidden behind the console. "Bucky?" she said softly, gazing at her lover with wide eyes.

Barnes' gaze shifted to Katherine; Natasha had initially doubted that her former teacher was capable of emotion when Clint had first told her the rumours, but seeing how his lips parted at the sight of Katherine and how his expression visibly softened convinced her that Clint had indeed been right.

 _Damn_ , that meant she owed him a beer since they'd made a bet of it.

"Katya …" Barnes breathed as he stared at her in turn, a tumult of hitherto unheard emotions evident in his previously blank voice even whilst his gun never wavered from Natasha's forehead.

There was a brief, uneasy silence between the three of them for several seconds, then alarms loudly rang out in the base around them.

* * *

"Дайте мне повод, почему я не должен стрелять в вас, где вы стоите."

Katherine's head jerked up sharply from where she crouched behind the console; even though he was speaking in Russian, she would know that faintly rasping voice anywhere.

Scrambling to her feet, she straightened up and stared at him.

Bucky was dressed in dark tactical gear that reminded her of the news footage she had seen of him back in DC before they had met, nothing like the faded jeans and flannel shirts she had grown accustomed to seeing him in. The metal of his hand reflected the faint light from the console from where it was wrapped around a large rifle, which was trained on Natasha, and he had another gun and knife holstered on his belt.

He looked dark and dangerous, all lethal and predatory grace.

"Bucky?" she said quietly, her heart in her throat.

The gun covering Natasha didn't move at all, though his gaze swung to her and his eyes widened minutely. "Katya ... " he murmured, seemingly drinking her in.

There was silence for several heartbeats, then alarms sounded around them.

Natasha burst into movement. "We have to go," she said, quickly typing on the keyboard and then seizing the USB stick before the data was erased.

Heavy footsteps sounded outside the main door and, to her surprise, Katherine suddenly found herself shoved towards Bucky by Natasha. "Get her out of here, I'll deal with this," she said, firing up the widow-bites on her wrists.

Still eyeing Natasha suspiciously, Bucky nodded swiftly instead of arguing and grabbed Katherine's upper arm in an iron grip, propelling her out of the smaller side door of the control room.

Intent on her safety, he practically dragged her through the dark corridors of the base, lit only by the flashing red lights of the alarms. "Bucky -" she started to say, but he gestured sharply for her to be silent and she bit her lip in response.

He abruptly halted and stared ahead towards the end of the corridor, his eyes narrowing. Listening, she heard the sound of footsteps ahead, at least three men approaching.

Bucky pushed her into a small alcove in the corridor to shield her, his body pressing her against the wall to keep her from sight.

Despite the danger, Katherine couldn't help but simply gaze up at him; he smelt faintly of sweat and smoke and his jaw was tightly clenched beneath his beard. He briefly looked down and met her gaze, then turned his head and stared out at the small section of the corridor that they could see from the alcove.

Her breath caught as three Hydra soldiers jogged past their alcove and Bucky burst into movement.

Gunfire exploded around them and one man quickly fell. Advancing on a second soldier, Bucky deflected bullets with his metal arm and then engaged the man in a hand to hand fight, lifting him bodily from the floor by the neck with his metal hand.

Seeing the third man raise his gun to fire on Bucky, Katherine stepped out of the alcove without thinking.

Just as Natasha had taught her, she seized the man's wrist and twisted, using his momentum to twist his arm and send the gun clattering to the floor. Quickly recovering from the surprise attack, the Hydra soldier straightened up, only to find Katherine's fist slamming into his nose, breaking it.

He staggered backwards, right into Bucky, who had just dispatched the second soldier. - Bucky seized the man by the neck and twisted sharply; a distinct crack filled the air and the soldier collapsed lifeless to the floor.

Katherine and Bucky stared at each other from across the corridor, with Katherine's breathing coming quickly from both the adrenalin and exertion of the brief fight, whilst her knuckles stung fiercely from the punch she'd thrown.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at her, his gaze dark, stormy and unreadable as he seemingly realised that she might have just saved his life - then he simply stepped over one of the bodies and stalked towards her.

Unsure of both his mood and motive, Katherine instinctively took a fearful step back as he closed the distance between them, but it was no use. He wrapped his flesh arm around her waist, dragging her bodily against him and, without warning, swooped down to claim her mouth.

Surprised, Katherine swayed on her feet and clung desperately to Bucky's shoulders to steady herself, the alarms of the base ringing in her ears as she kissed him back with equal fervour. She was aware of his flesh arm tightening painfully around her waist, holding her possessively with the large gun held down by his side in his metal hand.

It was nothing like their last kiss - while their first and last kiss whilst she had lain in a hospital bed had been gentle and tentative, in contrast this was aggressive, selfish and dominant.

Still clinging to him, she whimpered desperately into his mouth and he abruptly pulled back, leaving her stumbling in the middle of the corridor in the Hydra base.

"I'm sorry," Bucky said raggedly, taking another step back away from her. He shook his head, the long, jagged strands of his hair whipping his cheeks, his eyes still dark with desire and his breaths coming quickly. "I'm not … in control."

Katherine shook her head, her heart racing in her chest. "I don't care," she said breathily, stepping towards him and wanting nothing more than to just kiss him again despite the alarms and red lights that were still flashing around them.

She rested her hands back on his shoulders and rose onto her tiptoes to try and kiss him once more, but he stopped her, covering her hands with his own and removing them from his shoulders. "What are you _doing_ here, Katya?" he asked softly, entreatingly. He squeezed her hands gently in his own as he stared down at her with wide eyes, as if he still couldn't believe she was actually there. "It's not safe for you."

Steve's voice suddenly appeared in her ear with a faint crackle, cutting through the alarms and making her jump. "Katherine, status report," he said urgently, the sound of gunfire distinct in the background on his end.

Katherine sucked in a breath and raised her hand to the comm-device. "Steve -"

Frustrated, Bucky seized the cord impatiently and pulled it from her ear, tossing it away down the corridor.

Katherine gaped at him in shock.

"I _said_ , what are you doing here?" he repeated, his voice turning undeniably stern since she hadn't answered him.

Before she could reply, they heard the sound of more footsteps running towards them and both of them briefly turned to glance up the corridor.

With no time to wait for a response, Bucky simply seized her arm in an iron grip once more and set off at a dead run down the maze of corridors and rooms, dragging her along with him.

They burst out of a side door of the base and Bucky propelled her towards the tree line, with her gasping for breath at the brutal pace he was setting. Once they were within the trees he thankfully slowed to a jog, seemingly recognising that she was struggling to keep up.

After a minute or two of jogging they reached a motorbike that had been stowed among the trees. Bucky pushed her towards it and she quickly scrambled to straddle the bike. Before she could decide if she should move to the back or the front, he swung his leg over to sit behind her, settling with her firmly between his thighs and his arms caged protectively around her.

The headlamp at the front flicked on and the bike roared to life. Bucky expertly weaved his way between the trees, with Katherine clinging fearfully to the front of the bike, never having been on one before, let alone without a helmet.

They emerged from the trees and onto the dirt road of the Hydra base. More gunfire blasted around them as a jeep also pulled onto the road and started to follow them at speed, sending the dust of the road puffing up when the bullets struck it. Katherine gave a startled scream as Bucky weaved the bike over the road, using his arm to shield her, sparks flying where bullets struck the metal.

"Take the controls!" Bucky shouted in her ear and immediately let go of the bike, twisting around to aim his weapon back at their attackers as he did so - Katherine squeaked and lurched forward to grip the handlebars, jerking the bike to the side slightly as she did so.

She couldn't see what Bucky was doing, but all of a sudden an explosion rang out, the heat scorching her face, briefly blinding her. She felt Bucky's hands covering hers on the handlebars, gently correcting her jerky steering as he took control once more, and they sped off into the darkness.

They drove for over an hour, eventually reaching the poor industrial outskirts of a city that she assumed was Bratislava based on how far they had come from the base. It was the early hours of the morning and most of the streets were largely deserted, lit by flickering orange streetlights.

Bucky eventually pulled up in a dark, narrow alleyway between two buildings that looked like they might be residential, parking the bike beneath a rusting fire escape. He swung his leg to get off the bike and then automatically held a hand out to Katherine to assist her in dismounting; she couldn't help but notice that his expression was blank and controlled, always a dangerous sign in his volatile moods.

Katherine opened her mouth to ask a question, but Bucky silently held a finger up to his lips, indicating that she should be quiet. He gestured towards the fire escape, jerking his head to tell her to follow, and then lead the way up. She followed him, gingerly climbing the rusting stairs, until he reached a cracked window four floors up. He pushed it open and climbed through, once again offering his hand to help her.

She found herself in a small, dark, dingy room and looked around while Bucky closed the window behind her, pulling the tattered curtain across. A small camping lantern illuminated the space. There was a single bed in one corner with an old, tattered mattress on a rickety looking frame - no sheets or pillow, just a thin sleeping bag folded at the end. There was little other furniture in the small room, just a dirty kitchenette with cracked tiles and two doors, one which she assumed led to a bathroom and the other to the main corridor of this sad, dilapidated apartment building.

 _Was this really how Bucky had been living for the past few months?_ she wondered, looking sadly around the room.

Finished with securing the room, Bucky turned to face her. He looked gaunt and haunted, dark shadows under his eyes indicating weeks of sleepless nights. The dark tactical clothing only accentuated the breadth of his shoulders; the weapons about his person made him look grim and dangerous, reminding her of when they had first met and the footage she'd seen of him on the news.

Katherine took a hesitant step towards him, wondering if he was going to push her away again as he had in the Hydra base. When he didn't move, simply staring at her with inscrutable eyes, she took another cautious step forward, then another - only to then lose her composure and dash towards him.

She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, burying her head into his chest, the smell of sweat, smoke and metal filling her nose.

His arms came up to wrap around her in turn, his metal hand cupping the back of her head and his flesh arm tight around her lower back, holding her to him. She felt him turn his head to bury his nose in her hair as they swayed on their feet, savouring the other's presence, neither of them wanting to let go.

After a long moment, Bucky eventually drew back ever so slightly, his hands coming up to cup her face to look at her. "Are you alright?" he asked quietly, his gaze travelling over her face.

"Yes," she breathed, her own hands coming up to grip his wrists. She closed her eyes, revelling in his proximity, in his hands on her face, the heat of his breath on her lips, as her heart stuttered and raced in her chest. "Yes, I'm alright."

"Thank God," he sighed, his mouth grazing reverently over her temple, her closed eyelids, her cheeks. "When I saw you there tonight …"

He trailed off and she could feel the stubble of his beard scratching against her skin. Her breath caught as his mouth hovered above hers. "I missed you," he murmured, their lips a scant hairsbreadth apart. "All these months … I've missed you so much, Katya."

She parted her lips, the movement making her mouth just brush against his.

"If you'd _missed me_ you could have said a word in _all those months_."

The words were out of her mouth before she could even think about them and she immediately wished that she could stuff them back in when Bucky jerked sharply back, staring at her with wide, shocked eyes.

His eyes then narrowed, turning distinctly flinty. "That would have been difficult considering we were four thousand miles apart," he said, his voice growing cold as he lowered his hands from her face.

Katherine briefly piched the bridge of her nose. "It's the twenty-first century, Bucky," she said wearily, committed now to what she had said. "You could have called - or written."

"I did write," he shot back, still frowning down at her with distinct lines now marring his brow.

"One line!" she said, throwing her hands up in frustration. " _One line_ was all I had to know you were even alive!"

Bucky didn't reply, simply staring at her in bewilderment as if he was trying to make out why she was upset.

Katherine sighed deeply once more, kicking herself for having ruined the moment between them. She'd thought for so long about what she would do when she saw him again, somehow she hadn't imagined telling him off.

She turned and took a few steps away from him, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she did so and noticing that she already had four missed calls from Steve.

"What are you doing?" Bucky asked quietly, coming around to face her as she unlocked her phone, his footsteps silent on the wooden floor.

"Calling Steve," she replied without looking at him, her fingers tapping on the screen of her phone. "He's going to be frantic with worry."

Without warning, Bucky grabbed the phone from her hand, making her jerk her head up in shock to look at him as he tossed it carelessly on to the bed behind him.

"I don't really care what Steve thinks right now," he said, his voice now dangerously controlled as opposed to cold. "In fact, I very much want to know _why_ he allowed you into a Hydra base and what _you_ were doing there in the first place."

Surprised, and not a little annoyed with him for throwing her phone like that, Katherine parted her lips and made to move passed him to retrieve the phone. "You can't just -"

Bucky seized her wrist in an iron grip as she brushed by him, not allowing her to move further; their bodies were close together and she stared up into his face noting the heavy lines on his brow and around his mouth.

"I want answers," he said in a stern tone that brooked no refusal.

She hesitated and he glared down at her.

" _Now_ , Katya," he added firmly.

Katherine took a deep breath, then another, sensing that she needed to tread carefully despite her lingering (and, in her eyes, perfectly justified) annoyance. "I was there on a mission," she said simply, truthfully, not feeling in the mood to elaborate any further than that.

He exhaled an explosive breath at that, shaking his head slightly. "How could you do something so stupid, Katya?" he asked, the frustration clear in his voice. "It was far too dangerous for you to have been there tonight," he added softly, staring down at her with his brow deeply furrowed; his grip on her wrist shifted so that he was holding her hand instead, raising it up to inspect it and gently brushing his thumb over the scraped skin of her knuckles from where she had punched the Hydra soldier.

Irked (partly because she knew he was right in that the mission _had_ been dangerous, partly because in that moment she didn't appreciate his high handed protectiveness or how he had just called her weeks of work on the software worm to clear both of their faces stupid) she shook loose of his hold - she knew that he could have easily kept his grip, but he released her nevertheless.

"I can take care of myself, you know," she said with somewhat false bravado, making to step around him to reach for her phone again.

There was a pause for half a heartbeat, then suddenly she found herself pushed back against a wall.

Bucky caged her in with his hands braced on either side of her head, his body scant inches from hers.

"Is that so?" he breathed, evidently having taken her words as a challenge of some sort. His eyes lowered to fix on her lips in a way that made the direction of his thoughts clear and had her lower stomach tightening in anticipation for what he might do.

He put his mouth to her ear and whispered dangerously, his breath scorching her neck., "You know, I'm tempted to make you prove that, doll."

Katherine shoved him hard in the chest in response and he took a single, small step back, looking down at her with a faint frown.

"Don't give me that," she said firmly, glaring at him despite her racing heart and the warm flush that was spreading over her entire body at his heated words. "Do you have _any_ idea how I am furious with you?" she demanded, determinedly raising her chin and staring him down.

Bucky simply blinked at her and tilted his head ever so slightly, evidently confused at her outburst.

"You _left_ ," she told him, feeling all of the turbulent emotions from the past few months coming bubbling to the surface now that he was here before her again. "I was _hurt_ and you left me … We barely even _talked_ about it, Bucky," she continued, pouring her heart out to him as she threw her hands in the air in frustration. "I understand why you felt like you had to go, but it was just you … _presenting_ me with your decision and I had no say in the matter."

"Katya -" he said, but she interrupted him.

"No, I need to say all this so you're going to stand there and let me finish," she insisted firmly, feeling as if a dam had broken and now all of the anxiety and fear she'd felt since he'd left was coming flooding out.

Obligingly, Bucky nodded once and straightened up to listen with a serious expression on his face; his hands were no longer on the wall, caging her in, rather he held them by his side like he was standing to attention.

"I've been worried _sick_ about you the past few weeks," she continued, poking a finger in the centre of his chest. "I could barely sleep, I hardly ate … Would it have killed you to have sent a letter, or even called? But no, barely a word - a single, _one line_ note a few weeks ago was all I had to tell me that you were still alive."

Bucky was staring down at her, his wintery eyes roving over her face, and she found the anger that had been bubbling up inside her slowly draining away once more in the wake of his gaze and the distinctly upset frown that was tugging the corners of his mouth downwards.

"So now you don't get to go all - all _caveman_ and _protective_ and …and …" Katherine sighed deeply, the finger poking him turning to her hand resting gently over his heart. "God, I've missed you so much, Bucky," she finished, her voice breaking ever so slightly as she gazed up at him.

Slowly, cautiously, like he wasn't sure how the movement would be received after she had pushed him away before, he raised his hands to her face once more, the very tips of his fingers lightly touching her cheeks.

His own anger seemed to have burned out with her tirade and his eyes were gentle instead of the mixture of anger and stormy desire she'd seen in them earlier. "I've missed you too, Katya," he repeated quietly, his voice soft and earnest, his chest still brushing hers from how close he was standing.

Katherine briefly bit her lip, her chest tight with a tumult of emotions - then, after a moment's hesitation, she decided to completely give up on telling him off.

Instead, she went up on to her tiptoes once more to press her mouth to his.

Unlike back at the Hydra base, he did not push her away, rather the fingertips on her face turned to hands fully cupping her cheeks, tilting her chin up to better kiss her back in turn. There was neither tentative caution nor dominance in this kiss, but rather his mouth was gentle and yet persistent on hers, giving and taking equally.

This time there was no interruptions and neither of them drew back, so she was at leisure to kiss him as she hadn't before, savouring the feeling of his mouth moving with hers. She could feel the scratch of his beard against her skin, not to mention the contrast of his flesh and metal hands on her cheeks.

With her hands gripping his broad shoulders to steady herself, she could feel the trembling tension in his body, like he was holding himself back. Katherine parted her lips to deepen the kiss, letting her tongue dart out to touch his lower lip.

Bucky groaned low in his throat in response, a sound that shot straight to her lower stomach. With his metal hand tight in her hair, he tilted her head to the side to better claim her mouth.

Emboldened, Katherine took his lower lip between her teeth and that movement had Bucky exploding into action - she suddenly felt the wall at her back as he pressed himself fully against her, his bulk positively dwarfing her smaller frame, and he deepened the kiss further, plundering her mouth with bruising force.

Lost in the kiss, she allowed her hands to drift down his torso, feeling the buckles on his clothing. Her hands settled on his belt, clutching it to pull him even closer against her.

Bucky pulled back a scant inch, his mouth still brushing hers as he spoke hoarsely, his breaths coming quickly.

"You're right, darlin', I should have -" he cut himself off as he kissed her again for another long moment, seemingly unable to draw back from her mouth for long. "I don't know, wrote or called. I just -"

Another desperate kiss, one that tore a faint moan from Katherine's mouth as her lower stomach clenched and her heart raced.

"It was easier to detach myself, to throw myself into the mission," he continued between kisses, his metal hand still tight in her hair. He drew back and stared at her for a long moment, taking in her parted, swollen lips and panting breaths with what appeared to be reverence, his eyes dark with desire. "It was just so hard not to be with you."

He pressed her inexorably back against the wall as his mouth claimed hers once more for a long moment, only to pull back again with a distinct frown furrowing his brow. "And knowing that I'd put you in danger, that you got hurt because of me -"

Growing tired of his talking, Katherine interrupted.

"Bucky ..." she said breathlessly, her hands moving to undo the zip of her jacket, revealing the shirt she wore beneath. "Shut up."

He stared at her with parted lips and wide, incredulous eyes, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing, as he watched her unzip the jacket and shrugged it from her shoulders.

The moment her jacket hit the floor he was on her again, kissing her with renewed fervour.

Katherine gasped into his mouth as she suddenly felt two rough hands on the back of her thighs - clearly growing impatient with the height difference between them, Bucky had bent down and simply picked her up with impressive ease and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist.

Her eyes closed and lost in the kiss, she was only vaguely aware of them moving, of Bucky carrying her across the room. She felt the mattress beneath her as she was lowered down on her back on the bed. Bucky settled above her, supporting his weight off her with his arms while his long, jaggedly cut hair fell like a curtain around her face as they kissed. With her legs still around his waist, he was wedged solidly between her thighs and she could feel his distinct hardness pressing against her between her legs in a way that made her feel positively dizzy with desire.

Her hands scrabbled over the buckles on his torso, frantically pulling them free and pushing the jacket down his shoulders. He helped her, their kiss turning clumsy as he carelessly tossed the jacket to one side. Instead of kissing her again, he lowered his mouth to her neck, making Katherine arch against him in response as he nipped and sucked the sensitive skin of her throat.

She slipped her fingers beneath the undershirt that he'd worn beneath the jacket, drawing them up the hard, warm planes of his abdomen and pulling the material up as she did so. He released her neck for a moment to allow her to pull the shirt up and over his head, then returned to the particularly sensitive spot that he had discovered just beneath her ear, one that made her whimper and gasp as his teeth scraped the skin.

After a moment he paused, still poised atop of her and between her legs, clearly slightly unsure of the situation. "Katya," he said, his breathing coming heavily. "I don't …"

Recognising the uncertainty in his voice, Katherine pushed lightly at his shoulders. Following her movements, Bucky allowed her to reverse their positions, moving so that she was above him, perched on his hips, and he lay flat on the bare, tattered mattress. He gazed up at her, his hands resting hesitantly at her waist now that they were no longer being used to brace his weight above her.

Holding his gaze, Katherine took the lead. She unconsciously bit her lip and slowly started to unbutton her shirt, revealing glimpses of the plain black, serviceable bra she wore beneath; Bucky exhaled a shaky breath, his eyes never once wavering from hers.

"You're allowed to look," she said quietly as she allowed the shirt to slip down her arms; her voice was somewhat huskier than usual, dropping to a whisper. "You're allowed to touch."

Bucky's eyes drifted slowly downwards, settling on the dog tags that hung between her breasts. Reaching out, the fingers of his flesh hand traced the chain at her throat, following it down over the swell of her breasts to lightly touch the metal tags.

He sat up abruptly, the movement making Katherine shift ever so slightly down his body so that she could feel his hardness pressing distinctly between her legs once more. Their breath mingled for a moment as his hands moved over her back, then he kissed her again.

Her fingers were gripping tightly on his shoulders, the contrast of cool metal and warm skin evident beneath her fingers. Bucky's metal hand lingered on her lower back, keeping her arched against him while his flesh hand roamed as they kissed - he touched her waist, her stomach, the straps of her bra, and then cautiously brushed his thumb over one nipple through the material.

Reaching back, Katherine undid her bra without breaking the kiss.

Her exposed nipples pebbled in the chilled air of the room and Bucky drew back to look at her, his glassy-eyed gaze roving hungrily over her entire body atop of him - if she had ever wondered whether he was capable of feeling desire after what Hydra had done to him, this look was enough to convince her otherwise.

"So beautiful," he murmured, fully cupping one breast in his flesh hand and rolling her nipple between his finger and thumb in a way that made her whimper and rock against him. "So damn lovely."

Emboldened by her reaction, he bent her body slightly backwards so that he could lower his mouth to her other breast; Katherine's hands were tight in his long hair as he sucked hard on her other nipple whilst continuing to toy with the other with his fingers.

Overwhelmed with the sensations, she pulled him roughly back up to kiss her, her hands in his hair and her mouth desperate and needy on his.

"Bucky," she moaned practically into his mouth, her hands still tight in his hair. She rocked against him, feeling how hard he was between her legs, and he groaned in turn at the movement. "Bucky, please."

He drew back ever so slightly and glanced around the safe house in a dazed manner, looking as if he had been struck by something heavy to the back of the head. "You deserve better than this," he said quietly, his brow furrowing into a deep frown.

"I don't care," Katherine said earnestly, breathlessly, trying to kiss him again.

He didn't let her, stopping her with his flesh hand tenderly cupping her cheek. "I do," he said quietly, intently. He then pushed her hair back from her face and leant forward to press a single, gentle kiss to her mouth, one that was light and chaste, letting her know that this was not a rejection. "Not here ... not like this, sweetheart," he insisted in a low murmur.

Katherine groaned slightly and looked around the room in turn, taking in the bare, tattered single mattress that they were on, the cracked and drafty windows, the dilapidated kitchen and the cheap camping lantern that acted as a light for the room since the bare bulb in the ceiling had been smashed some time ago.

"You're right," she agreed, seeing his point perfectly clearly but also feeling an acute sense of frustration; she dropped her head to rest her forehead on his bare shoulder and sighed, her breath shaky. "You're right."

After a long moment of silence and stillness, Bucky exhaled a long breath and both of his hands smoothed their way lightly down the bare skin of her back, the contrast between his hands evident as their naked chests pressed together, with warmth emanating from his body.

Katherine raised her head to look at him once more in response to the touch, finding his eyes intent on her.

Their gazes locked and held - and that somehow felt far more intimate than the kiss they had just shared.

After a long moment, Bucky leant forward to kiss her once more, his mouth soft and gentle on hers. "Having you here is more than enough," he breathed against her lips, moving to kiss her neck once more - he was not trying to incite passion again, brushing the sensitive skin of her throat with feather-lightness, but rather seemed to be revelling in simply being able to touch her.

Katherine closed her eyes and tilted her head back, savouring the feeling of his mouth on her skin and the faint scratch of his beard; none of her previous partners had been bearded and she found the rough scratch on her skin particularly arousing.

With his breath scorching her collarbone, Bucky's hands moved back up her spine, only to pause at her shoulder. His fingers moved over the place where her bullet wound had been; finding nothing, he drew back to look at her curiously with a faint crease between his brows.

"Tony got a Doctor from Korea over after what happened in Brooklyn," Katherine explained, preempting his question. "She works in cellular regeneration, left me with barely a scar."

Bucky hummed slightly and returned his attention to her neck, his hands travelled back down the bare skin of her back until they were sat low on her hips, where the bare skin of her torso met the waistband of the trousers she was still wearing.

Katherine made a quiet, breathy noise as his mouth grazed over a particularly sensitive spot just below her ear and couldn't help but rock against his hardness once more.

His hands tightened on her hips to stop her moving and he let out a faint chuckle into her ear. "You're not making this easy for me, darlin'," he admonished her wryly, a distinct Brooklyn drawl breaking through in his voice.

"Likewise," Katherine replied, letting out a shaky breath as she gripped his bare shoulders, the metal of his left shoulder hard and unyielding beneath her fingers.

Bucky sighed and drew back to look at her; his metal hand came up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear, lingering on her cheek. "I should take you back," he said reluctantly, sounding like he didn't particularly want to.

She bit her lip, glancing at her phone which was on the bed beside them.

"Steve's going to be worried sick," she said guiltily knowing that her friend - their friend - would be anxious over not having heard from her.

Bucky scowled at that, his brow furrowing deeply at the mention of his friend's name. "Steve is going to get the beating of a lifetime - which is saying a lot, considering what he was like when he was smaller - for allowing you within fifty miles of a Hydra base," he said sternly, sounding highly displeased once more.

"It's not his fault," Katherine protested, thinking of how reluctant Steve had been and how she had out-maneuvered him by going straight to Tony.

Bucky raised an incredulous brow at her, clearly questioning how this could be. "If you want to blame someone, blame Tony or Natasha - or _me_ , even, it was my idea," she added, willing to take the fall for the team.

He grumbled slightly in response, but seemed to let it go for now. "You never did tell me exactly what you were doing there," he pointed out, referring to their argument earlier.

Katherine gave him a small smile from where she was still sat atop of him. "I was embedding a software worm to clear both of our faces from their system," she explained in a rather satisfied tone. "Whenever either of us get caught on camera their algorithm will just loop back, without ever triggering an alert."

Bucky shook his head slightly and reverently touched her cheek with the back of his fingers. "You really are brilliant," he said softly.

He leant forwards to give her another light, lingering kiss and then drew back; he then picked up her phone from where he had thrown it on the bed and handed it to her with a faint sigh.

She took the phone from him, noting that she now had seven missed calls from Steve and one from Tony, and picked up his undershirt to hold it to her bare chest for modesty whilst she made the call.

Steve answered after only one ring. "Katherine?" he said urgently, sounding worried.

"It's me," she confirmed, making no motion to move from her position atop of Bucky as she spoke.

"Thank God," Steve said in obvious relief. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she confirmed as Bucky gently pulled her hair over one shoulder and resumed pressing light, grazing kisses to her bare skin, making her shiver involuntarily - she frowned slightly at him, distracted from the conversation. "Bucky was there, he got me out."

"Natasha said she saw him, but didn't know where you'd gone," Steve explained.

"I'm with him, in a -" she paused and glanced around the dilapidated, depressing room " - safe house."

She could almost picture Steve nodding, no doubt wearing a serious expression on his face. "The information you were able to retrieve was invaluable," he told her. "We've got a pin on Strucker and likely the sceptre too, in Sokovia, so hopefully we can finish mopping up this mess. We're going to call the whole team in and plan an attack.

Katherine nodded in turn, trying her best to ignore Bucky as his mouth moved from her shoulder and up her neck and the way it made her lower stomach flip. "Where are you now?"

"The airfield," he said, referring to where they had landed the quinjet earlier coming in to the mission. She could hear voices, movement, and engines in the background. "We took the base, but when we couldn't find you I called in reinforcements." Steve took a breath, hesitating. "Tony's just arrived," he added, surprising her since Tony had been too busy with planning work on the newly built Avengers Compound to come on the mission.

Bucky's hand threaded in her long hair to tilt her head to the side as he continued to place distracting kisses in the hollow just below her ear. ' _Stop it,'_ she mouthed at him, but Bucky's only response was a heart-stopping half grin, a brief flash of teeth before returning his mouth to her skin.

"Is that Bonnie?" she heard Tony saying in the background on Steve's end of the line. "Tell her she's fired - in fact, give me that damn phone."

"Tony -" Steve said, followed by the sound of a scuffle - Bucky, meanwhile, took her earlobe between his teeth, allowing it to lightly drag through in a way that made her catch her breath.

"I'm on my way," Katherine said shakily, unable to handle what Bucky was doing and ready to cut the conversation short.

Tony's voice appeared on the end of the phone. "Now you listen here, Bonnie -" she heard him say in an annoyed voice before she hung up and tossed the phone to one side.

"That wasn't fair," she admonished Bucky, though couldn't hide the small smile on her face; she couldn't help it, she _loved_ seeing him like this - calm, half-naked between her thighs and just a little too smug about the reactions he'd been able to coax from her.

"Perhaps not," he allowed, utterly unrepentant as he pressed a final, lingering, open mouthed kiss to her neck.

Katherine bit her lip, still holding his undershirt to her chest.

"Will you come with us?" she asked, suddenly fearful that they would have to say goodbye again. "You've been doing this lone-gun slinger thing but - well, Steve seems to think we're closing in on the end," she told him. "They've located Strucker in Sokovia. There's going to be a big attack."

Bucky immediately frowned at her. "You will _not_ be involved in such a thing," he said firmly, his tone unyielding.

"I'll be at the tower in New York," she reassured him. "I've been helping with running the technical stuff from the back end." She bit her lip once more, staring at him. "So ... do you think you'll come?"

He looked thoughtful for a long moment, then slowly nodded his head.

Katherine grinned, relief flooding her body. She leant forward to briefly peck his lips before getting up and off him. "We should go," she said, tossing him the undershirt she had been clutching and starting to gather her clothes.

Bucky grumbled slightly at her haste, but nevertheless also got up and started to dress - as he picked up his jacket a small, folded piece of colourful paper fell out. Katherine picked it up curiously, only to find that it was a creased picture of her and Steve, the same picture that had been splashed across several gossip rags a few months ago, that had been torn from a magazine.

She looked up at Bucky, panic in her eyes as she held the picture. "You know that absolutely _nothing_ is going on with me and Steve, right?" she said urgently, fearful that that was what he might have thought. "That stupid article -"

"I know," Bucky interrupted her, his whole demeanor calm as he shrugged on his jacket.

"You do?" she checked, a little confused (but utterly relieved) about why he wasn't questioning it further given how the picture had clearly been torn from a gossip magazine that had speculated about the two of them being in a relationship.

"You're wearing my dog tags in the picture," he pointed out, coming to stand right in front of her, towering over her. His hands came to rest on her shoulders and he leant down to press a light kiss to her lips. " _Mine_ , my girl," he said possessively, his mouth lingering against hers.

Katherine smiled into the kiss. "Does that make you mine too?" she wanted to know as he kissed her again.

"Damn right," he replied with a hint of smug satisfaction when he finally drew back - he then abruptly frowned, his face falling ever so slightly. "That is, if you'll have me," he added self-consciously as he gazed down at her.

She looped her arms around his neck and went up on her tiptoes to press a single kiss to his mouth in turn. "Oh, I very much intend to have you, Bucky Barnes," she confirmed, smiling up at him.

Clearly relieved, Bucky gave her a small grin.

When they were both fully dressed Bucky grabbed a black backpack from where it was stored beneath the floorboards and Katherine glanced around the empty safe house once more. "Do you have everything?" she checked, highly doubting that there was anything else in the dilapidated room that he wanted to take; he nodded his head and she took his hand, entwining her fingers firmly with his. "Then let's go," she said with a smile.

* * *

Bucky couldn't help but turn his head towards Katherine as they rode on the motorcycle, heading towards the airfield some miles away. The sweet, citrus scent of her hair filled his nose, deeply familiar and comforting after so long without her. She was positioned securely before him on the bike once more, between his thighs, with his arms protective around her as he steered the bike.

Having her pressed against him thus had his groin stirring once again and he exhaled a wry breath as he tried to control his body's reaction. Katherine had utterly surprised him tonight, and not only with her presence in a Hydra base; she had been fiery in her anger and then sultry in her seduction, kissing and touching him with gratifying enthusiasm that had surpassed any fantasy he'd had of her.

The sight of her in the shower back at the cabin had been the best memory he'd had in his torn up mind, but now even that had been surpassed by having her atop of him, half naked and whimpering with need.

 _For him,_ he thought, half smug and half bewildered at the idea.

The sun was just rising over the mountains as they arrived at the secluded airfield that Katherine directed him too. The quinjet was parked on the airstrip and he was able to drive the bike right up. Steve and Tony Stark were at the bottom of the ramp and apparently having an argument if their demeanor was any indication; Steve was in his uniform, his shield on his back, and Stark was in his Iron Man armour but not wearing his helmet. They both looked over as the motorbike rumbled up towards them.

"Well, it's about damn time," Stark said with a scowl as Bucky kicked the stand out on the bike and extended a hand to help Katherine dismount. "We've been cooling our heels here for hours now while you and Barnes play hide the zucchini."

Katherine, with her hair distinctly tousled from where he'd had his hands in it and her lips still slightly swollen from their kiss, seemed unphased by his insinuation, whereas Bucky frowned deeply at Howard's son. "Oh hush, we're here now," she chided, walking straight up to Stark and hugging him, her arms awkward around him due to the bulk of his armour.

Tony grumbled slightly. "You alright?" he wanted to know, genuine concern in his voice, and Katherine nodded in response, her hand briefly touching Steve's arm in greeting as well.

"You're coming back with us?" Steve asked with no small amount of surprise, addressing Bucky as he noted the backpack he carried.

Bucky nodded, turning his frown on Steve instead - the man he'd entrusted to keep Katherine safe.

"I need a minute," he said simply to Katherine, nodding his head towards Steve to indicate that he wanted to speak to him.

Katherine looked briefly between them, no doubt noting Bucky's deep scowl and knowing what it was about. She sighed and went up on her tiptoes, pressing her lips to his cheek. "Remember what I said," she reminded him pointedly, referring to how she had insisted that her presence at a Hydra base had not been Steve's fault.

Leaving Steve and Bucky outside the quinjet, Katherine headed up the ramp with Tony, telling him about the software worm as they went.

There was a long silence between the two men as Bucky stared at his old friend; Steve was standing with his hands on his belt, looking distinctly uncomfortable under Bucky's intense scrutiny.

"Never again," he eventually said, a note of iron in his voice - in that moment he was not Bucky Barnes talking to his friend, he was the Winter Soldier threatening retribution on any that harmed what was his. "She will never be put in harm's way like that again, do you understand?"

Steve nodded once, his face serious, contrite and somber.

"She is the line, do not cross it," Bucky finished severely, his metal hand resting on the gun that was holstered at his side to make his point.

Steve nodded again and there was another brief silence once more before Steve eventually exhaled a breath and mustered a small smile. "It's good to see you, Buck," he said quietly, like he wasn't sure how this comment would be received.

Bucky looked at his old friend, thinking about how Katherine had _insisted_ that her presence in a Hydra base had not been his fault despite him being the one entrusted to protect her and decided to cut him a break - this time.

He stepped forward and pulled Steve into a hug, clapping him on the back. "You too, punk."

* * *

 **Sorry that it was such a long wait for this chapter, there were 2 reasons that it took a while.**

 **First is that my grandfather died and so life became rather hectic with family matters :(**

 **Second is that this chapter fought me almost every step of the way - this final draft is very different to what I originally had planned.**

 **Big** _ **big**_ **thank you to auntkia for betaing not one, not two, but three separate drafts of this chapter!**

 **And so we are now coming in to Age of Ultron … Leave a review, my darlings :)**


	21. Return

The sun had just been rising over the mountains when the quinjet had left Slovakia, but with the time difference back to New York it was once again dark upon their return.

None of the team had slept with the mission at the Hydra base the night before and even Steve was stifling a yawn, whereas Clint, whom Bucky had exchanged greetings with upon boarding the jet, was actually sat with his head tilted back against the jumpseat and his eyes closed.

Katherine appeared to be equally tired, though she seemed to be trying to stay awake for his sake, jerking slightly each time she came close to nodding off with her head drooping on his shoulder.

Bucky had spent the journey to New York largely silent, with Katherine's hand held in his own. He had mixed feelings about returning to Avengers Tower; on one hand he would be with Katherine again, whom he had missed dearly, but on the other he was not as optimistic as Steve was that Strucker and his base in Sokovia apparently represented the last of Hydra.

In fact, he knew for certain that there were still several safe houses and lower ranking, but still powerful, Hydra goons out there - he wondered if he was being selfish in returning before knowing for certain that it was safe for Katherine, but knowing that she was willing to endanger herself by venturing into Hydra bases without his say had swayed him.

His musings were interrupted as the lights of New York appeared below them, sprawling out vast and bright as far as the eye could see.

The quinjet touched down on the top of the tower and the mechanisms drew it inside the building. Bucky grabbed the small, black backpack that he'd taken from his safehouse and glanced at his motorbike, which had been stored at the back of the jet; he then shrugged and decided to simply leave it there for now.

"Right, everyone go get some shut-eye," Steve ordered as they made their way towards the elevator, the whole team appearing tired and weary. "We'll have a meeting to discuss Strucker and Sokovia at midday."

The others made their way to their own areas of the tower, whereas Bucky and Katherine went with Steve down to his floor. Steve mumbled a goodnight to them and headed off to his room, while Bucky followed Katherine into the large bedroom that they had briefly shared all those months ago.

"I'm gonna take a quick shower before bed," Katherine said sleepily, her fingers clutching his jacket to draw him down and press a brief kiss to his mouth before she headed off into the bathroom.

Bucky looked around the room, noting how it was at once both familiar and alien. The furniture was all still the same, but the painting on the wall had changed and the bedding was different. There was also now a desk in the corner, one that had two computer screens on it. Katherine's belongings were scattered around the room, her laptop on the bedside table with her reading glasses on top of it and her pyjamas folded on the bed.

His gaze moved to the other side of the bed, the side that had been his when he'd stayed here before, and he noticed a notebook and pen on the bedside table. He crossed the room and picked them up curiously; he found the notebook empty and realised that Katherine must have left it there waiting for him, despite not knowing when or if he would return.

Holding the evidence that she had indeed been thinking about him during their separation, he looked around the room once more and noted several other things; a pair of gloves on the chest of drawers, men's clothing that still had the labels attached in the wardrobe beside her own and, finally, a black and white photograph of him and Steve from the war stuck to one of the computer monitors.

He took the picture and gazed down at it for a long moment, studying it carefully. His hair was cut short with just a faint shadow of stubble lining his jaw and his smile was wide, but it was still recognisably him despite the marked changes between him and the man in the photograph.

The bathroom door opened, making him glance up and then freeze as he stared.

Katherine emerged wrapped in a towel, her skin pink and damp after her shower. She'd tied her hair up into a high, messy bun to stop it from getting wet, but tendrils that were moist from the steam had escaped to curl around her face and neck.

Katherine smiled at him, looking almost shy. "All yours," she said quietly, waving a hand towards the bathroom and yawning once more. She gestured towards the large bed, her cheeks pinkening even further, "I'll just, uh …"

Wordlessly, Bucky nodded once and brushed by her to the bathroom, closing the door behind him. He exhaled a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to control his body's reaction at the thought of her in bed, waiting for him.

Things between them had gotten heated back at the safe house, unexpectedly so, and he hadn't been prepared for it. Now that he had the time to stop and think, he found himself deeply hesitant about taking things further physically with Katherine despite how much he wanted to.

It wasn't that he doubted his feelings for her or lacked the desire - far from it - but he was both unsure of what she expected from him and acutely aware of his superior strength, worried that he might hurt her.

There was also a voice in his mind that he distinctly recognised as the Bucky Barnes from the forties telling him in a disapproving Brooklyn accent that he still hadn't even taken her out on a date.

Realising that he had been woolgathering for some time, he stripped off the tactical clothing he'd been wearing and stepped into the shower, absently noticing that the toiletries she had bought him were still waiting for him where he'd left them. It was the first time in months that he'd been able to wash in anything more than a low-pressured trickle from old pipes in the safe houses he'd frequented and for a long moment he luxuriated in the pounding warmth on the tight muscles of his shoulders, the hot water washing away the sweat and grime from the mission as it sluiced over his chest.

He then grimaced and set his jaw before turning the temperature dial to cold in an attempt to quell his persistent state of arousal; while it worked in dulling his erection, the icy jets also bought back chilling memories of his time with Hydra, grisly images flashing to the forefront of his mind and straining his control.

Bucky stayed in the shower for some time, gradually turning the heat up higher as he grappled with his mind, locking the images and memories away once more.

He eventually turned off the shower and got out, only to realise two things; first, that he had been in the bathroom for quite some time now, and second, that he had not bought anything to wear to bed into the bathroom with him. Getting fully dressed in his tactical gear once more seemed foolish, so he simply pulled on his boxers and roughly towel dried his long hair.

Still feeling slightly hesitant about what Katherine might expect or want from him, he emerged from the bathroom only to find that she had fallen asleep, unsurprising given how exhausted she was and he had been in the bathroom for nearly forty-five minutes.

One corner of his mouth curled up into a fond smile at the sight of her. She had clearly been waiting for him, asleep half sat up with her head tilted back against the headboard and her reading glasses askew, her laptop balanced precariously on her lap above the covers. Her long hair was now down around her shoulders, wavy from where it had been tied up in a bun, and her rosebud lips were slightly parted as she slept.

Still suppressing a smile, Bucky rescued her laptop from its imminent fall to the floor and put it on the bedside table. He then gently tugged the glasses from her face, being careful not to wake her, and left them atop of the computer. Turning off the bedroom light, he made his way to the other side of the bed and slipped beneath the covers, savouring the familiar scent of her on the bed sheets.

Knowing that she would be uncomfortable if she slept half sat up as she was, he drew her down and into his arms as he had done dozens of times before when they'd shared a bed. She fitted against him easily and naturally without waking, her head pillowed on his chest while he lay on his back. Her hand came up to curl around his metal shoulder and one of her legs entwined with his as she continued to sleep.

Bucky sighed deeply and closed his eyes, savouring the familiar, comforting weight of her against him after having been without her for so many months. He could feel the softness of the cotton t-shirt and silk pyjama shorts she wore against the skin of his bare chest. The summer night was hot, almost uncomfortably so even with the windows of the tower cracked open to try and tempt in a breeze, but nevertheless he basked in the warmth of her body curled against him.

Nightmares had once again come thick and fast while he had been away without her beside him to temper them and he had grown used to only getting brief snatches of sleep in the past few months.

Now, however, he got the sense that he would sleep deeply and well now that Katherine was back in his arms where she belonged.

* * *

Katherine inhaled a deep breath as she woke, turning her face into her pillow with a faint, sleepy groan. After a long moment she raised her head slightly, blinking in the morning sunlight streaming in through the large windows. She smiled at what she saw.

Bucky was fast asleep close beside her, laying on his stomach with his arms wrapped around his pillow. His face was tilted towards her with his hair loose and tangled around it, some of the jagged strands falling into his face. His eyes were closed and the corners of his mouth pulled down into a frown even in his sleep. He was dressed in just black boxer shorts with the duvet pushed down around his waist, exposing the smooth, muscled lines of his back to her gaze.

Her eyes travelled down the ridge of raised, red scar tissue where the metal of his arm met flesh; she was tempted to reach out and trace the line with her fingers, but knew better than to touch him unexpectedly while he was sleeping.

In fact, it was so rare to actually see him asleep since more often than not he would wake before her when they'd been in the cabin. The fact that he hadn't so much as twitched when she woke and shifted meant that he must be very tired indeed. Looking at him, she noted again the dark shadows under his eyes, speaking of weeks of sleepless nights.

She simply gazed at him for several minutes. Her heart felt impossibly full as she watched him sleep, happy to have him back beside her once more. She knew full well just how deep her feelings ran; to say that he had utterly changed her life would be an understatement.

Slowly, so as not to wake him, Katherine eventually started to get up from the bed with the intention of heading to the kitchen. She carefully pushed the duvet off herself and scooted towards the edge of the bed, trying to shift the bed as little as possible so as not to disturb him with the movement.

She thought for a second that she had made it, until a metal arm snaked around her waist, dragging her back and tucking her firmly against a warm body.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bucky asked her without opening his eyes, his tone mildly disgruntled and rusty from sleep.

Katherine grinned at this sleepy display of possessiveness, turning in his arms so that she was facing him. "I was going to go and make us some drinks," she explained quietly, gazing at him.

Bucky opened his eyes and blinked at her, his wintery eyes more blue than grey in the morning light. He hummed slightly and then reluctantly released her, turning onto his back with his metal hand beneath his head as he reclined on the pillows. "I've not had a decent cup of coffee in months," he admitted, still not sounding completely awake as he closed his eyes once more.

"And whose fault is that?" Katherine asked teasingly, enjoying the sight of him so lazy and relaxed in the morning light and more than a little amused that he was willing to let her go if it meant he was compensated with coffee. Unable to help herself, she leaned forward and pressed a brief kiss to his mouth, drawing back as he tried to deepen it.

"I'll be right back," she said, smiling as she slipped out of the bed before he could grab her once more.

Barefoot, she padded to the kitchen and found a pot of coffee already on, suggesting that Steve was up and about somewhere.

She pondered on having Bucky back in the tower as she waited for the kettle to boil to make her own tea. Things had _changed_ between them; everything that had been unspoken and implied, both by their own words and the comments of others, was all out in the open after their side trip to the safe house and they were practically a couple without ever having been out on a date or even properly talked about their relationship.

That wasn't to say that the change was unwelcome, but Katherine still found herself slightly bewildered about where they would go from here, especially since Bucky didn't exactly have an 'average lifestyle,' so the ususal rules didn't apply.

She had tried to wait up for him the night before while he'd been in the bathroom, half wanting to talk to him and half wanting to pick up where they had left off in the safe house, but had been so tired that she had fallen asleep before he'd emerged from his shower.

She actually found herself glad that Bucky had put the brakes on before things had gone too far in the safe house - the squalid conditions aside, once she'd had time to reflect on what she wanted on the flight back to New York, she found that she didn't want to rush this. Old, lingering insecurities from the ex-boyfriend who had cheated on her numerous times had risen and she wanted to take the time to make sure they were both comfortable with this change in their relationship.

With their drinks made, she made her way back to the bedroom, quietly entertained at the domesticity of bringing a man coffee in bed.

Bucky turned his head to look at her as she pushed the bedroom door open with her foot. He was still reclining on his back among the pillows and tangled duvet, wearing just a pair of black boxers. She wasn't quite used to seeing him like this; it had been the tail-end of winter when he'd left and he'd always worn t-shirts to bed as well as long pyjama bottoms - still, she wasn't exactly complaining at being treated to the sight of his chiselled torso.

He sat up as she approached the bed with a mug in each hand and reached out to take them from her, putting them on the bedside table beside him to cool and freeing her of her burden.

Katherine climbed back into the bed and was immediately pulled back into his arms. She felt him sigh in contentment as she settled against his side, curled into him with her head pillowed on his bare chest. His body was warm against hers, his arms wrapped tight around her.

After a long moment of quiet, comfortable stillness Bucky's flesh hand started to wander down her back, clearly more awake now. His fingers slowly trailed their way down her spine, moving downwards, over the curve of her backside and down the back of her thigh, only to pause just before her knee and travel slowly up again.

Katherine caught her breath as she felt him hardening against her hip, feeling his chest rising and falling with slightly quicker breaths as his hand moved over her body.

His fingers travelled along the waistband of her pyjama shorts, brushing the narrow strip of exposed skin of her lower back between her camisole and the shorts.

There was a moment's pause, then Bucky suddenly moved. He rolled her onto her back and shifted so that he was half above her with his weight braced on his metal hand, a bright, expentant look that fairly took her breath away in his eyes.

He lowered his face so that his mouth hovered teasingly above her own, drawing back scant millimetres as she tried to raise her lips to his. Their noses brushed as he purposefully drew out the moment before a kiss for several long seconds, before finally pressing his lips feverently to hers.

Katherine almost immediately parted her lips, allowing Bucky to deepen the kiss with a faint groan deep in his throat. Her hands were exploring his arms, shoulders and torso, finding the metal of his arm to be almost as warm as the rest of his skin after having been in bed.

She moved so that she was laying completely on her back, spreading her legs so that he was able to move between them as they kissed, their bodies pressed together with him supporting himself on his arms above her.

"God, what you do to me, doll ... " Bucky rasped against her skin, moving to kiss her throat as she tightly gripped his shoulders.

His mouth moved painfully slowly down over her collarbone to the swell of her breasts, kissing his way along the neckline of the camisole she'd worn to bed. He made no move to touch her further and she arched her back to encourage him.

Fully hard, Bucky thrust his hips against her core in response to her pressing herself against him. It was an instinctive, seemingly involuntary movement since he then forced himself to be still. His kisses on her collarbone faltered as he drew back and held his weight off her with trembling tension, his eyes still closed as he caught his breath.

"Hey … look at me," Katherine said softly as he hesitated, frowning up at him in concern. "Bucky?"

He didn't immediately meet her eyes and she took his face in her hands and waited until he eventually opened his eyes and raised his gaze to hers. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly, sensing that something was wrong.

Bucky took a deep breath, still cradled between her thighs.

"I'm … worried about hurting you," he eventually admitted, a single crease between his brows to evidence his concern as he continued to hold his weight off her.

He then shook his head slightly, his eyes at once conflicted and dark with desire. "I want you so much, but you're so small, so _breakable_ , and with the serum and my arm …" He trailed off and took a deep breath. "I just need to be sure that I'm in control."

"We don't have to do anything," she said earnestly, worried that she had pressured him into something that he wasn't comfortable with after what had happened between them in the safe house. "There's no rush."

He nodded, looking slightly relieved, and then lowered his mouth back to her neck. He pressed a soft, open mouthed kiss to her pulse point.

"Just this then," he said against her skin, drawing the line of what he was comfortable with. "For now."

She nodded in turn and he drew back slightly, giving here a small crooked grin that nearly stopped her heart. "Besides, I still need to take you on that date," he pointed out with a glimmer of amusement.

Katherine laughed delightedly at his old fashioned manners, looping her arms around his neck. "You won't hear me complaining," she said with a grin, still laying beneath him. "Tonight, after the meeting?"

"It's a date," Bucky agreed with no small amount of satisfaction.

He kissed her lightly once more and then rolled off her, sitting up to pass her the mug of tea on the bedside table as easily and naturally as if they'd been waking up together for years.

Katherine grinned at the domesticity of being sat in bed and talking quietly with mugs of tea and coffee in their respective hands, savouring this small moment of intimacy before they had to get up for the day.

* * *

Bucky tapped his metal fingers on the tabletop and surpressed a sigh as he impatiently waited for the meeting regarding the attack on the base in Sokovia to end, it now being well into the afternoon.

He was not happy with the idea of working with a team, still preferring to go in alone, but recognised that in returning to the tower with Hydra still out there meant joining up if he wanted to be involved.

He was used to being given orders and following them, or, more recently, simply acting on his own initiative as he'd attached Hydra bases and safe houses, and so now found himself unconfortable with the team dynamic that he had scorned when it had first been suggested to him months ago.

Sitting in on a committee meeting and discussing tactics as a team was not exactly his style, even if it was Steve leading the meeting.

And considering that said tactics seemed to consist of landing the quinjet in the far woods, taking on the perimeter guards, getting as close to the base as they could before they lost the element of surprise and then simply giving them hell, he was not sure why the meeting had lasted for so long.

He was anxious to return to Katherine, who hadn't been involved in the meeting, it being only for those who would be in the field tomorrow.

With the conversation deviating on to how Bruce would be involved in the mission, whether or not it would be a 'code green,' as they dubbed it, Bucky allowed his mind to drift.

He thought back on the relaxed morning he'd shared with Katherine, savouring the intimacy of having woken up with her once more. Having her in bed against him had filled him with contentment, though he still had a lingering worry about Hydra and whether or not he'd made the right decision in choosing to return.

That said, even this worry was not enough to dispel the sense of satisfaction of having her in his arms again, especially with their burgeoning physical relationship. His caution over hurting her had stopped things from becoming too heated so far, and so he'd been forced to see to himself in the shower once again lest he come to the meeting with lingering arousal.

"Got something better to be doing, Marco?" Tony Stark asked, noticing his preoccupation and rudely cutting across Steve as he tossed what appeared to be a blueberry into his mouth.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Bucky replied without looking at him, not having warmed to Stark despite Katherine having become good friends with him - probably something to do with the unassailable guilt he felt whenever he looked at the man, reminded of his parents.

"Likewise, Cap," Clint added, checking his watch. "Can we wind this up?"

"Sure, we're about done," Steve said, looking only mildly annoyed at his briefing being cut short. "You all know what you're doing. Wheels up at 0600 hours tomorrow morning."

The group disbanded, heading their separate ways around the tower and Steve fell into step beside Bucky as they made their way back to his floor.

"What's got you so preoccupied?" Steve asked as they walked. "Is it the mission tomorrow?"

"No," Bucky said simply. There was a pause, then he glanced at his friend before elaborating. "Katya and I are going out tonight."

"I suppose you can now that she's cleared your faces from the system," Steve replied musingly. He then frowned slightly, glancing at him as they walked. "Do you need money or anything?"

Bucky actually laughed at that - more of a small, quiet chuckle really, but a laugh nevertheless.

"I've spent the past few months raiding every base and safe house in Europe and stockpiling the supplies," he told him in a tone of satisfaction, viciously amused at having been able to take this small revenge on Hydra. "I've got more than enough for Katya and I to live comfortably for a lifetime stashed away in various places and several thousand in both Euros and dollars in my bag; should be enough for a night on the town with my girl."

Steve chuckled at that in turn. "I suppose they owe you that much at least," he agreed wryly. He clapped him easily and familiarly on the shoulder as the elevator doors opened on his floor. "Have fun, you deserve a win," he said warmly, heading off to his office.

Bucky, meanwhile, made his way to the bedroom that he and Katherine shared. He pushed open the door and paused in the doorway, staring once again.

Katherine had been sat working at her dual computer screens in the corner, wearing her reading glasses, but she stood up when he opened the door, hurriedly taking off her glasses as she did so.

She was dressed as he'd never seen her before, wearing black heels and a dark red dress in the distinctive style of the 1940s. The bodice of her dress hugged the curves of her breasts, emphasizing her small waist and left the skirt to flare over her hips and then fall to her knees. Her long, dark hair had been curled and pulled back from her face, leaving the rest to fall in waves down her back. Her lips were tinted an alluring dark red to match her dress and her eyes were smokey.

His gaze wandered over her body and then settled briefly on the deep V at her neckline displaying her creamy throat, where the silver chain that he knew held his dog tags vanished down between her breasts, before lifting to her face once more.

She looked like an old fashioned movie star, all sultriness and glamour, and for a moment he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her.

"What do you think?" she asked nervously, smoothing her hands over the material of her dress and drawing his eyes briefly back down to the curve of her waist and hips.

He didn't reply.

Instead, he wordlessly closed the bedroom door behind him and slowly crossed the room until he was standing right in front of her. He stared down at her, his eyes still moving over her face and eventually settling on her dark red lips.

Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and she blinked up at him, her lashes long and dark. "Bucky?" she said quietly, questioningly, since he'd still said nothing.

Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her without warning, leaning down to press his mouth ardently to hers and tasting the lipstick on her lips.

She swayed on her feet, her hands coming up to grip his shoulders to steady herself.

He drew back after a long moment, noting with no small amount of satisfaction that she looked thoroughly dazed, her pupils blown wide and her lips still parted.

"You look beautiful," he told her honestly, his voice hoarse. He leaned in again, his mouth just brushing hers. "So damn beautiful," he breathed against her red lips before kissing her in earnest once more.

It was Katherine's turn to draw back. "Keep talking like that and we won't make it out at all," she said shakily, giving him a wry smile.

Bucky shook his head.

"Nuh uh, darlin'," he said, taking her chin between his fingers and thumb. "Considering how long I made you wait while I was away, you deserve a night out on the town." He tilted her face up to his once more, pressing a single, light kiss to her lips. "Just give me a minute to change."

He released her with a small chuck beneath her chin and crossed the room to the wardrobe to change his shirt.

She stood at the mirror, fixing the lipstick that he'd smudged, and he was acutely aware of her watching him in the glass as he pulled the long-sleeved t-shirt he had been wearing above his head. He shrugged on a white shirt and buttoned it up, and then grabbed a tie. She came over to join him, lifting his collar and helping to tie the tie just as she'd done when they'd gone to visit Brooklyn.

Taking the time to grab his gloves and money from his bag, he turned to her and held out his hand, which she immediately reached out to take. "Let's go then, doll."

* * *

 **Sorry for the slight delay in updating, these last few weeks have been a bit manic!**

 **Thank you for all of your kind words and condolences on the last chapter, I really appreciated it.**

 **Big thank you to aunt-kia for betaing for me!**

 **Hope you enjoyed this (rather fluffy, admittedly) chapter - next up, their date and the Sokovia mission!**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies :)**


	22. The date

**AN - the story really starts to earn its M rating here. If that's not your cup of tea then maybe skip over the section between the bridge and the last section.**

* * *

Katherine saw a change in Bucky the moment they left the tower.

In their room he had seemed confident, determined even, but as they stepped out into the sunlight, with neither a cap or jacket to protect his identity, he visibly tensed Unnerved, his eyes darted around at the numerous people surrounding them - a mixture of pedestrians, tourists and even people dressed in replica superhero costumes taking pictures outside the tower - and his hand hovered by one of the concealed weapons she was positive he was carrying.

She had thought about walking to the restaurant, but decided to hail a cab due to how uncomfortable Bucky seemed with the crowds.

Taking the hand that wasn't anticipating grabbing a weapon, knowing that he wouldn't like that, she stepped up to the curb and raised her free hand to signal to a passing yellow cab, Bucky tightly holding on to the other.

"Where are we going?" Bucky asked with a deep frown as he held the cab door open for her to get in first. "I didn't even think …"

"I made a reservation at a little Chinese place in Brooklyn while you were at the meeting," she told him as he trailed off, hoping that he would be happy with that given how much he'd enjoyed the Chinese take-away they'd had some months ago.

He nodded, looking visibly relieved that she had sorted something for their date, and joined her in the cab.

They were both quiet on the ride through the city, their hands entwined on the seat between them. Bucky was looking warily out of the windows, whereas Katherine was suddenly finding herself feeling inexplicably shy. It was a strange feeling since they had essentially been living together both in the cabin and in the tower, but it was there nevertheless.

Perhaps it was something to do with the fact that this was her first date in a very long time - she'd had neither the inclination nor the confidence to get back into dating after discovering her ex-boyfriend's infidelity, choosing to throw herself into her work instead. But more than that, her relationship with Bucky was so important to her that she didn't want to do anything to jeopardize it and that awareness was probably causing her to be more quiet than usual.

Before she knew it, the cab had pulled up in front of the restaurant and Bucky was leaning forwards to pay the fare. He then got out of the cab, extending a gloved hand to assist her out in turn.

The restaurant was one that had been recommended by one of her tech team; it was a small, hole-in-the-wall place with a distinct oriental decor. There were only a few other patrons and she and Bucky were lead to a secluded, out of the way table dimly lit by a few hanging Chinese lanterns.

Bucky pulled her chair out for her and she smiled absently, taking her seat. Although the table had settings for four, Bucky had seated her at his right, positioning them so that their backs were to the wall; and he had full view of the restaurant. She guessed even now, he was on his guard for any type of threat.

She bit her lip as Bucky took his seat next to her, noting that he seemed marginally more relaxed now that they were in the restaurant and not out on the street. He caught her eyes and then actually _winked_ flirtatiously at her as he sat down, much to her surprise.

She lowered her gaze, busying herself with looking down at the menu since she was still unsure of herself.

There was silence between them for a long moment, then Bucky spoke.

"Do you know what you'd like to drink?" he asked politely.

Looking up, she saw that he had a faint, mildly confused crease between his brows, probably due to her being quiet and practically hiding behind her menu. She suddenly felt a small flash of guilt; if she was feeling shy and nervous at the prospect of a date then she could only imagine how he must be feeling.

Katherine smiled, allowing herself to relax.

"I was going to get a glass of wine," she told him.

Bucky nodded and flagged down the waiter; the young Chinese man approached them with a notepad in hand. Without missing a beat, Bucky spoke to him in fluent Mandarin and Katherine blinked at him in surprise.

The waiter in turn brightened at being addressed in his own language. The two of them had a brief conversation, during which the waiter gestured to her and Bucky nodded with a small smile playing around his mouth as he replied. The waiter laughed and even _winked_ , making Bucky's mouth quirk again, before leaving the two of them alone once more.

"I'd forgotten that you speak Mandarin," Katherine commented once the waiter had gone, remembering their conversation back in the cabin when he had told her about the numerous languages that he spoke. "I don't think I've ever heard you speak anything other than English or Russian before."

He nodded. "English is my first language, then Russian was what I was used to speaking when …" he trailed off briefly and she knew what he had been about to say; when he had been with Hydra. He seemingly shook himself slightly. "Used to speaking before," he finished simply, rephrasing himself.

She remembered him saying that he sometimes thought in Russian as well as English. He'd described it at the time as the soldier and the man vying for control within his mind, but he seemed to have since found some kind of peace, some middle ground, between the two extremes - certainly he was nothing like the cold, watchful man that she had first met in DC.

"Well, it certainly is impressive," Katherine said, her cheeks warming slightly as the thought of the way he would say the Russian variant of her name that he had given her and the effect that it had on her.

Missing nothing, one of Bucky's brows quirked ever so slightly.

"Is that a _blush_ , Katya?" he asked - which, of course, only made her cheeks pinken even further.

When she didn't reply, he leaned closer and lowered his voice.

"Do you like it when I speak in Russian?" he asked, his eyes bright and intent on her as he scrutinised her reaction.

Positive that her cheeks were no doubt a deep scarlet by now, she shrugged as nonchalantly as she could.

"Maybe a little …" she allowed, half raising one shoulder, trying to keep her voice purposefully light and refusing to meet his intense gaze.

Bucky leaned in further putting his mouth right to her ear.

"Возможно, я поговорю с тобой по-русски в следующий раз, когда мы будем в постели," he rasped quietly, both the intensity of his voice and his breath scorching the sensitive skin of her neck making her shiver.

He drew back with a rather satisfied look on his face, no doubt fully aware of her reaction as he settled back in his seat.

"Wh-what did you say?" she stuttered, mildly chagrined to hear her voice tremble slightly.

Bucky simply smirked at her, an undeniable air of smugness about him - it was clear that he had no intention of replying.

Katherine exhaled a shaky breath. "That's not fair," she scolded, though here was no actual heat to her admonishment.

His mouth quirked once more.

"Oh, darlin' …" he said, his voice a mixture of amused and serious as he reached over to take her hand. He turned it so that it was palm down and swept his gloved metal thumb slowly over her knuckles. "What made you think I was going to play fair?"

Bucky then raised her hand to his mouth, pressing a lingering kiss to the back of her hand and holding her gaze as he did so.

He was deliberately trying to be seductive, she realized, which meant one thing.

She was in trouble.

* * *

Katherine found herself relaxing more and more as the evening went on, realising that this was the first chance that she and Bucky had really had to sit and talk after the long months apart.

They spent several hours in the small restaurant, quietly speaking of everything and nothing and revelling in each other's company.

She told him about the problems she'd had when her code had first gone live and had inadvertently destabilized several important systems, how she had gone on to market her code to several other companies and even how she'd had to apply to extend her visa to continue working in the USA.

From there, she went on to talk about England. She had visited for a few days several weeks ago for her graduation and had even had dinner with her father and heavily pregnant step-mother. Despite her recent success with her code, her father still remained distant with her and it had been clear that none of the three people around the table had particularly wanted to be there.

She had since heard that her step-mother had since given birth to a little boy that they had called Ben; she'd sent a card, but still had yet to meet her half-brother.

Bucky had been frowning as she'd spoken of her family, evidently picking up on the faint note of dissatisfaction in her voice despite her trying to hide it.

He asked her if that bothered her and after a moment she shook her head - Bucky was her family, as was Steve, Tony, her friends, people on her tech team.

They were the family she chose.

Changing the subject, she asked him about what he had been doing in the months apart.

He quietly told her about how he had travelled on a cargo ship to get to Europe, then how he had travelled around key cities establishing safe houses for himself, uncaring of their squalid conditions, before moving to attack Hydra.

She had been surprised when he had told her that he didn't think Hydra was finished by any means - Steve had said that Strucker and Sokovia were likely the last main Hydra base, but Bucky was convinced otherwise.

"Cut off one head, two more shall take its place," he'd finished grimly, reciting their old mantra.

Before long, they finished both their food and after dinner coffee and the waiter was coming over with their bill, taking the time to talk to Bucky in Mandarin once more.

By habit, she reached for her purse.

"Shall we split it?" she offered as he glanced at the bill.

Bucky looked completely scandalised, staring at her with wide eyes from across the table.

"Women don't pay on a date," he said, shaking his head slightly.

Katherine grinned, making no move to put her purse away. "Maybe not in the forties, but this is the twenty-first century," she said teasingly, smiling at him. She reached for the bill in his hand. "Come on, what's my share?"

He jerked his hand so that it was out of her reach. "Please, Katya," he said very quietly, earnestly. "Let me do this."

Recognising that this was important to him, she conceded with grace and allowed him to pay, noting that he was using cash rather than a card.

"Next one is on me," she insisted, smiling her thanks.

"We'll see," Bucky said noncommittally, and she couldn't help but notice that he hadn't agreed, making her shake her head slightly as she fought a smile.

Katherine waited until the waiter had bid them good night and was out of earshot of their table before speaking again..

"May I ask you a question?" she said softly, curious about something.

Bucky glanced up at her from where he was putting his money back into his jacket pocket, his gaze inviting her to continue.

"Was that money from the first safe house in New York that we went to the night we met?" she wanted to know.

He shook his head slowly.

"I've been stockpiling resources from all the safe houses I've destroyed," he told her plainly. "Money, weapons, even tools to make false papers if we need them." He hesitated briefly before continuing. "Enough that we can start a life almost anywhere and live comfortably."

Katherine looked at him with her lips slightly parted, taking in the nuance of his words.

He had said similar such things in the past, but they'd never really had a proper conversation about their relationship and the future.

Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and she took a breath.

"Bucky …" she said softly, knowing that many people – men especially, it seemed - panicked when asked this kind of question in a relationship. "What do you think of when you imagine the future?"

"You, mostly," he replied instantly, unfazed by her question. He then looked thoughtful for a moment. "But beyond that … I remember that I always wanted to stay in New York, but now …" he grimaced slightly, his eyes darting to the windows of the restaurant, where night had fallen. "Far too many people for my liking."

He tilted his head, his eyes going slightly out of focus as he thought back. "I remember that my grandparents had a large farm out in Indiana," he continued, making her blink at him since she hadn't known that since he didn't speak much of what little he remembered of his family.

"I think I'd like something like that. The solitude and isolation …" He gave her a small smile. "Like we had at the cabin," he finished, reaching across the table to take her hand once more, sweeping his thumb over her knuckles.

Katherine took a breath, looking down at the table.

"It's funny you should mention that …" she said slowly, glancing up at him.

"Hmm?" he said questioningly, prompting her to continue.

"The cabin," she said. "I, um … I bought it," she admitted quietly, unsure how he would take this news. "... For us."

Bucky was simply staring at her, his mouth slightly open and his brow furrowed.

Katherine immediately started babbling to fill the silence. "The money I got from selling my code to Tony was absolutely _insane_ and I managed to track down the owner of the cabin, Mr Harris, and he was willing to sell it and -"

"You bought the cabin in Canada, the cabin that we stayed in," he interrupted, still staring at her. "For us."

She nodded, biting her lip and wondering at his reaction.

Bucky got to his feet and walked around the table, dropping to one knee beside her.

For a brief moment Katherine nearly had a heart attack at the implications of his position, but he simply reached out to cup her face in one hand, looking at her in wonder.

"I don't know what to say," he told her, still looking utterly amazed at this revelation. "The cabin - _our_ cabin …"

She covered the hand cupping her cheek with her own, inordinately pleased with how happy he was at the news.

"I wanted somewhere we could go," she explained. "Somewhere safe, somewhere ... ours."

She lowered his hand from her face, turning it palm upwards so that she could play with his fingers.

"We could go, if you want," she offered, peeking up at him from beneath her lashes and hoping that he would agree. "When you get back from Sokovia. Take a few days, just us …"

A wide grin broke out over Bucky's face, the largest smile she had yet seen from him, and the sight of it nearly stopped her heart.

"I'd like that," he said, still smiling. Leaning up, he kissed her elatedly before drawing back. "More than anything … I'd like that."

The restaurant suddenly burst into applause, making both of them jump.

Looking around, they saw people were watching them and clapping with wide smiles.

"They think you just proposed to me," she muttered to a thoroughly bewildered Bucky, who was still on one knee beside her, feeling her face heating once more as one couple even raised their glasses at them in a toast.

His confusion cleared and he gave her a wry, almost sheepish grin. "Would you say yes if I did?" he wanted to know, still knelt on the floor.

Katherine stared at him with wide eyes, trying to make out whether he was being serious or not.

"I would say _not yet,"_ she said eventually, casting a small, only marginally awkward smile his way. "This is our first date, after all," she reminded him teasingly.

"Not yet, eh?" Bucky said, getting to his feet and extending a gloved hand to help her up as well. He slung his arm comfortably around her shoulders as they made to leave the restaurant. "I'll keep that in mind, doll."

* * *

It was dark outside by the time they left, with the city lit by streetlights and passing cars. The summer night was warm and so by wordless agreement they started the long walk back towards the tower rather than getting a cab again, both of them wanting to stretch the evening out more. Bucky still had his arm slung around her shoulder as they walked, with her arm around his waist in turn, and she enjoyed the way that she was cuddled into his body.

There was a quiet, comfortable silence between them as they walked through the streets of Brooklyn. Before long, they came to the Brooklyn Bridge and started to make their way back to Manhattan, where the bright A of Avengers Tower was clear among the buildings.

"Was this alright?" Bucky asked eventually, breaking the silence as they approached the middle of the bridge.

Katherine glanced up at him questioningly while they walked and he elaborated.

"The date," he said, then shrugged slightly. "I don't remember much of dating in the forties, I want to make sure this was okay."

"It was lovely," she said honestly, smiling up at him as he nodded in satisfaction.

There was a brief pause, then she spoke once more. "You said you don't remember much of dating, are there any parts that you do remember?" she wanted to know, curious since she had heard so many stories from Steve.

His gaze was centered over the lights of the city skyline. "Well, there is this …"

All of a sudden, Bucky stopped walking and pulled her in close towards him - his metal hand was held in hers and his flesh arm was around her waist.

Katherine's free hand flew instinctively to his shoulder to steady herself and then she laughed delightedly as she realised that they were _dancing –_ or rather, _attempting_ to dance.

Bucky lead her in a few stumbling steps, then surprised her again by spinning her out.

Utterly uncoordinated with just how giddy she was at the romance of the situation, she stepped on his toes as he pulled her back against him.

"You're terrible at this," he chided, casting a small, sideways grin down at her. He didn't seem to be particularly bothered by her clumsiness, even when she stepped on his toes for a second time.

"I really am," she agreed as she peered down at their feet, still trying to catch the rhythm of their steps. She was forced to admit to herself that she was not that great at dancing even though the desire to be was there.

"Don't look at your feet," he advised - when she didn't do as he said, still staring down at her feet and trying to figure out what she was doing wrong, he put his mouth right to her ear, whispering, "Eyes on me, doll."

The endearment that she was coming to love caught her attention. She looked up and he immediately kissed her, keeping one of her hands in his own whilst his flesh hand slipped an inch or so lower on the small of her back, keeping her pressed against him.

Their dancing turned slow, gently turning on the spot as they continued to kiss, blissfully unaware of the people smiling amusedly at them as they passed them on the bridge.

* * *

There was an undeniable, quiet tension as Katherine and Bucky rode up the elevator to Steve's floor of Avengers Tower. They were silent, hand in hand, watching the little numbers of the floor flash as the elevator ascended.

Katherine kept glancing at Bucky, finding herself feeling uncharacteristically shy once more; noticing her watching him, he caught her eye and she ducked her head, tucking a loose curl behind her ear as she did so.

The elevator doors opened to reveal a dark corridor, with no sign of Steve anywhere on the floor.

Quietly, Katherine and Bucky made their way to their bedroom, still hand in hand, and Bucky softly closed the door behind them.

The room was lit only by the lights of the city beyond the windows, casting a dim orange glow over everything.

Katherine kicked off her heels and then paused in the centre of the room. Looking back over her shoulder, she found that Bucky had lingered by the door, watching her carefully.

There was a charged atmosphere between them. Not having been on a date had been one of the things stopping them from going further physically and both of them were aware of it.

Taking a deep breath, Katherine turned so that her back was to him.

"Would you mind unzipping me?" she asked softly, pulling her curled hair over one shoulder as she did so.

She felt, rather than heard, his approach. She knew that he was behind her when she felt his breath stirring her hair.

Agonisingly slow, he drew the zip of her dress all the way down like he was savouring every inch of skin revealed. He paused for several seconds when he had her dress completely undone, then lightly ran a flesh knuckle up the length of her spine.

She realised that he must have intentionally removed his gloves before approaching, the thought making her shiver.

His hands came to rest gently on her shoulders, hesitating there for a long moment before he carefully started to push the dress down her arms.

It would have been easy for her to hold the dress up if she wished, but Katherine allowed the dress to slip from her body, falling to pool at her feet in a puddle of red fabric. She'd both hoped and expected that the night would end in intimacy of some kind and subsequently had dressed in her sexiest underwear; a dark red, lacy set that she had bought specifically to match her dress.

Turning to face him, she noted with satisfaction how his gaze roved all over her body before lifting to her face once more. She had a few insecurities from her past failed relationship, but the dark look in his eyes was enough to melt them all away.

Bucky took her face gently in both hands and she closed her eyes. She parted her lips as she felt him place a featherlight kiss first on one eyelid, then the other. He moved his mouth to graze over her forehead, down one temple and across one cheek. Breathless laughter escaped her as he lightly kissed the very tip of her nose, but the sound was lost as he covered her mouth with his own.

Swaying as they kissed, her hands came up to grip his shoulders to steady herself. He tilted her face to gain a better angle, his tongue darting out to touch her lower lip. Obligingly, her lips parted for him and Bucky was quick to deepen the kiss, his hands moving to slide down her back and pull her closer against him until their bodies were flush together.

Katherine's hands moved in turn to the tie at his neck, her fingers scrambling to pull it free. The tie came loose and she tossed it to one side, but only managed to get two buttons of his shirt undone before her feet were abruptly swept out from beneath her.

She gasped as Bucky picked her up bridal style, her arms automatically wrapping around his neck and their kiss breaking. He crossed the room in three strides as he carried her towards the bed with absurd ease.

Lowering her carefully down among the pillows on the centre of the bed, he followed her down, poised above her with his weight braced on both of his hands.

Katherine reached up and placed a single hand on his cheek.

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly, noting the determined glint in his eyes.

Bucky nodded, then lowered his mouth to her neck.

"Just … promise you'll tell me if I hurt you," he breathed into the hollow of her throat, his breath scorching her skin.

"I will," she whispered back as he pressed his mouth to her racing pulse point. Her legs instinctively parted, allowing him to settle between them, and already she could feel his hardness pressing against her core.

"We'll take it slow," he added in a murmur against the skin of her collarbone, sounding like he was trying to convince himself as much as her.

"As slow as you like," she agreed, looping her arms around his neck with her hands in his hair, turning his face back to hers once more.

Taking the hint, he kissed her again, pressing her back against the pillows.

They kissed like that for a long moment, before Katherine's hands moved to the buttons of his shirt once more. Slowly, one by one, she undid each of the buttons without breaking the kiss until his shirt was hanging open over his sculpted chest, allowing her hands to roam over the planes of his torso.

Bucky drew back and sat up on his knees to pull the shirt off, only to curse softly under his breath when he realised that the buttons at the cuffs were still done up.

Smiling, Katherine sat up too to help him; he held both of his hands out palm upwards to her; it was an oddly vulnerable position, one that showcased the difference in his metal and flesh hands. She undid the cuffs one by one and the shirt was tossed to the floor.

He took a moment to simply gaze at her, gently pushing a stray curl out of her face and tucking it behind her ear before kissing her again.

They remained sat up as they kissed, with Bucky kneeling between her still spread legs. The new position freed his hands since he was not holding his weight off her and they started to rove over her body.

The contrast between metal and flesh was evident as his hands moved from her hips, up over her waist and came to cover both of her breasts. Moving to her back, he made surprisingly swift work of the clasp of her bra, which joined the rest of their clothing on the floor.

Again, he drew back to look at her and Katherine felt her nipples pebble and harden under his gaze. The fingers of his flesh hand traced the chain of his dog tags that she still wore, down her neck and over her collarbone until they came to toy with the metal tag itself that lay between her breasts.

Carefully, he pushed her back so that she was laying among the pillows once more, his weight braced on his metal hand as his flesh hand continued to map her body. His mouth followed the path of his hand, making her gasp and arch her back as took first one nipple, then the other, into his mouth, sucking hard and scraping with his teeth.

Seemingly encouraged by her gasps, he moved back upwards to kiss her with even greater passion.

His flesh hand slid down her thigh, looping around her knee to hitch her leg up higher - taking the hint, Katherine locked her legs around his waist, her heels digging into his back.

This new position had their lower bodies pressed tightly together, his hardness evident between her spread legs as they rocked into each other.

Katherine's hands were gripping on to his belt when a sudden thought crossed her mind.

"Oh God, I'm so stupid," she breathed, staring up at the ceiling.

Bucky drew back from where he had been kissing the sensitive spot just below her ear, frowning at her in confusion, probably wondering if she had changed her mind.

"I, um … don't suppose you have any protection?" she asked awkwardly, looking up at him still poised above her.

His eyes widened.

"No," he said simply - she didn't know how things were done in the forties, but he was clearly thinking of this for the first time also. "Do you?"

Katherine shook her head.

"Funnily enough, it hasn't exactly been a priority with you gone," she said with a wry grin, trying to make light of the situation. She bit her lip, thinking it through. "Tony has private doctors on call in the tower, I can make an appointment and get something sorted easily enough." She gave him a wan smile. "I'm sure you'd agree that neither of us is ready to be a parent."

Bucky drew back even further, his frown deepening. "Katya, I …"

She watched as his mouth opened and closed for a moment before he was finally able to express himself. "I don't actually know if that's ... possible for me," he told her slowly, the corners of his mouth pulled distinctly down and a deep crease between his brows. "With everything that Hydra did …"

"Oh Bucky …" she whispered to him in the dim light as he trailed off, gazing up at him and feeling that her heart might break for him.

"Does that bother you?" he asked her cautiously, still frowning down at her.

She hesitated for a brief moment, then firmly shook her head.

"It's just … something else that you never had a choice about," she replied quietly, feeling deeply for him and all that he'd had taken from him by Hydra.

The flash of pain and vulnerability in his eyes told her that she had hit the mark with this comment.

Wanting to comfort him, she reached up to take his face in her hands, drawing him down to gently kiss his frowning mouth.

"If you wanted to know for sure then there are ways that you could find out," she told him practically in a soft voice. "But as far as I am concerned …" She kissed him once more, letting her mouth linger a little longer this time. "... We can cross that bridge when we get to it."

Looking marginally relieved, Bucky gave her a slow nod.

He leaned down to kiss her lightly once more, with far less passion than before. He then carefully detangled himself from her legs and moved off her, shifting so that he was laying on his back beside her. He drew her to him, his hands moving slowly over the bare skin of her back. He exhaled a deep breath as he held her close to his chest, like he was trying to regain control after their passion.

"But, umm …" Katherine said awkwardly after a long moment, since he seemed to have put an end to their intimacy. "Just because we don't have protection doesn't mean we can't do anything else."

This was met with silence and she propped herself up on her elbow to look at him; Bucky's face was a frown of faint confusion, a crease between his brows.

Smiling slightly at his bewildered expression, Katherine leaned forwards to kiss him once more.

With her hands at his shoulders to keep him flat on his back, she moved to straddle his hips. His large hands came up to splay out over her back and she felt him suck in a breath as she settled above him, his hardness pressed up against her core.

Lowering her mouth, she kissed her way down his neck, the stubble of his beard rough against her lips. Gently, she pressed a kiss first to his collarbone, then to the ridge of red scar tissue where metal met flesh.

She risked a glance up at him as she did so, wanting to make sure he was comfortable with her touching that particular area, and found his gaze fixed upon her, a look of wonder intermingled with the desire in his eyes.

Pleased, Katherine kissed a line down the scars, feeling the contrast of skin and metal beneath her lips, before she moved her way across to his chest, her bare breasts brushing against his torso as she did so. She shifted her weight down his body so that she was sat on his thighs and his hands moved to her hair instead, no longer able to reach her back.

She savoured the ridges of his muscled abdomen as she kissed her way slowly down his stomach, listening to the sound of his breaths coming quickly above her.

Shifting even lower so that she was sat on his knees, she placed a gentle kiss just below his belly button and Bucky flexed in response, like his whole body was twitching involuntarily.

"Katya," he said in a strangled voice, his hands reflexively tightening in her hair.

Katherine glanced up once more as her mouth grazed the waistband of his trousers. "Is this okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yes," he replied instantly in a rasping voice, his hands gentling and moving to push her hair out of her eyes instead. His breathing was rapid, making his chest and stomach flex with every breath, and his pupils were blown wide with desire. "God - yes, darlin.'

Emboldened, she moved her hands to his belt to undo it. The button of his trousers followed and he lifted his hips, allowing her to pull the material down his legs. There was a brief scuffle as he kicked off his shoes as well, since his trousers had got caught around his ankles, but after a moment he was laying there wearing just a pair of dark grey boxers that had a distinct tent in them, propped up on his elbows so that he could look down at her.

Gently, she touched him through the material, finding him fully hard and ready, and he groaned loudly in response, his head thrown back. She made to pull his underwear down too, with him lifting his hips once more to help her, and she got her first proper look at him.

Everything about Bucky's frame screamed large and thick, and this was no exception - in fact, her eyes widened briefly at the size, more than a little daunted.

With her gaze fixed on him to gauge his reaction, Katherine wrapped a hand around his straining cock, her fingers barely touching around him, and pumped her hand.

Bucky's jaw went slack as he stared down at her, another groan escaping him as she increased the pressure and speed. "K-Katya …" he breathed, like it was the only word he remembered, his hands clenched tightly in the sheets beside him.

"If you want me to stop, just say so," she said quietly as she continued to work her hand, worried that she was pushing him too far with this.

"Hell no," he rasped instantly in response, watching her with an almost incredulous look, like he couldn't believe what was happening. " _Блядь_ \- don't stop, sweetheart."

After a long moment Katherine briefly bit her lip, contemplating taking him in her mouth.

It was an act that she had always enjoyed, despite knowing that others found it distasteful. She liked the reactions that it provoked and she wanted to see if she could bring Bucky, metaphorically, to his knees.

Holding his gaze, she drew her tongue up the underside of his shaft, watching as he drew in a sharp, shocked breath. Lowering her eyes to focus on what she was doing, she settled her mouth over the head, sucking lightly, and heard the sudden tearing of material, no doubt the bed sheets beneath his clenched hands.

" _Katya_ …" he said once more, his voice strained and hoarse.

She drew back and blew lightly on the head and he groaned at the sensation, a deep and guttural sound.

Wrapping her hand around the base, she took his length fully into her mouth as best she could and he collapsed back on the bed, letting out a stream of curses in Russian as he did so.

Suddenly, his hands were in her hair once more - not holding her or moving her, but pushing her hair out of the way like he wanted to see her face. " _Блядь_ ," he said once more, and she strongly suspected it was a Russian swear word of some kind. "Darlin,' I'm so close …"

She glanced up at him, but made no move to draw back.

" _Katya_ ," he said, his voice holding a hint of warning in case she did want to pull back. "Katya, I'm -"

His words were cut off by a final, deep groan as his hands briefly tightened in her hair.

Katherine released him after a few more gentle pumps of her hand, savouring the sight of him; he was stark naked with a sheen of sweat covering his skin, sated and satisfied with his eyes closed and his breaths coming quickly as he recovered.

All of a sudden, his eyes opened and met hers - there was a dark, determined glint in them.

Faster than she would have thought possible, Katherine found herself seized and flipped onto her back among the torn bed sheets. Bucky was hovering above her once more and she had scarcely half a second to catch her breath before his mouth swept down to plunder hers.

His kiss was less gentle now, more aggressive, and Katherine clutched both of her hands in his hair to kiss him back with equal enthusiasm.

He was once more bracing his weight on his metal arm, while his flesh hand mapped her body. He toyed with the hem of the underwear for a moment and, when she didn't protest, allowed his hand to dip down to fully cup her mound. She arched against him as he did so and he broke the kiss, his eyes intent on her face and scrutinising her reaction.

Katherine gasped at the sensation as he touched her through her panties, wondering if he could feel just how wet she was through the material. His touch was light and teasing, his fingers trailing over her sensitive flesh and making her whimper.

"Bucky, please …" she whispered as she clutched his shoulders, her heart racing in her chest.

Wordlessly, he sat up and hooked the fingers of both hands into the waistband of her underwear. He drew them slowly down her legs, his eyes fixed on hers the entire time, leaving them both completely naked.

Feeling shy and exposed, Katherine had instinctively pressed her legs together to cover herself without her underwear and she bit down hard on her lip.

His hands came to rest on her knees, his thumbs drawing circles on her skin.

"Spread those pretty thighs for me, darlin,'" he said, his voice a low rasp in the dim light of the room.

Taking a deep breath for courage, she slowly parted her legs; Bucky's hands slid up her inner thighs as she did so, gently spreading her legs wider.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly, no doubt picking up on her hesitancy and wanting to check that she was comfortable.

Katherine nodded, her eyes locked with his.

"I want this," she said honestly, her voice only shaking slightly as her heart continued to race.

Bucky nodded slowly, then lowered his gaze to look at her.

"Show me, doll," he ordered with his hands lingering on her inner thighs, glancing up to meet her eyes once more. "Show me how you like to be touched."

His use of her favorite nickname increased the speed of her breaths and Katherine lowered a trembling hand down between her own legs. Somehow touching herself while he watched intently felt even more intimate than him touching her.

"H-here," she said, her voice shaking as she circled the sensitive nub of her clitoris, the touch of her own hand making her twitch. "Your finger inside me, then - then your thumb here."

Leaning over her, Bucky's flesh hand move between her legs. He parted her folds and his middle finger inched inside her until it was buried to the knuckle, the sensation making her close her eyes and tilt her head back on the pillows. He thrust lightly a few times, then cupped her completely with his finger still inside her to rub the heel of his hand against her clitoris.

"Like this?" he checked as she arched her back at the pressure on her clit.

"Yes, _yes_ ," she breathed, her eyes closed, her own hands clenched in the ruined bed sheets beneath her.

"So damn beautiful …" Bucky murmured as if to himself, finding a rhythm with his hand, his long finger brushing a particularly sensitive spot deep inside her with each thrust that made her whimper.

Bucky's metal hand had been splayed out on her thigh to keep her legs spread wide for him, but it gradually shifted down to her knee; lifting her leg, he hooked it over his shoulder, keeping it in place with his metal hand and spreading her even wider.

Katherine was too lost in rapture to feel self conscious, her body arching as she keened and moaned.

Suddenly, she felt the rough stubble of Bucky's beard on the inner thigh of the leg that she had hooked over his shoulder as he pressed a kiss there. Her eyes flew open and found him watching her, his gaze dark and intent. He kissed her thigh again, higher this time, like he was asking for permission.

"Please," she whispered, her eyes sliding closed again, as he continued to touch her with his flesh hand. " _Please_ , Bucky."

Lowering his mouth to her core, he licked a firm stroke from her opening to then circle her clitoris, eliciting a strangled scream from her at the sensation. His mouth settled on her sensitive nub, sucking hard, and the finger inside her was replaced by two, stretching her out.

"Oh _God_ ," she moaned, arching off the bed and kept in place only by his firm grip. " _Bucky_ , please - _please_ ," she garbled as she tossed her head among the pillows, the wave of her pleasure rising within her and threatening to overwhelm her.

"God, you taste so good, sweetheart," he said against her, his fingers moving faster and faster, hitting that sensitive spot with every thrust. "Are you gonna come for me, darlin'?"

"Yes, _yes_ -" she said with a gasp, cutting herself off as his mouth returned to her clitoris once more. "Oh _God_ , Bucky ... _Yes_ , I -"

Katherine came with a faint scream as the wave of her pleasure peaked and broke, her hands fisting in the blankets and her back arched off the bed as her inner muscles clenched over and over again.

Bucky kept his mouth on her, his strong arms holding her still against him as she arched and twitched, mercilessly wringing every last shudder from her until she weakly had to push his head away.

Gasping, Katherine collapsed back onto the bed and closed her eyes, her body still twitching with pleasure as he continued small, shallow thrusts with his fingers.

She felt another kiss being placed on her inner thigh, her leg still hooked over his shoulder, and opened her eyes to look at him.

"B-Bucky?" she said breathlessly, since his fingers were still inside her and he had made no motion to move, still placing gentle kisses on her inner thigh as she recovered.

"I could kiss you here all night," he murmured into her skin, then turned to face her. His stormy, wintery eyes were dark with determination and the fingers inside her thrust deeper once more, hitting that sweet spot again and watching with satisfaction as she gasped and whimpered at the sensation, her body overly sensitive. "In fact ... I think I will."

* * *

The following morning Katherine woke to the feeling of someone pressing soft, light kisses down the length of her spine.

Opening her eyes, she found clothes strewn around the room. She was laying completely naked, on her front amidst the ruined bedding, her whole body boneless and exhausted.

"I have to go, darlin,'" Bucky's voice said from above her, busy kissing his way down to her lower back. "Wheels up in fifteen minutes."

Turning her head, she found Bucky poised above her, fully dressed in his tactical gear with an array of weapons on her person, ready for the mission against Strucker's base in Sokovia.

She stretched, remaining on her front, her eyes briefly closing, not quite awake yet. "Hmmm, last night was …"

"The best night of my damn life," Bucky finished for her, pressing a last, lingering kiss to the small of her back. He grinned at her - a full, genuine smile that lit his whole face. "And I'm nearly a hundred years old."

Katherine turned, pulling the cover of the bed with her for modesty as she did so. "Quite the cradle robber, being with me," she teased, smiling at him and feeling incandescently happy.

"Yeah, well options around my own age are somewhat limited," Bucky replied dryly, leaning in to kiss her neck instead since she had rolled over to reveal her front to him.

She laughed and tilted her head back, savouring the feel of his mouth on her neck. "Stay safe," she said simply, knowing that he had to leave.

"Hmmm, I will," he replied absently, having unerringly found the particularly sensitive spot just beneath her ear that always made her melt for him.

"We can pick up where we left off back at the cabin," Katherine offered breathlessly with her eyes closed, craning her neck back among the pillows so that he could better reach her skin.

"Sounds like a plan," he agreed, taking her earlobe between his teeth, letting it drag through and eliciting a faint gasp from her.

"... Thought you had to leave?" she said several minutes later since he showed every sign of wanting to continue to pleasure her as he had for hours last night, arching her back and pressing her naked form against his fully clothed body.

"You're making it so damn difficult," Bucky grumbled against her skin, the warmth of his breath scorching her throat.

Laughing at his annoyance, Katherine finally pushed him away. "Go on," she said, sitting up and holding the ruined duvet up to cover herself as she did so. "Go be a hero."

Bucky looked at her strangely for a moment at those words, then he leaned forward to give her a last, lingering kiss before leaving the room.

Katherine collapsed back among pillows, thinking back to night before.

Bucky had … surprised her.

She knew from their previous intimacy that he was careful and controlled with her. He had been slightly wary for fear of hurting her, not to mention his old-fashioned morals coming in to play as well. But as they had explored each other, with her initially taking the lead, his hesitance had melted away. She had seen glimpses of the no doubt charming, even cocky man he'd once been mingling with the domineering nature of the soldier.

And super soldier stamina was not to be ignored either - Bucky had kept her up for _hours_ , diligently mapping every single sensitive spot on her entire body, pleasuring her again and again with his flesh hand (she'd noticed that he never once tried to touch her intimately with his metal hand) and mouth until, exhausted, she had begged for a rest.

Katherine had a strong suspicion that she might have to accustom herself to getting less sleep than she was used too, especially once she got contraception sorted.

Turning her head among the pillows, she noticed a cup of tea on the bedside table and grinned fondly at the sight of it, knowing that Bucky must have made it for her before waking her to leave for Sokovia.

She stretched once more, feeling the delicious ache in several of her muscles, and then started to get up - after all, she had a doctor's appointment to make.

* * *

 **Big thank you to** _ **auntkia**_ **for betaing for me!**

 **For those of you who are curious about what Bucky was saying …**

 _ **Возможно, я поговорю с тобой по-русски в следующий раз, когда мы будем в постели - Maybe I will talk to you in Russian next time we are in bed.**_

 **If any of you readers do happen to speak Russian and that is wrong, I apologise - though blame google translate instead of me!**

 **Hope you all enjoyed the chapter - leave a review, my lovelies!**


	23. Return to Canada

The quinjet touched down in a clearing a few miles from Strucker's Sokovia base, camouflaged by the retro-reflective panels and undetectable to Hydra's radar. The team checked their comms and gathered their weapons, with Bucky making liberal use of Natalia's collection on the plane to augment what he'd already bought with him.

"Mind if I borrow this?" Steve asked him thoughtfully as they made their preparations, running a hand over the motorbike that Bucky had left on the plane a few days ago.

Bucky simply shrugged his agreement as he deftly loaded ammo in the borrowed guns; with a final nod at Steve, he turned and jogged into the trees.

The team was having yet another briefing before they engaged to attack the base, leaving Bucky enough time to get into position.

His strengths were in assassination and stealth attacks and he had been honest when he had claimed that he felt that he would not be good on a team; as such, it had been agreed that he would find a strategic position and provide cover while the team engaged.

Moving swiftly and silently, he took out several Hydra scouting parties before reaching a high ridge that looked promising, affording a view down to the forest below, as well as the city and old base to one side. Laying down on his front, he quickly and efficiently loaded his rifle.

"In position," he murmured into his comms device with his eyes fixed on the base and old memories of missions with Steve and the Howling Commandos rising to the surface of his mind.

"That's our cue," he heard Stark's drawling reply from the device in his ear. "Alright team, it's go-time."

His words were immediately followed by an explosion in the direction of the quinjet, a deliberate and planned lure to flush Strucker's men out of their bunkers. Seeing them emerge from their cover, Bucky waited until several of them had broken cover before he started to pick them off one by one, thinning the groups.

 _Go and be a hero_ , Katherine had said innocently when he'd left her in bed that morning, her face bright with affection that he still didn't completely understand.

Dispassionately, he pulled the trigger and watched through the scope as another faceless man fell to the ground, never to rise again.

He wasn't a hero, he was a killer.

Below him, the Avengers were making their way through the forest that flanked the Hydra base, Steve on the motorbike he'd borrowed whereas Natalia and Clint were in a jeep that they had commandeered. Bucky blinked as he caught a glimpse of Banner in his other form (evidently something had happened to make this a _code green_ , as he'd dubbed it) crashing through the trees. Banner was followed by a lightning bolt from Thor, whom he had only met on the plane that morning. He watched as Stark flew up to probe the base, only to crash into an energy field with a loud curse.

"Language!" Steve immediately chided with indignation in response to Stark's cursing, making Bucky frown in sudden surprise - he didn't have many memories of Steve or his life before Hydra, but he was fairly certain that both of them had often sworn a blue-streak when they had been in the army.

Straining to access the old memories distracted him for several long seconds, but he was brought back to reality when Steve flipped off the borrowed bike, using the bike itself as a weapon and throwing it towards some Hydra soldiers.

He sighed in exasperation - it looked like he wasn't getting that bike back any time soon.

* * *

Several hours later the team was back on the plane, bound for New York once more. The base had been taken, Strucker was a prisoner of NATO and the sceptre that the Avengers had been searching for was in their possession.

The mission had not been a complete success however - Clint had been hurt and was currently laying on one of the benches in the plane.

He was in no immediate danger and so Bucky and Steve had elected to stay out of the way, letting Natalia tend to her friend. Steve was quietly telling him about the two enhanced individuals that he had encountered. "One male and one female," he said factually, like he was giving a report. "He was fast, like a blur, and she was …"

Steve trailed off, making Bucky frown at him once more.

"Hydra experimented on them," Bucky said, almost pitying the two people - he, more than anyone, knew what cruelties Hydra was capable of to those that they deemed their _assets_.

"You know anything about that?" Steve asked seriously, looking at him out of the corner of his eye.

Bucky shook his head.

"Not my area," he said honestly - it hadn't been his remit to question things or even look to closely at his surroundings, when he had been the Soldier he'd simply had to follow their orders.

"Yes, yes," Thor was saying absently from beside them, talking to Stark. "The victory should be honoured with revels."

"Yeah, who doesn't love _revels_?" Stark replied, apparently talking about a farewell party of some kind, then turned to Steve to offer an invitation. "Captain?"

"Hopefully this puts an end to both the Chituari and Hydra - so yes, revels," he agreed with a small smile.

Bucky's mouth thinned at this comment but he didn't say anything; he did not believe that this was the end of Hydra by any means.

"How about you, Barnes?" Tony asked, addressing him in turn.

He blinked, more than a little surprised at the invitation that seemed to be genuinely offered out of friendliness rather than obligation.

"Katherine and I were going to head to the cabin for a few days," he said slowly, anticipating that this would mean missing the planned party but not begrudging that in the slightest if it meant spending time alone with her.

Stark snorted. "Meaning 'Tony, can we please borrow one of your planes?'" he said amusedly, raising an eyebrow at him; Bucky looked at him in faint confusion and he elaborated. "She's been back to your little love nest a few times since she bought it, she's got the coordinates set to auto pilot and Jarvis knows what to do." He clapped a hand on his shoulder, an easy, familiar and friendly motion. "Come to the party next time though."

* * *

The following day saw Katherine and Bucky driving a small jeep down narrow, winding country roads in the Canadian wilderness. A small plane, one that was capable of vertical take off and large enough for a handful of passengers with a car in the cargo hold, was parked in the very same clearing that Steve and Sam Wilson had landed the quinjet in several long months ago when they had first left the cabin for Avengers Tower.

It was late summer, though the high altitude ensured that there was still a distinct bite of cold in the air. The trees were full green, though there were spots of yellow among the leaves the heralded the oncoming autumn. The mountains above them were revealed to be grey stone, no longer snow covered except for at the very tips of the peaks.

Bucky was driving the borrowed jeep, once more wearing his old flannel shirts and jeans as opposed to the tactical gear he'd been wearing when he'd returned from Sokovia, though he had neglected to put the faded cap back on, leaving his long, jaggedly cut hair hanging around his collar. He looked distinctly relaxed, driving with his metal hand on the wheel while his flesh hand was entwined with hers, letting it go only on occasion to change gear.

They made their way down the long, winding road and within minutes were pulling up in front of the cabin. It was a different sight in summer; the log cabin sat among green grass, framed by the high mountains and looking down on to a sparkling blue lake that was no longer frozen solid.

Bucky pulled up the jeep and they both got out of the car, with Katherine wrapping her light jacket around herself for warmth since, despite the bright sunshine, the alpine air was still cold.

They made their way to the door and Katherine pulled a small set of keys out of her jacket pocket.

"No need to break the lock this time," she said smilingly, referring to how he had used his metal hand to simply break the lock when they had first arrived all those months ago.

She barely had the door open when her feet were abruptly swept out from under her.

"Bucky!" she said laughingly as he pushed the door open with his foot, carrying her inside bridal style.

"Carrying a woman over the threshold of a new home is traditional," he told her simply, a hint of a smile pulling one corner of his mouth up as they entered the cabin.

She was pretty sure that the tradition he was referring to was only after getting married, but she wasn't going to question it, simply wrapping her arms around his neck while she grinned hugely up at him.

Bucky carried her all the way to the middle of the living room, then carefully lowered his arms to allow her to step down so that he could better look around.

"You've changed things," he observed quietly, gazing around the cabin. His grey-blue gaze moved over the new, carved table and chairs, the plush sofa and the large television set now mounted into the wall. One of the very few original features remaining from their time in the cabin was the shag rug that still sat in front of the fire.

"Just a bit," she said, watching as he crossed to the bookshelf to examine the new selection of books that now lined the shelves. "Mr Harris wanted to keep most of his furniture in the sale."

He didn't reply, his metal hand moving over the spines of the books as he read them. She had furnished those shelves with both of them in mind - they contained some of her favourites, books on computer coding, recent history books for him, numerous classics that he would have missed out on, a handful of spy thrillers and some blank notebooks.

"Do you ... like it?" she asked cautiously, wondering what he would make of the changes she had made.

He turned to face her and gave her a small, though genuine smile that lit his whole face. "It's perfect."

* * *

"The jewel appears to be a protective housing for something inside," Jarvis said smoothly, reporting on the analysis he had been running on Loki's sceptre. "Something powerful."

"Like a reactor?" Tony asked, busy pouring a smoothie for Clint, who was still recovering from his injury.

"Like a computer," Jarvis corrected. "I believe I am deciphering code."

"Huh," Tony said, finding that fascinating given that it was alien tech they were studying. "Get Bonnie up here."

"I'm afraid Miss Summers and Sergeant Barnes have already left for Canada," Jarvis told him.

Tony rolled his eyes slightly. "Of course they have," he muttered, feeling mildly annoyed at the fact, though not truly begrudging her the time away given how mopey she had been while Barnes had been gone.

Katherine Summers was something of a prodigy in computers and she had picked up a lot of the slack for things that he simply didn't have the time to devote his attention to - had she been here her insight would have been invaluable given these unusual readings. "Right, let's pull up the specs for those elements that you _can_ quantify."

* * *

Night had fallen and Bucky and Katherine were sat outside the cabin. Bucky had dug a simple fire pit for them and Katherine had spread a blanket beside it, giving them a place to sit as they looked out over the still, dark waters of the lake that reflected the moon and scattered stars above.

Bucky had his back braced against an old tree stump with Katherine between his legs, leaning back against his chest with his arms around her. They had been talking softly, but an easy, companionable silence had fallen between them and he suspected that she was starting to doze off against him.

If there was one thing that Bucky had genuinely come to dislike, it was being cold; the cold bought back unpleasant memories that were better left undisturbed. While the alpine air had a distinct chill to it, the heat of the fire and warmth of Katherine's body were more than enough to keep it at bay. He could feel each of her steady breaths, in time with his, and even the gentle pulse of her heartbeat as he held her close.

He turned his nose to her hair, closing his eyes and breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo.

Here, in the mountains with Katherine in his arms, he felt almost completely at peace.

He would never be a good man, a _hero_ , as she had said, but after the mission in Sokovia he had come to the conclusion that he could use his skills and do bad things with the aim of helping others.

Unlike when he had served Hydra.

He was not good, like Steve was, but he was no longer bad either; he was finding his way down a middle path.

And Katherine was walking that path right alongside him. He knew that she was far too good, too innocent, for the likes of him, but she was also the reason that he had managed to find contentment, even happiness, after the long, dark and cold years he'd spent with Hydra. They had even talked a little about their future and she seemed determined to stay with him - he still didn't completely understand why, but he wasn't questioning his good fortune too closely.

Katherine sighed and shifted slightly against him and Bucky tightened his arms around her in response as he continued to breathe in the scent of her.

He loved her, plain and simple.

He wouldn't have thought that he was capable of love after Hydra and everything that he had done, but Katherine had softly and gently worked her way into every facet of his being, accepting him for who he was, calming him and supporting him.

Back when he had been Sergeant Bucky Barnes serving in the war, all he had wanted from life had been to serve his country and then return home, find a wife, have children, a good job and a house for his family.

Well, that future wasn't really possible for him any more, but he could still have Katherine – as long as she would have him - and they could make this cabin a home.

She shifted again and he nuzzled her neck in response.

"Come on, love," he whispered in her ear as she blinked and stirred. "Time for bed."

She sleepily hummed her agreement and allowed Bucky to pull her to her feet so that they could make their way back to the cabin. Bucky bundled up the blanket they had been resting on and they simply left the fire to burn down; it was far enough away from anything that it could be left unattended.

Yawning, Katherine made her way into the bathroom first while Bucky added a few more logs to be fireplace in the bedroom to keep out the chill.

She emerged from the bathroom still fully dressed a few minutes later, looking more awake than she had before, and gave him a small, almost shy, smile as she headed over to her bag to find night clothes.

He took his turn in the bathroom, noting the changes that had been made in here. The most conspicuous change was the mirror; the old one had been replaced since they had left after he'd put his fist through it upon reading the decrypted files, shattering it and denting the plaster behind the mirror.

The sight of the new, unbroken mirror was a stark reminder of his strength and his need to maintain control, knowing that Katherine was waiting for him in the bedroom.

He closed his eyes and exhaled a deep breath, his mind wandering back to their night together in the tower.

She had been … glorious.

He'd taken the time to map her entire body, noting each sensitive spot that made her gasp or whimper and relishing being able to elicit such sounds from her. He'd initially been worried that he wouldn't be able to please her, but she had responded to his every touch with gratifying enthusiasm, practically begging him for more and eager to touch him in turn despite the scars that littered his body and the detested metal arm.

Hell, looking down at her as she'd kissed her way along the ridge of scar tissue that separated metal and flesh before her mouth moved even lower would be a memory that would stay with him until the day he died.

Looking in the mirror, he set his jaw determinedly - he could control his strength, he _would not_ hurt her.

He emerged from the bathroom wearing just boxer shorts to find Katherine sat at the foot of the bed waiting for him, no longer tired and sleepy. He paused in the doorway of the bedroom, gazing at her.

She was wearing her pyjamas, a flimsy cotton vest that hugged the curves of her breasts and silk shorts that revealed most of her thighs. Her face showed a combination of determination, expectation and shyness as she sat on the bed.

"Hey," she said quietly, sat with her legs pressed together and looking distinctly nervous.

"Hey," he replied simply, lingering by the bedroom doorway.

"So I, um … I went to the doctor's in the tower," she said, peeking up at him as she referred to her intention to sort protection for them.

Bucky's brows raised minutely. "And?" he asked, his voice catching ever so slightly.

"And …" Katherine trailed off, biting her lip. She smiled softly, pointedly, and half raised one shoulder, giving him a shy, yet alluring look, seeming impossibly tempting as she sat on the edge of the bed.

He turned off the light and closed the bedroom door, leaving the bedroom lit only by the dim, orange light of the flickering fire burning in the grate. He crossed the room so that he was standing right in front of her and gently reached out to cup her cheeks, the contrast between his metal and flesh hands evident on her skin. She gazed up at him in turn, completely trusting, her eyes full of desire and, dare he even think it, love.

 _I can do this,_ he thought to himself, determined to be worthy of the look he saw in her eyes. _I will not allow myself to hurt her._

Slowly, savouring the moment, he leaned down to kiss her softly.

She had her face turned up to him and he joined her on the bed, carefully pressing her down and shifting them so that she lay among the pillows. Her arms wound around his neck, her hands in his long hair to hold her to him.

Bracing his weight on his metal arm, his flesh hand toyed with the hem of her silk shorts, high on her thighs.

"I don't think you know what the sight of you in silk does to me," he murmured, lowering his mouth to kiss her neck, unerringly finding the sensitive spot just beneath her ear that always made her shiver for him. "I swear it was seeing you walk around this very cabin in that damn nightdress that first had me feeling like a man again," he added honestly.

"Bucky," she said breathlessly, smiling knowingly up at him and looking like a goddamn siren with her hair spread all over the pillows. "I know _exactly_ what I'm doing to you."

He lightly bit her earlobe in response, letting it drag through his teeth. "Minx," he said right into her ear, making her laugh once more.

Conversation halted as he covered her mouth with his own again, kissing her deeply as she arched against him.

Katherine's hands moved from his hair to his shoulders, before making their way down his back to push at the waistband of his boxer shorts. He allowed her to remove the one piece of clothing he was wearing, busying himself with kissing her collarbone as he pushed the thin straps of her top down to reveal the swell of her breasts.

Shifting so that he was laying between her thighs, Katherine wrapped her legs around his waist and locked her ankles in the small of his back, their bodies separated only by a thin layer of silk.

What followed was several minutes of moans, sighs and gasps as Bucky worked his way down, divesting her of her clothing and put into practice everything he had learned about pleasing her with both his hands and mouth during their night in the tower, wanting to make sure that she would be ready for him.

He didn't stop until she was trembling and gasping for breath beneath him, feeling smugly satisfied from the obvious pleasure he was able to coax from her.

He crawled his way back up her body, pausing to nip at her breasts, and settled between her thighs, holding his weight off her as he gazed down at her.

Katherine opened her eyes to meet his gaze, her pupils blown wide with desire and still panting for breath. She wrapped her arms around his neck once more, her hands tight in his hair, and arched into him. "Please, Bucky," she whispered, clearly ready for more.

Bucky hooked his flesh hand around her knee, hitching it higher around his waist and spreading her thighs further. "You sure about this, darlin'?" he asked, the head of his straining cock brushing against her mound.

"I'm sure," she breathed in response without a moment's hesitation, her hands moving to cup his cheeks.

She drew him close so that their foreheads were pressed together and Bucky carefully shifted to enter her.

" _Блядь_ ," he hissed, swearing in Russian under his breath as the head of his cock was engulfed in her wet heat.

He stilled almost immediately, his right arm trembling slightly as he held his weight off her even while his metal arm was steady.

"I'm going to hurt you," he said quietly, making no move to press deeper. He honestly could not see how they were going to fit, her body was tight as a fist around him and he was fearful of hurting her.

Katherine used her hands on his cheeks to tilt his face, pressing a light kiss to his frowning mouth. "Let me," she whispered, her breath fanning over his lips.

Her hands moved to his shoulders and she pushed him gently; following her lead, he allowed her to turn them so that he was on his back, with her moving above him to straddle his hips.

She leaned down to kiss him again for a long moment, then she sat up and her hand dipped between them to wrap around his shaft and guide it into her body.

He sucked in a short, sharp breath as she worked the broad head inside her once more, lowering herself slowly down onto him. Inch by inch, he was engulfed in her impossibly tight, wet heat. He groaned, both of his hands splayed on her thighs, his fingertips digging in, but then noticed that she seemed to be struggling to take all of his length.

"Are you alright?" he asked hoarsely, struggling against the instinct to move, to push deeper since he was barely halfway inside her.

"I'm fine," she gasped, panting with her head thrown back. "Just … gentle," she said, rocking her hips slightly to move herself on the length already inside her, going slightly deeper with her movements. "Start slow."

Following her movements, he shifted his hands to her waist and moved his hips to match hers, withdrawing slightly to thrust back into her. "Like this?"

"Yes, yes …" she breathed, digging her fingertips into his shoulders to spur him on.

Working on both instinct and hazy memory, Bucky moved with her, savouring just how impossibly tight and hot and wet she was around the head of his shaft. It was deeply intimate and satisfying on a primal level as well as an emotional one; he didn't remember ever feeling this close to anyone, this exposed and vulnerable, and he relished every gasp and moan, every inch of skin beneath his fingertips and every whisper of his name, _his name_ , from Katherine as they moved together.

Just as they were finding a rhythm, they stumbled - Bucky thrust up into her just as Katherine was rocking forwards and he sunk deeper than before, almost to the hilt.

She visibly winced, her eyes filling with tears as she abruptly stilled atop of him.

"Katya?" he asked urgently, sitting up to push her hair out of her eyes and ready to stop completely at her word.

"Just … just give me a moment," she whispered, her fingers tightening even further on his shoulders to keep him in place, moving so that their foreheads pressed together once more as she took several deep breaths. Her inner walls were fluttering and clenching around him like a vice, with almost his entire shaft buried within her, so tight that he was sure he could feel the pulse of her body.

After a brief moments pause, Bucky's large hands smoothed their way up her back, pressing their sweat dampened skin together, and she gripped his shoulders tightly in response, clinging to him.

"Doing so well, sweetheart," he murmured to her, feeling his heart racing as she continued to clench around him. "Can't believe how good you feel."

He felt her exhale a shaking breath and he started to place gentle, butterfly kisses over her face while she got used to him inside her, his mouth moving lightly over her cheeks, her forehead and her closed eyelids as he waited for her.

Her head was thrown back slightly and her lips parted around her panting breaths, their bodies still joined. Taking her cheeks in both of his hands, he drew her to him and pressed a light kiss to her parted lips. "Я тебя так люблю, мой дорогой," he whispered against her mouth, telling her in Russian just how much he loved her since he didn't have the courage to do otherwise.

After a long moment she shifted ever so slightly, rolling her hips tentatively forwards. She seemed to be testing the waters and with each roll off her hips seemed to be able to take his length more readily. Bucky forced himself to remain still as she rocked against him more and more, their breath mingling between them as she built up a rhythm again.

Katherine opened her eyes and met his gaze, the pain being replaced by desire once again; taking that as his cue, Bucky's hands moved to her hips.

"Katya …" he murmured, squeezing her hips and starting to guide her movements, still unable to believe how damn good she felt on him. "God, Katya …"

They settled back into a rhythm, faster and deeper than before, their sweat dampened bodies moving together. Katherine no longer seemed to be in any kind of discomfort, if the keening noises, gasps and moans she made every time he hit a certain spot deep inside her were any indication.

"Bucky, _Bucky_ -" she gasped, the sound of his name spurring him to thrust harder and faster, guided by instinct and rewarded by the delicious moans that the renewed speed elicited from her.

Her inner walls fluttered tightly around him once more, signalling her approaching orgasm, and she started to move even faster over him, chasing her pleasure, with his hands tightening on her skin in response to further help her movements.

Katherine's hands suddenly moved down to cover his own on her hips.

"A little lighter, Bucky," she murmured into his mouth around her gasping breaths, squeezing his hands pointedly.

Realising that he was holding her too tightly, he abruptly gentled his grip; Katherine guided his hands upwards to cover her breasts once more instead, biting back a moan as he palmed them.

Moving faster and faster, her hips snapped over him - she was utterly beautiful, almost wanton as she rode his length with her head thrown back in rapture.

Knowing what pleased her and what would send her over the edge, Bucky slipped his flesh hand between them to rub her clitoris. She went wild as her orgasm approached, keening and moaning, a babbled mixture of his name and _please_ and _yes_.

"Fuck, Katya," he breathed as her inner walls clenched around him, threatening to pull his own orgasm from him.

Her nails dug into his shoulders, spurring him on as he thrust harder and faster up into her, trying not to come yet since he wanted this to last. "Люблю тебя ... Я тебя очень люблю," he added hoarsely as her pleasure peaked and he elicited a strangled scream from her, telling her once again in Russian just how much he loved her.

Gasping for breath, she slowed her movements, her legs trembling and her inner walls still fluttering around him. Bucky lightly kissed her neck as she calmed down, trying to catch her breath. After a moment, she noticed that he was still fully hard inside her and raised her head, staring at him with wide eyes and looking slightly dazed and tousled.

"You didn't …" she said to him, trailing off as her breaths continued to come quickly.

In response, Bucky flipped her over so that she was beneath him on the bed again, their bodies still joined with her hair spread out over the pillow.

She gasped loudly as he slowly, deliberately, thrust deep once more, hitting that sensitive spot and making her grip his upper arms and arch into him in renewed pleasure.

He cast a smug, half smile down at her, his flesh hand finding her clit again and making her positively whimper for him.

"We're not nearly done yet, darlin,'" he drawled wryly, enjoying the way her lips parted and her eyes widened even further at his words.

* * *

The top floor of Avengers Tower was positively humming with people. Tony had invited the whole team, including those who stuck to the sidelines like Sam, Rhodey, Helen Cho and Maria Hill, as well as other SHIELD personnel, some actors, some politicians and, at Steve's request, some war veterans who had fought against Hydra in Europe during their inception.

Steve and Sam stood to one side of the bar, listening politely and giving a small smile as Rhodey told a story about a tank which fell distinctly flat among his audience. "Why do I even talk to you guys?" Rhodey complained to renewed laughter, evidently unimpressed with their reactions.

"So, no Pepper?" Rhodey asked as the laughter died down. "She's not coming?"

Tony gave a small, tight smile. "No," he said simply.

"Hey, what about Jane?" Maria Hill chimed in, gesturing at Thor with her bottle. "Where are the _ladies_ , gentlemen?" she asked with good natured mockery. She took a sip of her drink and swallowed before adding, "At least Katherine has an excuse."

"She does?" Sam asked curiously, raising his brows slightly and glancing at Steve, who was no doubt the best source of information.

"She and Bucky are cosied up in the same cabin they were in before," he explained, making Sam raise his brows even higher.

"There's a 'winter is coming' joke in there somewhere, but notice how I am not making it?" Tony said sardonically, popping the lid off another beer bottle as he spoke. "Now that's what I call growth."

Thor and Steve looked blank at the reference, making Tony blink at them. "Game of Thrones? No?" He threw up his hands in exasperation. "I don't know why I even _bother_ with you two," he said to himself.

The conversation shifted, with Maria asking once again what was actually keeping the ladies away and Thor and Tony starting to talk about Jane and Pepper in distinctly competitive tones.

"So Katherine Summers and Barnes?" Sam asked Steve quietly with a small frown.

Steve nodded, still watching Tony and Thor bickering.

"You approve?" Sam added, and Steve picked up on the faint, quizzical note in his voice.

"Yeah," he said honestly, then remembered how displeased Sam had been to discover that Bucky had essentially kidnapped a woman. "I know you were hesitant when we found them, and probably rightly so, but I _genuinely_ think there is nothing coerced about their relationship," he told him. "She's good for him - they're good together - despite having met in less than ideal circumstances."

"Hey, I believe you, man," Sam replied, surprising him slightly since he'd expected him to voice his disapproval after the vehemence his friend had shown when they had first found Katherine and Bucky together, not knowing what the nature of their relationship was.

"So, you found a place in Brooklyn yet?" Sam added, changing the subject as they made their way up the stairs to the mezzanine level.

Steve chuckled. "I don't think I can _afford_ a place in Brooklyn," he replied with a wry grin, suspecting that even the salary he drew from the Avengers wouldn't be enough for such expensive real estate.

* * *

Katherine stirred and blinked herself slowly awake, breathing in deeply as she did so. Her head was pillowed on Bucky's bare chest, her arms wrapped around his torso. She could feel his flesh hand resting lightly on her back. His chest was rising and falling beneath her, his breaths deep and even.

She nuzzled her cheek affectionately against his chest and was surprised when he stiffened slightly, not responding any more than that.

"Bucky?" she said, raising her head to look curiously up at him.

The bed sheets beneath them were scattered with small feathers courtesy one of the pillows that had been torn when he had gripped it due to his superior strength. The wooden headboard of the bed was also broken from where Bucky had clenched it with his metal fist while bracing himself on it for support during the course of their night together.

Bucky himself was laying on his back with his metal hand behind his head among the scattered feathers, staring up at the ceiling and making no move to touch her aside from the flesh hand resting gently on the bare skin of her back.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his voice tightly controlled and emotionless as he continued to look up at the wooden ceiling of the cabin.

"I'm fine," she said bemusedly, frowning at him and growing concerned over his reserved manner. "Bucky, what's wrong?"

He sighed deeply and wearily, his hand moving down to her hips and drawing her attention downwards.

His fingers were trailing lightly over a distinct scale of bruises that littered her hips, darker and more evident on her right side where his metal hand had been.

"How are you feeling really?" he asked quietly, finally meeting her eyes with his gaze full of regret and self-reproach.

"Bucky …" she said softly, entreatingly, her heart sinking as she sensed the looming argument.

He sat up quickly, dislodging her. "This was a mistake," he said, scrubbing both of his hands roughly over his face and shaking his head. "I should have known that I would hurt you."

"Don't you _dare_ call last night a mistake, Bucky Barnes," Katherine said instantly with fierce, quiet intensity. She pulled the duvet up to her chest to cover herself, glaring at him to hide just how hurt she was by what he had just said.

Bucky raised his head to meet her gaze, looking stricken anew at how she had interpreted his words; albeit and in hindsight, his poorly chosen words.

"Yeah, I have a few bruises, which isn't ideal, but when I told you to lighten your grip you did so immediately," she continued, feeling her eyes prickling with barely restrained tears, because, to her, the previous night had been intimate and wonderful, not something to regret come morning. "And if you didn't heal so quickly you would probably still have imprints from my nails on your shoulders."

He was still staring at her, looking contrite in the extreme. "Katya … When I said _mistake_ , I didn't mean …"

She exhaled a breath, briefly pinching the bridge of her nose while trying to gain control of her emotions. "I know."

She met his gaze once more. "Look, I think we knew that this wasn't going to be easy. We need to … get used to each other," she said simply, still holding the covers to her chest. It really seemed a futile gesture; Bucky knew every inch of her body but the covering provided some type of shield for her to get through the difficult conversation occurring. "We need to find out what works. And that's going to take practice."

Bucky slowly raised his flesh hand and brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek in a tentative, feather light touch, like he wasn't sure how this caress would be recieved.

"I'm sorry I said it was a mistake," he said, his voice soft and genuine in its contrition as the back of his fingers lingered on her skin. "I didn't mean it like that at all. Last night was …"

"Incredible," she finished for him as he trailed off.

He gave her a small, albeit slightly sad, smile, nodding his head.

Carefully, his fingers moved to crook under her chin, tilting her face up to his. He leant forwards and placed a gentle, careful kiss on her lips, his mouth light and chaste.

Katherine smiled at him in turn when he drew back after a moment, pleased that what could have turned into quite a major argument had apparently been averted - after all, the last time Bucky had felt that she had been in danger because of him he had taken himself off for months.

"I'm going to go make a cup of tea, do you want some coffee?" she offered, her smile lingering.

He nodded, settling back down against the pillows and looking slightly more relaxed than when she had first woken up, though a deep and thoughtful crease was lingering between his brows.

"I'll be right back." She made to get up but immediately sat back down on the edge of the bed. "Oh," she said softly, suddenly becoming aware of the subtle ache in her body, no doubt a result of being worked over by someone twice her size.

Bucky frowned at her, half sitting up once more and propping himself on his elbows. "Are you alright?

She pulled a slight face at him. "I'm … a little sore actually," she admitted, hoping this wouldn't spark his self reproach again, then smiled as, sure enough, his frown predictably deepened in worry, the corners of his mouth pulled distinctly downwards. "Nothing a hot shower won't fix though."

"I'm sorry," he said again, his frown lingering.

Katherine found herself laughing.

"What?" Bucky asked with mild incredulity, deep lines marring his brow as he stared at her.

"It's just rare that a guy apologises for being _good_ in bed," she said, still laughing. "I'm sorry I rocked your world so hard you can barely walk in the morning, Katherine," she teased, deepening her voice a little to do an impression of him with a grin.

She was rewarded with a hint of a smile, like he was reluctantly amused or even a little gratified by her comment.

"Maybe you should stay in bed today," he suggested.

She grinned even wider and quirked an eyebrow at him. "Is that a proposition, Bucky?" she asked playfully.

He gave her a highly exasperated look. "I honestly don't know how you can joke about this," he admitted bewilderedly, staring at her. "I _hurt_ you, Katya."

Katherine shifted on the bed so that she was once more laying closer to him, reaching out to smooth her hand from his shoulder down the warm skin of his arm.

"Seriously, did you hear me complaining at any point last night?" she asked, well aware of just how enthusiastic she had been for his touch.

His mouth quirked.

"... No," he finally admitted, sounding reluctantly gratified once more. He sighed and leaned in, nuzzling her neck with his nose. "In fact it is probably a good thing that this cabin has no near neighbours. You can be quite … vocal," he said, a distinct note of masculine satisfaction in his voice.

She craned her neck, allowing him to begin to place light kisses on her throat. "Speaking of which, can I ask you something?" she asked curiously, his words reminding her of something; Bucky hummed his agreement, but didn't stop his attentions to her neck. "What were you saying to me in Russian last night?"

He drew back to look at her, a small grin pulling at the side of his mouth at her question.

"You don't know?" he said, looking at her with light eyes, the previous worry and self reproach having almost completely melted away.

"Of course not," she replied with a small frown, wondering why he thought that she would know. "You only gave me a few lessons before we left for the tower, then you left for Europe not long after."

Bucky was simply gazing at her, his small smile lingering.

Katherine sighed in faux exasperation at his silence.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" she guessed, recognising the look in his eyes.

"Not yet," he confirmed, reaching out to brush the backs of his knuckles reverently against her cheek once more.

"Tease," she said, playfully batting his hand away with a smile.

Katherine allowed herself to settle back among the pillows, ignoring the small feathers that floated up into the air at the movement and tickled her bare skin as they settled.

"Well, if you're not going to tell me, perhaps _you'd_ like to go and make us some drinks?" she asked, raising her brows at him and pulling the duvet higher to keep her covered.

Bucky's mouth quirked once more at the not-so-subtle order. "Yes Ma'am," he agreed obligingly, leaning forwards to kiss her before getting out of bed, stirring the small feathers once more.

Watching him walk stark naked from the bedroom, her smile widened to a full grin as the small feathers settled on the bed around her.

Meanwhile, deep within the maintenance and production line of the Iron Legion within Avengers Tower, the lights in the eyes of the damaged Iron Legion that Katherine had helped Tony to program flickered to life.

Ultron was awake.

* * *

 **Sorry for the long wait between chapters, work is keeping me busy at the moment and I have been struck down with the dreaded lurgy …**

 **As always, reviews are greatly appreciated - I'd be particularly interested to hear about anything you'd like / expect to see within the Age of Ultron arc of the story.**

 **Big thank you to** _ **auntkia**_ **for betaing!**


	24. Age of Ultron, part 1

Per Bucky's suggestion, Katherine did indeed end up spending the majority of the day in bed, though of course she was not alone. In the times that she was not dozing in his arms, her back to his front, or cuddled against his chest, Bucky was more than happy to touch and make love to her again and again, finding out what works, as she'd put it.

Night had long since fallen and Katherine eventually sat up, interlocking her arms above her head to stretch and giving Bucky quite the view since she still didn't have a stitch of clothing on. Her whole body felt boneless and slightly achy, but in the most delicious of ways.

Getting out of bed, she slipped Bucky's crumpled shirt on to cover herself.

"I don't know which I prefer, you in silk or you in my shirts," Bucky said musingly, watching her with his metal hand propped behind his head from where he was still lounging on the bed, the covers pooled around his waist.

"Or nothing at all?" she asked teasingly, fastening just two of the buttons of the oversized shirt.

"That too," he agreed with a disarming grin.

She _loved_ seeing him like this - naked, in their bed, and looking distinctly relaxed and satisfied.

"I'm going to go start dinner," Katherine said breezily, leaning over the bed to give him a quick kiss before he could pull her closer to ravish her again. "I'm _starving_ ," she added, since Bucky had well and truly exhausted her over the past hours.

Bucky made a contended noise and got up as well to join her, slinging on just his trousers since she was already wearing his shirt to wander the cabin.

They headed through to the kitchen and started prepping the food for their dinner. Midway through, Katherine absently checked her phone with the intention of putting a timer for the food in the oven on.

"Oh shit …" she said suddenly, staring at her phone screen with wide eyes.

"What is it?" Bucky asked, glancing up at her as he set the table for them.

She held up her phone to show him the screen with wide eyes, her hands shaking. "I've got seven missed calls from Steve, eighteen from Tony," she said plainly, not needing to say more to explain how serious this likely was, or that their romantic few days at the cabin was likely to come to an early and abrupt end.

Bucky stared at her for a long moment, his expression unreadable.

He then sighed deeply and gestured for her to go ahead and call them back.

Half turning away from him, Katherine quickly navigated to Tony's number and pressed call. It rang for only two rings before he answered. "Bonnie?" he said quickly, a note of worried urgency in his voice.

"Tony, what's happening?" she asked immediately, frowning deeply at his tone.

She heard him exhale a long, weary breath. "We have, uh ... a bit of a situation here," he said hesitantly.

What followed was an explanation of the code-like program Tony had found in Loki's sceptre and their attempts to integrate it into the Stark system. Ultron, a global peacekeeping program, was something that Tony had been talking about for months, since they had first started programming the Iron Legion, but it sounded like something had gone drastically wrong since the newly awakened Ultron, who had taken the form of one of the Iron Legion suits, had attacked the team, _destroyed_ Jarvis and absconded with the Iron Legion itself.

By the time Tony had finished, Katherine was pinching the bridge of her nose and trying to breathe evenly to stay calm, knowing just how dangerous Stark Technology like the Iron Legion could be in unfriendly hands since she had helped to create it.

"Ultron has crippled our systems, but I've left you all the specs that we have on the sceptre and the interface," Tony finished. "I hate to crash the honeymoon, but I really need you to look over it. Maybe you see something we can't."

She sighed. "We're on our way," she said before hanging up and turning to face Bucky.

Bucky was watching her with a small frown, not having interrupted her conversation or tried to listen. "Well?" he asked in a blank voice.

Katherine grimaced. "Tony has somehow created a … killer robot," she told him, paraphrasing the conversation.

There was a long pause.

"A killer robot," Bucky repeated eventually, his tone dead-pan, like he didn't want to believe what he was hearing.  
"He's been talking about Ultron for months now," Katherine said, putting her phone down and unconsciously wringing her hands. "It was supposed to be a peacekeeping program, bigger even than the Iron Legion." She frowned once more, certain that the sceptre must be the key to what he had created and why it had gone wrong. "But it was deemed too big a project, he's not had a breakthrough for weeks …"

Another pause.

"They want you to go in," Bucky surmised since she had trailed off, lost in thought.

She glanced up at him again. "Tony says they have a lead in Africa that they are going to check out, but yeah … He wants me to look over the specs."

Bucky nodded once then and without a word of complaint started collecting the plates and cutlery that he had been laying the table with to put them away.

Within fifteen minutes they were properly dressed with their bags packed and loaded into the borrowed jeep, making their way back to the plane that was still in the clearing a few miles away with Bucky frowning the whole way.

"Jarvis, set coordinates for the tower," Katherine said absently as they fired up the system.

There was no response.

"Jarvis?" she said once more, only to suddenly slap her hand to her forehead. " _Shit_!" she cursed, remembering what Tony had told her. "Tony said that Jarvis was down …"

She turned to Bucky, who had been more than usually quiet since they had received that phone call. "I, uh … don't suppose you know how to fly a plane?"

She hadn't been overly optimistic, but to her complete shock, Bucky nodded and moved into the pilot's seat of the cockpit, flicking the overhead switches and pressing buttons with practiced efficiency.

Within seconds he had initiated the vertical take-off on the plane and guided them up above the trees, his face still set into a scowl. He manually inputted the coordinates for Avengers Tower and they shot off through the air.

Katherine sighed once more as the Canadian landscape blurred beneath them. "So much for a romantic few days away," she said quietly to herself, mentally gearing up to deal with a killer robot.

Without replying, Bucky simply reached over and took her hand in his, squeezing it slightly in consolation as they headed back to New York.

* * *

Bucky did not like this situation one bit.

He knew that Katherine was clever - brilliant, even - when it came to computers, but the idea of her being involved in a fight against a ' _killer robot'_ simply did not sit well with him and he could feel himself scowling the whole flight to New York.

It took all his skills to land the plane in the docking bay of Avengers Tower without Jarvis there to guide him in, but he managed it and the plane was smoothly pulled into the building by the mechanisms.

Katherine jumped to her feet the minute the plane landed and pushed the button to open the doors and lower the ramp. She was met by a woman that he recognised as Agent Maria Hill, who was there waiting for her.

"What's the situation?" Katherine asked, already heading into the building with the woman.

Bucky could hear Hill filling her in, explaining that the rest of the team had just left for Africa to follow a lead before they were out of earshot.

He sighed and collected their bags - he was acutely aware that without an enemy in front of him to fight he wasn't much help at this point, a fact that did nothing to help his already sour mood.

With little else that he could do, Bucky took both of their bags back to the room on Steve's floor that had become theirs. He then took the elevator towards the top of the tower, finding the lack of Jarvis' voice speaking to be distinctly disturbing.

He blinked in shock, not having expected the destruction, as the elevator doors opened on the top floor of the tower. Glass littered the floor, as did the destroyed remants of several Iron Legion soldiers, and scorch marks dotted the walls. Clearly this had been the scene of a confrontation.

He picked his way through to glass towards the lab, finding Katherine stood at one of the computers and typing rapidly on the keyboard. In the centre of the room was a holomat, upon which a broken, golden-orange hologram was floating. Whatever Katherine was doing at the computer was causing certain parts of the hologram to occasionally flare weakly, like pulses of a dying heartbeat.

"This is a mess," Katherine said as he came in to the lab, sparing him a glance. "He's been everywhere - robotics labs, jet propulsion labs, weapons facilities …" She trailed off and fixed her eyes on the screen once more, her face set into a determined frown. "Tony left a message saying he's after vibranium, but _why_?"

"Is there anything I can do?" Bucky asked quietly, feeling helpless to assist her.

Katherine gave him a wide eyed, beseeching look. "A cup of tea would be nice," she said, her voice catching ever so slightly, a sure sign that she was feeling overwhelmed.

He nodded and stepped forward, kissing her gently on the cheek to let her know that he was there before moving away to make her requested tea; she must be starving, he thought to himself, since he'd kept her up half the night, then they'd had to leave the cabin before she'd eaten anything.

Several minutes later he returned and silently put the tea down beside her, not wanting to disturb her work since she was clearly busy.

"Wait a second …" Katherine said to herself, her eyes widening as she stared at the screen.

"What is it?" Bucky asked softly, watching as she started typing with renewed energy once more.

"My code hasn't been compromised, the defensive systems for Stark Industries are still in place," she told him, her fingers moving like lightning over the keyboard.

"What does that mean?" he wanted to know, getting the sense that he was missing something here.

Katherine briefly bit her lip, her typing never faltering even as she glanced at him. "It means that I have an idea."

* * *

Steve blinked, the rusting ship giving way to a large room as the tendrils of Wanda Maximoff's magic slipped into his mind. His stomach was lurching, like the feeling of being on the Cyclone at Coney Island, and he swayed on his feet.

He was in a large room, a dancing hall, that was full of people. They were all dressed in clothes from the 1940's and celebrating with wild enthusiasm. Victory banners lined the walls and hung from a ceiling - the war was over.

He moved through the room, towards the dancefloor, flinching as camera flashes went off like bombs around him, seeing people pushing at each other and laughing at spilled drinks, wine covering a white, button-up shirt like blood.

Steve stopped at the edge of the dancefloor, his attention caught by a couple there.

It was Bucky, but Bucky as he'd known him back in WWII, with short hair and dressed in his Sergeant's uniform, his hat sat at an angle upon his head. He was dancing with Katherine, who was dressed in a 1940's style dress, her hair pinned into victory curls. As they twirled around he caught a flash of a wedding ring on her finger and the distinct outline of a baby bump beneath her dress.

" _God's righteous man, thinking you could live without a war_ ," Ultron's voice said in his head, mocking him as he watched some uniformed soldiers pick a fight on the dancefloor.

He was right. He was willing to _die_ for peace, but he couldn't _live_ with it - the serum had amplified everything about him and he was, to his core, a soldier.

"Are you ready for our dance?" an achingly familiar, English voice said from behind him.

He turned to see Peggy Carter, stood beside him looking beautiful in a blue dress with perfectly red lips.

She was so vibrant, so _alive_ \- nothing like the ill, elderly woman that she had become after living her extraordinary life.

He glanced back at the dancefloor, looking at the couples.

Bucky and Katherine were no longer dancing, but rather they were sat together at the side of the dancefloor. His friend had his shirt sleeves rolled up, revealing two perfectly whole, flesh arms instead of metal. He was holding a baby and Katherine was leaning over him to adjust the blankets, cooing delightedly at her child. Bucky met Steve's eyes across the room and grinned easily, his whole expression bright and happy.

"The war's over, Steve. We can go _home_ ," Peggy said entreatingly from behind him, putting into words everything that he had once thought that he wanted. He turned to face her, finding her hand light on his arm. "Imagine it," she told him softly.

And for a moment, he did - he imagined dancing with her, their _promised_ dance, holding her close in his arms.

But then the room was suddenly empty; he was standing alone in the middle of the dancefloor and the lively swing music replaced by the haunting sound of a baby crying.

* * *

 **Shorter chapter than ususal, but the Age of Ultron story line is split into 2 parts.**

 **Also, sorry for the long delay between updates, had a wee bit of writer's block with this chapter!**

 **However, in the course of having said writer's block I was inspired to start a new story - Also a Bucky / OC one. It's called Girl Next Door and is set in Bucharest, a bit lighter and sweeter than Broken Things. Do check it out and let me know if you like it!**

 **Big thank you to auntkia for betaing!**

 **I hope that you all had a lovely Christmas and New Years!**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies! :)**


	25. Age of Ultron, part 2

The whole team were gathered around Clint Barton's kitchen table. Tony had his phone out, holding it so that everyone could see. Katherine Summers' face filled the small screen, looking tired and drawn.

"So, I have some good news and I have some bad news," Katherine said wearily, not looking or sounding particularly optimistic. "Which would you like first?"

There was a long pause; no one wanted to speak first.

"Good news," Steve eventually said, breaking the silence.

"The good news is that due to the cyber security code that I wrote, Ultron can't leave Stark Tech systems without wiping himself out," she said simply; Tony immediately frowned at that, his quick mind working through the logistics of what that meant for them.

"Okay …" Steve said slowly, apparently waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Tony, I notice you already locked him out of your suits," Katherine added, her gaze shifting to him on the screen.

"First thing I did," Tony confirmed - in fact he had actually used his phone to do that in the midst of the fight against Ultron in the tower. "Can't do anything about the Legion though, he's already there."

"And he is also in a Hydra robotics lab in Sokovia, the same base you took," Katherine said. "I remember you once told me that you hired me because you were worried about security post-Hydra, with how far they had managed to infiltrate. Turns out you were right to be. The robotics that Strucker was working on ran off stolen, bastardised Stark technology, Ultron has already assimilated it into the system."

"Can we completely wipe the system?" Clint asked, fiddling with the fletching on the darts that he was holding.

Katherine grimaced, clearly not liking that idea. "In theory, yes," she said, speaking slowly. "There is a … kill switch, if you will."

"Then that's what we do," Steve said decisively, laying his hand down on the table.

"That's not an option," Tony said firmly, not even looking at Cap.

"Why?" Steve shot back, narrowing his eyes at him. "Because it damages your company?"

Tony turned to face him. "Because included in Stark technology is numerous medical equipment like life support, pacemakers and respiratory machines, not to mention planes, satellites and submarine life support systems," he replied simply, knowing the results of simply sending everything dark could be catastrophic. "Countless people would suffer, if not die if we throw the switch."

"So we take the fight to Ultron," Natasha said after a moment's pause.

"It's the only way," Tony confirmed, knowing that this had to come down to a fight.

Another brief silence, then Steve roused himself and spoke once more. "You mentioned bad news," he reminded Katherine, his tone weary and unenthusiastic.

"The bad news is that there are over four billion pieces of Stark technology out there in the world, everything from phones, to tablets, to the Iron Legion," Katherine told them from the phone screen. "If he goes on the defensive, then Ultron could hide in any one of them if he so chooses."

"But you said he is in the internet," Steve said questioningly, clearly not understanding the technological ins and outs of the situation.

"Jumping from Stark tech from Stark tech, like an email or a text message," Tony answered for her. "He doesn't actually leave the system."

"So he is trapped," Katherine surmised for them. "A very _very_ big trap, sure, but trapped nevertheless.

Another long pause.

"Right, biggest thing is stopping him from escaping so that we can actually deal with him," Tony said thoughtfully. "You're right in saying every phone, PDA and Stark watch is a potential conduit. Bonnie, you programmed the security, think you can tweak it to lock him in to a certain area?"

Katherine looked thoughtful. "He's already in the Legion, but the Legion is a subsystem, so if we were to lock him in anywhere then there would be our best bet," she said slowly, clearly thinking it through as she spoke. "If there was a way for us to … I don't know, _burn_ him out of the internet to cut off escape routes then I might be able to lock him in there, but I don't know how we could do that remotely."

"I'm sending Bruce to you, work together on this," Tony told her, knowing that Bruce would absolutely not want to go to Korea with the others if there was a chance of meeting that little witch again. "Do what you can."

Katherine nodded and the screen went dark. Everyone got to their feet to gather their things, ready to head off on their various missions. Tony pocketed the phone, already mentally mapping out the easiest route he would have to take to get to the NEXUS and find their mysterious ally.

"I like her," Fury said musingly, having been silent while they had spoken to Katherine on the phone. "Think she'd be interested in working for SHIELD?"

Tony got to his feet, slapping Fury on the back as he walked by him. "Considering her boyfriend is the Winter Soldier, I'm gonna say _doubtful_."

* * *

Katherine stood to one side in the lab, pinching the bridge of her nose as she listened to Tony and Bruce arguing about the regeneration cradle and what to do with the android inside. Bucky stood beside her, rubbing soothing circles on her back; she could tell that he was near his wits end, feeling frustrated and helpless at how little he could do to help while she was busy working in the tower, but hadn't breathed a word of complaint since they had arrived.

"This is the opportunity, we can create Ultron's perfect self, without the homicidal _glitches_ he thinks are his winning personality," Tony was saying earnestly, trying to convince Bruce to put Jarvis into the android. "We have to."

" _I think it's worth a go_ ," Jarvis chimed in, newly reassembled by Tony in the NEXUS.

"What do you think, Bonnie?" Tony turned to ask her before Bruce could get a word in, clearly trying to garner more support for his idea.

Katherine frowned, trying to think through all of the logistics. "It … it could work," she said slowly, carefully, aware that Bucky's hand had abruptly stilled on her back. "We could make Jarvis' schematic compatible, but parts of Ultron's system are already implanted. Whatever was made would be a … hybrid."

"Couldn't Ultron just assimilate and control the new body, like he did with the Iron Legion?" Bruce pointed out.

"Not if Bonnie and I ring fence it," Tony shot back, having an answer for everything.

"Tony -" Bruce started to say in a weary tone, but was interrupted once more.

"Look, you know the idea of Ultron is sound," Tony said to him. "It was a pure _glitch_ in the system that made him malfunction and turn into -"

"A murder bot?" Bruce finished sarcastically for him.

"This could _work_ ," Tony insisted, tapping a stylus against the palm of his hand and then abruptly pointing it to Katherine. "You said you needed a way to burn him out of the internet and that you can't do it remotely. But this? Another _Avenger_ , who could connect to the Legion in a confrontation?" he said, an excited, almost manic glint in his eye. "He could do it."

Bruce threw up his hands. "I can't believe this, I'm caught in a time loop!" he said, the exasperation clear in his voice.

"I know what everybody's going to say ... We're mad scientists. We're monsters, buddy. You gotta own it," There was a brief silence, then Tony clapped Bruce on the shoulder. "It's not a loop … It's the end of the line."

"Are you sure about this, Katya?" Bucky murmured in her ear as the two men spoke, his hand still frozen on her back. She glanced over her shoulder at him, finding his grey-blue eyes filled with worry. "Steve wanted them to destroy it."

Katherine bit her lip, knowing full well from his demeanor that Bucky was not happy with this idea that they were proposing. "I know, but ... I think it could actually _work_ ," she told him quietly.

"You think?" he repeated, the doubt clear in his voice - it was obvious he was not happy with the situation one bit, but something was nagging in her that this was the right thing to do.

Tony turned to her, having finally managed to convince a reluctant Bruce. "Are you in, Bonnie?" he asked determinedly.

Katherine took a deep breath, glancing at Bucky. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but … yes."

* * *

They had just three minutes, three minutes for the team to gather their gear and get to the quinjet ready to head to Sokovia for the confrontation against Ultron.

Three minutes until they had to say goodbye once more.

Katherine followed Bucky to the locker room, watching as he stripped off his shirt to change into tactical gear. "You're going to Sokovia too," she said quietly, watching him with her arms wrapped around herself; it was not a question.

Bucky pulled the black, skin tight undershirt that went beneath the tactical gear on and turned to look at her.

"I don't think I've ever felt more useless than I have in the last few days, but I can help in a fight," he told her softly as he fastened a black jacket on over the top. When he was fully dressed in his tactical gear he approached her and reached out to cup her cheek in his metal hand. "You told me before to go and be a hero," he reminded her. "I'm trying to be better, for you."

Katherine's heart ached for him, suddenly feeling so proud of how far he had come in the months that she had known him. "Stay safe," she whispered, laying her hand over his heart.

Bucky bought his other hand up to her cheek as well, leaning in so that his breath fanned over her lips. "How could I do otherwise when I have you waiting for me?" he murmured, then closed the distance between them to kiss her in earnest.

She swayed on her feet, leaning in to him and basking in his presence, not having been able to do so much as kiss him since she had phoned Tony back at the cabin.

She could feel his hands on her skin, moving to her hair and tilting her head in order to better kiss her, while she was on her tiptoes and holding on to his shoulders in turn. They didn't have time for anything more, but the memory of their night together at the cabin was at the forefront of both of their minds if the way they gripped each other was any indication.

The moment was broken as Bucky suddenly jerked back, his head turning sharply towards the door.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," the smooth, British voice of the Vision said from where it - he? - stood in the doorway, making a dazed Katherine turn to look as well. It was downright strange, unnerving even, to hear Jarvis' voice coming from this android that they had created.

"It's … fine," she said self-consciously, tucking her disheveled hair behind her ear; Bucky kept her protectively in the circle of his arms, casting a deeply distrustful look at the android.

"I wanted to thank you," the Vision said, making no move to enter the room.

"For what?" Katherine said in confusion.

"For helping to create me," the android said simply, lightly. "I can feel lines upon lines of your code running through me like strands of DNA." He titled his head, looking at her curiously with those strange, robotic eyes. "One might even say that we are … family."

Katherine's lips parted and she stared at him in shock, not knowing how to reply to that.

The Vision turned his gaze to Bucky. "One minute, Sergeant Barnes," he reminded him since the quinjet was leaving imminently, then nodded politely at her. "Until next time, Miss Summers."

The android walked away, leaving a thoroughly bewildered Katherine still standing in the circle of Bucky's arms within the locker room.

"Well, huh," she said simply, unable to articulate anything else.

* * *

 **I know this is a very short chapter, but I decided to do Age of Ultron in 3 shorter parts - it just felt too bitty to have the battle as well in this chapter!**

 **Thanks again to the lovely _auntkia_ for betaing!**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies - any guesses for things that you expect to see in the battle ahead?**


	26. Age of Ultron, part 3

Bucky wasn't entirely sure if he could believe the evidence of his own eyes - somehow, impossibly, the city of Sokovia was flying.

They were rising higher and higher with every second, buildings around them cracking as their very foundations crumbled away to plummet back down to the earth.

The Vision - the android that Stark, Banner and Katherine had somehow created - had managed to burn Ultron out of the internet in a confrontation with him, leaving him locked in the Iron Legion and the Hyra robotics that he had assimilated thanks to Katherine's code.

But that did not mean that the battle was by any means won - they now had an army of killer robots to fight, not to mention finding a way to safely bring the city down before the impact radius grew large enough to devastate all life on earth.

"Stark, you worry about bringing the city down safely," Steve said, his voice crackling over the comms. "The rest of us have one job - tear these things apart," he told them bluntly, condensing their mission down. "You get hurt, hurt them back … You get killed, walk it off."

The next several minutes were taken up with fighting wave after wave of the robots, with the Avengers having to both fight back and protect the civilians that were still on the ascending city.

But even their best efforts to protect the civilians wouldn't mean a damn thing if they couldn't find a way to safely bring the city down - and the higher they got, the more people down below would die as the city came down.

For the first time, Bucky thought that they might not get out of this one.

The feeling of despair he felt at the prospect of not seeing Katherine again fueled him to fight all the harder, harder than he had ever fought when he had worked for Hydra - he wasn't going to die here, not when he now had so much to live for.

Side by side with Steve, the two of them single handedly took out a wave of the robots, throwing Steve's shield between them in a seamless dance.

"Killer robots," Bucky said in a tone of sheer exasperation during a brief lull between attack, gasping for breath and looking at his old friend with no small amount of indignation. "Killer robots … _God_ , I miss the Nazis."

* * *

The city of Sokovia was flying.

Katherine was stood in front of a monitor on a huge, SHIELD helicarrier, her hands covering her mouth in horror as she stared at the scant, blurry bits of footage and scrambled readings that they had from the centre of the flying city.

Maria Hill had offered to let her join the SHIELD team on the helicarrier scant minutes after the quinjet containing Bucky and the Avengers had departed and she had positively jumped at the chance, not wanting to sit alone in the tower and do nothing.

But there was nothing more that she could do - she had done her part in altering the code to lock Ultron in the Legion and now all she could do was _wait,_ wait as they docked the lifeboats from the helicarrier and started to evacuate the civilians.

Even with the people being rescued from the flying city, they still had no way to safely bring it down.

Watching with a numb kind of horror as the impact radius of the city grew larger and larger - large enough to wipe out all of Europe at this point and growing exponentially - she decided that she simply couldn't stand it anymore.

She grabbed a headset and tapped frantically on one of the consoles.

Crackling filled her ears.

"Bucky?" she said quietly, her heart in her throat as she desperately hoped that he could hear her.

"Katya," he replied, sounding out of breath - she exhaled a shaky breath of her own at the sound of his voice.

"This is a secure channel, no one else can hear this," she told him quickly, hearing the sounds of fighting on his end. "I just …" She took a deep breath, knowing what she wanted to say but terrified to say it, terrified that it might well be the last thing she ever said to him. "The city is flying and even with the lifeboats, the impact radius is getting bigger and bigger."

"I know," he said, unspoken understanding of what this meant in the cracking of his voice over the comms.

Why had she waited this long? Why had she not told him how she felt about him?

"If … If something goes wrong, I need to tell you -"

A loud, metallic crash sounded over his end, followed by a robotic screech and the sound of metal tearing.

"Katya, are you there?" she heard Bucky say urgently, his voice breaking up over the bad connection.

"I'm here," she told him quickly, a sob catching in her throat at the prospect of losing him.

There was the sound of more fighting, of gunfire and the screams of civilians.

"I love you," she said desperately into the headset, not knowing if he could hear her but needing to say it nevertheless. "You need to know, Bucky, I love you _so_ much -"

There was a sharp crackle and the connection abruptly went dead.

" _Bucky_?" Katherine said, typing frantically with shaking fingers to try and reestablish the secure channel.

Next to her, she heard one of the SHIELD operatives speaking quickly into their own headset. "Barton has confirmed, we have a casualty among the Avengers - I repeat, confirmed casualty among the Avengers."

"Bucky?" whispered into her headset, hoping against hope that he would respond, that he would answer her.

There was a sudden silence - caused the loud, dull roar of the repulsor engines that had been causing the city to fly abruptly failing - and then the machines taking readings of the city went wild.

Sokovia was falling - with an impact radius that was going to kill _billions_ \- and she had no idea if Bucky was on one of the lifeboats.

* * *

The lifeboat that Bucky was on was among the last ones to dock on the SHIELD helicarrier.

Despite it being their salvation, the sight of the helicarrier was making him feel physically sick as memories of DC and Hydra's helicarriers overwhelmed him, nevertheless he was the only one of the team on this particular lifeboat, and so distracted himself with making sure everyone was safely on to the helicarrier before disembarking himself.

"Bucky?" he heard a familiar voice calling.

His head jerked up, scanning the crowd of weary, shell-shocked civilians around him until he saw Katherine making his way through them, clearly looking for him desperately.

Their eyes met through the crowd.

"Bucky!" she cried in abject relief, weaving her way through the people and positively launching herself at him.

He couldn't help a small wince of pain as her arms wrapped around him - the fight had taken its toll.

She immediately noticed his response and drew back, staying in the circle of his arms but looking at him in acute concern. "Are you alright?" she asked urgently, her gaze sweeping over him.

"I'm fine," he insisted - in truth, he was far from fine and hadn't felt this battered since the fight in DC, but knew that the injuries would heal within a few hours. "Bit of damage, nothing I can't shake off," he added since she looked less than convinced.

Bucky took her face in his hands - one metal, one bruised and covered in dirt and blood. "How did you get here?" he asked her softly, having thought that she was still safely in New York, not on a helicarrier right in the midst of the battle.

"Did you think I was just going to stay in the tower and wait?" she asked him, her own hands coming up to grip his wrists as he cupped her face. "Maria Hill and I took one of the jets the moment Tony gave the all clear for you all to depart …"

She lowered her eyes, looking all at once distraught and guilty. "I know you wanted me to stay in New York, but I _had_ to be here," she insisted, raising her gaze to his once more. "I thought … Bucky, when the city started falling I had no idea if you were on one of the boats and I thought …"

Seeing just how worried she had been, he lowered his mouth to hers despite the people all around them and brushed her lips with his own. "I'm fine," he breathed, reassuring her.

She still didn't look convinced, the worry evident in her face. "They - they said that there was a confirmed casualty among the Avengers, who …" she started to ask before trailing off, clearly terrified to fully ask her question, let alone hear the answer.

"The Maximoff kid, Pietro," Bucky told her softly - he had barely spoken to him, but he seemed a good kid and hadn't deserved what had happened to him.

Katherine buried her face in his chest, hugging him tightly once more.

He felt her take several deep breaths against him.

"Is it ... terrible that I am _relieved_?" she asked him, speaking into his chest so quietly that it was barely audible.

He held her tight against him, one hand cupping the back of her head. "No, sweetheart," he told her, knowing exactly what she meant - she was so close to Steve, Tony and some of the others that he knew that she couldn't stand the idea of losing any of them either. "It's not terrible."

There was another long pause as they simply held each other, oblivious to the numerous people milling around them.

After a long moment, Katherine drew back ever so slightly, but remained in the circle of his arms. "Oh my God …" she said softly, looking down at the blood that was covering her hands from where she had been grasping on to him - blood that had seeped into his clothing from his injuries.

"Katya," he said, seeing that she was about to panic once more at the sight of the blood. "I'm fine, I promise."

She frowned deeply at him, then took his hand to tug him along the corridor. "Come on," she said.

She paused at a console in the wall of the helicarrier and tapped something in rapidly, seemingly searching for something. The screen flashed up with a map of the different floors, with one of the rooms lit up in green. "Right, there's a medical room on the next floor that's not being used," she said determinedly, and he knew full well that she would not be satisfied that he was alright until she had tended to his injuries personally.

Bucky allowed her to lead the way, his dirty, bruised and bloodied flesh hand held in hers.

There were fewer people on the floor above, most of the civilians of Sokovia having been herded to wider area where they could sit or lie down as they were attended by SHIELD personele.

The room was small and sterile, containing a narrow, gurney type bed with white sheets pulled tight over it, a small metal sink and cupboards built into the walls.

Katherine closed the door behind them while Bucky sat down on the edge of the bed, willingly submitting himself to her ministrations. She came over to join him, carefully undoing the buckles and fastenings of his tactical clothing. She dropped the dirty and bloodied jacket to the floor once he was free of it, slipping her hands beneath the hem of the tight black undershirt he was wearing to lift it.

Bucky hissed in pain once more as he raised his arms to help her, hearing Katherine suck in a shocked breath as his bruised, blood streaked torso was revealed.

Taking stock of his injuries, he suspected that he had several broken or cracked ribs, possibly even some ruptured organs - he'd had far worse in the past and knew that they would all be healed within a few hours, but it wasn't comfortable to say the least.

Katherine busied herself with wiping away the blood on his torso, using some of the antiseptic wipes in the cupboard, her touch light and gentle - he was abruptly reminded of the days following when they had first met, when she had dug Hydra bullets out of his torso in a cramped motel bathroom.

How far they had come since then.

"Did … did you hear what I said?" she asked him very softly, her gaze lowered to his chest rather than his face.

" _I love you," her voice said desperately into his ear as he fought against Ultron's robot army, her voice breaking with the bad connection. "You need to know, Bucky, I love you_ so _much -"_

Cupping her cheek in his metal hand, he tilted her face up so that her eyes met his.

"I heard you," he told her plainly, remembering how his heart had lurched with a mixture of elation and terror at her words before she had been cut off.

"You did?" she whispered as she stepped closer so that she was standing between his legs, her voice sounding very small and quiet.

He nodded, closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to hers. "I heard you, Katya …"

Bucky felt her exhale, her breath fanning over his lips.

"я тоже тебя люблю," he whispered to her in Russian, repeating his words of love that he had first said to her back at the cabin, seemingly a lifetime ago.

He felt her shift ever so slightly and opened his eyes to look at her; her own eyes were open, watching him with a faint frown of confusion at his Russian words.

Bucky gave her a small smile. "Still don't know?" he asked her wryly, since she had questioned him about what he was saying before and he hadn't told her.

She shook her head, though her eyes were bright with emotion.

He cupped her face with both hands, meeting her eyes determinedly. "It means that I love you too," he told her simply, earnestly, watching as her eyes widened at his declaration. He leant forward to kiss her for a long moment before drawing back just enough to speak with their lips still brushing. "I love you so damn much, doll."

Katherine closed the distance between them once more, kissing him ferverently with her hands lightly gripping his shoulders as she stood between his legs.

Heedless of his injuries, Bucky pulled her even closer against him, drawing her inexorably down to join him on the bed.

* * *

It was well over an hour later that Katherine and Bucky emerged from the small medical room, with his injuries cleaned and disinfected, but both of them more dishevelled than when they had gone in.

They were making their way towards the main deck of the helicarrier, thinking to look for the rest of the team after the battle to debrief everything that had happened when a voice called out to them.

"There you two are," Steve's tired voice came from behind them.

Turning, Katherine saw that Steve was still battered and dirty, a deep frown affixed to his face as he quickly came to join them. "I think we may have a problem."

"What kind of problem?" Katherine asked with wide eyes, wondering what else could have possibly gone wrong that day.

He jerked his head, indicating that they should join him; Katherine and Bucky followed him to one of the wide, open areas of the helicarrier where numerous refugees from Sokovia were gathered.

His expression grim, Steve nodded his head to draw their attention towards one of the televisions that was turned to the news and filled with grisly images of the battle of Sokovia.

"What -" Katherine started to ask, wondering what he was getting at, but then the news bulletin changed to another story.

The screen was filled with three pictures side by side - Bucky, Wanda and Pietro Maximoff, all taken in the midst of the battle with a breaking news byline scrolling across the screen beneath.

 _ **Who are the new Avengers?**_

Bucky was staring at the television with a deep scowl, whereas Katherine's eyes were wide as she quickly thought through the implications of Bucky having been caught on camera so explicitly.

"That's … not good," she said limply, still staring at the screen containing the picture of the man she loved.

"No," Steve said wearily, glancing cautiously at Bucky to see how he was taking this.

There was a long silence between the three of them as they watched the news, watching as the stories cycled between the evacuation of Sokovia, the city flying, interviews from various heads of state and speculation on the identity and abilities of the so-called new Avengers.

Katherine eventually sighed deeply, breaking the silence - it would only be a matter of time before details of Bucky's past as both a member of the Howling Commandos and the Winter Soldier were leaked to the public.

"We have to talk to Tony," she said heavily.

* * *

 **That brings the Age of Ultron storyline to a close - which I'm kind of glad about, I struggled a fair bit with inspiration for writing it!**

 **Big thank you to** _ **auntkia**_ **for betaing!**

 **Leave a review, my darlings :)**

 **Next up, a conversation with Tony …**


	27. Accountability

It ended up being nearly three weeks before Katherine was able to talk to Tony.

In the days and weeks following the events surrounding Ultron and Sokovia, Tony was practically impossible to pin down and Katherine spent every moment worrying that Bucky's time as the Soldier and his missions would be revealed before they could speak to him.

As it was, the similarity between the grainy picture of Bucky that had been snapped in Sokovia and Sergeant Barnes in the old WWII footage, had been noticed and speculated upon by the media, but with Steve refusing to comment and Bucky having been listed as killed in action back in the forties the most common theory circling in the papers was that Bucky must be a descendent of Sergeant Barnes, Captain America's long deceased best friend.

Luckily, the media seemed more focused on Wanda Maximoff and the Vision since they were the Avengers with more visible enhanced abilities.

Tony, meanwhile, was tied up for days with various different politicians discussing the legal accountability of what had happened with Ultron, not to mention organising the Stark Relief Foundation to take care of those who had been injured or rendered homeless in the wake of what had happened.

More than that, the team had made the move from the Tower to the newly finished Avenger's Compound, which was in up-state New York.

Needless to say, it was a busy time for everyone.

Katherine wandered into the large common room that was used by all of the Avengers and was surprised to find Tony sitting alone in the dark; he sat slumped with one hand covering his eyes, making her think he was asleep.

She stared at him for a long moment, steeling herself for the coming conversation, before cautiously approaching him.

"Tony?" she said softly, perching on a seat opposite him - she was reluctant to disturb him since he looked exhausted, but this was the first time she had seen him in days.

He stirred and looked up, giving her a small, wan smile. "Hey Bonnie," he said tiredly, shifting in his seat. "What's up?"

"I need to talk to you," she said quickly, before she lost her nerve.

Tony reclined back against the sofa, closing his eyes once more. "Fire away."

There was a brief silence as her stomach churned uncomfortably - despite having had weeks to think about it, she now had no idea what to say to him.

When she didn't say anything, Tony opened his eyes once more, frowning when he saw her perched on the edge of her seat and wringing her hands. "You okay?" he asked, a distinct note of worry in his voice. "What's wrong?"

Katherine exhaled a shaking breath, steeling herself. "It's about Bucky," she said slowly.

"Did he hurt you?" Tony demanded instantly, sitting up straighter with all trace of tiredness gone.

"What?" she said, blinking in surprise. "No -"

"What did he do?" he asked fiercely, getting to his feet as if to go and confront him - Katherine too got to her feet, in case she needed to stop him.

It was at that moment that the door to the common room opened, revealing Bucky and Steve.

Tony turned to confront Bucky. "What the hell did you do to her?" he demanded aggressively as Bucky simply stared at him.

" _Nothing_ , Tony," Katherine said in exasperation, pulling his elbow to try and turn him around to face her once more. "Just listen, will you?"

Steve looked at her; both she and Steve had been trying to pin Tony down to speak to him for weeks now. "You told him?"

Katherine shook her head. "Not yet, I was trying to."

"Told me what?" Tony wanted to know, his aggression melting to a confused frown as he looked between the three of them.

Steve sighed. "Sit down," he said heavily, nodding to the chairs in the common room.

" _Sit down_?" Tony repeated incredulously. Suddenly, his wry, sardonic smile was back as he smirked amusedly at Steve. "You're not going to try to give me the _talk_ , are you? Because I know you're older, but I _think_ I -"

"Tony," Katherine interrupted, wishing he would take this seriously. "Please, we need to talk to you."

He sat back down, sprawled in the chair, and spread his hands invitingly. "Shoot."

Katherine and Steve shared a look between them, aware that Bucky was being distinctly silent since they had entered the room.

Katherine moved to sit down opposite Tony once more. "It's about Bucky's time with Hydra, as the Winter Soldier," she said slowly, easing into this with her stomach swirling once more, making her feel positively nauseous.

"Before we tell you though, you understand that he wasn't in control of his actions, right?" Steve put in, his expression serious.

"Yeah, brainwashing and all that," Tony said, waving a hand dismissively. "Why? What's this about?"

There was a long silence; no one in the room wanted to speak.

"I killed Howard and Maria Stark," Bucky said eventually from the other side of the room, his voice blank and robotic.

"What?" Tony said, blinking and shaking his head. "No, my parents died in a car crash," he said simply. "It was an icy road and …"

He trailed off as Bucky shook his head once, meeting Tony's gaze firmly.

"No …" Tony said quietly, realising what, exactly, they were telling him.

"It was a sanction and extract mission," Bucky said simply, his voice still emotionless as Tony continued to stare at him. "I ran them off the road. Acquired the serum that Howard had been working on … Finished the job."

Everything was painfully silent and still for several breaths.

Tony's hand flew out sharply, making Katherine jump even though nothing happened.

"Tony -" she started to say, but was interrupted.

The window suddenly exploded as one of Tony's Iron Man suits blasted into the room of the compound and started to wrap around him. Steve leapt to his feet and Bucky pulled a gun from thin air, aiming it at Tony.

Heedless of the shattered glass littering the floor, Katherine lurched out of her chair and stood in front of Tony, intentionally standing between him and Bucky, right in front of the glowing repulsor on his outstretched hand.

They all froze in those positions, Steve in a defensive crouch, Bucky and Tony squared off against each other several metres apart, with Katherine placed dangerously in the middle between them.

"Move," Tony growled at her as the mask of his helmet closed over his face, making no move to lower his hand.

"No," Katherine said, her heart racing a mile a minute in her chest and feeling like she was going to be sick.

"Katya …" Bucky said warningly from behind her. She had no doubt the gun he was holding was trained over her shoulder and onto the lit up eyes of Tony's Iron Man mask.

"It wasn't him," Steve said urgently from the sidelines, evidently wary of escalating things further in the standoff by jumping into the fray. "You just said it - _brainwashing_."

"Katya, get out of the way," Bucky repeated, his voice calm and controlled, dangerously so.

"Tony -" she started to say, staring into the glowing eyes of the man she considered a close friend.

"Move or I will _make_ you move," Tony said to her, ignoring Steve, his voice frighteningly robotic.

"It wasn't him -" she began.

The repulsor in the palm of Tony's had suddenly brightened with a high pitched whine right in front of her as he charged it and Bucky exploded into action.

Katherine felt herself seized around the waist by his metal arm and positively thrown towards one of the sofas as the repulsor let off a beam of light that struck the wall exactly where Bucky had been standing seconds previously; with her safely out of the way, Bucky had his gun pointed straight at Tony's forehead once more, now scant feet separating them instead of metres.

"Stark, stop!" Steve shouted, leaping forwards and forcing Tony's hand down before he could fire the repulsor again - Bucky instantly lowered his gun as well without having to be asked.

The door burst open to reveal Natasha and Clint with their weapons drawn and ready, followed by Wanda Maximoff with her hands lit up red and Colonel Rhodes, with the Vision floating through the wall after them - they had no doubt been alerted to the noise of the smashing glass and burst of Tony's repulsor.

"Tony, what the hell are you doing?" Colonel Rhodes asked, quickly assessing the situation they'd walked into, seeing Tony fully armed and armoured with Katherine still trying to catch her breath from where she had been tossed on the sofa, Steve in his civilian clothes and Bucky, the only other person with a weapon.

Tony ignored him, though the Iron Man helmet was opened to reveal his face once more; it was set into lines of anger, his eyes full of anguish.

"You killed them," he said to Bucky.

Bucky was staring at him, meeting his eyes - it was not a look of confrontation, but rather one of accepting accountability.

"I did," he confirmed.

Tony raised his hand again, the repulsor brightening once more - this time, with Katherine not being threatened, Bucky didn't even raise his gun to defend himself.

Rhodey stepped in and pushed Tony's hand firmly down. "Alright, everybody stand down," he said, with the air of one who was well used to giving commands and having them followed. "Now, does someone want to explain what on earth is going on?"

"Barnes killed my parents," Tony spat instantly, jerking his armoured hand away from Rhodey, clearly resenting having been stopped in firing his repulsor a second time.

"A Hydra mission, as the Soldier," Steve said quickly.

Tony turned to look at Steve, his face showing the gut-wrenching betrayal that he must be feeling. "So you knew?"

Steve barely hesitated before nodding once. "Yes."

"And you didn't _tell_ me," Tony said, his voice twisted with anger and bitterness.

"You didn't need that burden -" Steve started to say, but was interrupted.

"Don't give me that!" Tony said caustically, jerking his chin at Bucky. "This wasn't about _me_ , this was about protecting _him_."

"Tony, you must know that he was brainwashed," Natasha said from the side of the room, a surprising voice of support. "I read his files. Hydra wiped his memories, encoded trigger words into his brain." She shook her head, her perfectly lipsticked mouth set into a frowning moue. "Barnes can't be held responsible for his actions."

There was silence for two seconds.

"I don't care," Tony said simply. His voice dropped to a pain-wracked whisper and he raised his armoured hand once more. " _He killed my mom_."

The repulsor gave a high-pitched whine once again, charging and brightening before Rhodey forced his hand down once more.

"Tony!" several people in the room shouted.

Tony jerked his arm free, angry and frustrated. "He is a _murderer_!" he shouted at them all, as if they didn't understand the situation.

"I guess that makes me a murderer too," Clint said quietly, calmly, from where he had taken a seat at the breakfast bar, his hands fiddling with the fletching of one of his arrows.

Everyone turned to look at him.

Clint raised his gaze from his gun, his eyes fixed on Tony. "Those SHIELD agents, those people that I killed when I was under Loki's control," he said, reminding them all of what he had done - what he had been forced to do - when the Chituari had invaded. "How is that different?"

"It's _different_ ," Tony said sharply, sounding almost annoyed that they were trying these tactics on him.

"And Bruce?" Natasha added, going for a low blow and speaking for Banner since he still hadn't been seen since Sokovia - everyone knew what close friends Tony and Bruce were, and how accountable Bruce felt for the actions of the Hulk. "What would _he_ be saying if he was here?"

"I said it's _different_ ," Tony spat, though the hesitation was clear in his face. "Barnes needs to be held accountable -"

"If I may," the Vision interrupted, his voice mild - despite having several conversations with the Vision, Katherine still found it unusual to head JARVIS' voice coming from the android. "A criminal law review from 1984 states that there are valid moral arguments that brainwashing should afford an excuse for all crimes," he said plainly, his artificial brain, wired into the internet itself, providing the facts of the law. "These arguments are based on the idea that a person acting when brainwashed is not properly regarded as the same person who reverts to normal behavior after deprogramming … as such, it is the Winter Soldier and subsequently Hydra itself, rather than Sergeant Barnes, that you have grievances with."

"I've seen him fight, seen what was _left_ of Hydra bases after he took them," Tony said with disgust, referring to how Bucky had gone off on his own to take on Hydra, and how he had acted as sniper when the team had taken Strucker's base and the fight in Sokovia. "They are one and the same. He _is_ the Soldier and I say that he needs to _pay_ -"

"If we are talking about accountability, then what about yours, Stark?" Wanda Maximoff said, her voice lilting and accented as she stepped in to join the growing conflict. "You are responsible for the death of my whole family. My parents ... My brother."

Both Wanda's eyes and hands were glowing red with emotion, evidence of her powers, but she wasn't done yet.

"And Ultron?" she said slowly, purposefully - Tony clenched his jaw, bracing himself for the accusation that was coming. "That was on _you_."

"You were in my head," he hissed at her even as his conviction visibly wavered, his hands clenched into fists at her pointed words. "You -"

Wanda shook her head. "I showed you your fears," she told him. "You did the rest - _you_ , Stark."

Tony was shaken by her words. "It's _different_ ," he said once more, sounding less than convinced, his tone heavy with guilt.

"From what I've heard, I'd say that you have more blood on your hands than Barnes," Wanda said, then raised her chin as she went for the kill. "I have more reason to hate you and seek vengeance than you do against him … and yet I chose to work _with_ you, to help others." She tilted her head to one side, the angry red light in her eyes fading. "Can you say the same, Stark?"

Tony took an incredulous breath, going on the defensive. "Excuse me, how is this now about me?" .

"Tony," Steve said wearily, sounding old and tired. "You know that this wasn't his fault."

"Don't start, you are not in the clear after having kept this to yourself," Tony snapped at Steve, pointing a stern finger at him, the betrayal making him lash out. "Trust me when I say that we are going to be having a _long_ conversation later."

"Tony … Tony, please," Katherine said very quietly from where she watched from the sofa, shaken and concerned - her words, more than any of the others, seemed to break through Tony's armour and he turned away from them all, scrubbing one hand over his face.

There was a brief silence.

"Stark," Bucky said hesitantly, breaking the heavy silence. "Howard was my friend, if I'd had a choice -"

"Get out," Tony ordered simply, not even turning to face them as he interrupted him. He then sighed deeply and looked over his shoulder, his angry gaze fixed on Bucky. "I don't want to hear it. Just … _get out_ of my sight, _out_ of this facility and _off_ this team before I do something that I might or might not regret."

Recognising that this was clearly as good as the confrontation was going to get, Katherine got shakily to her feet and went to take Bucky's hand. "Come on," she said quietly, starting to tug him from the room, through the silent people.

"... Bonnie?" Tony said quietly, just as she reached the door.

Turning to look over her shoulder, she saw that he looked confused as to why she was going to ... then his expression turned to resigned understanding.

She may work for Tony, even count him as a good friend, but if Bucky was going then so was she.

They shared a long, silent look, then Tony sighed and dropped his gaze - that was it, that was goodbye.

* * *

Half fearful that Tony would change his mind and come after them, Katherine practically dragged Bucky back to the room that had been assigned as theirs in the Compound; they hadn't been there very long, so the room was coldly impersonal with many of their things still at the cabin.

"Well, that … could have been far worse," Katherine said wearily as she paused in the centre of their room, thinking back on how Tony had actually attacked Bucky with his repulsors and how it had been averted.

Feeling drained and exhausted, she sighed and crawled under the bed to find their bags.

"You said you had some supplies and things stockpiled, didn't you?" she asked Bucky as she backed out from under the bed on her hands and knees, blowing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes.

Bucky looked both troubled and confused. "Yes, but …"

"We can't go to the cabin," she said thoughtfully as he trailed off, putting the empty bag on the bed and opening it. "It's in my name and our relationship is well known so we won't be safe there, not for long. Your past is going to come out eventually and not everyone is going to be as understanding." She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "They'll want you to stand trial and -"

"Maybe I should," Bucky interrupted.

She gaped at him in shock and he grimaced at her. "I've committed crimes, Katya," he said tiredly, going over old ground.

"Under duress, as a prisoner of war" she reminded him pointedly.

He still didn't look convinced and she threw up her hands in exasperation.

"You were _brainwashed_ , Bucky!" she cried. "You heard what the Vision said, it _should_ be an excuse but quite frankly I don't trust the American justice system to recognise that."

Bucky took a deep breath, meeting her eyes.

"... So we run?" he said, knowing that they were no longer welcome in the Avenger's Compound despite the numerous voices of support and that the authorities would be coming for him just as soon as the true identity of the 'new Avenger' inevitably leaked to the press.

"We run," Katherine confirmed, nodding her head.

There was silence for a few seconds as she continued to move about the room, gathering their things.

"Katya," Bucky said, still not having moved from near the doorway; when she looked up at him she saw that his face was set in a frown, his eyes distinctly sad. "You don't have to come with me."

She stared at him.

"You have your work, your place here -"

"We've been over this before," Katherine told him, unwilling to budge on this. "When I was hurt it was one thing but -" she briefly cut herself off and looked down at the floor, taking a deep breath before raising her eyes to his once more. "Bucky, I told you that I love you … that means I am sticking by your side for as long as you'll have me."

One corner of his mouth raised into a wry smile, reminding her that decades ago he had been a charming man who was popular with the ladies.

"Forever then?" he asked softly, his voice heavy with emotion.

Katherine smiled at him, her heart fluttering at the subtle declaration in his words - they had said they loved each other, but hadn't talked about what, exactly, the future would hold for them. "If you want," she replied gently, stepping into the circle of his arms.

Bucky pulled her closer, the warmth of his body pressed against her. "It won't be easy or comfortable," he warned her, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"I don't care," she said honestly, wrapping her arms around him.

He drew back ever so slightly so that he could look down at her, keeping her in the circle of his arms. "We won't be able to use our own names, your credit card, commercial travel …"

"I don't _care_ ," she repeated. She went up on to her tiptoes to press her lips briefly to his. "You're not going to talk me out of this," she said almost against his mouth, a hint of warning in her tone.

She felt, rather than saw, his answering smile. "I'm not trying to," he told her before kissing her once more.

He drew back and cupped her cheeks with both hands so that he could meet her eyes once more, one warm, calloused skin, the other hard, smooth metal against her cheeks. "It's you and me again then, doll," he said quietly, with a hint of a Brooklyn drawl.

Katherine smiled, her hands coming up to lightly grip his wrists. "You and me."

* * *

 **Guess where they're going?**

 **Big thank you to auntkia for beating!**

 **Leave a review, my lovelies :)**


	28. Bucharest

A wave struck the bow of the shipping vessel and Katherine's stomach lurched in response. She buried her head in the bucket once more, dry heaving and spitting nothing but bile since she had already emptied her stomach.

She felt Bucky's metal hand on her skin, cool and soothing, and she looked up into his concerned face.

"Here," he said quietly, handing her the tin mug of water that he had gone to collect for her.

"Thanks," she said hoarsely, taking it with shaking hands.

They were on a cargo ship somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, headed for Europe. The crew knew they were there since Bucky had used money stolen from Hydra safe-houses to pay for them to be smuggled out of America. They had been given a tiny cabin with a narrow bed near the bow of the boat and told to keep out of the way.

Trembling all over and covered in a cold sweat, she took a sip of the water, careful not to have too much at once in case it caused her stomach to rebel.

"How much longer?" she asked weakly - they had been on the ship for several days now and she had been plagued with seasickness every day of the voyage.

"A few days," Bucky replied, still sounding concerned.

Katherine made a faint whimpering noise as the huge vessel creaked and moaned around them.

Bucky pushed some damp strands of hair out of her eyes, then pulled the thin blanket higher up around her shoulders for warmth since the metal walls of their cabin seeped all the warmth from the room.

"Try to get some sleep," he said quietly; she knew full well that he was worried about her, probably thinking that she should have stayed behind at the compound.

He remained sat up on the narrow bed while Katherine curled up against his side without argument, pressing close to him for warmth. It was probably only about the middle of the afternoon, but the innards of the ship were always dark and the constant nausea had exhausted her.

Tired and miserable, she closed her eyes and tried to ignore the creaking of the ship as it ploughed through the rough waves of the Atlantic.

* * *

Several days later, the vessel docked in a large, industrial port in Lisbon. More money changing hands saw them smuggled off the ship in the middle of the night with little trouble.

With their bags on their back, Bucky lead them deftly through the industrial area and out into the city. It was dark and chilly, lit only by orange streetlights, but Katherine was just glad to have solid ground underneath her feet again rather than the lurching of the ship. She had decided that traveling by sea was not her thing.

They found a grimy, twenty-four hour fast food restaurant. After making sure she was tucked securely into a corner with a cup of tea in front of her, Bucky left her to go and collect supplies, things he had stolen and stockpiled from Hydra in various cities so that he was prepared wherever they went.

Katherine had half-heartedly talked about going with him to get the supplies, but he had insisted that it was too dangerous, that she would be safer in the restaurant and that he would be quicker without her.

Warm and no longer feeling like her stomach was trying to turn itself inside out with every movement of the ship, she had agreed and stayed in the restaurant, drinking several cups of overly sweetened tea from the styrofoam cups while she waited.

It was several hours later that he came back, slipping quietly between the plastic tables. He was carrying a new, bulging bag over his shoulder and two rolled up sleeping bags, his hat pulled down low over his face.

"Come on," he said quietly, jerking his head towards the door.

Reinvigorated by her rest and the tea, Katherine stood and allowed him to take her hand and tow her out into the night once more.

They walked for over an hour, sticking to quiet, narrow streets of the city until they reached a fenced off train track.

Bucky hunkered down low beside the fence, with Katherine crouching beside him. "We're getting a train?" she whispered, since he had yet to tell her where they were going.

He nodded. "See down there?" he said, nodding his head down the tracks. "There's a signal box. Freight trains headed throughout Europe pass through here on their way from the docks, stopping at the signal box to allow other trains to pass. We need to get further inland, it doesn't matter which train we take at the moment."

After a few more minutes of watching the tracks she heard the rumbling of a train and felt a flash of panic, wondering if Bucky expected her to jump onto it while it was still moving. Before she could voice her fear, he had pulled out a pair of wire cutters and started cutting his way through the metal fence.

"Come, quickly," he said, pulling the fence aside for her to crawl through. He followed, pushing the fence back into place so that it wasn't easy to see it had been cut.

A bright light was making its way towards them, signalling the arrival of the oncoming train. Sure enough, the signal box had turned red and the freight train, many hundreds of meters long with dozens upon dozens of metal containers, rumbled to a halt in front of them.

Bucky directed her towards the train and, with a sharp tug of his gloved metal hand, broke the lock on one of the containers. He cracked it open just wide enough for them to slip through, letting her go first, before pushing it firmly closed and plunging them into darkness.

For a moment, all Katherine could hear was the shaky sound of her breaths, then there was a distinct click and a beam of light filled the container.

Bucky had turned on a torch and was shining it around the dark, metal container. It was piled with boxes and wooden crates, but there was just enough room between them for them to put two sleeping bags down.

The train rumbled back into movement beneath them and there was little else to do but spread out their sleeping bags and curl up on the floor to get some rest.

Katherine found she didn't like the sleeping bags, not used to the swathes of fabric separating her from Bucky, despite them lying close together.

As if sensing her melancholy, he reached out in the darkness and took her hand in his as the freight train sped out of Lisbon.

* * *

Several hours later Katherine was woken by a shaft of light streaming into the container.

Blinking awake, she saw that Bucky had risen and was standing at the container door. He had opened it a crack to let fresh air in and was looking out at the countryside speeding by.

Katherine sat up slowly - only for her stomach to lurch once again at the movement.

Scrambling to her feet, she staggered towards the doorway and dropped to her knees. Bucky instantly supported her as she leant forwards and vomited down onto the tracks speeding beneath them, the sight of them making her even more nauseous.

Bucky had his hands on her face, her hair, checking her over with a distinct look of worry on his face. "I thought you would feel better off the ship," he said in concern.

"It's just - motion sickness," she muttered, sitting back against the metal container wall and already feeling like her nausea was passing.

Still frowning, Bucky went and got her a bottle of water from one of the bags; she opened it and drunk gratefully, being careful not to have too much at once lest it aggravate her stomach again.

"Wishing you hadn't come?" he asked softly, squatting beside her.

"No," she said instantly, knowing that in some twisted way he was blaming himself for her having motion sickness. "No, not at all."

He nodded thoughtfully, though still looked less than convinced. "We'll get off the train the next time it stops," he said, the corners of his mouth turned down. "We'll find a town, get some medicine for you."

Katherine nodded, appreciating this - she knew that she had insisted on coming along with him, but she couldn't help but feel that she had been nothing but a burden so far.

In fact, she couldn't help but wonder if it was in fact the other way around - if he was the one wishing that she hadn't come.

* * *

They got off the train when it stopped at some signals in rural France. Bucky had determined that they were far enough inland now that they could use cash to pay for commercial travel, so it was a short walk to the nearest town. They had found a pharmacy and Katherine was able to buy some ginger tablets, which helped with her lingering motion sickness. She still felt tired and nauseous at times, but was no longer vomiting.

After two more days of train travel - this time in actual carriages with seats rather than freight containers - they stopped in Prague.

By this point, Katherine was exhausted. They hadn't slept in a proper bed (the narrow cot on the ship didn't count) in nearly two weeks and all of the food they had eaten had been on the go.

Taking pity on her since she was clearly about to drop, Bucky sat her down in a small cafe in Prague train station with an overly sweet cup of tea while he went and sorted tickets for the next leg of their journey.

While he was gone, Katherine got out her phone and turned it on for the first time since leaving the compound since she had been worried about being tracked. She watched as message after message came in - many from Steve, some from Tony, a handful from other members of the team.

They all essentially said the same thing - let us know that you're safe.

Opening up a new message, she addressed it to both Tony and Steve together and sent just one word.

 _Safe._

She then sighed and turned off her phone, even going as far as to take the sim card out as well.

She couldn't help but wonder what had happened between Tony and Steve once she and Bucky had left. Tony had been undeniably angry that Steve had left him in the dark about his parents, but she hoped that they would be able to talk and work through that for the sake of the team.

Bucky approached her, tickets in one gloved hand and a plate of food in the other. Katherine mustered a small smile for him.

"Not much longer, we're nearly there," he said, putting the food down in front of her - it was some kind of pastry with plum jam and it smelt fantastic.

"Nearly where?" Katherine said, tearing a chunk off the flakey, buttery pastry with her fingers. "You've decided where we're going?"

He nodded. "Bucharest," he said simply. "I speak Romanian and the safe house there is …" He grimaced and rubbed the back of his head with one hand "Well, it's not in the best condition, but it's better than many of the others."

She nodded as she chewed her mouthful of the pastry, happy to go anywhere so long as it was with him.

"Guess you're going to have to start teaching me Romanian then," she said with a small smile, one that she was pleased to see he returned.

* * *

It was the middle of the afternoon when they arrived in Bucharest.

They decided to walk through the city from the train station to the safe house, with Bucky saying that he wanted her to know the route quickly in case they needed to make a quick exit. Katherine was more than happy to take this opportunity to see the city and stretch her legs after being inactive for so long. She had never been to Bucharest before and found the mixture of old and new architecture to be very beautiful. It was clearly a bustling, vibrant city and she suspected she would enjoy living here - after all, Bucky could have chosen the wilds of Siberia for safety for them, whereas here they could perhaps have a semi-normal life.

The corner of the city that Bucky lead her to had a bustling market and numerous shops near to the apartment building. The building he was headed towards was a large white complex, with balconies lining the outside, many of them containing plants or washing lines. Wordlessly, they made their way inside and climbed up several floors.

Bucky unlocked the door to the apartment and stepped back to allow her to enter first.

Katherine walked slowly inside and dropped her bag to the floor, looking around curiously.

The apartment was on the small side. It was undeniably shabby and run down, but it was far better than the safe-house she had been to with Bucky after the Hydra mission she had gone on to clear their faces from the system. It smelt slightly musty and damp and the windows were all covered with peeling newspaper, making the whole space dark and dingy.

The front door lead straight into a living room with a sagging sofa, a bare mattress on the floor and a small kitchenette with broken tiles. Further investigation led her to a small bathroom with a shower over a bath and a bedroom that was empty aside from a wardrobe and broken bed frame; probably the reason the mattress had been dragged into the living room.

Coming back into the living area, she opened the door to the balcony and stepped out. They were several floors up and the view, while nothing spectacular with several other concrete building roofs below their level, was at least interesting as it gave a wide view of this corner of the city.

Bucky stood silently and watched as she explored the small apartment.

"I know it's not much," he said, sounding hesitant, self-conscious even. "But it's better than many of the other safe houses."

"It's not much, no," she agreed, then turned to face him with a small smile. "But we can make it better, can't we? We can make it a home."

A look of relief crossed Bucky's face at her words and he nodded.

He took her hands in his and held them to his chest. "I know this isn't the life you wanted, the life you deserve … but do you think you could be happy here?"

Katherine went on to her tiptoes and kissed him, swaying on her feet. After a long moment, she drew back. "As long as I am with you, I can be happy anywhere."

Bucky seemed pleased to hear that, leaning forwards to kiss her again. His hands shifted down to her hips, pulling her flush against him, while her own fingers found their way into his hair.

Aside from soothing, chaste kisses on her temple or cheek, they had scarcely even kissed the whole time they had been travelling since she had been so sick and tired. It was clear that both of them were now craving the closeness and intimacy they'd been denied.

His hands found their way up beneath the hem of the jumper she was wearing as they kissed and Katherine forced herself to pull back.

"Right, first things first," she said breathlessly, still in the circle of his arms. "We walked passed a big homeware store just down the road. We should head there before it closes to get the essentials."

Bucky initially looked reluctant to stop kissing her, then a look of realisation crossed his face. "I don't fancy another night in sleeping bags, I want to be able to hold you close again." His arms pulled her even tighter against him to make his point. He looked thoughtful for a moment, clearly making a mental list of what they'd need. "The mattress should be fine for now but we'll need a new bed frame. We should get something to patch the walls and broken tiles, I want to get a deadbolt for the door -"

She cut him off with another quick kiss to his mouth. "Let's go then, Sarge."

He grinned at the old nickname and allowed her to tow him out of the door of the small apartment.

* * *

Several hours later found them busy at work.

Bucky was assembling a flat pack double bed in the bedroom while Katherine flitted around, deep cleaning the whole apartment with her phone plugged in on the counter and playing music.

She seemed content and that made him happy. He had been undeniably worried about her on their long journey here. She had seemed tired, drawn and miserable since leaving the compound, not to mention the motion-sickness that she had been plagued with.

She still didn't seem entirely back to normal, with pale skin and tired circles under her eyes, but she was his to take care of and he was confident that he could make her happy despite their circumstances.

It was late by the time they had finished their work for the evening.

They had only bought a handful of things from the homeware store they had been to - a bed, bedding, duvet, pillows and cleaning supplies. They had considered getting more but would have struggled to carry it without a car. Katherine had also argued that if they were furnishing the entire apartment then they should actually think and plan out what they wanted to get anyway.

He was happy to agree, but that decision had left them without any pots, plans, plates, cups or crockery, something they had laughed about as they sat on the sagging sofa and ate their take-out dinner late at night with plastic chopsticks straight from the cardboard containers.

Getting food and kitchenware was put high on the list of jobs for tomorrow, alongside Bucky sorting false papers for them.

The conversation turned to what they were going to do here in the city.

Money was not an issue for them with all of the money and supplies he had stockpiled from the Hydra bases he had taken. They also had the money she had earned from selling her code, but that was only as a backup since it was more likely that money from her bank account could be traced.

Both of them said that they didn't want to be stuck inside all day, even though neither of them had to work.

Bucky was determined to do up the apartment for them, a job that would take several weeks at least. Katherine, meanwhile, had been talking about nanotechnology, something that she and Tony had been developing and experimenting with for his suits. It was a whole different area of coding that involved neural interfacing and many things that went over Bucky's head, but she had been doing lots of research and additional studying in this field for some weeks now. She was planning on continuing that research, potentially using the public library as a base so that nothing could be tracked back to the apartment, with the hope of a reconciliation with Tony.

Not long after they had finished dinner the two of them were getting ready for bed.

Katherine had brushed her teeth and used the small bathroom first, and so she was already in their newly assembled bed by the time Bucky was done.

He came to join her, wearing just a pair of boxers, slipping between the new, stiff covers that still held creases from being in the packaging.

She was dressed in just a t-shirt and small pair of pyjama bottoms for bed and he automatically pulled her closer into his arms.

Bucky hummed contentedly as he savoured the warmth and softness of her skin. "I've missed holding you like this," he admitted, nuzzling his nose into her neck. "Sleeping bags just aren't the same."

Katherine's hands wound their way around his neck, tilting her head back to allow him access to her throat. "I've missed it too," she said with a hint of breathlessness in her voice.

His mouth found hers and he kissed her soundly.

Within moments he had pushed her gently over on to her back, with him hovering above her and bracing his weight on his metal arm.

"What else have you missed?" he asked her in a low voice.

She tilted her face up, wanting more. "You kissing me," she said against his lips.

He was in a teasing mood and wasn't going to make this easy for her. "Kissing you where?" he wanted to know, scarcely brushing her mouth with his.

"Everywhere," she breathed as she clung on to his shoulders.

He lowered his mouth and placed a light kiss just below her ear. "Here?" he murmured against her skin.

"Yes," she whispered, arching into him.

He lowered his mouth further, allowing his lips to just graze her pulse. "Here?" he asked again, pressing an open mouthed kiss to her neck.

"Yes, Bucky …" she sighed, her breaths coming quickly.

He worked his way down her neck with gentle kisses to the top of the t-shirt she was wearing, even while his flesh hand slid up beneath the hem, over her warm, soft stomach. Taking the hint, she raised her arms and allowed him to pull the t-shirt off completely, leaving her in nothing but a little pair of shorts.

He cupped her bare breast in his flesh hand, feeling her nipple hardening as he brushed it with his thumb. "What about here?" he said, raising his gaze up to her from where his mouth hovered between the valley of her breasts.

"Yes, _please_ Bucky …" she whispered, practically panting now as she pressed her hips to his, no doubt feeling how hard and ready he was for her.

He spent several minutes laving attention to her breasts, taking each nipple in his mouth and savouring each of her sighs, gasps and moans at his ministrations.

Slowly, his hand moved down her stomach and dipped beneath the waistband of her shorts, finding her hot and wet for him.

"And here?" he asked, his fingers brushing her sensitive spot.

Katherine arched into him again, spreading her legs slightly and pressing herself against his fingers. "Oh, please …" she moaned with her nails digging in to his shoulders, her eyes closed and her head back on the pillows.

He hooked his fingers into her shorts and started to draw them down her legs. "Please what, darlin'?"

She opened her eyes to look at him, her pupils blown wide with desire. " _Please_ , Bucky," she repeated, gasping for breath as he parted her thighs. "I need - I need to feel you. I need you to touch me, I need -"

Her words were cut off with a strangled moan as his mouth found her centre.

* * *

"Katya."

She groaned slightly at the sound of Bucky's voice and turned her head into the pillow. It was early and she was by no means awake, not to mention absolutely exhausted after a night of making love.

"I need to go and sort our papers," she heard him say. She felt metal fingertips pushing hair out of her face, the covers being pulled up higher around her naked body to keep her warm, then a gentle kiss being placed on her temple. "Stay here, I'll be back in a few hours."

Katherine hummed sleepily in acknowledgement, not even opening her eyes. She heard the sound of him leaving the apartment and snuggled deeper in the duvet, trying to fall back to sleep.

Sleep, however, was not coming - as she woke up properly she became aware of a nauseous, swirling feeling in her stomach, much like the motion sickness she'd had on the boat and train.

She tried to ignore it, but a sudden lurch in her stomach had her bolting from the bed and running to the bathroom with a hand covering her mouth.

Katherine was shaking and slightly dizzy by the time she had finished vomiting, kneeling naked on the bathroom floor as she clung to the toilet seat.

She didn't have the excuse of motion sickness anymore. For the first time, she began to suspect _exactly_ what it meant that she had been sick most mornings for the past week or so.

It didn't make any sense though; she had been to the doctors in the tower to sort contraception before she and Bucky had started sleeping together.

Even so, she couldn't deny the evidence that was racking up - now that she thought about it, she had been feeling tired and nauseous before they had even left the Compound, but had thought that was down to stress. Her breasts were also sensitive but she had attributed that as a sign her period was soon to start.

Wait, when was her last period?

Knowing that she would not be able to do anything until she knew for sure, Katherine stumbled to her feet. She returned to the bedroom on shaky legs and grabbed the first clothes she could see before heading out of the apartment.

Bucky had told her to stay here, but she _had_ to know.

There was a small chemist just down the road from their apartment building that was open despite the early hour. Within minutes Katherine was putting three boxed pregnancy tests and a bottle of water on the counter to pay for them.

She chugged the bottle of water on her way back up the stairs to the apartment and headed straight to the bathroom to do all three of the tests, praying she had results before Bucky returned.

She forced herself not to look at them during the two minutes she had to wait. She sat on the edge of the bathtub and stared down at the instructions that said which lines meant which result in one hand and her phone with a two minute timer set in the other.

Once the two minutes were up she turned over the tests one by one with trembling hands.

They all said the same result.

Positive.

She was pregnant.

* * *

Bucky returned to find Katherine sitting on the small, sagging sofa of the apartment, dressed in yesterday's clothes with her hair tied messily up out of the way, wringing her hands.

She looked up at him as the door opened. "You're back," she said in obvious relief, her face pale and drawn.

"Yes," he frowned slightly at her, wondering what had her so worried. In all honesty, he had expected to find her still in bed since it was barely the middle of the morning and she'd seemed so tired. He'd bought some fresh pastries from the market on his way back, thinking to surprise her with breakfast in bed, but here she was sat on the sofa waiting for him with clear anxiety. "Are you alright?"

"I'm … fine," she said simply, dropping her eyes. She took a deep breath and raised her gaze to look at him once more. "Did you get our papers?" she wanted to know.

Bucky slowly handed her the envelope of false documents - he very much doubted that the papers were what she was worried about and wondered if something had happened while he was gone.

Katherine opened the envelope and looked through them; Bucky's sharp eyes noted that her hands were shaking.

"Katya and James Grant," she said, reading the names on the documents aloud. She looked up at him curiously. "Why Grant?"

"Steve's middle name," he explained, still staring at her.

She nodded and looked through the documents once more.

"We're married?" she asked, a ghost of a smile flickering over her face.

"It's the cover that makes the most sense," he told her. He tilted his head at her, still trying to work out what the problem was since she was clearly unhurt and yet trembling like a leaf. "Do you mind?"

Katherine shook her head.

He hesitated, then reached into his pocket.

"You'll need something to complete the cover though," he said, holding a thin, plain gold band out to her.

Her breath caught and she met his eyes.

"May I?" he asked softly, taking her left hand in his.

She nodded, her eyes very bright, and he slipped the wedding band on to her ring finger.

He gave her a small smile and fished another, larger ring out of his pocket. "We're in luck, Romanians wear their rings on the right hand so I can still wear one too," he said, since he couldn't wear a ring on his metal hand.

Katherine's hands stopped his as he was about to put the ring on himself.

She took it from him and, carefully taking his right hand, slid the ring onto his finger with a smile.

Bucky stepped forward to kiss her, cupping her cheeks in his hands.

She kissed him back, her hands coming up to grip his wrists as she leaned into him, but he could still feel her tension, the trembling that was wracking her body.

He drew back, keeping his hands on her cheeks. "Katya, what's wrong?" he asked quietly, insistently.

"I'm fine," she said quickly, too quickly. "It's just …" She took a deep breath. "Bucky, there's something I need to tell you."

He frowned down at her, wondering what she could have to tell him that had her so worried. She almost seemed fearful of him, reminding him of when he had first taken her from the museum in DC.

Had she decided that she didn't want to stay here with him, that she wanted to go back to the Compound instead? Was she afraid of his reaction?

"I'm …" She hesitated, then rambled on. "I only realised today and did a test - well, three actually - and they were all positive and I'm kind of scared and freaking out and -

"Katya," he interrupted since she wasn't making much sense at all and his alarm was growing.

She took a deep, steadying breath and raised her eyes to meet his. "Bucky, I'm pregnant."

His lips parted and he stared down at her, unable to comprehend her words. "What …?"

"I only just realised today, but it must why I've been so sick and tired the past weeks," she said, speaking quickly. "I know I went to the doctors back in the tower but - well, I guess the serum enhanced _all_ of you and contraception doesn't work against super soldier sperm, or whatever, and -"

"Katya," he interrupted her once more, his voice dazed. He had to make sure he'd heard her right. "We're … we're having a baby?"

She nodded slowly, worriedly, her lower lip caught in her teeth.

He exhaled an explosive breath and dropped to his knees, taking her hips in his hands and pressing his forehead to her stomach.

She wasn't leaving him - they were having a _baby_.

"You're … happy about this?" Katherine asked, her hands fluttering cautiously over his shoulders.

"During the war, my dreams were to return home, find a girl, get married and have a family," he told her, still resting his forehead on her stomach and feeling utterly overwhelmed and elated at the prospect of a child - their child - after he had thought that possibility lost to him forever. "After Hydra I thought I could have none of that, but now …"

He realised the nuance in her question and suddenly raised his head to look up at her, staying upon his knees. "Are you not happy?" he asked quickly, concerned at how anxious she had been.

Her lips parted and she hesitated for a moment before replying. "I … I _think_ so," she told him slowly, making him breathe a sigh of relief. "Now that I know that _you_ are I'm definitely less worried, I didn't know how you were going to react."

He nodded, his hands moving from her hips to her stomach as he knelt before her. Her stomach was still little more than a gentle womanly curve this early in her pregnancy, but he couldn't help but marvel at the fact that their child - _their child_ \- was inside her.

"But … I'm scared too, Bucky," she admitted quietly.

He looked up at her, finding her eyes wide and her lower lip swollen from where she had chewed on it.

"This is all new and intense and scary," she continued, her hands on his shoulders. "I always knew I wanted children one day, but … can we do this? Are we ready for it? I know nothing about children, or being a mother."

"Marry me," he blurted out, still on his knees before her.

She blinked, jerking her head slightly. "What?"

" _Marry me_ , Katya," he said insistently, his hands moving to grip her hips once more as he continued to stare up at her. "We could be a family."

A small, dazed smile was playing around her mouth. "Thought I just did marry you," she pointed out, nodding towards the thin gold band on her finger.

" _Properly_ , not just as a cover," he insisted, wanting nothing more than to marry her truly. "We could go down to the courthouse right now, put our new papers to the test."

"Are you … being serious?" she asked him in bewilderment, clearly not believing him.

Bucky grinned and purposefully shifted his position, moving so that he was on one knee and taking her left hand in his so that there could be no confusion in what he meant. "Katherine Summers," he said seriously, grinning up at her. "Will you marry me?"

She stared down at him for a long moment, then a silly smile spread slowly across her face. "Yes … Yes, Bucky, I will marry you."

Feeling like his heart was going to burst out of his chest from sheer joy, Bucky got to his feet and kissed her soundly, picking her up and swinging her around the living room of their small, derelict apartment in his exuberation.

She giggled against his mouth, the sound light and happy, and in that moment Bucky felt that he would have done it all again - the freight train, the torture, the memory wipes and the brainwashing - if he meant that it lead to this moment with her.

He set her feet back on the floor but kept her in the circle of his arms.

"You'll really marry me?" he said once more with a wide grin, wanting to check that this was real.

Katherine laughed again. "Yes … but not today," she added quickly.

Bucky felt his face fall ever so slightly, wanting nothing more than to whisk her off to the nearest courthouse at that very moment.

Seeing his expression, Katherine reached up and took his face in her hands. "I want our wedding to be something that we share with our friends," she said earnestly and he saw instantly that she was right. "I mean, can you imagine the look on Steve's face if he found out he didn't get to be your best man after all these years?"

He chuckled and shook his head, knowing full well that Steve would look like a kicked puppy at such news. "You make a good point …"

He lowered his mouth to kiss her once more. "There's also the fact that I want to see you in a white dress and then take it off you," he added wickedly, letting his mouth hover over hers.

She laughed and kissed him again for a long moment, before pulling back once more. "And … and I'd like Tony to be there."

Bucky sighed and nodded.

He knew how close she and Tony had become - with her father absent from her life and having grown up as an only child, she had started to view Tony as the family she'd never quite had.

Katherine smiled up at him at his agreement, looking utterly happy. "I guess we'll just have to live in sin until then."

He lowered his forehead to her shoulder with a chuckle and a shake of his head as a thought struck him.

"What is it?"

"I was imagining what my mother would have said back in the forties if she found out I'd knocked up a girl before marrying her," he told her honestly, then grinned widely down at her. "I'd have gotten a right chewing out."

"Quite the scoundrel, you are," she said teasingly, her arms looped around his neck.

Her expression turned serious once more, though her smile lingered. "I love you, Bucky Barnes," she said earnestly, cupping his cheeks.

"I love you too," he told her, his heart feeling impossibly light.

They kissed for another long moment in the middle of their small living room, with Katherine's hands moving into his hair and Bucky's hands on her hips.

Scarcely a year ago he had been nothing but the Soldier, Hydra's asset with no independent thought or free will of his own … now he was Bucky Barnes once more. He had control over the Soldier in his mind, he'd fought with the Avengers and he was going to e a _father_.

"You are my life now, Katya, and I love you - I love you so damn much," he whispered against her mouth as his hands moved to caress her stomach, silently swearing to himself that no one - _no one_ \- would ever harm her or their child. "You and our baby."

* * *

 **Sorry for the long wait between chapters - currently have THREE stories on the go!**

 **Big thank you to auntkia for betaing :)**

 **Not long to go now before Endgame …**

 **Leave a review, my darlings!**


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